Submission can be Painful

[~Dream~]

I am starting this thread not so that others doubt my submission
but that hopefully so new people coming in to this lifestyle can see that it's not always wine and roses either.
Submission IS a choice..not a guarantee..once it is given ,it can be taken back ..when given to a Dom(Master),it should be received and treated as a gift,priceless,and to be carefully treasured.
As recent as today ,I have come to realize that parts of me are still not what I would term as" fully submissive"..This scares theHELL out of me..I intend to give myself and have given myself 100% to my Master as His sexually submissive slave and yet parts of me are screaming as if in rebellion about this..but NEVER my heart,my soul ..mostly just 'my pride".

Pride goeth before a fall' as the saying goes so I guess I'm in for a big fall.I'm hoping that my Master's loving arms are there to catch me..I want and NEED to learn to communicate my needs more properly and effectively,while still being respectful..when a sub DISAGREES for example on a matter with her/his Dom/me,what are the appropriate actions to take? only puppies or puppets always agree on Everything...Subs still have their OWN mind but thats what sometimes gets us into trouble too..
being respectful to Him but getting my feelings heard also is VERY VERY important to me...
Master's suggestion is always simple:"Just Submit"..sounds simple too,doesnt it? well,it's Not ..Sometimes for even as very much as I love and adore Him ,I Still struggle...does it mean I'm a Top,or that I am no longer 'submissive"? NO..or at least I sure hope not...I do not want to doubt my submissiveness,at all.
But ,just in the past couple of days I have caused my Master to,and that in itself is a VERY real HELL FOR ME. ....
I have been a 'bratty' sub and seeking to understand this is quite painful for me ..so it is NOT just as simple as the 2 words "Just Submit to me,not at all..I seek to please Him,but I strongly believe that there are times I need reassurance from not only from Him but from within myself also that THIS is the right path I have chosen ..my life feels so dead ,so empty without my submissiveess".I KNOW it's what I AM and what I desire and at times it's the most beautiful feeling in the world ..almost 99% of the time..but I'll tell You what....that 1% is painful as hell....

"Anybody else ever feel like this or am I just having an off day?"

 

[Ebonyfire]

I am starting this thread not so that others doubt my submission
but that hopefully so new people coming in to this lifestyle can see that it's not always wine and roses either.
Submission IS a choice..not a guarantee..once it is given ,it can be taken back ..when given to a Dom(Master),it should be received and treated as a gift,priceless,and to be carefully treasured.
As recent as today ,I have come to realize that parts of me are still not what I would term as" fully submissive"..This scares theHELL out of me..I intend to give myself and have given myself 100% to my Master as His sexually submissive slave and yet parts of me are screaming as if in rebellion about this..but NEVER my heart,my soul ..mostly just 'my pride".

Pride goeth before a fall' as the saying goes so I guess I'm in for a big fall.I'm hoping that my Master's loving arms are there to catch me..I want and NEED to learn to communicate my needs more properly and effectively,while still being respectful..when a sub DISAGREES for example on a matter with her/his Dom/me,what are the appropriate actions to take? only puppies or puppets always agree on Everything...Subs still have their OWN mind but thats what sometimes gets us into trouble too..
being respectful to Him but getting my feelings heard also is VERY VERY important to me...
Master's suggestion is always simple:"Just Submit"..sounds simple too,doesnt it? well,it's Not ..Sometimes for even as very much as I love and adore Him ,I Still struggle...does it mean I'm a Top,or that I am no longer 'submissive"? NO..or at least I sure hope not...I do not want to doubt my submissiveness,at all.
But ,just in the past couple of days I have caused my Master to,and that in itself is a VERY real HELL FOR ME. ....
I have been a 'bratty' sub and seeking to understand this is quite painful for me ..so it is NOT just as simple as the 2 words "Just Submit to me,not at all..I seek to please Him,but I strongly believe that there are times I need reassurance from not only from Him but from within myself also that THIS is the right path I have chosen ..my life feels so dead ,so empty without my submissiveess".I KNOW it's what I AM and what I desire and at times it's the most beautiful feeling in the world ..almost 99% of the time..but I'll tell You what....that 1% is painful as hell....

"Anybody else ever feel like this or am I just having an off day?"

Dream, always remember that no one is 100% Dom/me or sub. It is just not possible. Striving for perfection may be a lofty goal, but alas, it is an impossible one. Sometimes you just have to be you.

