Stupid Comments

[MatthewVett]

I did a search, and didn't *see* anything that looked like it covered this, so I wanted to start it, because man, I've been getting some winners lately.

I submitted a non-erotic story, and the very first comment I got was complaining because it wasn't erotic. Um, what were you expecting? Maybe they missed the category, but I feel like before you went out of your way to comment, you'd at least check it out first to check which category you're in.

On the same story, someone told me I was being historically inaccurate to Vikings, despite the fact that, 1) I never mentioned Vikings, or indeed, any identifying anything, not a year or a place name or even a proper noun, and 2) it was a story about a raid over a book, so why would you assume I was going for historical accuracy?

Ugh... So, how about you? Have any idiotic comments you need to rant about?

 

[autoplot]

One commenter told me to stop describing everything and "trying to paint pictures with words," and instead let the reader decide for themselves how everything looked.

I have to tell you, I have no real intention of following that advice.

 

[MatthewVett]

One commenter told me to stop describing everything and "trying to paint pictures with words," and instead let the reader decide for themselves how everything looked.

I have to tell you, I have no real intention of following that advice.

What on earth do they want, then? "People did stuff. The end." Ah, much better. Now I can decide everything for myself. Perfect!

 

[slyc_willie]

I like the comments left by someone -- who always remains anonymous -- on several of your stories, critiquing each of them regarding accuracy, some minor plot detail, or something you overlooked, and suggesting that you take a creative writing course. And then they come back several months later with a comment like, "Well, well, looks like you listened to my advice!"

No, dickhead, I'm still writing the same shitty way I've always been . . .

. . . or, am I the only one who's gotten those?

 

[Cruel2BKind]

I like the comments left by someone -- who always remains anonymous -- on several of your stories, critiquing each of them regarding accuracy, some minor plot detail, or something you overlooked, and suggesting that you take a creative writing course. And then they come back several months later with a comment like, "Well, well, looks like you listened to my advice!"

No, dickhead, I'm still writing the same shitty way I've always been . . .

. . . or, am I the only one who's gotten those?

I had an anonymouse, who I'm pretty sure was the same dude.


S/he read and commented on about ten of my stories. Each one, they bitched about how my stories were too rapey. How I put my characters through too much, and every once in a while, an actual complaint about character development or such.

If you don't like the way I write my stories, don't read them!

 

[PayDay]

"There is no one thing more annoying
than a person who has a keen eye for The Obvious"

-Walter Slovotsky

 

[slyc_willie]

I had an anonymouse, who I'm pretty sure was the same dude.


S/he read and commented on about ten of my stories. Each one, they bitched about how my stories were too rapey. How I put my characters through too much, and every once in a while, an actual complaint about character development or such.

If you don't like the way I write my stories, don't read them!

But . . . but . . . don't you see? They can change you! They have that power! That's why they post their glorious wisdom!

 

[PayDay]

But . . . but . . . don't you see? They can change you! They have that power! That's why they post their glorious wisdom!

pro. A+ P J

 

[sr71plt]

I had an anonymouse, who I'm pretty sure was the same dude.


S/he read and commented on about ten of my stories. Each one, they bitched about how my stories were too rapey. How I put my characters through too much, and every once in a while, an actual complaint about character development or such.

If you don't like the way I write my stories, don't read them!

Hmmm. I think the same commenter has been ragging on my stories the past week. Gives the same feeling of "then why are your reading every one?"

 

[NaokoSmith]

One named feedback said the reader had loved my story and then he wrote one of his own, describing what he'd like me to do to him - referencing medical studies to prove that some of it was possible . I didn't read all of it, cuz I was crying with laughter too much to see, and I didn't comment back to him on it.

I think my very favourite was the PM saying 'please will youbread me a story', although when I wrote back saying would he like it deep fried as well as rolled in breadcrumbs, he admitted he hadn't actually read any yet.

And I have the infamous Amazon reviews where people say my characters are not 'real' werewolves, and where people give me between one star ('depraved filth' - that comment was the one that started the landslide of downloads as people rushed to pick the story up with their tongues hanging out) and five stars - people with a sense of humour. I always go and thank the reviewers and say how helpful I find their feedback, although I have no intention of making my werewolves any more 'real', I have quite enough to do with this were-octupus who is taking up my kitchen while Dampy and I get our act together to write its story. When I'm very hungry I sometimes wistfully think how nice it would be to have a bit of were sushi.

 

[sr71plt]

My most recent amusing one has been discussed on another thread. I wrote a story inspired by a recent cruise to the Bahamas on which I met a sexy young Amish couple honeymooning. The whole hook of the story was an Amish couple on a honeymoon cruise. The first comment on the story was that the Amish don't go on honeymoon cruises.

 

[NaokoSmith]

My most recent amusing one has been discussed on another thread. I wrote a story inspired by a recent cruise to the Bahamas on which I met a sexy young Amish couple honeymooning. The whole hook of the story was an Amish couple on a honeymoon cruise. The first comment on the story was that the Amish don't go on honeymoon cruises.

You must become a postmodern thinker too! We know that reality is not real really.

