Stop Clipping Your Wings~~by americandemon...please read!!!

[dragonhearted]

I find it to be timely...


You are everything I've always wanted in a mate.
If you could change your hair color that would be great.
My dear you seem to have gained some weight and gotten fat.
I love you but you better lose the weight or I'm gone and that will be that.

You are my soulmate my one and only true love just put me through some tests.
I think I could love you more if you had bigger breasts.
Make all these changes and I will be forever yours.
Forgot to mention make sure you keep the house clean and do all the chores.

So many women make the changes so their mate will love them more.
If a man truly loves a woman she is perfection and she is all he will adore.
All these beautiful angels getting operations and I beg you to stop clipping your wings.
You are perfection to me and other males so fly to us and let us treat you like queens.
*******************************************

I think this poem beared to have a thread of its own. The thread that he created seemed to have no effect, and was taken over by other poetry. Whether or not he said it was ok to do what you wanted, he wanted a response to his poem. Of course, I did not read the WHOLE thread...but I caught the general tone.

I personally think that this gentleman is sensitive, caring and vulnerable. He opens his heart in his poetry. Yes---I DID read ALL of it! The very first one (about the boy and the man) yes it was graphic, but it also set the background...showed all the pain under all the raunchiness that he may exhibit. His erotic type poetry is more of bdsm nature, but I understand it....hell...I was even aroused by it.

My point? I think rather than brushing this man aside because of this "whining" I have been hearing about, I think one should take the time to get to know him.

JMHO

Suzi

 

[WickedEve]

Well, I think we were too enthusiastic with our welcome. We shouldn't have treated him that way for, at least, another month. The more we know someone, the worse we are. Actually, I did post a link to his poem and then I asked him to post it in the thread so we could discuss it. But I guess that got lost in all the posts.
I read his poem as soon as it went online. I understood that he was trying to get a message across. I applaud him for that. But honestly, as far as poetry goes, it needs some work. And that's what we are all here for -- to learn how to improve our poetry.
I do know that least one person commented on the other thread. I think he/she said the poem was too preachy. I think since this is a more serious poem, the rhyme doesn't do much to emphasize its serious tone.
I think the idea behind the poem makes it worth ad's time to continue working on it. Some of us will work on a particular poem for days or weeks.
I'm going to check out your story, AD. Don't give up on poetry. You write as well or better than some of us when we first got here.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

I too have read all of AD's poetry. Stop clipping your wings is good, it really sends a message that not all men are the pigs they seem to be LOL. Still, my favorite is A boy's lessons A Man's Scars. Please keep writing Ad.
Wicked

 

[Guest]

I also read the poem just after it posted (and yes, we teased him to the point of distraction on his original thread) tee hee

I liked the poem - I think it is a bit preachy (his heart's in the right place) but I sent him favorable comments. He was very gracious in reply.

 

[Killswitch]

AD,
I would make a few changes too.....But I dug the poem!
By all means and methods.....Keep Writing!

Killswitch