Stream of consciousness narrative

[LaRascasse]

Okay so I've submitted part 1 of a 3 part story.

In part 2, I've been debating how to tell the story. My initial feeling was to go with third person-omniscient or third person-limited, but lately, I've been thinking of experimenting with stream of consciousness.

The reason why I want to do this is so that the reader can see the thoughts of the protag and actually feel what she feels. Another thing is that they can see the world only through the prism of her drug-addicted mind. The protag herself eventually loses touch with reality and slips into an elaborate fantasy world. With SOC narrative, the reader is also unaware of whether what they are reading is real or part of her delusion. That is an effect I want to pull off.

The challenge is that since chapter 1 is in third person limited, it is only natural I continue that trend. Also, there is the small matter of writing a first person narrative of a woman (something I haven't been able to do very well).

Basically what I want is a "best of both" narrative. I want to write third person limited, but also keep the reader guessing about whether what they are reading is real or not. I also want to describe her thoughts, anguish and struggle, but again using (she/her) rather than (I/me).

Any bits of advice from ye bunch of seasoned wordsmiths?

 

[oggbashan]

Write two versions of chapter 2. Make sure you save both as separate files.

The first should be a continuation in the same POV as Chapter 1. The second, as your proposed stream of consciousness.

Print them off, leave them overnight, and read them the next day.

Which works best?

 

[sr71plt]

You can change perspective from section to section. The best way to see if it works in a specific instance is to do it and then take a look at it.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Death where is thy sting.

Read Virginia Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway (if you haven't already done so). Orlando is more fun but Mrs. Dalloway is female POV stream of c. Imagine it dark and tortuous instead of light and tinkling.

(Buries head under several pillows with loud groan.)

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Okay so I've submitted part 1 of a 3 part story.

In part 2, I've been debating how to tell the story. My initial feeling was to go with third person-omniscient or third person-limited, but lately, I've been thinking of experimenting with stream of consciousness.

The reason why I want to do this is so that the reader can see the thoughts of the protag and actually feel what she feels. Another thing is that they can see the world only through the prism of her drug-addicted mind. The protag herself eventually loses touch with reality and slips into an elaborate fantasy world. With SOC narrative, the reader is also unaware of whether what they are reading is real or part of her delusion. That is an effect I want to pull off.

The challenge is that since chapter 1 is in third person limited, it is only natural I continue that trend. Also, there is the small matter of writing a first person narrative of a woman (something I haven't been able to do very well).

Basically what I want is a "best of both" narrative. I want to write third person limited, but also keep the reader guessing about whether what they are reading is real or not. I also want to describe her thoughts, anguish and struggle, but again using (she/her) rather than (I/me).

Any bits of advice from ye bunch of seasoned wordsmiths?

Hemingway suggested writing the first draft with masculine pronouns, then write the second draft using feminine pronouns. He was prolly more right than not.

 

[Handley_Page]

Death where is thy sting.

(Buries head under several pillows with loud groan.)

So you should, quoting WW1 songs;

Death where is thy sting?
Oh Grave, thy victory,
the bells of Hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling
for you and not for me.

 

[sr71plt]

So you should, quoting WW1 songs;

Death where is thy sting?
Oh Grave, thy victory,

I didn't realize that George Handel's Messiah was a WWI song.

(see 1 Corinthians 15:55)

 

[oggbashan]

I didn't realize that George Handel's Messiah was a WWI song.

(see 1 Corinthians 15:55)

Handel wasn't the only songwriter to use 1 Corinthians. The WW1 songwriter was less reverent.

 

[NoJo]

Hi.

If you already know that it's a three-part story, then presumably you've planned it out to some extent and have the forward narrative clear in your mind.

I've read and enjoyed a number of stories which use the distorted viewpoint of a delusional protagonist -- the effect can be comic, terrifying or simply a pleasing exercise in detection ("I know what he thinks is going on, but what is actually going on?) . I've also written stories in this mode.

If you do use that viewpoint have to have a very clear idea of both the foreword narrative and also the subjective narrative, and make sure you don't confuse the reader. If you think you're up to that, I'd give it a go.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Handel wasn't the only songwriter to use 1 Corinthians. The WW1 songwriter was less reverent.

I am delighted to join John Donne, George Handel and British airmen of WWI in misappropriating 1 Corinthians and I promise not to edit the chapter with a lot of pillows on my head, even though the prospect of following Katrina's stream of consciousness is already making me laugh through a glass (of single malt whisky) darkly.

Nojo's advice looks good to me.

 

[sr71plt]

Handel wasn't the only songwriter to use 1 Corinthians.

Apparently not, but at the moment it's that alto solo that's tracking through my brain. I'm not complaining, though, as it replaced the theme song of the Flintstones.

 

[sr71plt]

I am delighted to join John Donne, George Handel and British airmen of WWI in misappropriating 1 Corinthians and I promise not to edit the chapter with a lot of pillows on my head, even though the prospect of following Katrina's stream of consciousness is already making me laugh through a glass (of single malt whisky) darkly.

Nojo's advice looks good to me.

I wonder if those guys wore condoms when they were writing 1st Corinthians (I think Paul would have recommended that they do).

 

[NaokoSmith]

I wonder if those guys wore condoms when they were writing 1st Corinthians (I think Paul would have recommended that they do).

I think St. Paul's line was, OMG, if you really HAVE to do it, at least let it be in the bounds of holy matrimony but it's best to refrain completely and go for total chastity. I wonder if he would have felt it best to wrap yourself in a couple of dead sea scrolls first or save the disgusting act for the purposes of procreation, isn't there a line in one of the Christian marriage services about, I'll only do it because I want to beget more worshippers of the one true God? (Bad Buddhist and failed to get myself honourably married off, know little about these things!)