Story: Auction

[remfan55]

http://www.chyoo.net/?action=story_display&story=27

I think this was a really good starting thread but it hasn't gotten much attention. Anybody interested?

 

[Zingiber]

Develop it a bit?

A common piece of advice for a new story that's just one or two pages is for the author to develop it a bit.

What a little development shows is:

* The creator is interested in it.
* Some plot directions to follow.
* Some indication of the style of story and how the interactions or choices might go.

This can help encourage potential writers, who then have a better sense of the story.

So it might be good to add a few threads of the style you'd like to see more of. I could imagine you writing a thread for each girl (or just a couple of them), going through a little bit of interaction at the market with her new master questioning and examining her to show her personality and give a sense of how the master and new slave might interact. This might have worked in a brief form for the introductory thread.

The follow-up question from each girl's introduction might suggest deciding whether to train up some good point, discipline away some weak point, or enjoy her either publicly or privately. The story would probably feel more alive if the decision question could be hooked to some action or some descriptive details within the thread.

Another common suggestion is to contribute threads to stories where you like the author's style or ideas, and invite them to look at your story and contribute.

Chyoo.NET is also fairly new and quiet, so promoting a new story here in the discussion boards is a very good idea.

Best of luck with your new story,

-Zingiber