Stuck Again! Need a Folksy Saying for "OMG, that was obvious."

[MrPixel]

This should be a little bit more fun.

Character is a saucy waitress in a small-town Midwestern diner. Sort of like "Flo" from the old TV show "Alice". You know, "Kiss my grits!" Flo.

Setting is saying goodbye to a group of diner regulars known for Activity X, sending them off to "Go do Activity X!", then mumbling to herself that she was a fool for advising them to do what they inherently do anyway.

Akin to "Is the Pope Catholic? Do bears poop in the woods?" That sort of thing. Mixed metaphors - "Does the Pope poop in the woods?" - typical of somebody street smart but without a lot of formal education would be even better.

 

[LexxRuthless]

"Shee-it," she grumbled, shaking her head, "May as well tell Caligula, 'Enjoy the orgy!'"

 

[HectorBidon]

Duh. (Duh!)

 

[RejectReality]

Setting is saying goodbye to a group of diner regulars known for Activity X, sending them off to "Go do Activity X!", then mumbling to herself that she was a fool for advising them to do what they inherently do anyway.

First thing that popped into my head was "May as well be telling a skunk to stink."

For something with less condemnation and a little more self recrimination, "May as well be telling water to run downhill."

 

[WyreBendr0417]

"Well, I guess there's no need to flip the lights on when the Sun's already shinin'."

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Might such an American say "No shit, Sherlock?"

Someone overhearing, in the UK at least, might then say "Dig deeper, Watson."

 

[Thefireflies]

This is super Australian, but we might say, Even Blind Freddy could see that they'd do the things they do.

Blind Freddy's some random blind bloke, but what ever it is that's obvious, Freddy, who's blind as a bat, can see or predict the outcome.

So perhaps around the world there might be a blind Freddy equivalent, or simply even a blind man (or woman) could see they were going to do whatever anyway.

 

[Thefireflies]

another might be - Plain as day
And looking up Plain as day comes up with - plain as the nose on your face.

 

[shakna]

• Well, that was plain as a pig on a sofa.
  
• May as well have said pea turkey squat.
  
• Well, that were as hairy chest on wax day.
  
• No shit. They're tail up and stinger out.
  
• That one were written on the heel.

 

[Rustyoznail]

This is super Australian, but we might say, Even Blind Freddy could see that they'd do the things they do.

Blind Freddy's some random blind bloke, but what ever it is that's obvious, Freddy, who's blind as a bat, can see or predict the outcome.

So perhaps around the world there might be a blind Freddy equivalent, or simply even a blind man (or woman) could see they were going to do whatever anyway.

Ya think???

 

[lovecraft68]

Not sure it completely fits but "A day like any other" or "A day that ends in Y"

 

[BelleCanzuto]

This should be a little bit more fun.

Character is a saucy waitress in a small-town Midwestern diner. Sort of like "Flo" from the old TV show "Alice". You know, "Kiss my grits!" Flo.

Setting is saying goodbye to a group of diner regulars known for Activity X, sending them off to "Go do Activity X!", then mumbling to herself that she was a fool for advising them to do what they inherently do anyway.

Akin to "Is the Pope Catholic? Do bears poop in the woods?" That sort of thing. Mixed metaphors - "Does the Pope poop in the woods?" - typical of somebody street smart but without a lot of formal education would be even better.

I don't have a good idiom in mind, and this reference is a bit dated. But I keep thinking about that Bill Engvall "here's your sign" comedy bit.

This should be a link to a video of the bit: https://youtu.be/Yvj_acGhbPk

 

[MrPixel]

Thanks, everyone! At the moment the Pope motif seems to work. Waitress' name is Jean:

"You guys go have fun, Steven," she hollers back. "Oh, shit, Jean" she mumbles to herself. "Tellin' that bunch to 'go have fun' is preachin' to the Pope."

This story is a long way from going live, so keep on keepin' on with ideas!