 

[slyc_willie]

My most recent amusing one has been discussed on another thread. I wrote a story inspired by a recent cruise to the Bahamas on which I met a sexy young Amish couple honeymooning. The whole hook of the story was an Amish couple on a honeymoon cruise. The first comment on the story was that the Amish don't go on honeymoon cruises.

I think I waylaid such comments on mine with the disclaimer I included. It seems to do wonders when you tell readers up front that you've done your homework.

 

[NaokoSmith]

I think I waylaid such comments on mine with the disclaimer I included. It seems to do wonders when you tell readers up front that you've done your homework.

LOL, I recently had to put in a disclaimer to say I hadn't done my homework.

I did as little practical research on the chapter where the MILF has sex with the hot builder cub as I did on the gay sex chapter. Yes, I made it all up. ALL OF IT, panting eager PMers.

 

[slyc_willie]

LOL, I recently had to put in a disclaimer to say I hadn't done my homework.

I did as little practical research on the chapter where the MILF has sex with the hot builder cub as I did on the gay sex chapter. Yes, I made it all up. ALL OF IT, panting eager PMers.

Sometimes, a disclaimer can do wonders, regardless of what you put in it. "I don't know my shit but this is what I wrote" can steer away at least a few nit-pickers here and there.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Sometimes, a disclaimer can do wonders, regardless of what you put in it. "I don't know my shit but this is what I wrote" can steer away at least a few nit-pickers here and there.

Well you can come and pick any nits off of me any time, but I am not a slag, y'know. I like to post with people for at least a week before learning intimate details about their body parts.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

LIT attracts Passive-Aggressive personalities who kick LITs writers rather than real villains IRL.

 

[PayDay]

C: Lies

We know that reality is not real really.

Lies. What's this 'we' ? Reality is real. It exists. It's still there when you turn around.

Sometimes, a disclaimer can do wonders, regardless of what you put in it. "I don't know my shit but this is what I wrote" can steer away at least a few nit-pickers here and there.

Lies. Ask me how iKnow.

LIT attracts Passive-Aggressive personalities who kick LITs writers rather than real villains IRL.

Lies. Some of fight RL @ IRL As best we can anyways.

 

[Handley_Page]

One commenter told me to stop describing everything and "trying to paint pictures with words," and instead let the reader decide for themselves how everything looked.

I have to tell you, I have no real intention of following that advice.

I always imagined that the whole idea of writing was to do exactly that.

Steady, lads. they walk among us.

 

[Bramblethorn]

My most recent amusing one has been discussed on another thread. I wrote a story inspired by a recent cruise to the Bahamas on which I met a sexy young Amish couple honeymooning. The whole hook of the story was an Amish couple on a honeymoon cruise. The first comment on the story was that the Amish don't go on honeymoon cruises.

Ayup. I was once at a New Years' party where I felt like an outsider - usually those people would've been friends, but I was in a brittle sort of mood and there were a bunch of little aggravations that left me feeling alone and unappreciated. Then somebody casually insulted me - just a little thing, not intended to hurt - and that was the final straw. I stalked off in a huff and sulked until they came after me to apologise.

My first chapter uses a very similar incident, although the protagonist had far more provocation than I did... and a couple of commenters felt it was quite unrealistic that a lesbian would stalk off in a huff after hearing her boss slur lesbians in front of colleagues. Maybe I just didn't convey it well enough, but that still seems weird to me.

I always imagined that the whole idea of writing was to do exactly that.

Devil's advocate: over-description is not always a good thing, for the same reasons that photorealistic painting isn't automatically better than Impressionism. I haven't read the story that prompted this particular comment, but I've read plenty of others that go into so much detail it sounds like the author's trying to describe a bank robber to the cops.

(Usually a bank robber with improbably large breasts, but I digress.)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Artistes rarely get what STATE OF THE ART means.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

One commenter told me to stop describing everything and "trying to paint pictures with words," and instead let the reader decide for themselves how everything looked.

I have to tell you, I have no real intention of following that advice.

why not?

 

[oggbashan]

One commenter told me to stop describing everything and "trying to paint pictures with words," and instead let the reader decide for themselves how everything looked.

I have to tell you, I have no real intention of following that advice.

If you leave the descriptions of the characters or locations to the readers' imagination, they can apply their favourite characteristics.

For example if they like busty redheads, the female lead can be a busty redhead in their imagination, but not if you have defined her as a slim natural blonde.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

why not?

Dear Reader

This clown refuses to read any story where the characters aren't inflatable.

 

[MatthewVett]

Devil's advocate: over-description is not always a good thing, for the same reasons that photorealistic painting isn't automatically better than Impressionism. I haven't read the story that prompted this particular comment, but I've read plenty of others that go into so much detail it sounds like the author's trying to describe a bank robber to the cops.

(Usually a bank robber with improbably large breasts, but I digress.)

But she used her breasts to distract me! That's how she got the drop on me! It was genius... Speaking of, wasn't there a robber recently who was pretty much known only for her enormous knockers?

Here we are, the Buxon Bandit: http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...n-the-gold-coast/story-e6freoof-1226597340881