Story research

[Tink_A_Bella]

Hi all

I hope i've come to the right place.

I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment (for both their pleasures of course) but as whips, crops, paddles & canes are not something I'm familar with I was hoping for a few pointers as to how they feel, whats good & why so I can make the descriptive a little more real.

Any help woule be greatly apreciated.
Thank you.

Tink

 

[Keroin]

Hi all

I hope i've come to the right place.

I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment (for both their pleasures of course) but as whips, crops, paddles & canes are not something I'm familar with I was hoping for a few pointers as to how they feel, whats good & why so I can make the descriptive a little more real.

Any help woule be greatly apreciated.
Thank you.

Tink

Hi Tink,

This is a very broad question, which is why I think you've gotten no responses so far. As someone who has mined this community for story research purposes, I can tell you you'll find no better or friendlier helpers than in this forum. However, you need to be more specific.

I would limit your question to perhaps one item and even one type of item - there are many, many kinds of whips, for example.

Most importantly, you need to do some basic research on your own before you come here looking for answers. No one is very willing to help writers who don't respect them enough to do fundamental homework. Read some BDSM stories on Lit, peruse the library, then come back if you still have questions.

Also, have a read through this forum and in the cafe. This is a wonderful group of folks and you're likely to come across much that will change your view on what you thought BDSM was.

p.s. I'd also fix up your spelling and grammar, particularly if you are introducing yourself as a writer - some folks, (myself included), can be very picky about that stuff.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Most importantly, you need to do some basic research on your own before you come here looking for answers. No one is very willing to help writers who don't respect them enough to do fundamental homework. Read some BDSM stories on Lit, peruse the library, then come back if you still have questions.

<snip>

p.s. I'd also fix up your spelling and grammar, particularly if you are introducing yourself as a writer - some folks, (myself included), can be very picky about that stuff.

Hi all,

I hope i've come to the right place.

I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment (for both their pleasures, of course) but as whips, crops, paddles & canes are not something I'm familar with I was hoping for a few pointers as to how they feel, whats good & why, so I can make the descriptive a little more real.

Any help woule be greatly apreciated.
Thank you.

Tink

What Keroin said... and what I specifically pointed out in your original post. Since I'm one of the meanest of the BDSMF Grammar Nazis, your OP completely turned me off.

 

[Keroin]

What Keroin said... and what I specifically pointed out in your original post. Since I'm one of the meanest of the BDSMF Grammar Nazis, your OP completely turned me off.

He's very mean. Scares the heck outta me! *Points to knees knocking together*

p.s. What does the F stand for in BDSMF?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

He's very mean. Scares the heck outta me! *Points to knees knocking together*

p.s. What does the F stand for in BDSMF?

Forum

 

[SimonBrooke]

Hi all

I hope i've come to the right place.

I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment (for both their pleasures of course) but as whips, crops, paddles & canes are not something I'm familar with I was hoping for a few pointers as to how they feel, whats good & why so I can make the descriptive a little more real.

Any help woule be greatly apreciated.
Thank you.

Tink

OK, I can only give you one side of this, because I've never been on the receiving end of a serious sexual thrashing (nor do I want to be). Some people of both genders clearly do want to be, and I'm glad that this is so...

Spanking with the hand tends to redden the skin of the buttocks but (in my experience) rarely leaves bruises. The reddening is a result of blood filling vessels close under the skin (in effect, blushing) and also causes the skin to get very warm - you can feel heat radiate off it. Spanking hurts both the spankee and the spanker - probably hurts the spankee more, but if you're seriously spanking someone the palm of your hand is going to sting. I don't have experience of hand-spanking anyone other than on her arse, so I can't say what the effects are elsewhere on the body.

Hitting people with things is a bit different. The effect appears to vary with the area of the impact and the force of the impact, as you'd expect. Large flat hitting things which spread the impact over a considerable area and tend to lead to reddening as with spanking but no subsequent bruising. Narrow belts (and probably also whips) tend to cause the area of impact to puff and swell quite rapidly, so you can create a pattern of raised weals; this puffing occurs most noticeably on the buttocks and breasts, areas where there's plenty of fatty tissue under the skin. Again, these weals tend to colour and heat. On some people these weals will fade to quite long lasting bruises, and some people don't show the raised puffy weals at all, but just bruise. The other benefit of using a belt, whip or flogger is it doesn't hurt the person administering the blows!

