Steve&Cassie(Closed)

[waits2play]

Steve


I was pleased to see that Cassie did not appear too upset about her test results. For her sake I hoped it could be something as simple as proper nutrition and rest. When I asked if we could go somewhere and talk, she responded.


”Sure.. if you’re up to it. Shouldn’t you be resting?
What did the doctor say?”


”He gave me some antibiotics to take for a couple of days and said I couldn’t drink alcohol while I was taking the medication. Keep the hand clean and change the dressing daily.”

Cassie asked ”Are we finished here yet? I don't like hospitals."

That was fine with me; I didn’t like doctor’s offices or hospitals either. Since our breakfast was interrupted, I suggested we walk a few doors down to a café and get lunch. I waited until after we had ordered to start a conversation.

”At breakfast, you had just asked me about the pictures in my wallet. I am a widower; I lost my wife and daughter a few years ago in a senseless accident. The photos could be duplicated, but the messages on the back could not. You may have noticed my home life is somewhat reclusive. I’ve pretty much buried myself in my career since.”

I waited a moment for Cassie to assimilate what I had told her.

”I’m not telling this for sympathy, I want you to know whatever you need to know before you respond to what I will ask next. There is a great deal for us to learn about each other. I may be way out of line, and you tell me if I am. But, I feel that you’re on your own right now and unhappy. I think you could use an opportunity to evaluate your life and the options available to you.”

I took a deep breath while I waited to see her reaction. Would she slap me and storm out of the café? Had I gone too far, too soon? Before, she could respond I continued.

”I could use help readdressing my life, or more accurately getting back a life outside of my business. Please consider staying in my home for a while. I know you can help me and believe we can be of help to each other.”

Well, I’ve said it, I held my breath waiting for her to respond. I couldn’t begin to read her expression or anticipate what she would say or do next.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”He gave me some antibiotics to take for a couple of days and said I couldn’t drink alcohol while I was taking the medication.
Keep the hand clean and change the dressing daily.”

I nodded, reassured, glad that he had got help for his cut on time.
I realised it was a weight off my mind.

I stuffed the leaflets into a jacket pocket before Steve could see and carried the pills as we made our way outside. I was pleased to be away from that place.
I readily agreed to go to a café to get some lunch.
Now the trauma of the “visitor” and Steve’s wound was over, I was happy to relax for a short while, before making my next move.

We sat at a quiet corner table, away from the window. I was more than happy not to watch the “street life” go by. I picked at the menu and waited until Steve ordered and ordered the same.
I was being good already. “Hot meal once a day”
The doctor would be impressed!
I was going to say as little as possible to Steve about the doc’s findings!

As the waitress moved off, I eyed Steve curiously, wondering what it was he had to say.

”At breakfast, you had just asked me about the pictures in my wallet. I am a widower; I lost my wife and daughter a few years ago in a senseless accident. The photos could be duplicated, but the messages on the back could not. You may have noticed my home life is somewhat reclusive. I’ve pretty much buried myself in my career since.”

I didn’t know what to say.
No wonder he’d fought so hard for his wallet!
I felt terrible. I’d knifed him and after he had gone though so much!
He must have read part of what I was feeling by my expression, prompting him to continue;

”I’m not telling this for sympathy, I want you to know whatever you need to know before you respond to what I will ask next.

I watched him hesitate, and then continue, wondering what he intended to say.

”There is a great deal for us to learn about each other.
I may be way out of line, and you tell me if I am.
But, I feel that you’re on your own right now and unhappy.
I think you could use an opportunity to evaluate your life and the options available to you.”

Evaluate my life? Sure, but what options were available?
The street or … the street… was all I could see in front of me!

”I could use help readdressing my life, or more accurately getting back a life outside of my business.
Please consider staying in my home for a while.
I know you can help me and believe we can be of help to each other.”

I looked at him, unclear what he was asking, offering?
“…be of help … “?

I wound my fingers round the salt pot, then the pepper pot, seeking a diversion, whilst I tried to make sense of what he’d said.
Finally I looked up.

”This morning you accused me of not letting you explain.
I don’t know what it is that you want.
I can’t think of any way I can help you.
You have a housekeeper, do you want me to keep house until she’s back.
Or … “

I didn’t want to annoy or insult him, but I wanted to know where I stood.
I could only think of one possible “use” I might have.
I put a hand out to rest on his good hand.

”Steve … are u wanting sex?

I ask him breathlessly.
That wouldn't be an "unreasonable" demand in the circumstances, I thought.

Is that the type of “life outside business” you’re looking for?”

I watched his expression, not reassured or understanding what I saw there.
I blushed hotly and drew my hand away from his.

”I just don’t understand what you want from me… if you tell me honestly what you expect, what you want, then I’ll tell you what I think Steve … “

I looked up at him timidly, not wanting to anger him, but needing to know the true nature of his … proposition …

”It’s a very … kind offer, but … I can’t think of anything I could do to deserve your generosity … I’m fine looking out for myself, anyhow … “

I concluded, trying to reassure him that he needn’t feel obliged to help me further.

 

[waits2play]

At least she didn’t get up and walk out on me. But she did ask some good questions. I could only hope I had the right answers. Cassie may not admit it to herself, but she needs some help and I am in a position to help her.

”Cassie, I am not sure how to start answering your questions. Let me start with my needs. My business is my life. I have no family. It sounds silly, but I need to be needed. When you ask if I want sex, I assume you mean do I want or expect sex from you in return for staying in my home. No, I do not expect sex from you in return for favors. You are an attractive woman and I am proud to be seen with you. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there are times when I look at you and feel desires. But, I’m not foolish enough to think you’d have similar feelings about me.”

I paused to glance at those around us to see if anyone was witness to my embarrassment. This was more difficult than I could have imagined. I shifted uneasily in my chair.

”Sex is not what I meant by life outside of work. Purpose and value to another is what I meant by life outside of work."

I realized this was not going well, as she pulled away from me. I had failed to maintain closeness with my wife and daughter, maybe I wasn’t capable of being the person I wanted to be. Maybe I should excuse myself before I humiliated myself any further, or even worse embarrassed Cassie. My voice broke a little as I continued.

