Story: The Imagine Chronicles

[Mertius]

Hi, I'm a new author here at chyoo. I have been reading stories here for some time, and one day I suddenly had an idea of my own. I already have the inspiration to write a nicely written story of a decent length but I want to know what others think of it (and contribute to it if possible).

The Imagine Chronicles

Please tell me if you guys like my story and anything I might need to know to make it better, and everyone is welcome to create new threads if you really want to =)

If you want to write something, please start on page 3 of the story though, I really don't know how to block a certain path after something's been written on it and a 10 page long story on a text editor would have overwhelmed anyone if they suddenly stumbled on a single page of that size.

 

[GoodBoy741]

The first several paragraphs feel like filler. Writing stuff like "I might make this into a book someday," doesn't tell us anything about the character, doesn't advance the plot, and doesn't do anything else.

I think you'd be better off cutting that out and skipping to when the story actually starts. That seems to be "The first day it was really exciting, getting a teacher that hot."

 

[Mertius]

After rereading it again, I noticed that it's true, the first few paragraphs do feel like a filler so I decided to eliminate them. I think that the paragraph before the quote you said should stay there though, since it's more like a sort of "intentional filler" the main character might use in this situation. I know it happened to me sometimes when one of the teachers I didn't like made me write stories, we used to get detention if we couldn't write 200 words for each class, so almost everyone resorted to fillers like that one.
This is the only "filler" I planned to use on this page, and the only one I think should be included in this story.

Thanks for pointing that out to me!

 

[GoodBoy741]

Fair enough. My natural impulse is to cut everything to the bone, so sometimes I lose too much flavor.

 

[Mertius]

As I was writing I found I had a few questions to ask, since I couldn't find any real "help" forum at the chyoo forum and the chyoo faq on the site doesn't have them, I decided to put them here.

I have a habit of drawing the characters I write about, so I was wondering if I could upload some of the things I drew into a web server and put the links in my story.

Also, I wanted to know how to lock a thread. I wish to lock the first few threads so that they serve as a sort of introduction to my story, but I forgot to do t with the +intro page when I first created it, so I don't really know how to do it now. I tried putting the "continuing" thread option at no but it still showed me the "new thread" option.

 

[BenjiDude]

As far as I'm aware there are no rules stating that you can't post images to threads, however it will only appear as an html text link (so the image won't actually appear). So as long as you can find a place online that will allow you post images of a potential adult nature then go for it.