Eb

 

[MzChrista]

Girl, you thinking you gonna be in a short time what some people dont get to be in a lifetime.
I dont care how sub you feel, you aint gonna turn it on like a switch and thats that. Give it some time and dont be so hard on yourself. You are learning fast but you gonna have some emotional lags now and then.
just be honest how you feel with yourself and your master. Itll be all right.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Girl, you thinking you gonna be in a short time what some people dont get to be in a lifetime.
I dont care how sub you feel, you aint gonna turn it on like a switch and thats that. Give it some time and dont be so hard on yourself. You are learning fast but you gonna have some emotional lags now and then.
just be honest how you feel with yourself and your master. Itll be all right.

Well put, MzC!

Eb

 

[~Dream~]

to you both...

Well put, MzC!

Eb

Eb,also taking this time to apologize to you for calling you Sis ,in an earlier thread since as a sub I do ot have that right and it is disrespectful i my eyes to You as a Domme ..I was following what I had see my Master call you andit was wrong of me to assume I could call you that too.sorry...


MzC,as Always you seem to know just how to make me feel better
I appreciate you and your posts so very much...both of you...

 

[MzChrista]

Re: to you both...

Eb,also taking this time to apologize to you for calling you Sis ,in an earlier thread since as a sub I do ot have that right and it is disrespectful i my eyes to You as a Domme ..I was following what I had see my Master call you andit was wrong of me to assume I could call you that too.sorry...


MzC,as Always you seem to know just how to make me feel better
I appreciate you and your posts so very much...both of you...

hey dream, you know what the difference between a newbie and an experienced person is?
Experienced person had more chances to learn from mistakes.
Dont sweat the small stuff, baby, your master loves you and the two of you gonna make kinky history together.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: to you both...

hey dream, you know what the difference between a newbie and an experienced person is?
Experienced person had more chances to learn from mistakes.
Dont sweat the small stuff, baby, your master loves you and the two of you gonna make kinky history together.

Dream, you can call me Eb or Sis. I am not your Domme, and we are equals.

Eb

 

[cymbidia]

Submission IS a choice..not a guarantee..once it is given ,it can be taken back ..when given to a Dom(Master),it should be received and treated as a gift,priceless,and to be carefully treasured.

The offering of one's submission to a particular dominant is a choice we can make, yes.

Being a submissive is not so often something we choose. Rather, it chooses us. It calls to us sometime in our lives, in the heat of fevered dreams, perhaps, and it whispers you belong here..it is here you will find fulfillment, understanding, completion, utter peace...come to me...learn...

Submission is a lifestyle, a love style, a play style, a choice, sometimes, and a core set of personally defined characteristics. It's not the same for you, dream, as it is for me. It's not the same for me as it is for Risia.

Submission is exceedingly individual for us all - within a relationship and inside our the sanctity of our own minds and hearts, too.

As recent as today ,I have come to realize that parts of me are still not what I would term as" fully submissive"..

Yeh. Me, too. At least according to this persons over here and that other person over there - and that website, well, in that website they list characteristics of a "natural" submissive and i miss that by a mile too.

See where i'm going with this, dream?

It doesn't fucking matter at all whether "parts of you" are or are not "fully submissive" unless those parts that are in rebellion and/or won't fucking fly straight are causing you or your dominant some kinda distress. In other words, there’s no blueprint that outlines a plan for building the perfect submissive. We're all different. You gotta stop beating yourself up over this one, dear. This one's a non-issue.

I intend to give myself and have given myself 100% to my Master as His sexually submissive slave

I think you bring a refreshing level of newness and naiveté to our discussions, dream, but on this one i gotta be really blunt.

This is just total fantasy player stuff.

None of us gives ourselves 100% all the time. It's just not possible. We're not psychologically capable of giving ourselves to another human being 100% all the time - *especially* sexually.

We'll always have needs and desires of our own. We'll always have a preference for the cotton sheets instead of the flannel sheets or ass fucking instead of riding the dildo or deep gasping kisses instead of soft quick wet pecks all over our necks. We're not people who are completely without an identity, dream, and that what one would have to be in order to give of oneself 100% all the time.

And our dominants don't want that ego-less ghost, either. They want us to be ourselves - strong, proud, tender, sexual, opinionated, daring, fuckable, a lady, whatever however whenever. Right?

And now we come to the heart of the matter...

I want and NEED to learn to communicate my needs more properly and effectively,while still being respectful..when a sub DISAGREES for example on a matter with her/his Dom/me,what are the appropriate actions to take?