”I don’t know what to say. You asked about my housekeeper. I told you she was away visiting family. She is taking care of her sister, who has cancer, and is not doing well. If she looses her sister, she will stay on to help raise her sister’s children. If it helps you to have a purpose for being in my home, I’m sure we could reach an agreement. Please understand my invitation does not relate to this.’

OK, I just blew it on that one. I would really like to give her a purpose to start each day and an opportunity to prove to her self that she can be of value to others. But, is that the way it came across?

”You said if I could honestly tell you what I want so you could understand it; you would tell me what you think. I think you can see what I want and need, I want someone to help me open up and relate.”

I had not been maintaining eye contact, partly because I was embarrassed by my comments and also because I could be easily distracted by the haunting beauty and apparent loneliness I saw there. I looked into her eyes now.

”I’ve done my best to answer your questions and in the process I’ve shared more of my own demons than you care to know at this point. You also asked what I expected from you. If for reasons unknown to me you decide to accept my offer, I want you to be honest with me. I don’t expect you to immediately open your life, or your how you’ve reached this point in your life. I would like you to share your needs. You are a good person inside even though you hide it well. More important your health seems to be in jeopardy.’

I took a deep breath and slumped down in my chair. I had no idea how to move past this awkward moment.

”I (heavy sigh) I don’t know all of the reasons myself, that’s why I can’t explain it well. For some reason I feel a need for us to be part of each others live, at this time.”

My gaze shifted away and my arms dropped to my side. I felt I had failed to answer her questions. Failure was not something I was used to in my business life.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”Cassie, I am not sure how to start answering your questions.
Let me start with my needs. My business is my life. I have no family.
It sounds silly, but I need to be needed.”

I listened. It had been so long since I admitted any need.
If you didn’t need people, they couldn’t get to you.
It was the only way to survive. I wasn’t going to be good at that.

”When you ask if I want sex, I assume you mean do I want or expect sex from you in return for staying in my home.”

I nodded as he spoke watching him curiously, wondering if he’d be honest.

”No, I do not expect sex from you in return for favors.
You are an attractive woman and I am proud to be seen with you.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there are times when I look at you and feel desires. But, I’m not foolish enough to think you’d have similar feelings about me.”

I blushed. I thought I’d got him with that one.
If he’d told me no he didn’t want sex I could accuse him of lying or of thinking I wasn’t good enough for him and if he had wanted sex, well, at least I knew, but this!?
I didn’t know what to think, how to react.
He looked embarrassed as he continued.
It was clear he was being sincere.
Perhaps I didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
It was so much easier to mistrust him, to assume he was like all the rest.
I pulled away, almost frightened by his honesty.

”Sex is not what I meant by life outside of work.
Purpose and value to another is what I meant by life outside of work."

I nod again, but do not meet his eyes.
Why hadn’t he just said, "I want to fuck you Cassie.
I’ll clothe you for a while we’ll have fun then move on."?
There was something vulnerable about Steve that drew me to him.
But I didn’t want to be drawn!

”I don’t know what to say.
You asked about my housekeeper. I told you she was away visiting family.
She is taking care of her sister, who has cancer, and is not doing well.
If she looses her sister, she will stay on to help raise her sister’s children.
If it helps you to have a purpose for being in my home, I’m sure we could reach an agreement.
Please understand my invitation does not relate to this.’

It sounded as if he was grasping at straws.
He continued, his voice, soft, intense as he kept his head bowed and I watched.

”You said if I could honestly tell you what I want so you could understand it;
you would tell me what you think.
I think you can see what I want and need, I want someone to help me open up and relate.”

He raised his eyes to mine then, his expression, pained, embarrassed.
Mine were wide, questioning. He wanted “me” to help “him” open up?
If he hadn’t meant it so sincerely it would have been laughable!

”I’ve done my best to answer your questions and in the process I’ve shared more of my own demons than you care to know at this point.
You also asked what I expected from you. “

I nodded as his eyes held mine.

”If for reasons unknown to me you decide to accept my offer, I want you to be honest with me.
I don’t expect you to immediately open your life, or your how you’ve reached this point in your life.
I would like you to share your needs. “

I was sure I couldn’t do that.

”You are a good person inside even though you hide it well.”

I shook my head, looking away to hide the tears that started in my eyes.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone had said I was a “good” person.

”More important your health seems to be in jeopardy.”

I couldn’t speak.
I wanted to tell him I was fine, but the leaflets and tablets burned a hole in my pocket.
He was so wrong about me, about it all.
I was the wrong person to help him, but how could I convince him?

I looked up as he sighed.

”I - I don’t know all of the reasons myself, that’s why I can’t explain it well.
For some reason I feel a need for us to be part of each others live, at this time.”

I watched him, unable to make sense of my emotions.
I realised that his honesty, his openness scared me.
I knew that if I stayed with him for too long, I could find myself opening up and I couldn’t allow that.
I knew I could be drawn to him.
His story was tragic and he seemed vulnerable in his own way.
But I didn’t want to start caring for someone. I couldn’t afford to.

I looked up smiling a thank you and the waitress put the food before us and picked up a knife and fork. I looked over. Steve was still sat, arms at his side, watching, waiting.

I hesitated, before speaking haltingly.

”You are so.. so wrong Steve. I am not a good person and… I am so not the person to help you to need you … it wouldn’t work …. “

I watched as his face fell and ached to stay with him.

”I … I guess I could stay .. for a few days… maybe ‘til the end of the week… I could help you out ‘til your cut healed, help out whilst your housekeeper is gone … you can even feed me up so I'm better ... then… well… we could see how it goes and any time you want me out… you just say … you should realise by then how wrong you are about wanting me around … “

It was risky, but it was a compromise.
No false promises on my part, but I was willing to try... for a short time... it was the best I could offer.
But I was sure that if my words would not convince him that I was a "bad lot", then maybe having me around as he thought he wanted would.

I drag my attention away from Steve and begin to eat slowly.