The effect of deliberately hitting key sexual nerve areas (clitoris, nipples) varies from person to person. Some people find it extremely erotic; others find it extremely horrible.

I find both the heated skin after a spanking, and the raised weals after a whipping, extremely tactile and sensuous (fortunately, so too do most of those people who enjoy being hit in a sexual context). I also find seeing bruises I've inflicted on a lover sensuous and sexy.

 

[Tink_A_Bella]

I'm using my mobile (cell phone) and clicked post rather than preview.
Please read the subsequent post.
My apologies - Tink.

 

[Tink_A_Bella]

What Keroin said... and what I specifically pointed out in your original post. Since I'm one of the meanest of the BDSMF Grammar Nazis, your OP completely turned me off.

Sorry about the mistakes, i'm a lot more fussy in my stories, however my wireless on my laptop has just broken, so i am posting these from my mobile (cell phone) or my PSP. Neither of them are easy to write with.

 

[Tink_A_Bella]

This is a very broad question, which is why I think you've gotten no responses so far. As someone who has mined this community for story research purposes, I can tell you you'll find no better or friendlier helpers than in this forum. However, you need to be more specific.

I would limit your question to perhaps one item and even one type of item - there are many, many kinds of whips, for example.

Hi Keroin, thanks for the reply.
I think i'm showing a little of my naivety here.
To give people more of an idea what I'm looking for, neither of the characters have ever been in a D/s relationship before & they are discovering it together. Initially the punishment will be spontaneous using a belt. I dont want it to be harsh, more about the act of being punished rather than the punishment itself.

Most importantly, you need to do some basic research on your own before you come here looking for answers. No one is very willing to help writers who don't respect them enough to do fundamental homework. Read some BDSM stories on Lit, peruse the library, then come back if you still have questions.

I've read a lot of BDSM stories on Lit and I would like one of the current stories I am writing to move in that direction.
I am very aware that I have no personal experience of this lifestyle (I am in a very vanilla relationship of my own & would not change it for the world) but in moving my characters towards a D/s relationship I would like to explore the sexualy submissive side of my personality.
Although reading BDSM on Lit has given me much insight I didn't want to base the description of being spanked/whipped on stories I had read, as I dont know what is realistic. Thats why I've come here for help.

Hopefully I've given people here a better picture of my request. As I pointed out earlier I have no prior experience of this lifestyle, & I hope I haven't offended anyone in my naivety.

Tink.

P.S. Apologies for the quality, its posted using my mobile (cell)

 

[Netzach]

Hi Keroin, thanks for the reply.
I think i'm showing a little of my naivety here.
To give people more of an idea what I'm looking for, neither of the characters have ever been in a D/s relationship before & they are discovering it together. Initially the punishment will be spontaneous using a belt. I dont want it to be harsh, more about the act of being punished rather than the punishment itself.

Belting, unless he's been practicing in secret, is a tough one. I think belts take actually quite a bit of coordination to make sexy and hot rather than too painful or not impactful enough. Maybe I'm just particularly klutzy, but that's my experience.

Now, if he doubles it, puts her over his lap and uses it, I'd buy in more.

A belt if used on me in a manner in which I'd want it used again will leave what SimonBrooke talked about, kind of a wide, pink, raised welt, but on my skin that tends neither to last long nor bruise unless I'm getting a 201 level beating, not a 101 level one.

 

[Netzach]

"P.S. Apologies for the quality, its posted using my mobile (cell)"

To whc i sa I'd hv snodfd lk tz.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Belting, unless he's been practicing in secret, is a tough one. I think belts take actually quite a bit of coordination to make sexy and hot rather than too painful or not impactful enough. Maybe I'm just particularly klutzy, but that's my experience.

Now, if he doubles it, puts her over his lap and uses it, I'd buy in more.

Agreed. A waist belt - the sort you use to keep your breeks up - is too long and too floppy to be used effectively as a tawse. It's better if doubled over. And do NOT use the buckle end!

A belt if used on me in a manner in which I'd want it used again will leave what SimonBrooke talked about, kind of a wide, pink, raised welt, but on my skin that tends neither to last long nor bruise unless I'm getting a 201 level beating, not a 101 level one.

I think people vary quite a lot in the way their skin responds to this sort of thing - some will show hardly any marks at all, and some will come up in huge weals.

 

[Qualm]

Agreed. A waist belt - the sort you use to keep your breeks up - is too long and too floppy to be used effectively as a tawse. It's better if doubled over. And do NOT use the buckle end!



