Stupid Jokes for a Stupid Monday

[Beebeeblue]

WHAT DO FISH SAY WHENTHEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?
"Dam!"
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
A stick!
WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET, FROM SITTIN' ON THE ICE?
Polaroids!
WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
Nacho cheese!
WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS?
Subordinate Clauses!
WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
Quatro sinko!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
Frostbite!
WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
Right where you left him!
WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
Because they have big fingers!
HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?
Unique up on it!
HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT?
Tame way, unique up on it!
HOW ARE TEXAS TORNADOS AND TENNESSEE DIVORCES THE SAME?
Somebody is gonn'a lose a trailer!
WHAT GOES, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP?
An Amish drive-by shooting!

 

[superlittlegirl]

HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?
Unique up on it!
HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT?
Tame way, unique up on it!

These are two of my all-time favorites.

 

[MechaBlade]

Yep, those were stupid.

 

[scylis]

what do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord?


my ass.

 

[Rex1960]

Biological research.
This student is working on statistics about physical abilities of a certain frog.
He puts that frog on a table, claps in his hands and the frog jumps. He notes: Frog with two legs is able to jump 3 feet.
He cuts off one leg, puts the frog back on the table, claps in his hands and notes: Frog with one leg is able to jump 1 foot.
He cuts off the other leg, puts the frog on the table, claps in his hands and .... nothing, claps in his hands again and again nothing happens, after he tried clapping the third time and nothing happens, he notes: Frog without legs is not able to hear.