 

[waits2play]

Steve

When I heard Cassie’s words:

”You are so... so wrong Steve. I am not a good person and… I am so not the person to help you to need you … it wouldn’t work …. “

I felt I lost my closest friend, sad to admit I couldn’t really count anyone as my closest friend must less a close relationship. But then she said:

”I … I guess I could stay... for a few days… maybe ‘til the end of the week… I could help you out ‘til your cut healed, help out whilst your housekeeper is gone … you can even feed me up so I'm better ... then… well… we could see how it goes and any time you want me out… you just say … you should realize by then how wrong you are about wanting me around … “

Well alright then. My hand was not injured enough to make me incapable of taking care of myself, nor was I incapable of taking care of the house during the housekeeper’s absence. But I wasn’t going to debate her reasons for agreeing to stay.

I picked at my food, trying to figure out what to say next.

”Cassie, I think you’re underestimating yourself. I can’t imagine anything in your past that would change my mind, but I’m willing to trust your judgment.”

I was doing my best to encourage her without intimidating her or scaring her off.

”I realize this is a big decision for you, you don’t know me that well and you only
have the time since last night to base your decision on. I am flattered that you are willing to consider staying for any length of time.”

I must have been smiling like the proverbial Cheshire cat as I reached to give her hand a gentle squeeze. Anxious to move on before she changed her mind, I asked:

”How do you feel about some light shopping after lunch? You could start by going over to the pharmacy and picking up any personal items you need, just show them my business card and they’ll put the charges on my account. I can start picking up some groceries at the market, and you could meet me there when you finish.’

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

I watched as Steve began to eat.

”Cassie, I think you’re underestimating yourself. I can’t imagine anything in your past that would change my mind, but I’m willing to trust your judgment.”

I grinned.

"Of course not. Nice girls try to rob you and cut you with a knife all the time huh?"

I muttered as I ate, half amused by his insistence and brushing off the sincerity of his statement.

”I realize this is a big decision for you, you don’t know me that well and you only have the time since last night to base your decision on.
I am flattered that you are willing to consider staying for any length of time.”

I looked at him curiously.
Anyone would think I'd done him a favour!
His hand closed over mine as I paused and squeezed my hand.
The gesture was intimate and communicated much more than the simple gesture should.
I held his gaze, then blushed disconcerted, before lowering my eyes to the half finished food on my plate.

”How do you feel about some light shopping after lunch?
You could start by going over to the pharmacy and picking up any personal items you need, just show them my business card and they’ll put the charges on my account.
I can start picking up some groceries at the market, and you could meet me there when you finish.’

I nodded, happy to do whatever he wanted.

"Sure, sounds fine... "

We finished lunch quickly and he handed over his card before setting off in search of the market.
I looked after him and ran my fingers over the card.
Was the man a total fool?
Did he realise what he'd just done?
I could clean him out with this?

I stood staring after him until I saw a half familiar face pass by.
The guy paused, looked at me, in half recognition then moved on.
Quickly I headed for the pharmacy and selected a few items, toiletries mainly and handed over the card to pay.
Carrying the bag I decided to walk round, browse before meeting Steve again. I didn't want to be recognised.
Any of my previous "associates" would whip that card before even speaking.
I lingered and watched for Steve's return, realising suddenly that in reality the idea of ripping him off in any way was totally alien to me.
I had been off the street less than 48 hours and already I was changing. It wasn't good. I was going to have to toughen up if.. no when I corrected myself ... when I went back, but ...

Just for once, just for a short while, I would allow myself a little respite.

I smiled and walked towards Steve as he finally came towards me.
I carried a bag under my arm and held out the card towards him.

"Thanks ... "

I spoke softly as he took the card and pocketed it.

"I hope you've got what you want ... it's only a few things by the look of it, "

He commented lightly as he looked at my bag.

"No ... it's much more ... "

I commented softly and leaned forward kissing him lightly on the cheek.
Blushing I looked away, but remained stood beside him.
Did he realise how much trust he'd put in me?
How much of a risk he'd taken?
And if he hadn't, then perhaps all he really saw in me was good. The thought, even the possibility shook me.
I realised he was speaking and looked up ...

"Sorry...? "

I asked him to repeat what he'd said, smiling shyly.

 

[waits2play]

Steve

Leaving the store, I spotted Cassie and headed toward her. I noticed a guy across the street that seemed to be staring in her direction. Was it my imagination? She did look spectacular; I guess I couldn’t blame him for staring if he was. I had asked if she needed to let anyone know where she was. I didn’t think to ask her if anyone would be looking for her, that she didn’t want to find her. I can’t ask her that now, maybe in a few days she’ll be more comfortable talking about herself. It would be difficult for anyone to recognize this young woman as the person I encountered in the subway last night. When she saw me she smiled. Does she have any idea how good she looks when she smiles? Hopefully the smile will come easier in time.

If anyone knew I let her go off with my card, they would have me committed. But there she was smiling at me and holding a relatively small parcel. Looking at her now, people would be quick to assume my reasons for wanting to help her. There was no denying her beauty. They hadn’t had the opportunity to see the inner person I had seen in the subway and the doctor’s office. I wonder if she will ever believe me when I tell her that, or even more important believe in herself?

As we moved together; she gave my card back without question. I couldn’t help but smile. I wasn’t prepared for her kiss on my cheek; her lips were as soft and warm as they looked. My face flushed, as I commented on the relatively small parcel she was carrying. She hadn’t heard me. I rephrased my comment.

”Cassie, I know it sounds stupid, and I know you don’t need my approval but I’m proud of you. You could have easily misused my card and you didn’t.’

Without thinking I offered her my arm and asked a question. I immediately realized that both acts were presumptuous of me. I hoped she wouldn’t reject one or both gestures.

”Are you ready to go home?”

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”Cassie, I know it sounds stupid, and I know you don’t need my approval but I’m proud of you. You could have easily misused my card and you didn’t.”

I flushed, realising now that he had thought twice about handing me the card, yet he had still trusted me.
That was the second time he had used that phrase… that he was proud to be seen with me, proud of me… I could have taken it as being patronising, but I knew with Steve it wasn’t.

