Submissive or Slave

[MsWorthy]

Questions for discussion:

What is the difference, in your opinion, between a submissive and a slave?

Does it make any difference which you call yourself?

Are there different expectations that come with each "role?" From the dom/me's perspective? From the sub/slave's perspective?

Do you think there are any "slaves" in the bdsm community?

In my opinion, a slave is a submissive who needs control in all areas of her/his life, and craves a TPE relationship. She/he has given the power to make choices in all areas of her life to her dominant.

I think a dominant will expect much more from a self-identified slave than she/he will from a self-identified submissive.

I think "slaves" are very rare.



*I am not suggesting that there are any "real" slaves in our country, just that a person can choose to give up all of her power until she changes her mind (for whatever reason) and leaves the M/s or TPE relationship.

What do you think?

 

[artful]

Questions for discussion:

What is the difference, in your opinion, between a submissive and a slave?

Does it make any difference which you call yourself?

Are there different expectations that come with each "role?" From the dom/me's perspective? From the sub/slave's perspective?

Do you think there are any "slaves" in the bdsm community?

In my opinion, a slave is a submissive who needs control in all areas of her/his life, and craves a TPE relationship. She/he has given the power to make choices in all areas of her life to her dominant.

I think a dominant will expect much more from a self-identified slave than she/he will from a self-identified submissive.

I think "slaves" are very rare.



*I am not suggesting that there are any "real" slaves in our country, just that a person can choose to give up all of her power until she changes her mind (for whatever reason) and leaves the M/s or TPE relationship.

What do you think?

I have a 'slave' in Dream,...but I need add also,
she has more FREEDOM than MOST 'subs'. This is a VERY difficult issue to define,...and what works between Dream and I,...wouldn't necessarily work for any OTHER relationship.

Not even myself and another 'slave', would have the SAME set of evolving rules. Relationships are SO unique in how they develope, I suspect no one can TRULY define the issue.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it !

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Submissive or Slave

. . .
Relationships are SO unique in how they develope, I suspect no one can TRULY define the issue.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it !

I agree, Art.

However, I am looking for other's definitions, not ONE definitive answer.

Thanks for posting

 

[Lancecastor]

I know this:

* vanilla women who want to be kinked out invariably say they want to be my slave.

* submissive women rarely say the word slave.

I like the word submissive better for a LTR I think; slaves are for weekends.

Me, I'm just lookin' for a nice slub.

Or something like that.

Lance

Questions for discussion:

What is the difference, in your opinion, between a submissive and a slave?

Does it make any difference which you call yourself?

Are there different expectations that come with each "role?" From the dom/me's perspective? From the sub/slave's perspective?

Do you think there are any "slaves" in the bdsm community?

In my opinion, a slave is a submissive who needs control in all areas of her/his life, and craves a TPE relationship. She/he has given the power to make choices in all areas of her life to her dominant.

I think a dominant will expect much more from a self-identified slave than she/he will from a self-identified submissive.

I think "slaves" are very rare.



*I am not suggesting that there are any "real" slaves in our country, just that a person can choose to give up all of her power until she changes her mind (for whatever reason) and leaves the M/s or TPE relationship.

What do you think?

 

[Ebonyfire]

I only have submissives right now. The depth of power exchange is not as deep as with a slave I think.

I think that a slave submissive has less control and has ceded more power to the dominant. It may include long-term chastity and orgasm denial, to forced celibacy and cuckkoldry (for male spouses).

Ebony

 

[Daedalus77]

I have always been bothered when subs say they want to be my slave. I say "a slave is property that may be traded or sold, do you agree to that?" I've never gotten a yes.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have always been bothered when subs say they want to be my slave. I say "a slave is property that may be traded or sold, do you agree to that?" I've never gotten a yes.

I agree in this sense, that there are houses in the US and in Europe where slaves can still be bought and sold.

In the sense of my type of 24/7 D/s, I would not sell my slave. he would be Mine, especially after searching for so many years to get the right one.

So I guess I mean it just depends on the circumstances.

Eb

 

[Persephone36]

A quick reply to one of your questions MsWorthy --

Now I'm just beginning to explore the *idea* of being a sub -- so I'm sure this influences things too -- because I'm not even sure I'm comfortable with that label, lol.

But I know definitely I wouldn't want to be a slave in any way, shape or form.

So since I know that intuitively -- there must be reasons inside myself as to how I define a slave.

