Submitting/Editing help please?

[JamesTDH]

Hi, I'm just trying to submit my first story, but having some difficulties.

I do a lot of reading and some proofreading and editing myself, so I felt fairly confident that my work was up to standard. However I've tried a couple of time to submit this story, and I get the same message:

"Please fix the punctuation of your dialogue. The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions."

Now I'm pretty happy with all the punctuation, I can't find anything wrong, and neither can the grammar checker in Word.

Is this a common thing, with a particular type of punctuation it doesn't like, or am I, and Microsoft, just inept?

Any ideas or help would be fabulous, thank you. James.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Hi, I'm just trying to submit my first story, but having some difficulties.

I do a lot of reading and some proofreading and editing myself, so I felt fairly confident that my work was up to standard. However I've tried a couple of time to submit this story, and I get the same message:

"Please fix the punctuation of your dialogue. The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions."

Now I'm pretty happy with all the punctuation, I can't find anything wrong, and neither can the grammar checker in Word.

Is this a common thing, with a particular type of punctuation it doesn't like, or am I, and Microsoft, just inept?

Any ideas or help would be fabulous, thank you. James.

giz a look at it?

 

[JamesTDH]

giz a look at it?

Absolutely!


As Saturday came, I knew we would be up early to get to the beach and grab a nice spot before it got too busy. It was August, if you weren’t there early, you ended up cramped in a nasty corner, far from the water and right next to the car park. In fact we were very early, we arrived about 6am. At this time fully clothed, but I was looking forward to spending the day looking at your fantastic curvy figure in a swim suit. You’d already told me that although I was as your slave whilst setting up and clearing away at the end of the day, the middle of the day I was free to do whatever I wished. I was looking forward to spending a lovely day enjoying your companionship.

Sure enough, we arrived and you ordered me to unload the car and follow you across the beach. You chose a nice quiet spot near the dunes, but still with plenty to see when the beach got busy. It took two trips to get everything there, what with the food cooler, windbreak and even a bucket and spade! Soon I had an umbrella and the windbreak set up, with a place for you beside them and everything in easy reach.

“Once last thing” You say, “I want a hole dug here” indicating the spot where I was expecting you to sunbathe. “Two and a half foot deep, and two foot square.”

I quietly think “mine is not to reason why, mine is but to do or….probably get a nasty punishment later!” and start digging. It’s hard work but eventually I’m done, a big pile of sand beside the hole.

“Now, pass me the spade and climb in and kneel” You tell me. Well, I’ll soon be on my free time so I get on with it. Now you open the bag nearest you and pull out all sorts of things. You quickly bind my arms behind me, and my ankles to my thighs as I kneel.

“Hey, I though I could do whatever I wanted today” I argue.

You hush me with a finger to my lips and say “Of course you can my little darling; you just won’t have much of a choice to choose between.” You laugh and then bend me forward and ease a remotely controlled butt plug into me. With plenty of lubrication you get it seated well into me and then push me back against the back of the hole. A final touch is a pair of fairly blunt nipple clamps. That worries me, I think you intend for them stay on for sometime. There are also wires trailing from them out of the hole. At this point you start to shovel sand back into the hole, patting it down tightly and encasing me completely. By the time the whole pile has been evened out level, just the very top of my face is sticking out of the sand; my chin, mouth, nose, eyes and forehead clear. My lips, my tongue and my eyelids are the only muscles that I can move, the sand is packed so tightly. You clear a little space by my ear, and insert an earphone. Now I can hear clearly, you must have a microphone somewhere.

The next thing I see is a shadow and then all light is blocked out as you lie down to start sunbathing. It’s eight o’clock now and warm enough that you’ve stripped down to your bikini. You’re lying right on top of me, and judging by the sexy aroma, your pussy is right on top of my face.

“This is where you get to choose what you do” Your gorgeous sexy whisper is clear in my ear. “Be good, and I’ll be nice to you”, I feel the butt plug start to vibrate inside me. “Be bad, and I won’t be so nice”. With these words I feel a tingling and then a sharp pain in my nipples. You’ve got an electric charge hooked to the clamps so you can give me shocks.

I quickly make my decision, and start tongueing your slit through the bikini material. You roll to the side just enough to ease the patch of cloth to the side, then roll back to smother my face with your crotch, just lifting occasionally to let me breath. That’s it for the next fifteen minutes until I feel you stiffen and come, pushing down hard on my face until I have barely any breath left. All this time you have been playing with the controls in your hand, randomly exciting me or shocking me as you wish.