”I wouldn’t do that, “

I commented softly, knowing the possibility had occurred to me, yet knowing that I hadn’t truly considered it as an option.
I took the arm he offered me without thinking.
Somehow his lack of pretense made me warn to him.
He didn't pretend that the thought of me running off with his card hadn't crossed his mind.
His acknowlegement and subsequent relief and praise warmed me.
He wasn’t quite as foolish as I had thought… well he was, but his foolishness was to trust me!
I smiled as my brain raced trying to make sense of the fact that I was now walking down the road beside him, looking comfortable, but trying not to fool myself that I belonged there.

”Are you ready to go home?”

I started and echoed his words.

”…home…?”

I paled and then realised what he meant.
He meant his home.

”Oh.. yess … sure… “

I spoke softly, trying to rid my head of images of “home” as it had been.
There was nothing there for me now. There never had been really.
I had never fitted in. It had always been too much trouble.
I walked silently beside him, temporarily lost in unhappy reflection.

 

[waits2play]

Steve

”home?’

I wish I could take that word back. Cassie did take my arm as we walked, but the mention of home had obviously struck a nerve. Her expression was troubled.

When we got home, I half expected Cassie to take her personal items upstairs but she followed me into the kitchen and began to help me put away the groceries. I was entranced watching her and trying to appear productive myself. I had taken notice of her outfit earlier, but I had not really appreciated how natural she looked in the navy cords and blue shirt. The shirt knotted at the waist was a nice touch even though it probably meant the shirt was slightly larger than her frail frame. As she stretched to reach an upper cupboard my eyes drifted to her waist and I caught a glimpse of the peach lace panties. My attention was quickly diverted to her pale skin. Was that a shadow or did she have some patches of discoloration there? If so, was this related the information the doctor had given. I fought the urge to ask her any additional questions for the moment.

As we finished putting the groceries away, I thanked her for staring to clean up from breakfast and suggested she could take her other items upstairs while I finished loading the dishes in the dish washer. The events of last night and today were beginning to catch up with me and I was ready to sit and relax.

” Cassie, I have to admit I’m a little tired. I am going to light a fire in the living room and have a glass of wine.”

I caught her look of disapproval.

” Oops, I can’t drink wine with the antibiotics. Thank You. Uhm, I’ll make some hot chocolate. Would you like some?”

Hot chocolate by the fireside; sounds a scene from Charles Dickens or Norman Rockwell. That’ll impress the lady. I won’t be surprised if she declines that offer.

’ Afterwards, we can see about making you more comfortable upstairs.”

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

I was pleased when we got back to the house. It was warm and cosy and somehow felt safe. I followed Steve into the kitchen. He still seemed in pain with his hand.
I wanted to be useful at least and began helping him to put the groceries away.
We moved quietly round the kitchen, he passing me items and pointing which cupboard to put them in. His cupboards seemed very high and I had to reach up to stow some of the packets safely.

I smiled as he thanked me for my help with the groceries and the dishes.
I told him it was the least I could do and smiled self-consciously.
He told me that he would finish clearing up and said that I could take my shopping upstairs if I liked.

”Ok… if you’re sure… “

I replied eyeing him carefully. He looked pale and exhausted.
Judging by what he’d said he’d had a tough couple of days.

” Cassie, I have to admit I’m a little tired. I am going to light a fire in the living room and have a glass of wine.”

I merely quirked an eyebrow, thinking he should take his tablets first.

” Oops, I can’t drink wine with the antibiotics. Thank You.
Uhm, I’ll make some hot chocolate. Would you like some?”

I smiled.

”I have pills to take too, I’m pretty whacked as well … “

I admitted for the first time that I felt somewhat weaker than normal.
He eyed me carefully, but didn’t comment.

”Hot chocolate sounds lovely … I haven’t had that since … well … not for a long time now … “

I amended, not wanting to make specific references to the past.

”Afterwards, we can see about making you more comfortable upstairs.”

Steve added. I nodded and picked up my bag.

”See you in a while, but shout if you need some help … “

I said as I walked with my package up the stairs.

Entering the room, I put the bag down on the bed and straightened the covers.
I stood uncertainly.
So … this was where I was going to sleep, but it was a massive room, the Master bedroom Steve had called it. I carried some items through to the ensuite bathroom and placed most of them in the half empty cabinet.
I filled the glass by the bed with water and quickly swallowed the antibiotics and painkillers and iron tablets.
I put the leaflets and next set of pills down on the bedside cabinet.

Sitting down on the bed I sighed.
I wasn’t sure what I was doing here, or why I’d let myself be talked into this.
All I knew was that there was something about Steve that made him difficult to run out on and impossible to deceive.
I sighed. My body ached: I was so tired suddenly.
I reached into the bag of items and drew out a tube.
Without thinking I peeled off my blouse and stood looking in the mirror seeing for the first time the out line of discolouration along the sides of my body.
The hospital had commented on it.
Had I had a guy who’d beaten me, roughed me up a bit, they’d asked.
I’d told them they were all accidents: I was clumsy.
They’d bought the story; at least they hadn’t queried it.
They didn’t really want to know. People like that didn’t.
As long as they had something feasible to put on their forms…

I carefully took the tube and rubbed the gel onto the areas I could reach.
Turning and stretching watching in the mirror, I couldn’t reach them all, but it would have to do.
They weren’t that recent and had been so much worse, but they didn’t seem to be healing either. Perhaps my body just didn’t get enough rest to heal, but there was nothing I could do about that.
I sat and stared at my reflection.
Too thin, too pale, too bruised, too …. Horrible…
I turned away disgusted.
Without knowing why I began to cry.
Tears fell unchecked as I curled up on the bed, blouse still discarded and tried to muffle the sobs, sobs I didn’t seem able to stop …

 

[waits2play]

Steve

I was relieved hen Cassie responded:

”Hot chocolate sounds lovely … I haven’t had that since … well … not for a long time now … “

Either she didn’t think I was a complete idiot or she was courteous enough to not laugh out loud.

I set the milk on the stove to begin heating and went to the living room to start a fire. As always I was thankful for the gas starter. Just arrange the logs, hit the gas lighter for a few minutes and you’ve got a fire. After shutting off the gas, I was on my way back to the kitchen to finish the hot chocolate. As I passed the stairway, I stopped to determine if I heard correctly. I had heard correctly, Cassie was crying. Once again, I had no idea about what to do. I had missed so many opportunities to be there when my wife and daughter could have benefited from my presence. But this was different, Cassie obviously had issues to work her way through. When did I cross the line between help and interference?

