Stupidity: only genius has limits

[bluebell]

I'll be the first to admit I have space cadet moments, but sometimes I do genuinely Stupid things (as do we all; no need to hide it people, we're genetically prone to Stupiditis), and what I hate most of all is when I do them on the job.

So I put it to you: what dumbass things have you done at work?

It can be past or present work, or even really Stupid things other people you know have done.
I'm not asking for Darwin Award nominees here (though that would be an added bonus), but just a little shared Stupidity.
You know, between friends...

I also won't object if this turns into a rant on Stupid People in general, but I think the Pet Peeves thread has already done a stand-up job of representing the dunderheads of the world.

So let's hear it. Stupidity, ad infinitum.

 

[monique1971]

Once I just left about a month off the syllabus for the class I was teaching. The schedule of readings just jumped 4 weeks. Eventually a student raised her hand and asked, "What are we doing this month?"

Apparently sometimes I forget how to read a calendar. <sigh>

 

[bluebell]

Dur.

So here's my first confession.

I've been temping at a construction company as the receptionist. It's a pretty small family business, so they only need a five-line phone (and not a busy one, at that). They don't have voicemail.
In fact, the whole office is fairly arcane.
Don't believe me?
They still use a typewriter and Dot Matrix printers.
Yeah, it's fun. I still fuck up the typewriter when I have to make out checks.

So in answering phones I, of course, have a message pad. Just pages of blank, white message notes. When a call comes in, you take down the info and then write a message, tear it out, and give it to whomever needs to receive it.

Yesterday the boss called asking for a number. We couldn't find it.
He said, "Well, isn't it in the message book? What about the old carbons?"

Pause. "Uh..."

Whatever you're thinking I did, I did.

I hadn't been using the carbons. Didn't know they were there. Had even been throwing out the old carbons from the girl who comes in to work on Fridays.
So I had to admit I'd been taking messages wrong the whole time.

You put the cardboard spacer between the message sheet, the carbon sheet (which, by the way, did not resemble carbon paper at all; no special color, no flimsy texture), and the rest of the blank pages.
Write down messages, and voila! You have a message to hand out and a message that stays there for the winners who lose the messages they've already been given.

I've never had to take messages like that. All the people I've ever worked for have managed to retain their information like adults (which is sort of miraculous, now that I think about it).

I don't know how I missed all the not-so-subtle hints that it was a carbon paper message pad. The pages of past carbons, the way every other page would perforate easily...
Gawd, I am so dumb.

So I berated myself for the rest of the day. Felt really really really stupid.
Thankfully they're very nice there, and I looked the number up online (they do have internet and new computers...go figure).
But still, I wanted to lie down in traffic for awhile.

 

[monique1971]

Awww. Poor bluebell. <petpet>

I did something similar at a dumb clerical job years ago and got yelled at. And then I went in the women's room and cried.

 

[bluebell]

Awww. Poor bluebell. <petpet>

Meow.

I did something similar at a dumb clerical job years ago and got yelled at. And then I went in the women's room and cried.

That is so sad. The crying, not the error.
Your turn: <petpet>

 

[monique1971]

I did post one! See second post in the thread, silly.

 

[Lorali82]

I printed the wrong list of mailing labels and ended up sending a lot of brochures to a bunch of dead people once.

 

[dancing_monnkey]

I preadressed manilla envelopes to send off some contract writing to one company, and a portfolio to another. I stuffed the wrong items in the wrong envelope and inadvently sent my portfiol to a company that already had seen it, and the script for a homesexual erotic comic book to a Christian outreach center that wanted to develop a recruitment comic of their own.


The worst part was admiting that I was neither gay nor a Christian and that it was all about the money.

*cough HACK cough*

 

[trysail]

"Behind every great fortune, lies a great crime."


I suppose the dumbest thing I ever did was to work for a bunch of crooks before I realized they were a bunch of crooks. It's a common mistake frequently committed by the young and stupid- which is what I was at the time. Now, older, wiser, and richer, I'm neither willing nor compelled to sacrifice my integrity in exchange for money. It has been said (and accurately, I believe) that only rich people can afford to be honest.

My life's journey has been more than an eye-opener. Living in the same place where I was born and raised has allowed me to observe who's been naughty and who's been nice. A very substantial portion of this town's most prominent citizens have accumulated their fortunes by dishonest methods- very few people are aware of the fact. My training and experience as a financial analyst and a life spent reading the "fine print" (unfortunately) allows me to comprehend the thimblerigging that's gone on. The paper-shufflers, phoneys, and mountebanks continue to receive the adulation and respect of fawning, sycophantic, myrmidons who worship money.

