rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2002
- Posts
- 42,431
I thought that you gay fellows (with whom I cast my lot!!) might appreciate this bit of reportage from the other side.
I am a construction worker on a big bridge. Today the coffee break topic was "the New Gay High School" (this fuckin school has been around for years; I am not sure why there is all this hype about it being "new"). From there, the conversation moved to homosexuality in general. And then finally, and most interestingly, to the topic that is the invariable end of all conversations amongst construction workers regarding the gays: The Too-Late-Detected-Transvestite. Is it fear? Secret lust? Several tales were told , but here is the one that stuck with me.
"Back in the day, me and my friends used to hang out at this hip hop club in the Meatpacking District. One night we were all there getting fucked up and my friend Nestor hooked up with this hot black bitch. The whole night, he was snappin on us because we were more interested in smoking weed and drinking and none of us had any chicks. All night, dancing with this chick and kissing all over her neck and looking at us like (*imitates butch Latino post-teen doing a slow-hump-from-the-rear-dance-while-looking-over-his-shoulder-at-friends-who-are-sitting-girlless-at-the-bar-as-if-to-say-"You losers"*) So, anyway, around 3 we were all hanging outside smoking bones and trippin on the bitches walking into the spot and Nestor comes out with this smokin black bitch hangin all over him and says (*breathing in ear*) "Yo, Joe, I'm gonna take shorty across the street to the hotel and bang her, but I'll be back in like half an hour. Don't go back to the Bronx without me". So , he goes into this hotel and we are just hanging out getting fucked up. About 15 minutes later, all of a sudden, all these copcars pull up. We are laughing our ass off, thinking this is some kind of crack hotel and Nestor is gonna get locked up in a sweep. So we are watching the front door after the cops run in. Next thing you know, they are carrying the black bitch out on a stretcher. Her face is all lumped to shit. We are looking at each other like "what the fuck!?!". Then they come out with Nestor. (*imitates man walking bent over in utter shame, hands manacled behind back*). We go "what the fuck, man?" but they throw him in the car. I asked one of the cops "that's my man. What's goin on?"
"Your man is going to jail. Assault One and Gay Bashing."
I tried to ask him what happened but he said "I'm the cop and you're not. Beat it." (*exaggerated Bronx Italian "whatever-you-say-my-man" face*) I went over to the cop car right as it was pulling away and asked Nestor what the fuck happened, but he wouldn't look me in the eye. He just said "I'm ruined".
A couple weeks later, Nestor got out of jail and told me the story. "Joe, this fuckin bitch was all over me all night. She had the nicest ass I ever saw. So, when I got her up in the room, I just wanted to hit it, nut and head back to the Bronx with you all. SO we are there in the room and she's suckin it and suckin it. I tell her I want to fuck her and she goes face down and pulls up her dress and says "I like it in the ass". I'm goin FUCK, straight for the shitter! This bitch is a freak! So I put the condom on and stick it in and it goes in REAL easy. "(*slow, heavy, suave humping-doggy-style-movements*)
At this point, Joe reverts to his own voice to tell the story in third person. "So then he reaches around to play with the pussy, you know? And fuck me if he doesn't get a handful of BALLS!. He's kinda groping around, in shock, you know? Trying to see if maybe the bitch doesn't just have a huge set of pussy lips..."
(at this point, old Jamaican welder interjects in patois accent "t'could be one a dem hermaphrodites, ye know....")
"...and he runs right into a fuckin DICK. AND the bitch got a woody. Bitch had cock and balls!!!! So he jumps up, grabs the lamp off the bedside table and beats her head with it. He went to jail and when he got out, no one ever heard from him again."
(long heavy pause. Everyone looking at boots, contemplating the heinousness of fooled into faggotry in such an easy and heinous manner.)
"...man, he'd been tongue kissin all over it all night long. I saw it with my own two eyes. Man, I'd cut my tounge out."
I am a construction worker on a big bridge. Today the coffee break topic was "the New Gay High School" (this fuckin school has been around for years; I am not sure why there is all this hype about it being "new"). From there, the conversation moved to homosexuality in general. And then finally, and most interestingly, to the topic that is the invariable end of all conversations amongst construction workers regarding the gays: The Too-Late-Detected-Transvestite. Is it fear? Secret lust? Several tales were told , but here is the one that stuck with me.
"Back in the day, me and my friends used to hang out at this hip hop club in the Meatpacking District. One night we were all there getting fucked up and my friend Nestor hooked up with this hot black bitch. The whole night, he was snappin on us because we were more interested in smoking weed and drinking and none of us had any chicks. All night, dancing with this chick and kissing all over her neck and looking at us like (*imitates butch Latino post-teen doing a slow-hump-from-the-rear-dance-while-looking-over-his-shoulder-at-friends-who-are-sitting-girlless-at-the-bar-as-if-to-say-"You losers"*) So, anyway, around 3 we were all hanging outside smoking bones and trippin on the bitches walking into the spot and Nestor comes out with this smokin black bitch hangin all over him and says (*breathing in ear*) "Yo, Joe, I'm gonna take shorty across the street to the hotel and bang her, but I'll be back in like half an hour. Don't go back to the Bronx without me". So , he goes into this hotel and we are just hanging out getting fucked up. About 15 minutes later, all of a sudden, all these copcars pull up. We are laughing our ass off, thinking this is some kind of crack hotel and Nestor is gonna get locked up in a sweep. So we are watching the front door after the cops run in. Next thing you know, they are carrying the black bitch out on a stretcher. Her face is all lumped to shit. We are looking at each other like "what the fuck!?!". Then they come out with Nestor. (*imitates man walking bent over in utter shame, hands manacled behind back*). We go "what the fuck, man?" but they throw him in the car. I asked one of the cops "that's my man. What's goin on?"
"Your man is going to jail. Assault One and Gay Bashing."
I tried to ask him what happened but he said "I'm the cop and you're not. Beat it." (*exaggerated Bronx Italian "whatever-you-say-my-man" face*) I went over to the cop car right as it was pulling away and asked Nestor what the fuck happened, but he wouldn't look me in the eye. He just said "I'm ruined".
A couple weeks later, Nestor got out of jail and told me the story. "Joe, this fuckin bitch was all over me all night. She had the nicest ass I ever saw. So, when I got her up in the room, I just wanted to hit it, nut and head back to the Bronx with you all. SO we are there in the room and she's suckin it and suckin it. I tell her I want to fuck her and she goes face down and pulls up her dress and says "I like it in the ass". I'm goin FUCK, straight for the shitter! This bitch is a freak! So I put the condom on and stick it in and it goes in REAL easy. "(*slow, heavy, suave humping-doggy-style-movements*)
At this point, Joe reverts to his own voice to tell the story in third person. "So then he reaches around to play with the pussy, you know? And fuck me if he doesn't get a handful of BALLS!. He's kinda groping around, in shock, you know? Trying to see if maybe the bitch doesn't just have a huge set of pussy lips..."
(at this point, old Jamaican welder interjects in patois accent "t'could be one a dem hermaphrodites, ye know....")
"...and he runs right into a fuckin DICK. AND the bitch got a woody. Bitch had cock and balls!!!! So he jumps up, grabs the lamp off the bedside table and beats her head with it. He went to jail and when he got out, no one ever heard from him again."
(long heavy pause. Everyone looking at boots, contemplating the heinousness of fooled into faggotry in such an easy and heinous manner.)
"...man, he'd been tongue kissin all over it all night long. I saw it with my own two eyes. Man, I'd cut my tounge out."