Even while I was wrestling with my thoughts I was walking slowly up the stairs. As I reached the top of the stairs I could see her door was open. Carrie was sobbing uncontrollably. I eased up to the doorway, enough to see she was lying on the bed. The blue shirt lay next to her. That pink bra stood put in sharp contrast to her pale skin. She was thinner than I had first thought. For a moment I thought there were shadows across her body. My body tightened when I realized the discolorations I had glimpsed downstairs were along her entire torso. As much as I wanted to go into the room and hold her, I stepped back to the top of the stairs.

My voice cracked as I called her name.

”Cassie, are you alright? Can I help?”

As I asked the question, I stepped forward. I was reluctant to let her know I had been in the doorway. I had invaded her privacy, and she hadn’t been in the house 24 hours.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

I hadn’t heard Steve coming upstairs.
I didn’t know he was there until he spoke.

”Cassie, are you alright? Can I help?”

I tried to stem the tears, but couldn’t.
I knew he stood in the doorway.
I had forgotten that my blouse was lying beside me…

”Steve… ?”

I called his name. He stepped forward.

”Are you OK?”

His voice was filled with concern.
I felt stupid, but as I raised my eyes to his, I couldn’t lie.

” … no … “

I admitted, my voice broken as I tried unsuccessfully to wipe at my eyes..

”Can I get you something ?”

Already he was backing away. I knew he didn’t want to intrude, that it wasn’t that he didn’t care.

”No!!”

I spoke urgently.

”Don’t leave me … “

Hesitantly he stepped into the room.
I couldn’t blame him not wanting to be near me.
I knew I looked a mess; hair dishevelled, tear streaked cheeks.
He sat on the bed beside me and lightly touched my hair.

”Oh.. Cass… shhh… “

At the sound of his voice I moved towards him without thinking and laid my head against his chest. Finally I felt his arms circle me as I sobbed helplessly.

”I’m… sorry … “

I knew I was stupid, making a fool of myself, but I couldn’t stop.
It was the first time I’d let anyone near, let anyone comfort me.
I didn’t know what had caused the floodgates to open … but it was a relief to release it all.
I hadn’t realised how much emotion I’d been holding back.
For once I just needed to be held, be comforted.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone had cared enough to do that for me.

 

[waits2play]

Steve

”No!!” ”Don’t leave me … “

I couldn’t have left her at that moment.

Cassie put her head on my chest, still sobbing.
”I’m… sorry … “

I could only respond with.


”Don’t be sorry on my behalf.’
As I took her into my arms, I realized how frail she was both physically and emotionally. We lay back on the pillows and I pulled the down comforter over us. Cassie’s sobs slowed as her body seemed to weaken. She molded her body next to mine as the afternoon sun began to fade. After she fell asleep, exhausted, I realized the milk was still on the stove. It would have to stay there for now, as I my body and mind also relaxed into a much needed slumber.

After the evening turned to night, I could hear the smoke alarm downstairs. I slipped down downstairs, took the charred pot off the stove, turned off the stove, and returned to Cassie’s bed. She hadn’t moved an inch. I slipped off her walking shoes, before returning to her side. I did not want her to wake up alone again, or worse awaken alone from a nightmare as she had early this morning.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

Steve held me against his chest as I continued to sob.
He spoke, softly, but I didn’t take in the words.
It felt good to have his arms round me.
It felt good not to have to pretend everything was alright.
It felt good to let my emotions go.

I was only half aware that he guided me, pulling my body down on the bed.
The pillows were soft under my head, the comforter warm about me and still he held me, making me feel secure, safe.
Gradually my sobs slowed, my body still shivered with spent emotion as I let myself mould against him.
I knew I had to pull away, to release him, to let him get on with what he had to.
I would soon … in a minute …
I closed my eyes and sighed.
Savouring the feel of him just one last time before …..



**********************************************


Once again the play of light across my eyelids woke me.
I blinked and moved tentatively.
I felt stiff, aching and struggled to remember how I came to be in bed.
I knew where I was, in my room, the room I had been given, but How? .. Why?
I froze as I realised that I was not alone.
As I moved myself I realised that I was still held, that Steve’s arms were about me, holding me tightly against him.

I turned my head and found myself looking at his chest.
The two buttons at the neckline of his top were unbuttoned and I found myself staring at the sensitive skin barely exposed there.
Reluctantly I lifted my head to find him silently watching me.
I blushed hotly.

I felt so stupid! What must he think of me?
I’d forced him into this situation!
I opened my mouth to apologise, finding myself stammering as I tried to formulate the words.

”God… Steve … I … “

Steve said nothing, merely smiled and reached out a hand to stroke my hair, his touch light and soothing.

”Sshhh… “

He silenced me gently then pulled the comforter tightly about us.
My eyes moved questioningly to his, but it was clear he would dismiss any further apology.
Despite my initial concern, I felt myself relaxing again.
I let my head move to his chest and let my body roll naturally towards him once more.

I murmured softly into his body.

”I .. don’t know how this happened… I… don’t usually… “

My voice confused, unable to explain.
My mind was racing.

If only he knew how strange this was for me.
I didn’t let anyone close, emotionally or physically.
Yet here I was still lying comfortably beside Steve!
I wondered what he thought of me.
He must have stayed with me all night!

This wasn’t what I had planned at all.
I had been determined to maintain a distance between us.
I never break down like that.
What the hell was happening to me?

 

[waits2play]

Steve

Cassie had slept peacefully throughout the night. I wondered how long it had been since she had last done that. I slept lightly throughout the night, doing my best to maintain vigil over her. I wanted to be prepared to gently wake her at the first sign of another nightmare. Her nightmare from the prior night had left her upset.

I watched as the morning sun began to filter through the room and she began to stir. As she awoke and realized I was there looking over her, the expression on her face indicated she was at peace the first time since our initial encounter. She looked lovely, I wanted to lift her face and give her a reassuring kiss. But I knew that could be dangerous for both of us at this time.