It can be depressing, at times. On the other hand, I don't have any trouble sleeping or looking in the mirror- and that's worth a lot.

"The trouble with money is that we live in a society where it's highly overvalued."
- H.L. Mencken

 

[bluebell]

Dead people have feelings too. Wait...

I printed the wrong list of mailing labels and ended up sending a lot of brochures to a bunch of dead people once.

Well, you never know...
I would so do that too, though.

I stuffed the wrong items in the wrong envelope and inadvently sent my portfiol to a company that already had seen it, and the script for a homesexual erotic comic book to a Christian outreach center that wanted to develop a recruitment comic of their own.

I'm loving the mental images. Very Jonathan Edwards.
Not the "I talk to dead people" dude, but the "Sinners in the hands of an angry God" dude.
Hee hee.

 

[bluebell]

I need a cookie.

I suppose the dumbest thing I ever did was to work for a bunch of crooks before I realized they were a bunch of crooks. It's a common mistake frequently committed by the young and stupid- which is what I was at the time. Now, older, wiser, and richer, I'm neither willing nor compelled to sacrifice my integrity in exchange for money. It has been said (and accurately, I believe) that only rich people can afford to be honest.

My life's journey has been more than an eye-opener. Living in the same place where I was born and raised has allowed me to observe who's been naughty and who's been nice. A very substantial portion of this town's most prominent citizens have accumulated their fortunes by dishonest methods- very few people are aware of the fact. My training and experience as a financial analyst and a life spent reading the "fine print" (unfortunately) allows me to comprehend the thimblerigging that's gone on. The paper-shufflers, phoneys, and mountebanks continue to receive the adulation and respect of fawning, sycophantic, myrmidons who worship money.

It can be depressing, at times. On the other hand, I don't have any trouble sleeping or looking in the mirror- and that's worth a lot.

It makes me melancholy when I view people in a new and unflattering light.
And the ways that their deceptions and base behavior are made known are almost just as depressing in themselves.
The most casual, off-hand remark can change your opinion (or your view, at the very least) of someone you had previously thought incapable of being so...icky.

In general, I find it really deflating to learn that people I had sort of looked up to or thought of as "good" really do some crappy things.
Unfortunately this seems to happen across a spectrum of instances; work, social situations, and most especially: family.
Viewing people (family most of all) through childlike eyes and adult eyes are two very different kettles of fish, and dammit, it's sad.

 

[Lorali82]

Viewing people (family most of all) through childlike eyes and adult eyes are two very different kettles of fish, and dammit, it's sad.

This is what regression is for.

 

[Hocky9377]

Hmm... Something stupid that I did at work. . .there are so many.


Here is one that happened a year and a half ago, but Im still feeling the effects.

I work for a piping supply company. One day, before a holiday, we were all trying to get out so we could start the holiday weekend early. A co-worker and I had to put away some steel blind flanges that are rated for 300# of pressure. (Large round steel discs with holes around the edges to put the bolts through, other than that it is solid and very heavy) We were having a hard time getting it off of the ground because it was 16 inches around. We got the edge up a couple of times but it seemed to fall back down. Me, being the smart one that I am, had him lift it up once again and told him to set it down gently on my foot. It would sting for a bit, but we would be able to pick it up and put it away. I put my foot under it and just as I did, the edge fell down. . .right on my toes. I screamed like a 10-yr-old girl for a couple of minutes. I couldnt wear a shoe the entire 4-day weekend. My toenail fell off a couple of months later, and it still has yet to fully grow back.

So not only was it a dumb idea, but it was also very, very painful.

 

[mistertripps]

I hit Reply instead of Forward on an email from someone who had a problem with the correct use of the English language and pointed out their faults thinking I was typing to my friend. Never heard back from them, but I sure felt stupid.

 

[trysail]

Regression !!!

This is what regression is for.

Ya gave me a good chuckle with this one, Lorali.

I am practicing regression; my spare bedroom floor is covered with tracks for my HO model trains! It's FUN, FUN, FUN!

 

[Ekserb]

I had to go back a ways to think of this one:

One of the early licenses I had in the Army was for a HEMTT. It's a big, eight-wheel-drive monster of a truck that requires an assistant driver who acts as a ground-guide when maneuvering around tight spaces or when parking/backing up.

