submissive expectations

[ImaMember]

Reading through the forum, i found that most submissives expect something in return for their submissive behavior: basically they are emotional needs which are: growth, love, reassurance, and fulfillment. For me, as a sub, i would have to agree--i am not a pure masochist who gets off on submitting to someone who doesnt love/want me; for me, i need room for growth.

But what i don't see is what a sub would expect from a Dom, in non-emotional terms. For example, do any subs hold expectations that their Dom should be motivated to Dominate and show it, have the engergy to Dominate, guide the sub in his growth, etc? Or is the only thing most subs expect is for the Dom to allow the sub to submit and nothing more?

Just a newbie who is stunted in his growth and trying to figure out where to grow....

 

[Shadowsdream]

Reading through the forum, i found that most submissives expect something in return for their submissive behavior: basically they are emotional needs which are: growth, love, reassurance, and fulfillment. For me, as a sub, i would have to agree--i am not a pure masochist who gets off on submitting to someone who doesnt love/want me; for me, i need room for growth.

But what i don't see is what a sub would expect from a Dom, in non-emotional terms. For example, do any subs hold expectations that their Dom should be motivated to Dominate and show it, have the engergy to Dominate, guide the sub in his growth, etc? Or is the only thing most subs expect is for the Dom to allow the sub to submit and nothing more?

Just a newbie who is stunted in his growth and trying to figure out where to grow....

What a wonderful post...I will be watching it carefully.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Reading through the forum, i found that most submissives expect something in return for their submissive behavior: basically they are emotional needs which are: growth, love, reassurance, and fulfillment. For me, as a sub, i would have to agree--i am not a pure masochist who gets off on submitting to someone who doesnt love/want me; for me, i need room for growth.

But what i don't see is what a sub would expect from a Dom, in non-emotional terms. For example, do any subs hold expectations that their Dom should be motivated to Dominate and show it, have the engergy to Dominate, guide the sub in his growth, etc? Or is the only thing most subs expect is for the Dom to allow the sub to submit and nothing more?

Just a newbie who is stunted in his growth and trying to figure out where to grow....

For me I knew basically what I wanted in a Dominant and went looking. I met heaps of wonderful men who were wonderful Dominants in their own right, but I held out for the one who could give me those things I felt I needed to grow and flourish....love, deep commitment as in life, dominance, strength, insight, compassion, honesty, trust, sadistic depth, intelligence, imagination, similar interests as well as some variations, extreme, and a desire to explore in preference to remaining stagnant in one D/s stylke forever. Hope you have as much success as I did in finding who makes your world sparkle that little brighter.

Catalina

 

[Krinaia]

I kept trying to think of ways in which I would expect something of my dominant that wasn't emotional or mental reassurance or guidance and I finally came up with something.


I expect him to give me pleasure. At his whim, at the time of his choosing, in the manner of his choosing. But I expect him to sate me. And to push me past my point of satisifaction wherein I will reach new levels of laying in the bed, dead to the world and happier and more sexed out then I thought possible, with his arms and legs twined in mine as I just relearn to breate. I expect that because I deserve it - because if I am not happy then the relationship isn't worth continuing to me or to him. Not to say I expect to always be happy or satisfied. I fully expect to be kept on edge, to be teased and tormented... but not forever. Eventually, he will have to see I get satisfaction.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i have needs and wants, but one thing my depression has robbed me of, thankfully i might add, are expectations. i expect nothing. i don't expect to be loved and cherished by Daddy for the rest of my life. i don't expect to be treated decently. i don't expect to be happy. i just crave those things, need those things. but expect? expectations only lead to pain.

 

[catalina_francisco]

i have needs and wants, but one thing my depression has robbed me of, thankfully i might add, are expectations. i expect nothing. i don't expect to be loved and cherished by Daddy for the rest of my life. i don't expect to be treated decently. i don't expect to be happy. i just crave those things, need those things. but expect? expectations only lead to pain.

Depression can be a kiler, and coming from one who has a long history of extreme depression, it can at times distort the way we perceive our reality and what is good for us or our perception of what we deserve. It does not have to be that way, but often it is. Some will understand, some will not, and some will seek to use it's presence in one they see they can exploit for their own gain. At those times you have to drag yourself from the depths as far as possible and find a path to a place where you can ensure your choices are made from a position of expectation and deserved outcomes. Take care.

Catalina