Before she laid her head back down she said:

”I .. don’t know how this happened… I… don’t usually… “

She didn’t finish the statement before she drifted back into her slumber. I don’t usually what? I realized it did not matter. Hopefully she will begin to share more of herself as she becomes comfortable here.

It was Sunday morning and I began to think about the coming week. I would schedule a conference call Monday morning, for the entire staff, to review all open projects and reassign mine tasks to others. I was not going into the office for the next week or two. Everyone would question my actions; I have not out of the office for more than 2 days in years, even prior to the accident. I couldn’t let history repeat itself. Learn from our mistakes they say.

Knowing that Cassie was sleeping comfortably, I drifted off into a deeper sleep that I had during the night. Perhaps that’s why I didn’t hear Cassie when she…

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

The thoughts turned over and over in my mind.
I shut my eyes, trying to shut them out.
The bed was warm. Steve’s body was warm.
I sighed and gave myself up to the sleep that overwhelmed me.
Finally I let exhaustion take over and sank back into a deep slumber.

****************************************************

I awoke once more to find Steve deeply asleep beside me.
It was almost midday already! I lay and watched him for a few moments.
His face was tranquil in sleep. His expression was rested.
I wondered what had led him to befriend me?
What he cared so much, or said he did?
Why would someone like him give someone like me a chance to live in their house, no matter how short term it would turn out to be?

I sighed and carefully slipped out from between his arms.
I closed the comforter around him and could not resist moving a hand to smooth the hair over his brow as he slept.
A smile on my face, I moved to the door and went down the stairs to the kitchen.
Looking round I wrinkled my nose. The smell of burnt milk filled the room.
I saw the ruined pan in the sink and emptied the bowl, running clean water over the blackened object.

I opened the dishwasher and pulled out two plates and two mugs.
I decided that I’d prepare a breakfast that would really provide a supper and lunch all rolled into one. I went to the cupboards and pulled out the croissants we had brought yesterday and decided to pop them briefly in the oven to heat.
I drew a tray out from near the sink and placed a slab of butter and a jar of strawberry jam upon it. Two plates and two knives accompanied the items.
Flicking the kettle on, I went off in search of a downstairs bathroom, feeling the need to … freshen up …

Opening a door, I realised that the room must be Steve’s bedroom.
I was about to tiptoe out when I noticed the photographs on the shelf.
I glanced over, seeing the images of a young woman and a small girl.
I looked at them quizzically, but did not want to pry.
Turning my head I could see the open door of the bathroom showing down the corridor.
I closed the door to his bedroom and made my way to the bathroom.
Having used the facilities and splashed water on my face, I caught sight of a man’s robe hung on the door. Quickly I decided that walking about the house minus a blouse was not a good idea, even if we had slept together! I peeled off my much-crumpled clothes, leaving on only the panties and bra and wound the robe around me securing it at the waist.

Suddenly remembering the croissants, I ran along to the kitchen.
Rescuing the croissants just in time, I placed them two on each plate and quickly. I reboiled the kettle and poured it through two individual filter coffees. I added a small portion of single cream, a sugar bowl and two small spoons to the tray and grabbing a couple of napkins took up the tray to carry up the stairs. On my way through the hall I balanced the tray carefully and picked up the newspaper, which lay on the doormat, tucking it under my arm, before ascending rather precariously to the second floor once more.

As I entered the room, all I could hear was Steve’s rhythmic breathing.
I placed the tray on the table beside the bed and moved to draw the curtains aside slightly. I sat on the bed beside Steve and laid a hand on his shoulder.

”Steve..? …. Steve …. It’s past midday…”

I coaxed softly. Still no stirring or reply.
I touched his head lightly and ruffled his hair drawing it back from his forehead.
I looked at him curiously.
Not knowing why I did it, I leaned forward and softly kissed the skin just below his hairline.
Straightening up again, I continued.

”Wake up, sleepy head … Steve… come on … breakfast…”

As I spoke I watched his eyes flutter open, focus, refocus and look confused.
Perhaps he thought he remembered the kiss, but I drew back from him, giving no indication of the soft touch which had grazed his forehead.

”Morning … or rather afternoon …. “

I smiled. The bravery that had led to my intimate touch fled and I felt guilty and suddenly shy.

”Are you hungry … it’s gone midday … I made croissants and coffee … “

I invited softly.
I picked up the tray and laid it between us and placed the newspaper before him.
I could not read his expression.
My eyes clouded as a suddenly worry crossed my mind.
Would he think I had been too presumptions, taking charge of the kitchen?

”I… I hope that’s ok …”

I stated hesitantly ...

”I thought you’d be hungry after …. “

My voice trailed off as I looked at him uncertainly.

 

[waits2play]

In my sleep I thought I heard Cassie slip out of the bed. Later I heard water running and assumed she was in the shower. Later as I started to wake she came walking into the bedroom in my robe. As she walked to the bed I caught a glimpse of her legs as the robe flew open. Her thighs looked so smooth, a man could get lost between them. As she leaned over the bed, the robe slid from her shoulder to reveal her breasts. So young, so perfect, the nipples were responding to the motion of the robe sliding past. She leaned to my face, kissing me. Her tongue began to part my lips as I lifted my head to meet her passion. Something brushed my forehead and I opened my eyes, Cassie was there, holding a tray and newspaper. I had been dreaming.

As she put the tray between us and lay on the bed, the robe did slide open revealing her thighs. I felt dizzy, I closed my eyes to separate dream from reality.

I heard Cassie say; “”I thought you’d be hungry after. “

I snapped back to reality.

”Yes, yes I am hungry. Thank You.”

She had said “after”. After what? What had I done? Had I betrayed her confidence? No, she wouldn’t be this calm if I had taken advantage of her. It WAS a dream, a glorious dream at that. I smiled now, as I reached for the cup.

”Everything looks great, Looks like you've found your way around the kitchen OK. And, my robe never looked so good. You look rested this morning.”

After we both ate for a moment, I had regained my thoughts.

”Cassie, I will do my best not to pry into your past. I don’t know how successful will be, I find myself wanting to know about you and wanting to help you in some constructive manner. I do want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime about anything .I mean that, anything, anytime.”