Just to begin with -- I'm only interested in a D/s relationship in the bedroom with no S/M and only light bondage. So that separates me out to begin with. The only power exchange I'm looking for is sexually (with the sexual psychological component.)

As to the rest of how I react just about what it would mean to be a slave...I'll have to think more and get back to you on that.

P.

 

[artful]

Sis

I agree in this sense, that there are houses in the US and in Europe where slaves can still be bought and sold.

In the sense of my type of 24/7 D/s, I would not sell my slave. he would be Mine, especially after searching for so many years to get the right one.

So I guess I mean it just depends on the circumstances.

Eb

I SOOOOOOO agree with your post!

 

[~Dream~]

INTERESTING..

As far as what I consider myself,I am a submissive but,I am my Master's sex slave also but actually,i FEEL I LOVE being known as His slave because of the feeling and the actual KNOWING THAT He OWNS ME ..I dont consider this duragotary at all but very very loving and since I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE SUCH A LOVING Master anyways,it makes me personally ,feel quite special..
i do however,understand how some people if they only choose to think back to civil war times,would think that being a "slave" is a bad thing but perhaps one should try to look at it a different perspective..
I KNOW my Master cherishes me and treasures me and is ALWAYS looking out for my best interests,this is the "benefits' if you will that I enjoy as being His slave,however my being "submissive' to His will is subservient to all.. it is my wish ,my desire,to please Him as i KNOW IN THE LONG RUN,I will also be pleased..
my "submissiveness ' is my nature and HIS slave is what I CHOOSE to be

 

[A Desert Rose]

Nice explanation, Dream

It was once explained to me that a slave serves without the investment of emotion. And a sub serves to honor and please and therefore invests herself totally to her Master.
I like the idea of being a sub much better. I can be a better sub and intend to do so, under the right instruction, someday.
Being a SEX slave, is a bit of another matter to me. Only as long as I am the one and only to a one and only Dom. I don't know, maybe I am confused and confusing. LOL
I know what I mean, I think...... lol

 

[subtledecadence]

Originally posted by MsWorthy

I myself am a r/l submissive, in the "lifestyle" for 4 years. For myself, there is a distinct difference between being a submissive and being a slave. Look at the definitions of the words themselves, and I will show Y/you what I mean.

Slave: one that is in complete subservience to the Domination of Another.

Submissive: Submitting to the authority of Another.


On the one hand, you have a state of being, while on the other, you have an action. When you are a submissive, you *give* your submission, on an hourly, daily, etc. basis. As a slave, once you have *given* over your will to Another, you no longer have the option to *give* anything of yourself.

Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong

...It is only when You make me Suffer that I feel safe and secure...You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears. Anonymous

there is a pleasure that is born of pain. O Merideth

 

[MissTaken]

I like desert rose's last line:

"My submissiveness is my nature and his slave is what I chose to be."

That is a nice perspective into you, darlin'.

I am submissive.

I am not a sub. I might be a sub if I were involved with a Dom.

I am not a slave, unless it is for role playing. I believe to be a slave I would have given over all free will and decision making to my Master. In that sense, I am far too independent to be able to do so now.

However, it seems that a Master/slave relationship isn't out of the question after years of togetherness and knowing one another.

To quote Art?

That is my opinion and I own it!

 

[A Desert Rose]

My view

I respect everyone's definition of slave/sub and I find some truth and enlightenment in them all but I do still believe that emotional investement is key to the difference. Of course, this is how my mind differentiates those two words and not all of you will see it this way.
I think that a submissive has invested the emotional componants that are neccessary for her and her Dom to be pleasured and happy and complete.
Just my meek opinion

 

[A Desert Rose]

and PS

just 13 more posts and I get the little picture too!
Yipppppeeeee and BOY HOWDY!!!!!

 

[cellis]

I am submissive to Himself but I am not his slave except perhaps in the sense of a sexual slave... but there is just too much switch in me to be a slave....

 

[~Dream~]

Re: My view

I respect everyone's definition of slave/sub and I find some truth and enlightenment in them all but I do still believe that emotional investement is key to the difference. Of course, this is how my mind differentiates those two words and not all of you will see it this way.
I think that a submissive has invested the emotional componants that are neccessary for her and her Dom to be pleasured and happy and complete.
Just my meek opinion

100% of my decision is emotionally-based as I am an emotional woman ,very much so and if You do not believe that then Master could just fill ya in ,lol..
anyways ,I WANTED TO CLARIFY...I chose and CHOOSE CONTINUOUSLY to serve as His slave but my whole personality,if you will is my submissiveness..and that's NOT CHANGING,EVER..

