Stupid Question- can a man suppress a boner even if he’s really turned on

[Sultry23]

I know I’m not a guy tho and I never thought about it haha

 

[Bazzle]

The answer is "it depends".

 

[lanceGibs]

It's difficult

 

[Duleigh]

10 minutes of "The View" will do it for me.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I know I’m not a guy tho and I never thought about it haha

you do know that?
how did you figure it out?

 

[TxRad]

It's hard, pardon the pun, but it is not impossible.

 

[Duleigh]

As a teen it was super difficult!!!

 

[SimonDoom]

At 18, it was nearly impossible. A few decades later, it's easier. One can think about something unsexy, or do something vigorous to take one's mind off it, or actively avoid any physical stimulation. But if one is in a situation where escape from the objection of attention is impossible, it's more difficult.

 

[Djmac1031]

At 18, it was nearly impossible. A few decades later, it's easier. One can think about something unsexy, or do something vigorous to take one's mind off it, or actively avoid any physical stimulation. But if one is in a situation where escape from the objection of attention is impossible, it's more difficult.

Yeah, to echo this;

As a younger man, I could get a boner in a light breeze.

Now as a, um... mature gentleman, it really depends.

Seeing a sexy, beautiful woman may pique my interest. Maybe even quicken my pulse if I linger over the idea of her. But it's not an instant erection.

Even say, at a strip club. I'm not walking around hard the whole time. Especially if I know nothing is gonna happen with any of them.

All this to say, it really depends on your scenario. But in general I'd say just SEEING a woman naked or something, we're not necessarily getting an erection.

Now if she's intentionally trying to seduce us and / or the scenario is leading to the possibility of sex? Yeah, we're getting hard, probably pretty quickly.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Agree with @SimonDoom and @Djmac1031,

The key for me is that if it's pretty clear that whatever is going on is going to lead to sex, I'm probably getting unavoidably hard in short order. If I'm just watching an attractive woman walk down the street, I'm almost completely safe from social embarrassment, regardless of what fantasies are playing in my head.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Not with me, he can't.

 

[tonyonthecoast]

I know I’m not a guy tho and I never thought about it haha

It is usually 'think about something else', but that only goes so far.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Not with me, he can't.

Careful, there's them about who'll take that challenge just to lose it.

 

[MrPixel]

Depends on whether he has or hasn't taken the blue or yellow pill.

 

[SimonDoom]

Not with me, he can't.

Sounds like a story idea.

 

[Swuchroo]

Why? Show my bulge when I am engaging/conversation and hope it’s noticed.

 

[OverconfidentSarcasm]

I know I’m not a guy tho and I never thought about it haha

Actually, not that stupid of a question. But, since you posted this in the AH, I'm gonna assume that you need this for a story and want it to make sense. So...

Short answer: No, we can't.

While the other replies may sound like we can, they all basically confirm that, in order to lose an erection while being "really turned on", we need to stop being turned on. It requires some mental gymnastics on our part, obviously. And I disagree that this is something we learn with time. As far as I know, it's more like it becomes possible as we grow older and our hormones level out. Though, even then, it depends on the situation.

We can have either psychogenic erections (comes from the head because we're horny) or reflexogenic erections (it happens because we're physically stimulated). Only the psychogenic ones can be consciously stopped. The reflex erections are completely disconnected from the brain, so the old tale of "He had a boner so he must have liked it" is crap.

Also: Ignore MrPixel. As far as I know, Viagra makes it easier to have an erection by allowing more blood flow, but it doesn't increase a man's libido, so there won't be any blood flow unless he's horny. Contrary to popular belief, Viagra does not cause involuntary erections.

 

[MrPixel]

My serious response as a practicing nudist for 50 years... it really depends on the situation and the guy. I'll agree that nature is a bitch for young men, inducing erections at the drop of a hat over nothing. Beyond the teen years it can be more or less controlled, but you have to work at it. It's the old baseball metaphor, where a guy in bed with a partner is trying to be civil by reciting baseball stats in his head to at least delay arousal.

But sometimes even experienced mature nudists who think they have learned to control it - the socially acceptable thing to do - will have challenges. My wife and I are constantly amused by an acquaintance at one park we frequent. She is attractive, and, we swear, any time he's within 10 yards of her, there it goes, struggling against the reflex as he may.

 

[Djmac1031]

When we write porn, we tend to exaggerate.

Guys get instant erections, and they remain rock hard for as long as required.

Women are immediately wet, never need lubrication.

Reality is of course very different.

In the end, how realistically you wanna portray a guy and his erection, how fast he gets one, whether he can "control" it, really just depends on the story you wanna tell.

Is it some dare / challenge thing? Like "how long can she tease him or how much skin can she show before he gets hard?"

Is he making out with a new girlfriend and trying not to get an erection because he's afraid she'll notice and be offended?

Is it a nude beach thing? New guy, naked around a bunch of attractive nude women and trying not to get an erection?

So many variables. In the end you can write it however you want really.

 

[yowser]

A plunge into the Atlantic round about Nova Scotia ought to do the trick.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

 

[Abbafan]

Best you can do is try to focus your mind on something that's a huge turn off, but I've never been able to tell it to go down. I'm almost 50 now and on psych meds, so an unwanted boner is not a problem very often these days.

 

[EmilyMiller]

 

[Codoc24]

As some others have already stated, depends a lot on how old you are. At 16 it practically never goes away, at 61 (sadly) you're begging to see it again.

 

[Devinter]

While the other replies may sound like we can, they all basically confirm that, in order to lose an erection while being "really turned on", we need to stop being turned on.

Indeed. So it really depends on how you read the question from @Sultry23. If the real question is "Can a guy that is turned on force himself to no longer be turned on?", the answer is definitely yes in most cases. Especially without physical stimuli, this should be possible in an ordinary scenario for anyone with enough willpower over the age of about 14 I'd say, getting slightly easier every year thereafter. It's all about mental focus.

However, many factors play a part. If you're in a scenario where your absolute dream woman - ticking all the boxes - is right in front of you, and she's making it quite clear that she's having the same naughty thoughts that you are, it's going to be incredibly challenging. If you're just seeing some attractive woman walking down the street, I would argue that even if she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen in your life, you could easily still control your erection with some effort. Even at a young age. (Keyword being effort.)

If you add physical stimuli to it, then everything else goes out the window. The body reacts to such matters in ways that falls out of people's direct control. If you - Sultry - are writing some sort of NonCon story where the man isn't into it at all, being forced into sex, he may not be able to prevent getting an erection if he's being stimulated. In fact, most people would pop an erection pretty darn fast if someone runs their tongue across their member a few times, regardless of how they feel about the situation otherwise - being afraid, disgusted, saddened, or whatever other negative emotion you can think of. It's simply an involuntary reaction to stimuli in a similar way to how a woman might get wet if their erogenous zones were being touched, regardless of sexual desire otherwise.