I must be a site in my rumpled clothes and pillow hair. I needed a shower. I realized how foolish I must look while attempting to win her confidence with my comments.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”Yes, yes I am hungry. Thank You.”

I smiled, reassured and sat down next to him as he struggled to sit up, then placed the tray in front of him.

”Everything looks great, Looks like you've found your way around the kitchen OK.

I blushed at the compliment.

"I knew where things were after putting the stuff away yesterday ... I'm glad you didn't help me getting breakfast... I ... I wanted to help ... "

I explained as he began to eat.

"And, my robe never looked so good. "

I giggled.

"I was a bit ... crumpled ... I thought I should make myself decent,"

I spoke softly and pulled the blouse out from under the comforter, laying it across the pillow, as if to illustrate my point.
I noticed that he had never commented on my paritial state of undress yesterday, or even about what had happened between us.

"You look rested this morning."

His observation was tactful. I nodded.

"Yes ... I ... seem to have slept well..."

I joined him and concentrated on eating some of the croissant and sipped the hot coffee.
We both seemed lost in thought.
But it was a companionable silence as we enjoyed the breakfast, he laid in the bed, me sat at the edge and the tray balanced between us.

”Cassie ..."

I looked up as he said my name, my coffee cup in my hands, the croissants finished.

"I will do my best not to pry into your past.
I don’t know how successful will be, I find myself wanting to know about you and wanting to help you in some constructive manner. I do want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime about anything .I mean that, anything, anytime.”

I nodded.
I knew he was curious and I knew his intentions were good.

"You're helping me now, letting me stay for a bit... though anytime you want rid of me ... I can go ... it'll only be for this week anyhow .. then.. well ... I can get myself sorted out again ... "

I spoke softly. I didn't have any plans and I didn't have a burning need to go back to street life, but it was all I had now.

"All you need to know is that I'm not on some wanted list or anything, despite what you might think, I'm not a criminal, never hurt anyone or done anything more than petty theft and only that when I've been too damn hungry to do anything else."

I found myself admitting reluctantly.

"I get myself into trouble and I get myself out of it.
I can take care of myself... I'm tougher than I look ..."

I explained looking him in the eye, trying to convince him.
I didn't want him to feel that he had to worry about me.
I wasn't his problem.

"... I get beaten up, I bounce back ... I'm pretty resilient ... but anyhow... what does it matter ... ?"

I ask him, as if talking to myself.
It's a question I've asked myself so many times.

"There's no one to know or give a damn, even if I end up floating in the river ... so ... I guess what I should try to work out why it is I even bother to try to survive ... ? Sometimes the effort to go on hardly seems worth it... "

I catch his expression and shrug dismissively before returning to sip my coffee ...

 

[waits2play]

Cassie basically confirmed what I suspected; standard type trouble one would encounter living on the streets. Not pretty, but not the worst that could have happened. I was saddened when she discussed being beaten up. She really got my attention when she said:

{I}”There's no one to know or give a damn, even if I end up floating in the river ... so ... I guess what I should try to work out why it is I even bother to try to survive ...? Sometimes the effort to go on hardly seems worth it. "[/I]

I did not want to push things, but I had to respond to her last comment.

”Cassie, you should know now that at least one person care’”

I raised my eyebrows and gave her a smile.

”Given some time I bet you’ll realize that there is more to live for than you think. Hey, we should make some use of this day because it slips away. We were going to get you settled in yesterday. Let’s get cleaned up and see what we can do to make you more comfortable. I’ll use the downstairs bathroom. After, I have to make one telephone call and set up a conference call for my staff tomorrow. I’ll explain what that’s about when I come back up. After you bathe, feel free to pick any clothes that you want. If you would like, you could start looking at things and see what you’re comfortable with and when I come back upstairs we can plan for some shopping tomorrow. How does that sound?”

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”Cassie, you should know now that at least one person cares”

His comment snapped me out of my reverie.
I looked at him momentarily confused, until I saw his raised eyebrows and smile.
Yes he did care… for now. He was a nice enough person, but …
I knew it was to be short-lived and anyhow, I wasn’t his problem, I insisted to myself again.
But still, I merely gave a shy smile in return and didn’t even attempt to explain my feelings to him. I’d soon be long gone and then he wouldn’t even remember those words!

”Given some time I bet you’ll realize that there is more to live for than you think. “

I did not comment.
Suddenly Steve changed the tone of the conversation.

”Hey, we should make some use of this day because it slips away.
We were going to get you settled in yesterday. Let’s get cleaned up and see what we can do to make you more comfortable. I’ll use the downstairs bathroom.
After, I have to make one telephone call and set up a conference call for my staff tomorrow. I’ll explain what that’s about when I come back up.
After you bathe, feel free to pick any clothes that you want.
If you would like, you could start looking at things and see what you’re comfortable with and when I come back upstairs we can plan for some shopping tomorrow.
How does that sound?”

Again he was like a whirlwind, away with plans, bath, clothes, calls, shopping.
I looked at him somewhat overwhelmed and laughed.

”It sounds like we’re making up for lost time, “

I giggled and stood up from the bed.

”Sounds like fun though … “

I turned and held his gaze.
Steve lay looking comfortable, but crumpled, croissant crumbs all over and smiling with boyish enthusiasm.
What a difference a couple of days had made!
I leaned forward and dropped a light kiss onto his cheek.
Our eyes met once more as I drew back.
I dropped my gaze and murmured.

”I - I guess I'd better go take that bath now huh… ?“

 

[waits2play]

Cassie responded:
”I - I guess I'd better go take that bath now huh… ?“

With those words, Cassie turned to walk into the bathroom. At times she seems relaxed and comfortable here, and other times she seems to be seeking my approval. What can I do to help her? How can I help bring purpose to her life?
My God she spoke as if she was of no value, to any one. More important, how do I avoid screwing things up? Avoid hurting her any further? Avoid reaffirming her self doubt? Avoid damaging any small confidence she had in me? Even as these thoughts race through my mind, I watch the sunlight illuminate her hair. Her hair seems to float through float through the air, in slow motion, as she turns her head.