A while later you roll over and I briefly feel the sun on my face, before you rest your gorgeous behind on me face instead. You settle my nose in your bum crack, allowing me just enough space to breath. I can feel your fabulous arse all over my face. I breathe in as deeply as possible, smelling your skin and your juices which are still on my face.

“Comfy down there are we pet?” You ask in the microphone. I make as positive a sound as possible, and extend my tongue into your butt crack to try to please you. You reward me by telling me how sexy that feels and turning the butt plug up a notch.

I can’t follow time but a while later, I hear male voices through the
ear plug. I guess the beach is getting quite busy now with people walking past. All they can see is a beautiful woman sunbathing on her own. Suddenly the voices get much louder and I hear a distinct question

“Hello Gorgeous, all on your own? How about a swim?” A man is asking you. I don’t blame him. I know you look absolutely stunning in the bikini, and you look as though you’re here all on your own.

“Well there’s an interesting offer...” I hear you reply. You send a shock to my nipples to make sure I’m listening. “Who’s asking? Just you, or both of your friends as well?” You ask him.

I hear a laugh, “All of us I guess. What do you think?

“Just give me a minute” You reply, “Go ahead and I’ll join you in a bit.”

“Sounds good, we’ll see you soon” is the last I hear from the stranger.

I can’t believe you might leave me here like this and wander off with some men you’ve just met. My mind is still panicking when you move to the side and look down at me. God it’s wonderful to see your face, but there’s a very mischievous grin on your face.

“Don’t go anywhere ‘til I get back” You say with a grin, and as you get up, you spread the magazine you were reading across my face to hide me.

“Ooh, I nearly forgot.” There magazine is moved and you push an inflatable gag into my mouth, making sure it sits behind my teeth. With a few quick pumps I can’t make a sound. You plant a kiss on my nose and replace the magazine. The microphone just picks up the noise of you walking away toward the water.

Tears are streaming down my face. I can’t believe my Mistress has left me like this, helpless in the middle of a public beach. Only a magazine to hide me, and a butt plug vibrating in my arse, constantly frustrating me. If the breeze picks up, my gagged face will soon be on display for everyone to see. Even worse, my Mistress has disappeared with three strange men. My mind is going mad. I can’t bear it.

Suddenly the magazine is gone and there is your face. You look at my tears and the relief in my Eyes at Your return.

“Ah, baby. You didn’t think I’d run off with those men did you? It was just another test to see how you’d do. And I’m very happy. Knowing that you were here all helpless, with no idea what I was doing. God, that made me so hot while I was out there in the water. I couldn’t stand it, I had to come back to use you again. And here you are in tears. Scared I might leave you. You are a good boy. Now eat my gorgeous pussy again, and if you can, you may come.”

You release the gag from my mouth and give me a heart stopping kiss. I nearly come immediately, but you break off and lie down over my face again. I immediately start to lick as deep as I can into your pussy, tasting your delicious juices. In response, you squirm on my face and turn the butt plug up to high. Finally, it’s enough and as you clamp down on my face I shoot come into the sand.

A While later you feed me some water through a straw, and tell me the beach is starting to clear and you’ll dig me out soon. When you do my body is so stiff it takes me a while to be able to move, but I finally manage to crawl to your feet and start to worship them, cleaning away the sand with my tongue. All I can say is “Thank You Mistress.”

You eventually release me, and order me to pack everything into the car. As we leave the beach, you stop and turn to look once more.

“I like coming to the beach. We should do it more often!”

I can’t help but agree.


Now I come to post it here, I suddenly feel it really is rather poor. Hmmm, any help with the whole thing, as well as the punctuation, would be great. Ta.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

as far as i can see, and i'm no techie on grammar and spelling etc, but a 'tidy up' could be in order. go over it from start to end and fix up any errors you spot yourself. then offer it up to an ed. maybe get rid of such huge chunks of text . . . y'know, put in some spacings and paragraphs, that kind of thing, stops it looking so heavy.

like i say, i'm not too hot on punctuation, spellings and that, but i hope what i've said helps.

 

[JamesTDH]

Thanks, I'll have another look.

Actually, in lifting it from Word and pasting here, the indents for each paragraph have all disappeared. I'll just space the paragraphs instead.

Quick edit of above....

 

[geronimo_appleby]

ah, i shoulda guessed that the copy and paste would balls things up. doh! *slaps forehead*