subs with Couples

[collector_guide]

My wife and I have always liked the idea of bringing another sub girl into the bedroom/ maybe into the relationship. It's something we've brushed against with a few friends and a couple near misses with some girls. She knows she's bisexual, and wants to include the bdsm element with anyone we include. Whether she would take the role of alpha slave, fellow sub, or even want to be dominated by both of us has really depended on how she connects with the woman. Also we figure how close the other sub is to us ranging from playmate to someone with us as a pair of mentors to really deep friendship will also depend on how and how well we connect with her.

Right now it's just and idea. But I'm curious from any subs who have been with couples, or any couples who were with a sub what their experience was like. Was it positive or negative for you) What did you want to get out of it, and what did you? How did it start and end? And any insight or advice you have.

 

[digittwitch]

When I was in college I earned some extra money doing research for a local writer. His wife and I got along really well, and over the course of a couple of weeks it became clear that all three of us were fairly open minded individuals.
We started with a lovely night in bed, all equals and enjoying, but even then he did a bit of spanking, her a bit of hair pulling, and we just all very quickly found our places with me submissive to both of them equally.
It was just what I needed at a time when I still needed some urging to come out of my own fears and doubts, all very natural and changing according to our moods and needs. They were 100% supportive of however I felt about what use they put me to. One day I would be bound and spanked, the next he would be very kindly giving me fatherly advice on career goals. When his book was done and they were preparing to move out of the country we had another somewhat-vanilla night, much kisses and hugs all around.

 

[CutieMouse]

In kinky-speak, you sound like you're looking for a "unicorn".

I'd suggest learning all you can about polyamory, make dure your relationship is rock solid, and be prepared to bring a hell of a lot to the bargaining table when you find her. Joining an established couple isn't always a bag if jelly beans, and there are a LOT of kinky people looking for the same thing you are.

 

[Bramblethorn]

My wife and I have always liked the idea of bringing another sub girl into the bedroom/ maybe into the relationship. It's something we've brushed against with a few friends and a couple near misses with some girls. She knows she's bisexual, and wants to include the bdsm element with anyone we include. Whether she would take the role of alpha slave, fellow sub, or even want to be dominated by both of us has really depended on how she connects with the woman. Also we figure how close the other sub is to us ranging from playmate to someone with us as a pair of mentors to really deep friendship will also depend on how and how well we connect with her.

Right now it's just and idea. But I'm curious from any subs who have been with couples, or any couples who were with a sub what their experience was like. Was it positive or negative for you) What did you want to get out of it, and what did you? How did it start and end? And any insight or advice you have.

Like Cutiemouse said, the supply/demand relationship is not on your side. That said, I think that "depends on how we connect with her" is a good start. A lot of 'unicorn chasers' have a very detailed idea of exactly what their unicorn will be doing for them, without considering that she might also want some say in the shape of the relationship.

I've been in a couple of triad situations, each with my partner and a mutual girlfriend (one with sub tendencies, the other a switch). In both cases, they were good friends who we'd known for a while before the relationship turned sexual.

The first one drifted into a 'V' fairly quickly (not due to lack of attraction, more due to incompatible communication styles). It's still going twelve years later, although long distance means we don't see one another nearly as often as we'd like.

The second remained as a triad for about four years, but for most of that time it was less of a three-person relationship and more like three two-person relationships, if that makes sense. We did have several fun occasions with all three of us in a bed (or four, when our GF's partner was around) but most of the time we related to one another as couples. It ended falling apart very messily; I'm not going to dig up the gory details, but I don't think it was the BDSM side that caused problems.

 

[collector_guide]

So it sounds like it was positive for most everyone; individualsand couples included. Again while we don't know specifically what will happen until we meet the girl and connect with her, but I appreciate everyone's insight.

 

[BrightlyGo]

The harmony I brought to their household was one of making sure all the chores got done, so there was no work left to bicker over who had to do it or when. It sounds small. It felt small. I was told that with both of them working it made a huge difference.

Homemaker is not a small thing.