1. You take a deep steadying breath.

2. You determine if the conversation that needs to take place is something you have to have right now or if it should wait until another time.

For instance, would your words cause your Master some embarrassment because people are present? Yes? Then you might consider waiting.

If, however, your Master has just given you to an acquaintance for a round of wild ass-whipping and you do not want to go and are afraid to go for some reason then you gotta fall back on that old "what's my highest obligation?" question. (For all of us, our highest obligation, in my eyes, is to give our dominant partner our truth all the time. If we do not trust them with our truth, all the time, in all ways, at all times, then we are doubting and handicapping them as dominants.) If you need to talk to him right now, then you simply look at him and ask to speak plainly. and then you say the words, speak your trouble, without a lot of goose-stepping around the issue. Just spit it out. Trust him to make sense of it, to ask you questions until he understands the problem - and to choose what's best for you both.

3. You tell him your truth - the good and the bad and the ugly parts of it - all the time. If you disagree with something he’s decreed, then you offer him that, too, just as you would offer him praises for something good. It’s not up to us to choose when we're going to be honest. We're just honest. All the time. About all the stuff.

You say, "May i speak plainly?"
He allows it or asks you to wait until the two of you gets home or for another 15 minutes. Just asking to speak plainly should send up red flags to him, actually, and he'll WANT to know why you're uncomfy.

And when he tells you speak your mind, then you do. Without a bunch of tripping over your words, too. You owe him your truth in an easy to understand manner. It's our duty to them, our dominants, our most basic and highest duty - the telling of our truth.

Master's suggestion is always simple:"Just Submit"..sounds simple too,doesnt it? well,it's Not ..Sometimes for even as very much as I love and adore Him ,I Still struggle...does it mean I'm a Top,or that I am no longer 'submissive"?

As long as you know you're being heard, you can accept whatever your dominant decides, i think. The trouble comes in not feeling as if you're being heard.

Perhaps a tactic like this: I intend to submit, i want to submit, i need to please you in this way, Master, but i am still restless and disturbed. Please, can we talk this through some more? I am most troubled by this part...

Bottom line: on occasion, our dominant will make a decision that we would not make - and we're honor bound to obey. If, however, that decision will force us to violate one of our basic human principles (stupid example: Go kill that man, slave. He just took the last jar of instant coffee in the store) then we HAVE to object. (I'm sorry, Master, i will not kill that man. Thou shalt not kill, remember?)

If our dominant seems to make a lot of decisions that result in our feeling we're being constantly coerced into doing stuff we'd really rather not do, then it's probably time for another really intensive heart-to-heart talk about expectations and needs.

Does this make any sense at all?

but I strongly believe that there are times I need reassurance from not only from Him but from within myself also that THIS is the right path I have chosen
<snip>
"Anybody else ever feel like this or am I just having an off day?"

We all need that kinda reassurance at times. Every single one of us, no matter what side of the flogger we're on, and especially when we're new to all this. While you might be having an off day, your concerns aren't without validity.

Self-doubt and introspective questioning of our motivations and disjoint needs are how we grow stronger and more centered, dream, all of us.

In other words, keep asking questions.
It's how you'll grow.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Intended as food for thought, not to "butt into" your relationship...

As recent as today ,I have come to realize that parts of me are still not what I would term as" fully submissive"..This scares theHELL out of me..I intend to give myself and have given myself 100% to my Master as His sexually submissive slave and yet parts of me are screaming as if in rebellion about this..but NEVER my heart,my soul ..mostly just 'my pride".

It's perfectly natural, dream, to have rebellious thoughts or even temporarily lose the thread which sends tendrils of your submission through every aspect of your life. I think that at one time or another everybody has experienced some form of this. Sure, there's probably an element of pride informing what you've callled your "brattiness," but there's also probably a little self-doubt in there, a little need for reassurance and guidance from your Dominant. And, there's the inexperience factor making it more difficult to know how seriously to take any claims that you're somehow failing in your submission. But, I think there's something else going on here too that might shed a different light on things.

This is all still kinda new and overwhelming to/for/in you, and the emotional process of coming to terms with your submission is difficult to experience, let alone trying to express the whole confusing mixture of feelings and thoughts to someone else. Sometimes, especially when we're scared or lacking in confidence or confused by apparently contradictory feelings, words fail us and lose their effectiveness as a way for Dom and sub to communicate and negotiate. I think when that happens, it's common to "act out" in ways that make our uncertainty obvious--like willfulness or even small acts of defiance. After all, isn't behaving in a way that one knows will irritate their Dominant just another way of asking the Dom to help you through the crisis by reaffirming their control?

