Style Question

[ruddygore]

I've got a question. How do you signify drawn out words when writing.

Think when a teen has been thoroughly embarrassed by their parent and respond with a drawn out father or mother.

Would it be along the line of "Moootheer! How could you?"

 

[KeithD]

That will do fine.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Would it be along the line of "Moootheer! How could you?"

Think about the pronunciation when it's broken into syllables.

Mooo theer - probably not the effect you're after.

Maybe designate by action -

"Mother!" She rolled her eyes. "How could you?"

 

[SimonDoom]

Generally speaking, I don't. That's an honest answer, not a flip one. In most cases, the risk of making it look weird or sound wrong outweighs whatever artistic purpose you want to achieve.

For example, in the example you gave, I have the impression that somebody is trying to talk to a clairvoyant cow, but with a lisp. "Moooooo -- theer!" That's my first impression of how to pronounce this in my mind, but obviously that's not at all what you want to convey. But when I noodle over how you've spelled the word, I can't quite figure out how you want me to say it, so I'm tripping over your word/spelling choice and not moving forward with your story. It's distracting rather than illuminating.

This is one of those cases where the adage "Kill your darlings" often applies. If you can come up with a truly suitable way to do it, give it a go. But look carefully at what you're doing to decide if you really need to do it.

 

[ronde]

I tend not to draw out vowels because the word can read funny. Drawing out consonants seems to sound better, at least to me. There's nothing wrong with "Moootheer", but to me it reads like the sound a cow makes, as in "Moo - ther". I'd probably write "Mothhhher". You just have to play it by ear and by that, I mean sound out the word you just wrote. I say each syllable just as I would when speaking.

I wouldn't write "neeever". I'd write "nevvvver."
Likewise, I'd write "commmon" instead of "cooomon" although my version could be read as "common" so I'd probably write it another way.

 

[alohadave]

"Mother!" She rolled her eyes. "How could you?"

"Mother!" she cried, dragging out the sound in frustration. "How could you?"

 

[Kumquatqueen]

There's always italics, even though they go funny next to punctuation on Lit sometimes.

So "Moth-errr!" or "Mo-ther!"

I know you might want to elongate the first syllable as well, but it's hard to do that without looking like a mooing cow.

 

[ChassonKnight]

I often start trying to achieve the effect I can hear in my head, and then give up for the very reasons identified, and find some other solution, such as implying tone through actions or just describing tone. It's tempting to think we can imply any sound with letters so a reader's brain will produce a duplicate of our imagination, but that's not so.

 

[Cagivagurl]

I've got a question. How do you signify drawn out words when writing.

Think when a teen has been thoroughly embarrassed by their parent and respond with a drawn out father or mother.

Would it be along the line of "Moootheer! How could you?"

Please understand. I am not an experienced writer. I am offering only a suggestion and perhaps it's not grammatically correct. However. I would go with.

"Mother..." She sighed in utter frustration. "How could you?"

Just an option.

Cagivagurl

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I just wrote this:

"Ozomaaaaatli," he drawled, in imitation of Oz's supercilious corrections to anyone who dared abbreviate his name. Which was everyone.

But there are a couple of mitigating factors:

1. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of readers on this site are white US Americans who won't know how to pronounce Ozomatli no matter how I spell it.
2. I don't care if they hear it right in their heads. The point is he's an ass who can't read the room. I call him Oz every other time I mention him.
3. English orthography does not use AA to indicate a different vowel than A. This is not true for OO vs O.

(Unfortunately for us, English has something like 14 to 21 vowels, depending on the dialect, but only five vowel characters in its alphabet. In languages with a more phonetic orthography, this problem wouldn't exist.)

 

[AG31]

There's always italics, even though they go funny next to punctuation on Lit sometimes.

So "Moth-errr!" or "Mo-ther!"

I know you might want to elongate the first syllable as well, but it's hard to do that without looking like a mooing cow.

Perfect!

@ruddygore (in case you're no longer reading replies to replies)

 

[Djmac1031]

Would it be along the line of "Moootheer! How could you?"

Just gonna back the general consensus that it looks weird and makes it difficult to understand intent.

If you feel you must do it, do it sparingly.

And on that one, definitely don't draw out the O. Because yes, it reads "Moo."

Try "Motherrr" because it would probably be the last syllable drawn out. But frankly even that looks weird.

