Subspace: Where is it for you?

[RisiaSkye]

You're welcome, Rose.

And even if it feels kinda like "I think I get it. Maybe.", you'll know it when you find it. Trust me, when it happens for you, you'll know. That "um, what?" feeling is how we *all* started, so far as I can tell.

Be well,
RS

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay. So where is that Dom that's going to drive me there? LOL

Guess no one can answer that one. I'll go dig out my Ouja board.

Rose

 

[SexyChele]

I acheived subspace with my first Dom, but unfortunately never knew what the feelings were, or that there was a name for it.

Willow described as best as anyone can. You feel sort of "high" - you are there, feeling everything, hearing everything, but you are floating at the same time. You want to beg for more, but talking - or verbalization - can be difficult. I know that, for me, I become very quiet. My Dom used to have to ask me direct questions so as to find out where I was, if I knew what was happening.

Well, I'm not going to "butcher" Willow's words any more than I already have.

How to get there? Well, it didn't happen when we first started playing. And the first time I hit subspace (after about a year of playing), it scared both of us. Me because it was so new, and my Dom because all he knew was that I was not giving him the normal feedback. Neither one of us really knew what was happening!

Like Quint, for me it happened the first time I was able to engage in anal sex sucessfully. There is just a build up of different emotions - trust, fear, anxiety, desire. It all rolls together and just creates this feeling.

It's been a while, but I'm hoping to rekindle that feeling again soon!

 

[A Desert Rose]

It's like Disneyland

Thank you SexyChele and everyone who contributed to this.

I remember riding Space Mountain in Disneyland for the first time. (It's a roller coaster that is almost completely in the dark.) It was pretty scary, but also the most exhilaratingly fun thing.......

Something to look forward to and somethings to think about.

Rose

 

[Persephone36]

Unlike most things, biochemistry doesn't play favorites. *wink*

It's better than drugs.

Risia -- you're singing my song here, lol.

You know just the right things to say, doncha?

Perse

 

[PlayDoe]

Look in the mirror

It's the "Neverending Story".


You can't find subspace cuz you're already in it!

 

[serijules]

ahhhhh, subspace....

I used to never believe in subspace...even to the point where I thought it was some sort of defense mechanism of the mind that a sub forced themselves into when things got too intense to handle in a normal mindframe.

I love it when I'm proved wrong.

The first time I found subspace was also the first time I was caned. I wrote a story about the experience. Here is a section from said story that forever captures how much that moment changed me....

I was trembling before it even started, gripping that pillow and trying to look relaxed, pretending I wanted this, pretending that I was a painslut; pretending that I could just fade into a space I didn't believe existed and everything would be just fine.

I felt the cane tap again, but before I could pull my mind back into reality, my backside exploded with a thin, hot line of pure pain. I sucked my breath in deeply, quickly, and held it, my fingers sinking into the pillow as the burn quickly chased behind, colliding with the pain and merging into something I can only describe as pure bliss. All my worries, my doubts, sank into my skin with that single stroke, like a shot of liquor; burning and settling and blooming into a glow that left you wanting more and more.

And oh did I want more. My trembling fingers loosened their grip on the pillow, my body relaxed...submitted...to the scene. Not to him...no, I was not submitting to him, for our relationship was not one where that submission was appropriate at that time. I was submitting to where he was taking me, the first step into a space I didn't believe in, to a pain that I couldn't tolerate, and an implement that I didn't understand. He had no idea what he was doing to me, no idea just how much of a virgin I was not only to the cane, but to the space he was leading me to. I didn't tell him. Not just yet.

I barely noticed the preparation for the second stroke, but felt the impact to my ass, spreading like wildfire to my mind where I embraced it, cradled it with my submission. Again, and again...pauses to switch canes that I was dimly aware of, occasionally nodding to a murmured inquiry that I didn't understand and had no need to, the reassurance of his presence WITH me was all I needed. Each stroke was a spark of acceptance; accepting the pain, the lingering burn, accepting my loss of control, letting my grip on reality slide, and submitting not to Him, not to the cane, but to myself.