Pride goeth before a fall' as the saying goes so I guess I'm in for a big fall.I'm hoping that my Master's loving arms are there to catch me..I want and NEED to learn to communicate my needs more properly and effectively,while still being respectful..when a sub DISAGREES for example on a matter with her/his Dom/me,what are the appropriate actions to take? only puppies or puppets always agree on Everything...Subs still have their OWN mind but thats what sometimes gets us into trouble too..
being respectful to Him but getting my feelings heard also is VERY VERY important to me...

As it should be--who wants a sub without a personality or thoughts of their own? How boring that would be...

Remember, though, communication is also an open-ended learning process. You're learning how to trust your bond to Artful enough to express your needs with real emotional honesty that represents the full you--including, but not only, your submission--and doesn't lapse into manipulative half-truths that come from pride and the other defensive barriers that we throw up when we feel vulnerable and are scared. But, Artful's learning too, and you need each other at every step of the path you're on--don't lose sight of that. Don't dwell on criticism or negativity to the extent that you retreat from each other.

Here's what I mean: When he questions your submission (etc), keep in mind that He's Dom, not omniscient. He's learning to trust your relationship enough to "read between the lines" and understand the full register of what you communicate through both word and deed--what you do and don't talk about, where your emotional "hot buttons" are and how you respond to them, the possibilities and limits of your behavior as evidence of your loving submission, and what all of that says about who you *really* are and what you *really* need from him as the Dominant charged with the awesome responsibility of accepting your full submission to His loving control.

Master's suggestion is always simple:"Just Submit"..sounds simple too,doesnt it? well,it's Not ..Sometimes for even as very much as I love and adore Him ,I Still struggle...does it mean I'm a Top,or that I am no longer 'submissive"?

The words are simple--the continual process of living the words is not. No matter how true the submission in your heart, it's never over; you're never done choosing to give up control and trust your Dom--you have to reaffirm that choice continually, consent to your submission again and again, every day. That's true for everyone, hon. Have a little faith in your Master, dream--he knows it's not as simple as the words "just submit" sound. So, look for what those words mean for your relationship: turn *to* him, not away--let him help you figure all of this out. Put all these fears and questions that you've got in His hands and "just submit" by letting him guide you through making sense of it all. At least, that's what I'd hope to do in the same circumstances--so, you know, take that for what it's worth. (Not a whole lot, in other words)

I do not want to doubt my submissiveness,at all.
But ,just in the past couple of days I have caused my Master to,and that in itself is a VERY real HELL FOR ME. ....
I have been a 'bratty' sub and seeking to understand this is quite painful for me ..so it is NOT just as simple as the 2 words "Just Submit to me,not at all..I seek to please Him,but I strongly believe that there are times I need reassurance from not only from Him but from within myself also that THIS is the right path I have chosen ..my life feels so dead ,so empty without my submissiveess".I KNOW it's what I AM and what I desire and at times it's the most beautiful feeling in the world ..almost 99% of the time..but I'll tell You what....that 1% is painful as hell....

"Anybody else ever feel like this or am I just having an off day?" [/B]

LOTS of people have felt like this, dream--including me, when I was first finding my sexual self and the submissive half of it in my first BDSM relationship, and on and off for a long time afterwards. You're not alone.

If he's questioning your submission, dream, I'd bet my bottom dollar that the question and his disapproval isn't directed at the contents of your heart but the fragility and limits of your trust in Him. Doms have emotional needs and desire reassurance also, you know--and subs fulfill them by learning what their particular Dominant requires to trust the submissive and *feel* the depth of their control and its basis in the sub's trust, love, and respect for them as people first and Dominants second.

Just my $.02, speaking as a friendly outside observer.

Chin up, dream. It's all part of the deal.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Artful's dream, I think it is natural and normal to have doubts and fears when begining any relationship. When you factor in the trust and faith that must exist in any D/s relationship, I would expect those feelings to be more powerful and present. I agree with the others who have posted before me. The only way that your Master will know how you are feeling is by telling him. Trust him to understand.
As a Domme, I have doubtful days. I think that is part of being human. Or perhaps part of being woman.