I think people vary quite a lot in the way their skin responds to this sort of thing - some will show hardly any marks at all, and some will come up in huge weals.

I disagree! My black leather belt with light metal buckle is probably my favorite slappy thing to hit her with. You can use it several ways (doubled over, just the tip, just the buckle end) and it's almost always handy around my waist (makes a good brattiness-deterrent that way). It was an ex-subs absolute favorite, and my current partner has never complained or indicated she prefers our crop or leather paddle. Plus, when you're done slapping, you can wrap it around her chest (she's flattish and I'm fattish) for more fun as you fuck.

As long as you aren't too stupid about using the buckle-end as anything more than a teasing threat, belts are great.

 

[Netzach]

I use the whole belt and you can do anything with one, there are even some heavy masochists it COULD be appropriate to hit with the buckle, yes. (it's risk aware kink, indeedy)

(Beating someone with her/his OWN belt is delish)

my point is simply that fresh out the door I would have been comfortable using it in the manner I described. Controlling the floppy whippy part like a pro when you've never thought about hitting your lover would ring false.

 

[Keroin]

Hi Keroin, thanks for the reply.
I think i'm showing a little of my naivety here.
To give people more of an idea what I'm looking for, neither of the characters have ever been in a D/s relationship before & they are discovering it together. Initially the punishment will be spontaneous using a belt. I dont want it to be harsh, more about the act of being punished rather than the punishment itself.

P.S. Apologies for the quality, its posted using my mobile (cell)

OK, that's better. I think you'll receive many more responses now. One of the golden rules of research, in writing, when dealing with real people, is to make your questions as specific as possible. Better for you, easier for them. Naivete is fine but in this case I interpreted it as laziness, as I'm sure other people did, too.

Also, if you'd first explained you were sending from a phone, the spelling and grammar Nazis would have been forgiving.

Good luck with this.

Cheers - K

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... neither of the characters have ever been in a D/s relationship before & they are discovering it together. Initially the punishment will be spontaneous using a belt. I dont want it to be harsh, more about the act of being punished rather than the punishment itself.

<snip> Although reading BDSM on Lit has given me much insight I didn't want to base the description of being spanked/whipped on stories I had read, as I dont know what is realistic. Thats why I've come here for help.

Hopefully I've given people here a better picture of my request.

<snip> P.S. Apologies for the quality, its posted using my mobile (cell)

:: Nods :: Okay, this inquiry makes substantially more sense.

Presumably, the PYL would, as the punishment begins, make some sort of explanatory statement, e.g.:

John looked around the apartment and saw that little if anything had been done to straighten it, despite Mary's promise to spend the day working on it to make it more livable. "Come here, Mary," he said as he slowly withdrew his belt from its loops. "It's time you learned the consequences for your laziness."

Mary slowly approached him, apprehension growing swiftly in her eyes and transforming in an instant as he grasped her arm, seated himself and pulled her across his thighs. She gasped as she felt him lay the doubled-over wide leather belt across the small of her back and yank her slacks and panties down to her knees. "You'll count each stroke," he said, "from one to twenty."

Trembling, she felt him lift the belt, then heard the soft swish of its passage through the air. Smack! She sucked a breath in sharply as she realized that the belt's stroke had landed squarely across the center of her buttocks. It hurt, but at the same time she felt a tiny glow of warmth begin in the center of her body. "Count," he repeated.

"One..." Smack! Again, it hurt but it was tolerable, and that glowing spot warmed even more....​

Okay, I'm not gonna write it for you but guess-timating where you're headed from the information provided, that "glow" would probably increase into what you might describe as a sense of security, possession, blah blah...

Have fun.

And yes, knowing that your OP had come via phone, some of us might have been a bit more tolerant than we are of people posting on a full keyboard.

 

[SimonBrooke]

:: Nods :: Okay, this inquiry makes substantially more sense.

Presumably, the PYL would, as the punishment begins, make some sort of explanatory statement, e.g.:

John looked around the apartment and saw that little if anything had been done to straighten it, despite Mary's promise to spend the day working on it to make it more livable. "Come here, Mary," he said as he slowly withdrew his belt from its loops. "It's time you learned the consequences for your laziness."​

I think that depends entirely on your (and her) particular kink. When I've used pain games in sex - belts and whips and stuff - it's been entirely arbitrary, because I can. I've never been interested in the idea that the 'punishment' is 'justified', and only one of the women I've played such games with has.