I was in subspace and I didn't even know it.

Reading back on that now, after experiencing subspace quite a few times since then, I have to say that nothing that I've experienced or explored since has left as positive of am impact on me (no pun intended) as my discovery of subspace.

As a sidenote, an interesting effect of subspace on me is I get the shakes. Scares the heck out of my partners sometimes to see me dissolve into trembles, but never fails...when I hit subspace, I get the trembles, and they don't fade for hours after. Yum.

 

[Lancecastor]

I think that what people are trying to describe is what I've always simply called really spectacular sex.

It's like a car wreck (slo-mo), an out of body experience, it's Tantric, it's losing your hearing for everything except your partner, it's being completely inside the connectedness.

Sometimes I think BDSM-speak is simply a way to attempt exclusivity where none exists, by the way.

And I think the terms sub & top space is a good example.

JMHO;

Lance

 

[lilredwolph]

i tremble also - i can fall asleep hours later when the trembling has eased up and end up waking myself and anyone near me up because of what i call after shocks

 

[A Desert Rose]

Thank you all

for bringing this post back up. Nice to hear from all of you.

Rose

 

[Ghost's amaris]

Re: Re: Thank you all

It's different for every person, Rose. It depends upon what makes you scared & excited, and your body's level of sensitivity. The anticipation of being blindfolded and bound can get your adrenaline flowing, start putting you into an excitable place.

Then, a long slow flogging, starting soft and building to the sting. Now your whole body is awake, all points are feeling sensation, and it's starting to be hard to tell where the blows land.

Maybe now your Dominant changes to a new kind of sensation, putting on clamps, playing with fire and ice, using a more directed sensation/percussion toy like a light cane. Always, there are voice commands, possibly verbal cues to set a mental frame (like verbal humiliation), and some words of soothing to follow down the rabbit hole.

Soon, the world narrows to the voice, the sensations, and the hands and body that deliver both.

This is so true it is so different for everyone. The ways to get to subspace vary to the number of subs there are. I does completely depend on that sub and what will give her what it takes for her and the only way for them to really find out is to explore it with there Master or a Dom they respect and trust.

Ghost's amaris

 

[Ghost's amaris]

The only thing i want to add is this.

Just was subspace is will vary from sub to sub.

For me subspace is a deep sensual place. I am more intuned with my feelings and emotions yet I loose what is going on around me. i can feel everything, hear only my Master, I can loose my voice all together as I now have a physical sign for my safety word do to loss of speech. Master and I learned this was needed with exploration because he has stopped when i wanted him to keep going because i couldnt speek. Sometimes i dont hear him but I know he is there by the touch of a hand. It is a place that i release everything that has been bottled up inside me.

Ghost's amaris

 

[UCE]

Where is subspace for me? Nowhere. It's a place my master doesn't like me going to, he likes me right there with him the whole time, so he pulls me out if he catches me going spacey on him. Mean, ain't he?

 

[UCE]

Talking about subspace, you say:

It's better than drugs.

Um... which drugs? Actually, what I want--but never get--is subspace AND good drugs. I wonder if I should go on strike?

Unda

PS: People here keep mentioning LasVegas in their messages. I know a wonderful, wise, experienced submissive from LasVegas who is a lot of fun. I wonder if I should tell her about this forum? For all I know, she may already be here. She tends to have a radar for kinky places.

Gothic Feeties:

 

[Red Menace]

Ummmm....

Where is subspace for me? Nowhere. It's a place my master doesn't like me going to, he likes me right there with him the whole time, so he pulls me out if he catches me going spacey on him. Mean, ain't he?

That's sort of like pulling out right before an orgasm and denying the climax.

Sub space is the only was I can even think about letting Sir do some of the things to me that He does. For me, it's His voice. Just this morning He was giving me a particularly hard and long spanking and I wriggling around just trying to endure it. He started talking to me... I have no idea what He was saying... and I started to drift. Suddenly the spanking didn't seem hard enough and I wanted more. I could feel His energy and I know He was feeding off mine. When He was done, I just laid across His lap for another half hour, all dazed and floaty-feeling. In those moments, He truly does own me.