Helena

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Dream, I have to agree with these before me on everything they have said. I only wish to add one thing. I think that maybe your doubts are also because you aren't physically with Artful right now. Having had that special skin to skin time with him, and now being back by yourself isn't easy. Any LDR isn't easy, but I just have to assume that a D/s LDR is even harder.

Keep the faith Dream and know that things will work out for the best.


dixi

 

[~Dream~]

Dixie..

Dream, I have to agree with these before me on everything they have said. I only wish to add one thing. I think that maybe your doubts are also because you aren't physically with Artful right now. Having had that special skin to skin time with him, and now being back by yourself isn't easy. Any LDR isn't easy, but I just have to assume that a D/s LDR is even harder.

Keep the faith Dream and know that things will work out for the best.


dixi

thank-you sweety,but if the feelings dont count as much as the Control does..I'M not sure anymore...I know I love Master more than anything,but He KNOWS that when we DONT communicate..it's like a knife in my heart..all day I have been accused of "trying to "TOP' ..dO YOU WANNA know how much I HATE that word now? <======================>>>>>>
that much!! I am frustrated as hell cause I Do miss Him ,terribly omg ,do I EVER!! it is tearig me up iside and coupled with the fact that every time we DISAGREE on an issue ,He seems to jump to the "conclusio" that weare arguing"? maybe I should just go to bed,but unlike Master..I cant just leave it like this..His only way of "disciplining me is to shut off messenger..and God does it ever hurt when He does!!

 

[mskittykatt]

Dream, I have to agree with these before me on everything they have said. I only wish to add one thing. I think that maybe your doubts are also because you aren't physically with Artful right now. Having had that special skin to skin time with him, and now being back by yourself isn't easy. Any LDR isn't easy, but I just have to assume that a D/s LDR is even harder.

Keep the faith Dream and know that things will work out for the best.


dixi

Dream,
Dixi has a very important point here. I spent time online with my honey before we met... time together and then almost 3 months apart, where our future hung on honest discussion and a lot of emotional work together. Give yourself and Artful a chance - tell him your deepest truths no matter how scared you are and trust in the universe to care for your every need. be prepared to hear his truth and keep working towards the next time you will be together in person. these will be hard times - but if you work through them together it will be a good foundation.

 

[~Dream~]

Dream,
Dixi has a very important point here. I spent time online with my honey before we met... time together and then almost 3 months apart, where our future hung on honest discussion and a lot of emotional work together. Give yourself and Artful a chance - tell him your deepest truths no matter how scared you are and trust in the universe to care for your every need. be prepared to hear his truth and keep working towards the next time you will be together in person. these will be hard times - but if you work through them together it will be a good foundation.

_______________________________________________
mskittycat,
thank you for your words but alas ,I fear I have forgotten HOW to communicate..EVERYTHING cannot Always be 'As You wish Master"
even tho it does please Him AND me to utter those words cause I truly MEAN them...for instance He mentioned to me He is NOT interested in a ROLE-PLAY sub as they are a dime a dozen...something I ALREADY knew as a matter of fact..I DID OT ad STILL do NOT see the point of Him SAYING that to me..I said it was hurtful..it was..STILL is..why? cause it makes me feel that He sees me as so....would anybody else take it like that? maybe-maybe not..after I told my Master I really need for Him to "hear me" ie..MY very REAL feelings cause"I felt they were being thrown on the ground" He asked how/ after 1st stating to me"not by me"

I brought up the role/play statement and it just went downhill from there..I asked Him ,point-blank ..how do You feel about me Master?no.I asked'How do You see me cause if You do not know,then how the hell can I?
He answered me again with a question? lots "What DO you want from me? when today,yesterday,tomorrow?"
THAT was NOT what I needed to hear at all in the very REAL,very insecure state I currently find myself in..
He then stated that I had been
'topping' all day!
I DID NOT feel after THAT statement ,which He also felt necessary to add was HIS TRUE OPINION..that I could talk to Him anymore..
he said I will talk to you tomorrow then ,my love ,left me alone in messenger to rant,rave and vent..full of venom ..anger..unresolved..lonely

 

[A Desert Rose]

Get out the clubs

and beat me over the head for saying this but, He knows how to push your buttons, Doll.

Love ya,
Rose

 

[A Desert Rose]

And might I add, a good Dom should know how.
Love,
Rose

 

[Guest]

artful is an asshole.

he brings a succession of subs here all professing undying love for him (how are wish and pet at the moment?) and then they disappear.

dream, you're sweet, you really are. your devotion to him and your yearning to be submissive is good to see. i just cant help thinking you chose a wrong one.

