Suggest an opening line for GWB's State of the Union Address

[shereads]

Life is like a box of chocolates.

 

[Guest]

He needs to walk up to the podium with a swagger, a cowboy hat, chaps and two six gun shooters....

he then needs to tell everyone that he is going to run the US like he ran Texas....

so his opening line needs to be

"Praise G*d and pass the ammunition!!"

 

[RebeccaLeah]

I believe it is finally time for you, the American citizens, to know the truth.
or
I wrekin' it's about time ya'll hear the truth.

(I don't even know where the hell that's going)

 

[LadyJeanne]

*tap tap tap*

"Is this thing on?"



This is what he started with in 2/2005:

"As a new Congress gathers, all of us in the elected branches of government share a great privilege: we have been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve. And tonight that is a privilege we share with newly elected leaders of Afghanistan, the Palestinian territories, Ukraine, and a free and sovereign Iraq."

 

[Boxlicker101]

Goo morning (or Good afternoon, depending) ladies and germs. A very funny thing happened to me on my way here today.....

 

[shereads]

This thread was inspired, if I may abuse the word, by a stunning moment on this weekend's "Meet the Press." Someone made the comment that people close to GWB admire his "zen-like attitude."




















































I know! Me, too. I nearly spit up a lung...Along with Forrest, I thought of Peter Sellers in "Being There," although he had too much dignity for this role. And of course, there's Alfred E. Neuman. What? Me, worry?

 

[The_Darkness]

I think it should be:

My fellow Americans. We have entered an era of truth and democracy, and that truth is that I was never elected leader of the free world by popular vote. However, since I'm here anyway....

 

[Boota]

I think he just say what he really feels.

"Suck it, bitches! Daddy and his friends said I get to be President, so 'Ha Ha'!"

The 'Ha Ha' would be a Nelson Muntz impersonation.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

"I am here by the will of Almighty God, which somehow works out with the consent of the people."

 

[Liar]

"Fellow Canadians...no, wait...fuck a duck, whose speech is this?..."

 

[Guest]

¡Hola!

 

[Guest]

Stardate 010606 -

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Bush family empire. Its multi-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

 

[JamesSD]

"Voters of America: You reap what you sow"

 

[Guest]

President Bush steps up to the mic and says, "Hi, this is Karl Rove. Could you bring a pizza up to my office. Oh damn, I told him to shake more hands first?"

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"D-uh..?"

 

[CopyCarver]

"Voters of America: You reap what you sow"

Sadly, we reap the votes that five Supreme Court Justices sowed--after one of them was bribed with a job for his son.

 

[Guest]

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Sadly, we reap the votes that five Supreme Court Justices sowed--after one of them was bribed with a job for his son.

I'm so sick of this refrain.

The results in florida showed Bush winning by 500 plus votes. Florida's election law has provision for a statewide recount in elections that close. had the Democrats been confident they would win, they could have simply abided by the law. they were not, however, gains made in havily democratic districts like west palm would be enough to overcome similar expected gains for Bush in heavily Republican districts like Seminole. So they decided to try and count only the results in their districts. the Democratic state supreme court approved such a move and that, not anything Bush did, opened up an appeal in the federal courts because federal election law requires fairness to all candidates.

Even then, the Justices tried to stay out of it. they sent the decision back to the Florida Supreme court asking what they based the decision on and the Fla supreme court thumbed it's nose at SCOTUS. At that point, they did take a hand, but they didn't hand the election to Bush, they just outlined the parameters by which a recount could be done in accordance with federal election law.

I'm sick of seeing the supreme court banged by sore losers. Your candidate took it to the court system. And that court system upheld the idea elections have to be fair. You don't have to like Bush, but with a fairly evenly split court, it is apparent trying to do a selective recount was repudiated as unfair. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think they did a damn fine job when the role of kingmaker was thrust upon them. They chose not to. Which is what I would hope they would do.

 

[Guest]

Hoe-la!

"D-uh..?"

I like yours best, Swede. Though I think mine would certainly prick some ears (so long as he didn't misprounounce it, e.g., pronounce the 'H', ha ha ha).

Perdita

 

[matriarch]

Please tell me I've missed it?
I so did not want to turn on the tv and there he was talking to ME!!

Ye gods, I'd have had to go and do some housework or laundry, and that would be just plain nasty.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I like yours best, Swede. Though I think mine would certainly prick some ears (so long as he didn't misprounounce it, e.g., pronounce the 'H', ha ha ha).

Perdita

*takes a bow*

As long as he doesn't try to read outloud from the speech translated into Spanish by his Puertorican maid Consuela; I doubt it would be very popular if he addressed the spanish-speaking voters with:

"Cerdos y putas - me gustaría chopar sus pollos en mi boca y chingar tus madres!"

(One of my classmates in high school spoke spanish...)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

"A Rabbi, a Cleric and a Shaman walk into a bar..."

 

[CharleyH]

Life is like a box of chocolates.

LOL! BEST ONE YET!

 

[Guest]

"A Rabbi, a Cleric and a Shaman walk into a bar..."

BWAH!

 

[CopyCarver]

I'm so sick of this refrain.

The results in florida showed Bush winning by 500 plus votes. Florida's election law has provision for a statewide recount in elections that close. had the Democrats been confident they would win, they could have simply abided by the law. they were not, however, gains made in havily democratic districts like west palm would be enough to overcome similar expected gains for Bush in heavily Republican districts like Seminole. So they decided to try and count only the results in their districts. the Democratic state supreme court approved such a move and that, not anything Bush did, opened up an appeal in the federal courts because federal election law requires fairness to all candidates.

Even then, the Justices tried to stay out of it. they sent the decision back to the Florida Supreme court asking what they based the decision on and the Fla supreme court thumbed it's nose at SCOTUS. At that point, they did take a hand, but they didn't hand the election to Bush, they just outlined the parameters by which a recount could be done in accordance with federal election law.

I'm sick of seeing the supreme court banged by sore losers. Your candidate took it to the court system. And that court system upheld the idea elections have to be fair. You don't have to like Bush, but with a fairly evenly split court, it is apparent trying to do a selective recount was repudiated as unfair. Nothing more, nothing less.

I think they did a damn fine job when the role of kingmaker was thrust upon them. They chose not to. Which is what I would hope they would do.

No offense, but I’m more convinced by facts than by attempts to change the subject to what you may or may not be tired of.

Fact 1: Bush did appoint Eugene Scalia as a lead attorney for the U.S. Dept. of Labor in 2001

Fact 2: Justice Scalia was aware that his son would receive the appointment if George Bush won the Supreme Court decision, and that he almost certainly would not be appointed if Gore won.

Fact 3: Judicial canons of ethics call for all judges, from the lowest ranking all the way up to Supreme Court Justices, to recuse themselves from cases in which they have personal interest

Fact 4: Justice Scalia did not recuse himself.

Feel free to have the last word if you wish. I made my point; I stand by it; and I see no point in singing, whistling, or choreographing the blatantly obvious. Besides, I wouldn’t want to increase your “tiredness” quotient.
More importantly, both your comment and mine are out-of-synch with the humorous intent of the thread. I apologize for temporarily deflecting the thrust--but not for my statement, which is true.