 

[NemoAlia]

Too little, too late, two links:

Sub-Space begun by SirRobert on 05-03-2002
Sub Space begun Snazzona on 07-06-2002

 

[MsWorthy]

I use *subspace* to mean two different states.

~Perhaps I shouldn't do that as it seems to confuse others~

One is sexual; the other is completely a head space.

The sexual one is much as was described by Willow and Risa. I do believe that this *space* is attainable by anyone, not just submissives, as it has more to do with intense intimacy, complete trust and safety, and everything clicking just right . . . a perfect sexual connection.

I have had this experience of altered reality during sex. I lost all awareness of my physical surroundings, my name, my separateness, my physical boundaries, and my partner as a separate entity. Everything seemed to exist simply to further my pleasure.

I felt that I was floating in a silky, liquid warmth, or floating on a cloud on a warm spring morning. All of my senses seemed dulled and sharper at the same time. I was unable to speak and it was difficult to decipher/understand words spoken to me (my partner knows not to speak to me when this happens. To pull me from this space before I am ready to fall back into reality, is unpleasant).

This is the same or very similar experience my partner describes as (sexual) subspace. Only, there is a twist for her. During this experience, she tells me she is overwhelmed with feelings of submission. She believes that she is experiencing these feelings because I want her to have them and I have created them in her; she has no control over them.

The other state that I label subspace is a head space and it is the same type of focused thinking, relating, and experiencing reality - that I call top space, only experienced from the other side.

Top space, for me, is a sharply focused, concentrated mindset in which I am all-powerful. I can create any atmosphere, command any service, do any thing that I desire (limits are ingrained, with no need to remind myself of them). My partner is at my disposal and I objectify her as my desires dictate. This is a head space that I must attain in order to role-play, or engage in other so-called scening in which my partner wants/needs to feel used, and the only way I can allow myself the pleasure of objectifying her, without the guilt that would follow such an act in mainstream/nilla sexual intimacy.

This is very similar to what my partner describes as sub[head]space. Except, of course, it is from the other perspective in role-play and scene play.

Her focus is less sharp because of the need for complete flexiblity. She must be able to smoothly transition from nasty little-girl-who-is being forced but secretly likes what is happening to her - to servant. But, this head space is vital for the role-play/scene to work. She must feel that she is being used, that she is submitting to my desires. Therefore, she must alter her own reality and believe that I am using her without her consent or compelling her to serve me because I demand it.

This results in an altered, focused head space in which she truly feels what she wants to feel (that she is being used and controlled) without feeling embarrassed about being objectified. She is submitting. She has no choice. She also has no responsibility for the sexual pleasure her body is experiencing or the pleasure she receives from eroticizing service (pampering/cooking/bathing/feeding me). This is being done to her, or she can not resist obeying. This is how she truly feels (what she believes) when she is in subspace.

The sexual head space is attained by letting go, trusting, and excellent matching of what you want to feel and having someone supply you with those sensations.

The second (top) head space is attained by concentration, focus, and a desire to allow this part of me to take over (with opportunity, time, and environment falling into place). Once you have experienced this head space, it becomes easier to reach because you know what you are aiming for.

Sub[head]space, for my partner, begins with a desire to be used, to be surrounded by my will, my power. Once she begins to fall into this altered reality, a little focus is used to filter these experiences so that they are erotic rather than disrespectful (as they would be under other circumstances). This allows her to free this part of herself. The part that enjoys/eroticizes being objectified.

Subspace and top space are selective mindsets and a consciously altered reality.

Hope that helps. ~smiles~

 

[NemoAlia]

Wow, MsW! Eloquent as only you can be.

I wish I had something so compelling to offer here.

 

[Charlotte K.]

That place you all speak of is very real to me.