He sulks when he doesnt get his own way, and as for the thing about Ebonyfire? like the woman said, for christ sake this isn't bdsm chat room style, as long as you're polite dom/sub status should mean nada here.

just be careful. dont give your heart to someone who accuses you of not being submissive enough when you have your own opinion.

 

[willfulbrat]

...I KNOW it's what I AM and what I desire and at times it's the most beautiful feeling in the world ..almost 99% of the time..but I'll tell You what....that 1% is painful as hell....

"Anybody else ever feel like this or am I just having an off day?"

You're not the only one, dream. Indeed, submission can be extremely painful. I wish i could give you some good advice, but i'm struggling with some of the same things right now. So the best i can do is commiserate.

Thank goodness we have a place to go for support and advice.

 

[cellis]

It seems to me that there are a couple of issues involved here, dream....

First, there is an issue of communication. Because Art doesn't respond the way you want or need him to doesn't mean that he is not hearing you and listening to you.

Secondly, there is the issue of your desire to be perfect for Art. Honey, it just is not going to happen... we are humans and we are not infallible... we make mistakes... that's what we do.

Thirdly, and perhaps what I would consider to be my most important observation... the relationship has to come first... before the "on your knees" "Yes Master" stuff. Working on a relationship when you live in the same city is hard enough, but a LDR is most difficult.

Take a few steps back... look at what is really going on with you and Art...

Look at your relationship and what that is and what it means to the two of you...

Look at yourself, dream... what is in your best interest? That always has to be the question... What is best for you... you have to look inside yourself before you can look outward...

Now this last is just a little piece of unsolicitated advise... make friends with some of the subs here who have been around for a while... we all need a support system and you are pretty much hanging out there by yourself... you really need someone who can help you find some direction and understanding... not that we all won't be more than happy to help... but we all need friends who understand what we are going through...

 

[~Dream~]

well it's "just a thought..mind you ..

artful is an asshole.

he brings a succession of subs here all professing undying love for him (how are wish and pet at the moment?) and then they disappear.

dream, you're sweet, you really are. your devotion to him and your yearning to be submissive is good to see. i just cant help thinking you chose a wrong one.

He sulks when he doesnt get his own way, and as for the thing about Ebonyfire? like the woman said, for christ sake this isn't bdsm chat room style, as long as you're polite dom/sub status should mean nada here.

just be careful. dont give your heart to someone who accuses you of not being submissive enough when you have your own opinion.

------------------------------------------------------------------

but anyone can call somebody an "ass' but it takes REAL talent to BE ONE...DONT it just a thought???
My Master Spanks ass ,He most certainly is NOT one!!

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Re: Dixie..

thank-you sweety,but if the feelings dont count as much as the Control does..I'M not sure anymore...I know I love Master more than anything,but He KNOWS that when we DONT communicate..it's like a knife in my heart..all day I have been accused of "trying to "TOP' ..dO YOU WANNA know how much I HATE that word now? <======================>>>>>>
that much!! I am frustrated as hell cause I Do miss Him ,terribly omg ,do I EVER!! it is tearig me up iside and coupled with the fact that every time we DISAGREE on an issue ,He seems to jump to the "conclusio" that weare arguing"? maybe I should just go to bed,but unlike Master..I cant just leave it like this..His only way of "disciplining me is to shut off messenger..and God does it ever hurt when He does!!

I know exactly what you mean about trying to communicate and not feeling like you are being listened to. Its not easy to feel that your thoughts or concerns are not being taken into consideration. It is also more difficult to communicate your feelings over a messenger....I know this as Master and I use messenger on occasion to keep our conversations from our kids. There is a much greater risk of misunderstanding in the written words as opposed to the spoken ones. Tone of voice is not there, nor is facial expressions. I know that intellectually you know these things, and I am not trying to insult your intellegence in any way. Just offering some suggestions.

I also offer that maybe both of you are missing the physical interaction and just being near each other. Dream, I know from personal experience that being apart from your Master is definately not an easy thing. The three weeks last month that mine was away felt like an eternity, and I too had doubts about my submissiveness at times. We are only human, not robots programmed to be submissive. We have thoughts, feelings and needs, just as our Masters do.

Sorry I was rambling there. Dream I want you to know that anytime you feel the need or desire to talk I am always here. Maybe under the light of this new day things will be much better for both of you.

&
dixi