Well, one night in west Texas I was told to move my truck from point A to point B. My AD was nowhere to be found and I figured it would be okay to just drive the truck slowly and quietly (inasmuch as a 450-horsepower diesel V8 can be operated quietly) the few hundred feet that it needed to be moved. How hard could that be?

I get in. I fire the engine. I put it in Drive. CRUNCH. Right over a ladder that someone had left sitting in front of the rear wheels. Destroyed the ladder and woke up everyone in the camp who came running out of their tents to see what happened. Everyone including the company commander.

Shit.

I felt like an ass. Not only for breaking what used to be a really nice, expensive, collapsible aluminum ladder, but also because I knew I was wrong.

I told the Captain that I would pay for the ladder and that I was terribly sorry. Luckily, he liked me and told me not to worry about it.

 

[bluebell]

I had to go back a ways to think of this one:

One of the early licenses I had in the Army was for a HEMTT. It's a big, eight-wheel-drive monster of a truck that requires an assistant driver who acts as a ground-guide when maneuvering around tight spaces or when parking/backing up.

Well, one night in west Texas I was told to move my truck from point A to point B. My AD was nowhere to be found and I figured it would be okay to just drive the truck slowly and quietly (inasmuch as a 450-horsepower diesel V8 can be operated quietly) the few hundred feet that it needed to be moved. How hard could that be?

I get in. I fire the engine. I put it in Drive. CRUNCH. Right over a ladder that someone had left sitting in front of the rear wheels. Destroyed the ladder and woke up everyone in the camp who came running out of their tents to see what happened. Everyone including the company commander.

Shit.

I felt like an ass. Not only for breaking what used to be a really nice, expensive, collapsible aluminum ladder, but also because I knew I was wrong.

I told the Captain that I would pay for the ladder and that I was terribly sorry. Luckily, he liked me and told me not to worry about it.

Okay, yeah. That would be mortifying.
I think I would instantly revert to Little Kid Mode. You know, cover my eyes and hope that meant they couldn't see me anymore.

 

[bluebell]

This dude deserved it.

I've got one about a guy I used to work with at a pet store.

There were only two people who could feed the Lionfish: me, and Jason, the Aquatic Specialist. We were kind of the only ones who weren't too stupid to do it.

So for some reason, this dumb fuck Josh netted a couple of Tuffies (teeny pink feeders), palmed them, and then put his hand into the Lionfish tank.

Two words: Emergency Room.
I still can't believe that.

 

[speedgrip]

Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results in the end.

 

[monique1971]

Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results in the end.

Whoa, man. Trysail-itis. Who will catch it next?

 

[Ekserb]

Whoa, man. Trysail-itis. Who will catch it next?

Actually, I was going to ask if he read that on the bumper of the car in front of him as he pulled into work this morning.

 

[trysail]

I dunno


'tweren't me, I swear to god, I didn't do it. I had nuffin' to do wif it. I was in the Playground all day- I've got witnesses!

 

[bluebell]

Car key or Q-Tip

Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results in the end.

I thought that was insanity, not stupidity.

I think Einstein would need to be revived to create some sort of complicated equation that measures the endless contributing factors and infinite amount of repercussions that go along with stupidity.
Its full potential can never be measured.
Maybe, just maybe, though, we will one day be able to harness its powers and eliminate all need for mechanical fuel.

'tweren't me, I swear to god, I didn't do it. I had nuffin' to do wif it. I was in the Playground all day- I've got witnesses!

Poor trysail. Continuously in contempt of court at Lit.

 

[Becca007]

oops!


I sent a truckload of product overseas...to the wrong country and I didn't find out about the mistake till it was too late to fix it...

 

[jason_jenn]

I had a Jr. tech at a small shop I managed who was a walking accident... Here's a small sample even the best comic writers couldn't have imagined up....

He drops a screw on the floor and bends down to pick it up, smashes his head into the counter (covered with screws). Jumps up in pain (screws still stuck to his forehead) to hit the back of his head on the shelving above, stumbles across the floor to step into a waste-bin. He continues to stumble along with the bin on his foot and a screw or two still impaled to his face into the only ceiling support in the room, falls back onto a (wheeled) office chair to miss slightly and lands on his ass.

It took me 15 minutes to get everyone calmed down and back to work....

I closed my office door and burst into hysterics for a good 45 minutes....

I still smile at the thought of the poor guy wearing screw jewelry and a wastepaper basket.