Some people make a big scene about authority - and if it works for them, that's fine. But it would be quite wrong to assume that's the only way to play it.

 

[midwestyankee]

I think that depends entirely on your (and her) particular kink. When I've used pain games in sex - belts and whips and stuff - it's been entirely arbitrary, because I can. I've never been interested in the idea that the 'punishment' is 'justified', and only one of the women I've played such games with has.

Some people make a big scene about authority - and if it works for them, that's fine. But it would be quite wrong to assume that's the only way to play it.

In case you didn't notice, the original post began thusly: "I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment ..."

Any comments about the appropriateness, appeal, or propriety of using punishment in a D/s scene are irrelevant to the OP's stated intent and thus, not all helpful. Whenever possible, we like to treat people who come here with requests on the merits of the request and not on the basis of our own preferences.

 

[bakedbeams]

I will try to help, but can only give examples from my own relationship.

I enjoy the feeling of the stinging smacks, the heat, the increase in pain, the teasing. I love that when he is not pleased he doesnt speak, he just 'does'. I get very aroused when I am spanked, it reminds me that I am his, for me it is a reward aswell as used as a punishment. He likes to look at the marks, I find that arousing. He bites too and likes me to send him pics of my bruises.

When we are out in public he will smack/spank me if he is not pleased, I guess the way some ppl may give a child a quick smack on the butt. My knees actually go weak when that happens.

If I displease him in the bedroom, he will spank me as a punishment very hard and quiet a few times, until it really hurts. Later he likes to look at the red marks he has left. As they fade, he will smack me again to make more marks there.

He enjoys positioning me on the bed, moving my limbs until I am laid out as he likes. He will then be very gentle, and unexpectedly smack/bite me very hard he tells me doesnt bite or smack they are kisses.

I hope that helps

 

[Corylea]

In case you didn't notice, the original post began thusly: "I will be introducing one of my characters to a bit of punishment ..."

Any comments about the appropriateness, appeal, or propriety of using punishment in a D/s scene are irrelevant to the OP's stated intent and thus, not all helpful. Whenever possible, we like to treat people who come here with requests on the merits of the request and not on the basis of our own preferences.

The OP also said that she was extremely naive about the subject and wanted the input of experienced people. Many naive folks think that beating a lover -- or inducing some other sort of physical pain -- must be about punishment, because that's the only context in which they, themselves, have been hit. I think that pointing out that beating a lover doesn't have to be about punishment is useful.

When my husband and I first got together, 23 years ago, I asked him to spank me. He spanked me while saying, "You're a bad, bad girl."

"I am NOT," I said indignantly.

"Well, then, why am I spanking you?"

"Because I asked you to? Or if you want some sort of role-playing justification, to try to get information out of me or something. But not because I'm bad; I'm NOT bad."

Yes, some people react very negatively to being "punished," even though they enjoy being beaten. Also, most people who learn about BDSM from fiction think that all BDSM is D/S. It isn't. There are plenty of folks who are purely into bondage and plenty of others who like dishing out or receiving pain (or both ), without any D/S component. And of course, lots of us enjoy all three but without beatings being used as punishment. Some dominants even use them as a reward.

Belts are one of the favorite weapons of abusive parents, so experienced BDSM folks usually ask specifically about belts if they intend to use one. A person who enjoys the entire spectrum of paddles, floggers, canes, and crops can freak out -- or go for your throat -- if you use a belt on them, if they were abused with a belt as a kid.

People divide the sensations of a beating into two main types: "thud" and "sting." Thud is a deep, affects-the-muscles sort of pain, whereas sting is a just-on-the-skin kind of pain. Most novice bottoms -- and even many experienced bottoms -- find thud to be MUCH easier to take. Thud can feel like a hard massage, whereas sting, well, it takes a special person to appreciate sting.

When the average person hears the word "whip," they think of the sort of thing that Indiana Jones used in the movies. This is not what we're using in BDSM-land! Most "whips" that are used in BDSM are floggers -- a handle that has many strands attached to it. Floggers are most commonly made out of leather, but I've seen ones made out of string, rubber, and a variety of other things. Some people do use single-stranded whips -- called "singletails" in the BDSM world -- but they're much smaller and lighter than Indiana Jones' trusty friend. A singetail takes much more skill and practice to use effectively, and most tops who use "whips" start out with floggers. Many folks stay with floggers for their entire BDSM career, though singletails have been in fashion recently. I experienced a single-tail for the first time just a couple of years ago, when I was co-topped by my girlfriend and a friend of hers. I was face-down, so I couldn't see much of what was going on, and I turned to my girlfriend and said, "What's she hitting me with that feels like acid rain?" "Single-tail," my girlfriend said.