 

[SexyChele]

My line of thinking mirrors Miss T's. Though, if things work out in the very near future, I will be able to refer to myself as some one's sub. (The "discovery" phase can be soooo exciting, sometimes!)

I would not refer to myself as "slave". And I would not appreciate my Dom calling me such. Now, role play or being at the height of a scene is very, very different. But the two words do mean different things, and, no, I am not a "slave".

 

[artful]

Just a post

I've always had trouble in expressing my thoughts and emotions with words. Too often,...Websters Dictionary and I can't seem to get it together.

The word 'slave',...in how I refer to mine and Dream's relationship,...is a "Term of Endearment",
it is the CLOSEST word to express our relationship.

It is NOT used in a DISRESPECTFUL fashion,...nor is it derogotarily used. I have NEVER used the word 'slave' in a MEAN, demeaning way when referring to HER.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Just a post

I've always had trouble in expressing my thoughts and emotions with words. Too often,...Websters Dictionary and I can't seem to get it together.

The word 'slave',...in how I refer to mine and Dream's relationship,...is a "Term of Endearment",
it is the CLOSEST word to express our relationship.

It is NOT used in a DISRESPECTFUL fashion,...nor is it derogotarily used. I have NEVER used the word 'slave' in a MEAN, demeaning way when referring to HER.

Art, I see no one here taking offense at the verbage you and dream have choosen to use between the two of you. MsWorthy was simply asking for individual's opinions, and that is what I see here. Just because one submissive dislikes the use of the word slave when referred to them, doesn't mean another submissive will.

 

[dizzylia]

Questions for discussion:

What is the difference, in your opinion, between a submissive and a slave?

Does it make any difference which you call yourself?

I believe there is definitely a difference between the two. I have rarely seen a "slave" who was truly that way by their natural characteristics rather than just a role they've chosen to play, depending on the circumstances or audience, as it were.

That holds true for myself as well. I know I am submissive, but I am nowhere near being a slave. Even if I had a Master or Mistress, I don't believe I could be true to myself and still call myself a slave. Though, that said, I have purposefully played that role from time to time when asked of me. But even then, I kept my limits, so was I really playing a slave or some pet-like submissive?

 

[artful]

Re: Re: Just a post

Art, I see no one here taking offense at the verbage you and dream have choosen to use between the two of you. MsWorthy was simply asking for individual's opinions, and that is what I see here. Just because one submissive dislikes the use of the word slave when referred to them, doesn't mean another submissive will.

I agree Chele,...it was just a post to clarify for ALL to understand our posts better.

 

[~Dream~]

being a 'slave'

BEING MASTER ARTFUL'S SLAVE WAS AND IS my DESIRE AS i feel No woman can or ever will please HIM THE WAY THAT i do and have and to me it IS A VERY ENDEARING TERM..AS I am the slave to HIS DESIRES AND AS His slave my desires are also met but by me having a devout 'submissive 'nature it only serves to add more spice to the cake..only HE has my heart ad only HE Controls my body and the heat .the passion I FEEL COMES FROM SERVING Him..

 

[catalina_francisco]

"bump"

 

[Netzach]

A slave, to me, is a person who has agreed to be, and evolved into, the property of another person. Property is the keyword in the definition for me. I cannot imagine having a strong emotional/romantic attachment to a slave in the most classic sense of the word any more than I can imagine having a romantic relationship with my car. There are very few slaves in the BDSM world, and the ones that are are more "slaves with benefits" about 99% of the time.

I have been, and could be in a M/s relationship where that dynamic might extend to a respectful friendship in public life at most, and would be limited to M/s service, discipline and use of my property as I choose.

The "slave with benefits" are the majority of extremely submissive people who are in romantic relationships with their Owners. There's a totality of ownership, but the person is not simply "my property". To me, thinking of my fiance as "my slave" changes the meaning, talks about a submissive as a life partner. I would not choose to sell, cease having sex with, or forbid this type of person from directly addressing me.

I would have no problem doing these activities with a slave where slavery is the entire basis of the relationship.

With my slave, an intellectual friendship, a sense of boundaries, a sense of purpose fueled the relationship, as though we had entered into a partnership or project on a business level. It was very satisfying, but it wasn't the ideal companionship for me 24/7 and wasn't what would bolster me in my day to day.