Hello everyone,
i have been a reader on literotica for many years, and decided to take the plunge to ask for some advice/help here as i really dont know where else to turn to.
I am married, although young, 28 years old. i have been with my husband for 5 years. To give you some background i will start at the beginning really..
i first discovered erotic books when i was 11. i found a book of short stories in my parents porch bookcase and stole it away to my bedroom. The stories that most fascinated me and made me feel something were the stories of submitting to a dominant man. Throughout my teens i always went back to the same "theme" when reading, and fantasised about that side of sex.
i played around with a few men who were slightly dominant, without them realising it i dont think... then settled in my first long term relationship with someone who wasn't like that really... until he began to get violent in a very unwelcome way. It took me 3 years to break free from that relationship, and it left me broken, confused and nervous of men completely.
As such my interest in D/s was locked away somewhere in my brain, i think i was just not able to trust so it lacked its appeal anymore.
fast forward a few years and i met my husband who is VERY vanilla, and almost to a point slightly feminine. This has been satisfactory for about 3 years, but over the last 18 months something has begun to stir inside of me and in turn my interest in my husband has almost completely dissapated.
it has taken me a long time to really come to terms with what is missing from my life, i have a very successful career, i'm the only woman in a very male orientated high pressure sales environment and have to manage around 400 people daily. This complete power i have at work needs to be balanced and my husband has no interest, and genuinely couldnt dominate me if he tried.
i am beginning to wonder if this is the end of our marriage. I feel we have grown apart, i am such a different person now, and i crave submission on a minute by minute basis.
he is going to stay with his parents for a week to give me some space to try and figure out what i want, but i am so worried about what i may be about to do.
any advice, wisdom or just comment is welcome.
thankyou for reading.
i have been a reader on literotica for many years, and decided to take the plunge to ask for some advice/help here as i really dont know where else to turn to.
I am married, although young, 28 years old. i have been with my husband for 5 years. To give you some background i will start at the beginning really..
i first discovered erotic books when i was 11. i found a book of short stories in my parents porch bookcase and stole it away to my bedroom. The stories that most fascinated me and made me feel something were the stories of submitting to a dominant man. Throughout my teens i always went back to the same "theme" when reading, and fantasised about that side of sex.
i played around with a few men who were slightly dominant, without them realising it i dont think... then settled in my first long term relationship with someone who wasn't like that really... until he began to get violent in a very unwelcome way. It took me 3 years to break free from that relationship, and it left me broken, confused and nervous of men completely.
As such my interest in D/s was locked away somewhere in my brain, i think i was just not able to trust so it lacked its appeal anymore.
fast forward a few years and i met my husband who is VERY vanilla, and almost to a point slightly feminine. This has been satisfactory for about 3 years, but over the last 18 months something has begun to stir inside of me and in turn my interest in my husband has almost completely dissapated.
it has taken me a long time to really come to terms with what is missing from my life, i have a very successful career, i'm the only woman in a very male orientated high pressure sales environment and have to manage around 400 people daily. This complete power i have at work needs to be balanced and my husband has no interest, and genuinely couldnt dominate me if he tried.
i am beginning to wonder if this is the end of our marriage. I feel we have grown apart, i am such a different person now, and i crave submission on a minute by minute basis.
he is going to stay with his parents for a week to give me some space to try and figure out what i want, but i am so worried about what i may be about to do.
any advice, wisdom or just comment is welcome.
thankyou for reading.