It's counter-intuitive, but great big things that look scary tend to hurt a lot less than little bitty things that look harmless. If somebody hits you with a baseball bat, they're going to be dealing out thud, and the sensation will be spread out over a fairly large area. If somebody hits you with a cane that's maybe a quarter of an inch in diameter, all of the force will be concentrated on a tiny ribbon of skin. Teeny little floggers are usually more painful than a flogger that has an enormous handful of tresses (each individual strand of a flogger is a "tress").

Braided floggers tend to hurt a lot more and to bruise a lot more than floggers with flat tresses. One can be beaten fairly thoroughly with a flat-tressed flogger and just have a bit of a glow. If the tresses are braided, it would have to be wielded very lightly if one wanted no marks. A former top of mine had a flogger the like of which I've never seen anywhere else -- I wish I knew where he'd gotten it. The tresses weren't braided, but they were square in cross-section rather than being flat, and it hurt two or three times as much as a regular, flat-tressed flogger while appearing almost identical unless examined very closely. It left long, narrow bruises, and after one session with it, he said to me, "You look like you've got tire tracks on your back," and indeed, it looked rather like that.

Hitting someone in the exact same spot over and over again is much more painful than spreading the blows over a wider area, and while that seems intuitively obvious, the effect of hitting someone in the same place over and over is much larger than is intuitively obvious. It's a favorite technique of serious sadists, and it's something that most experienced players stay away from unless they're trying to either piss off their bottom or achieve more pain with less effort.

Which brings us to the distinction between "top toys" and "bottom toys." A "top toy" is one that has a substantial effect on the bottom while requiring little effort from the top -- canes and skinny floggers are in this category. "Bottom toys" are ones that are easier to take than other toys but that require a lot of effort from the top -- huge floggers with many thuddy tresses fall into this category. (I knew a very strong guy who had a moosehide flogger, and not only was the damned thing HUGE, but it was extremely thuddy. Everyone who bottomed to it loved it, but it took a fairly strong person to wield the thing.)

Most non-BDSM people expect that people will be beaten on the butt, and that's certainly one of the favorite spots. Many bottoms find, though, that they can take more on their upper back than they can on their butts, and in the circles I run in, if one agrees to flog a relative stranger at a party, it's assumed that the flogging will be on the back unless people say otherwise.

Every bottom I've ever known has been proud of their marks. I've had people eagerly show me their bruises, and I've eagerly shown mine. I enjoy using nails and teeth (er, FINGERnails, not the kind one builds houses with ), and I've left some fairly dramatic marks on people using only my nails. Digging one's nails into the upper back of one's bottom, then dragging them all the way down the back, provides an intense, predatory sensation for the top and a deliciously scratchy feeling for the bottom.

Well, this has gotten way too long already, so I'll stop. If you have questions, though, feel free to PM me.

 

[bakedbeams]

Belts are one of the favorite weapons of abusive parents, so experienced BDSM folks usually ask specifically about belts if they intend to use one. A person who enjoys the entire spectrum of paddles, floggers, canes, and crops can freak out -- or go for your throat -- if you use a belt on them, if they were abused with a belt as a kid.


Thankyou for mentioning that Corylea. Tink I cant handle having anything other than a hand for that reason.

Had never really thought that much about it, till I read your post.

 

[MisterSir]

Excuse me, taking the topic on a stroll down Tangent Avenue for one second.

"P.S. Apologies for the quality, its posted using my mobile (cell)"

To whc i sa I'd hv snodfd lk tz.

What in the hell is "snodfd" meant to be?

 

[Netzach]

Excuse me, taking the topic on a stroll down Tangent Avenue for one second.



What in the hell is "snodfd" meant to be?

sound as typed on a mobile by me.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Excuse me, taking the topic on a stroll down Tangent Avenue for one second.



What in the hell is "snodfd" meant to be?

sound as typed on a mobile by me.

You type funny on a mobile.

 

[Netzach]

You type funny on a mobile.

I can't begin to tell the world how much I hate hate hate small devices. I am a keyboard size queen.