I meditate deeply for hours on end and sychronise all parts of my being and reach that state everyday.I have even created a plane on which to reside while in this state.

It is a wonderful feeling of being one with self, sewn into the tapestry of the world and yet a single definite and beautiful being.

It is called omni by some as this is the time when your senses meld into one heigtening your awareness.

It is pleasant and beautiful. And overall it purifies the soul and cleanses the mind.

Also this can be shared...my kitten and do it as we mediatate and during sexual play and especially when we cuddle or listen to music.


We often also play in our 'innerspace' that's all in the mind and that's were it gets wild and very sensual as well.

 

[MsWorthy]

Wow, MsW! Eloquent as only you can be.

I wish I had something so compelling to offer here.

Thank you, Nemo ~smiles~

 

[nali]

Subspace and stuff

As a sidenote, an interesting effect of subspace on me is I get the shakes. Scares the heck out of my partners sometimes to see me dissolve into trembles, but never fails...when I hit subspace, I get the trembles, and they don't fade for hours after. Yum. [/B]

You get the shakes as a physical reaction to the chemicals dissipating in your body. Physically, subspace is the release of endorphins into your system that allows your body to withstand increased pain, stress and other outside influences. The shakes afterwards generally occur because as the endorphines leave the body, they cause a drop in your bloodsugar.


nali

 

[A Desert Rose]

Good Lord MsWorthy

What a great post. Thank you.

 

[~Dream~]

originally posted by MsWorthy:
have had this experience of altered reality during sex. I lost all awareness of my physical surroundings, my name, my separateness, my physical boundaries, and my partner as a separate entity. Everything seemed to exist simply to further my pleasure.

I felt that I was floating in a silky, liquid warmth, or floating on a cloud on a warm spring morning. All of my senses seemed dulled and sharper at the same time. I was unable to speak and it was difficult to decipher/understand words spoken to me (my partner knows not to speak to me when this happens. To pull me from this space before I am ready to fall back into reality, is unpleasant).

** This is what I feel myself when ever Master and I have "played or He has given me multiple orgasms,I just lift off the ground into never-never land ,so "spent' so Lost' twirling ,caught up inthe "ectsacy' never wanna come back dowm ,just reaching that HIGHEST STATE of pleasure imaginable .. THAT is My "subspace" No one else has ever ever made me Feel so out of control yet so calm & happy at the same time..

 

[lillum]

ahhhhh, subspace....



And oh did I want more. My trembling fingers loosened their grip on the pillow, my body relaxed...submitted...to the scene. Not to him...no, I was not submitting to him, for our relationship was not one where that submission was appropriate at that time. I was submitting to where he was taking me, the first step into a space I didn't believe in, to a pain that I couldn't tolerate, and an implement that I didn't understand. He had no idea what he was doing to me, no idea just how much of a virgin I was not only to the cane, but to the space he was leading me to. I didn't tell him. Not just yet.

I barely noticed the preparation for the second stroke, but felt the impact to my ass, spreading like wildfire to my mind where I embraced it, cradled it with my submission. Again, and again...pauses to switch canes that I was dimly aware of, occasionally nodding to a murmured inquiry that I didn't understand and had no need to, the reassurance of his presence WITH me was all I needed. Each stroke was a spark of acceptance; accepting the pain, the lingering burn, accepting my loss of control, letting my grip on reality slide, and submitting not to Him, not to the cane, but to myself.

I was in subspace and I didn't even know it. [/i]

Reading back on that now, after experiencing subspace quite a few times since then, I have to say that nothing that I've experienced or explored since has left as positive of am impact on me (no pun intended) as my discovery of subspace.

Seri so well put that I can not add much more.The feeling of hanging on to the edge of a cliff and letting go you can fly with total freedom...lillum

 

[serijules]

Seri so well put that I can not add much more.The feeling of hanging on to the edge of a cliff and letting go you can fly with total freedom...lillum

Thanks lillum, and I agree, it's incredibly free-ing.

Great to see you here, seems we both got tired of the same issues 'elsewhere'.