Strap On

[DenverZeppo]

I've long been very anal curious, both in giving to my girlfriend and receiving from her in the form of a strap on. I was always comfortable enough with her to tell her about the former, but just recently became comfortable enough to tell her about the latter.

She won't even consider the idea of anal sex, me taking her, because of a size issue. She's apparently very afraid that I would lose control inside of her and tear her up. She's the fourth girl to tell me it's just too big to let me put it there.

It doesn't change the fact that I really want her to do it to me. So, I'm asking for advice...

Where do we start? How big a strap on do we buy? Do I need to do anything to prepare for it...etc...etc...

Share you experiences and help me out.

Also, if you have things you can share that will make it so I can do it to her without causing a lot of pain, share that too. I would like to take her there, as well as give myself to her, but she's very afraid of the pain.

I mean, when we buy a strap on we'll have some control over the size of what she puts in me. I can't change the size of what I want to put in her though, so I need ideas on how to reduce the pain.

Thanks,
Zep

 

[Cardinal]

Toys?

Do you two have any other toys? You may want to start by getting a set of butt plugs, start with the small and move up. This should give you a good idea of what size you want. Even get two different size dildos to try, one that you know won't cause pain and one that is maybe a little bigger. The more you play the more you will be able to take and enjoy.
If your gf is willilng it sounds like you have a pretty good thing going there!
Good Luck



Oh yeah, and this probably goes without saying because it is brought up on every anal thread, USE A LOT OF LUBE! and when you think you are using a lot, use a little more, it's cheap.

 

[pandoravampire]

go to the bathroom first is a good tip.

encourage her to read, so that she then knows that your cock is incapable of 'tearing her up inside', well, unless youve a dodgy Prince Albert i guess. And go slow, very slow.
Backing up onto a something is easier sometimes.
Pushing down, as if on the loo if it gets painful helps too for some dumb reason i cant fathom.

 

[DenverZeppo]

We have not yet gotten to the point where we know if she is willing yet...in either direction. Hence, these posts so we can see what we can learn and hear from people.

Keep them coming folks...advice...stories...opinions...any help you can offer is appreciated...

Zep

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

If this is your first time with anal I would agree with what was said ealier. Start with and average 6 to 8 inch. medium girth. After a few times you may want a thicker girth but you can get that later once she is comfortable.

Stay away from the strapons with a spongy feel to them. They have the worst time of getting penetration. I bought one of those spongey ones on a whim and it sits in my chest collecting dust.

Also look for something that has somethign for her as well as you. This will help her get off when she is being intoxicated by the thought that she is the one being the dominating one.

 

[Crimson]

you might want to check out "The Girl's Guide to Anal Sex" by Tristan Taormino. She's smart, saavy, and very down to earth about putting all kinds of things in your ass or your partner's ass. Read it together.

I agree with Cardinal - start with toys and move small to large as you both get more comfortable. What about just getting lots of lube and slowly sliding your fingers in and out of each other?

I'd hold off on investing in a strap-on until you've experimented a little first. If you're ready to have things in your ass and she's not, tell her how much you'd like for her to try certain things on you ("I'd love if you put your fingers in my ass"). Tell her how hot it would be if she slid a small plug in your ass. Once she sees how much you're enjoying it (And that it's not hurting you) she might want to give it a try.

Be open as possible about what you like while respecting her limits.

crimson

 

[SweetErika]

Have you tried using fingers and toys on her? I was afraid of my husband's penis, but once we worked our way up to a vibe that was bigger than he was, I realized it would be fine. You might want to try playing with a series of progressively larger vibes (start really small and don't get rough). Check out The Blank Manual at the top of this forum for suggestions.

Also, you may want to consider that using the term "taking her" has a connotation of force for many people. It may add to her fear that you're going to hurt her and not stop if she wants you to. Anal requires a huge amount of love, trust, and communication. She has to know you won't do anything that will hurt her and will stop immediately if she feels uncomfortable for any reason.

Third, if she thinks it will hurt, it's going to. Take baby steps and don't push the issue. Ask her to help you make your strap-on fantasy a reality, but don't insist on doing her. Her fears aren't unfounded either...anal can cause damage if it's not done correctly, so take some time, develop trust, and if she's still unwilling, let it go.