I've engaged in the occasional character letting out an extended "Oh, ffffuck" during sex, but that's about it.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Muh-therrrr?

 

[Paul_Chance]

I tend to agree - don't do it.

If you decide you absolutely have to do it - do it once and get it out of your system, then never do it again.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Words spelled as someone pronounces them, Gwad, Lardy, for G*d or Lord, as long as it isn't overdone, are fine. But adding letters doesn't do it for me.

 

[ruddygore]

Right now I'm leaning towards adding the elipses or adding one or two rs at the end. Still have time to work it out.

It's an exchange where a rather uptight nineteen year old is reacting to things her early forties free spirited mother is telling her.

And no, the story won't go in incest.

 

[Codoc24]

For two of my books, I paid a professional editor to look them over. She discouraged using more than 3 letters if I tried to stretch a word out, for example, when someone has an orgasm, "Fuuuck!" And she also didn't like if I tried to write out the sound, like if someone screamed in fear or moaned during sex. She wasn't a big fan of that. In my last book, I had a woman jumping from one mountain ledge to another, but the ledge collapsed when she pushes off, so she was not going to make it. I had her screaming, but the editor said it would be better to write something like: She screamed in horror when she felt the ledge collapse. I don't remember if that's exactly what I wrote, but something close.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

I opened the cupboard and found I was out of coffee, I screamed Noooooo! Like the redone screech from Darth Vader as picks the Emperor and tosses him down the shaft.

 

[Altissimus]

Would it be along the line of "Moootheer! How could you?"

Simply putting that in italics works for me: "Mother! How could you?"

The emphasis elongates the word due to the sense of exasperation. I don't think you need the extra characters. I challenge anyone to read that in italics without it being a longer word than without.

If you still wanted more, then I agree with my learned colleagues above and advocate a style such as:

"Mother!" his exasperation was obvious, "How could you?"
"Mother!" his tone full of exasperation, "How could you?"
"Mother!" he said, exasperated, "How could you?"

 

[madelinemasoch]

Simply putting that in italics works for me: "Mother! How could you?"

The emphasis elongates the word due to the sense of exasperation. I don't think you need the extra characters. I challenge anyone to read that in italics without it being a longer word than without.

If you still wanted more, then I agree with my learned colleagues above and advocate a style such as:

"Mother!" his exasperation was obvious, "How could you?"
"Mother!" his tone full of exasperation, "How could you?"
"Mother!" he said, exasperated, "How could you?"

Ah, but how do you get italics to appear on the site version?

 

[ElectricBlue]

Ah, but how do you get italics to appear on the site version?

Use html coding <i>text text </i>

 

[Bramblethorn]

Ah, but how do you get italics to appear on the site version?

Option 1: write it as a Word document with italics, use the "upload doc" option for posting the story.

Option 2: use the text box, and tag the italicised passages either <i>like this</i> or <em>like this</em>. Strictly speaking, it should be <em></em> for emphasis, and <i></i> for other uses of italics (foreign words etc.). For most readers it won't make any visible difference, but it can be relevant for things like assistive technologies.

If you're going this way, and if you have more than one paragraph of italicised/emphasised text, I recommend opening <em> and closing </em> each paragraph individually.

 

[visioneer]

Ah, but how do you get italics to appear on the site version?

Literotica supports a few text formatting options:
https://www.literotica.com/faq/publishing/publishing-text-formatting

 

[alohadave]

Option 1: write it as a Word document with italics, use the "upload doc" option for posting the story.

Option 2: use the text box, and tag the italicised passages either <i>like this</i> or <em>like this</em>. Strictly speaking, it should be <em></em> for emphasis, and <i></i> for other uses of italics (foreign words etc.). For most readers it won't make any visible difference, but it can be relevant for things like assistive technologies.

If you're going this way, and if you have more than one paragraph of italicised/emphasised text, I recommend opening <em> and closing </em> each paragraph individually.

You must use closing tags, or Laurel will kick it back and tell you to fix it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

You must use closing tags, or Laurel will kick it back and tell you to fix it.

Always need to close your tags, yes. But my point there was that if you have several lines of italicised text, rather than just opening at the beginning and closing at the end of that passage, it's better to do it for every paragraph. Otherwise, there's a risk of Lit inserting a page break between your opener and closer, which will break things.