I mumbled under my breath. “Let me know if you need any help.”

I started to straighten the bed. I saw Cassie’s medications and pamphlets on the nightstand. I had not realized she had so many prescriptions. How serious can her condition be? Surely, they would not have let her walk away from the clinic if she was in imminent danger. I glanced at the cover of the top pamphlet, catching only the word Anaemia. OK, a blood deficiency, red cell count I think. Treatable, but could lead to serious problems if left untreated. At that moment Cassie turned and asked:

”I’m sorry, did you say something?”

I looked back in time to see her robe swirl open, revealing the full length of her legs. She takes my breath away each time I see her.

”Wh. What?’/I]
Did I say that out loud? How could I be so stupid? She needs help, not to be taken advantage of again. But, wouldn’t it help her confidence and self respect if she knew how desirable she is? Wouldn’t it help to …….? Was I staring at her? How long had I been standing here looking like a love sick moron? Did she see me looking at the items on the nightstand?

” Noth. Nothing”
I looked for something to do and picked up the tray of breakfast items. The cups and plates rattled on the tray as my hands shook. I could feel my face blush red and sat on the bed for a moment to relax. I stood back up and tried regain my composure.

”No, Oh, Uhm, I said, I’ll take these things downstairs now if you have everything you need.
With that I started to step away from the bed and towards the door. I had regained my composure. Yeah, I was OK now. Almost lost it for a moment there. But, everything is alright now, back in control. Then I tripped over my shoes. Fortunately I caught my balance before dropping the tray or falling to the floor. Cassie jumped toward me at the same time. As I straightened up, the back of my head caught her on the chin and knocked her onto the bed. Now I did drop the tray on the floor.

”Cassie, I’m so sorry. I am such a clown. I’m sorry.”
I sat on the bed next to her and stroked her hair.

”Can you turn over? Did I hurt you? Are you alright?”
Her body was shaking. Was she crying? Had I hurt her twice in as many days? She turned over slowly and I realized she was smiling and laughing, laughing out loud. It was the first time I heard her laugh.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

”I - I guess I'd better go take that bath now huh… ?“

I turned and walked towards the bathroom.
I couldn’t work out why I was drawn to him, but who wouldn’t be?
He had spent the whole night taking care of me and seemed to care, to give a damn what happened to me!
I turned as I heard him mutter something and took a step back into the room.
He was stood at the bed, he’d obviously been tidying up.
I was sure I hadn’t imagined a comment thrown in my direction, but had missed exactly what had been said.

”I’m sorry, did you say something?”

I asked uncertainly.

I looked back in time to see her robe swirl open, revealing the full length of her legs. She takes my breath away each time I see her.

”Wh. What?’

I see his look of amazement. Apparently he hadn’t spoken, but I was sure …
items on the nightstand?

” Noth. Nothing”

He stood there stammering like a schoolboy that had been caught out!
Caught doing what though?
His eyes seemed fixed on my body.
Only then did I notice that my robe had fallen open slightly at the top and that a bare leg was clearly visible. I hesitated, not knowing what to say.
He’d slept all night with me wearing just a bra on top, yet never “touched me”.
It was obvious suddenly that he was attracted to me, but he’d never acted on it, was always the perfect gentleman…
It didn’t seem to make sense?

He turned and began to busy himself with the tray.
Cups and plates clattered as he cleared.
Even the activity did not mask the fact that a raging hardon was showing.
If the tightness of his trousers was anything to go by, Steve was … well blessed in that department.
I looked away, amusement changing to embarrassment at the path my thoughts were taking!

”No, Oh, Uhm, I said, I’ll take these things downstairs now if you have everything you need…”

I nodded, not looking him in the eye. I thought I’d save the embarrassment for both of us… then suddenly … the noise of the tray rattling made me look up.

I turned just in time to see Steve trip up and send the tray wobbling, then catch it before dropping it.
I jumped forward to help steady the crockery and in doing so, Steve straightened and hit his head onto my chin and sent me sprawling onto the bed!

I lay there, surprised.
It seemed we were doomed to eternally injure each other.
Steve was on the bed at once, all concern and apology.

”Cassie, I’m so sorry. I am such a clown. I’m sorry.”

His hand moved to my head, stroking it gently, tenderly.
He was so remorseful, but had looked so comical and then …

”Can you turn over? Did I hurt you? Are you alright?”

Really it was all too funny for words.
We were drawn to each other in a way neither of us could understand it seemed, yet little things like concussion, stabbings and tray bashings kept us apart.

I couldn’t hold back any more.
As he turned me round I completely lost it and burst out laughing.

”Ohh.. Steve… I- I’m sorry but … “

I tried to smother my giggles, but couldn’t.

”You looked so funny!… You should have seen yourself! ..
And when… “

I was laid on the bed on my back, looking up at him unable to stop the laughter.
I was unaware that my robe had slipped open.
Did not realise that he had smiled in relief, chuckled at my mirth then become suddenly silent.

The next thing I knew, his body was leaning over me.
His face drew close and he pressed a kiss on my mouth.
I stopped laughing and looked up into his eyes.

”Ohh… “

I gasped breathlessly as he drew his mouth away, his face, but inches from my own.

”That … that’s one way to stop me laughing at you …”

I commented shakily, my eyes locked with his …

 

[waits2play]

I was caught up in her laughter, suddenly everything seemed so relaxed. Cassie’s robe had slipped open. I stopped breathing at the sight of her and the closeness of our bodies. I leaned over her and drew close to her face, without hesitation I kissed her. She did not reject my kiss. I could feel her stop breathing. As I pulled away, her eyes opened, and she said, no moaned:
”Ohh…”

Our lips were only inches apart when she took a deep breath and said:
”That … that’s one way to stop me laughing at you …”

On my knees now, leaning over her, I knew I should not be in this controlling position. First there was the frailty of her body, second the tentative nature of the moment. I wrapped my arms around her and rolled us both over so Cassie was now on top. She could end this moment if she was uncomfortable with my advances. I ran my fingers through her hair and brought her lips back to mine. As I kissed her this time, my lips parted enough for my tongue to trace lines across her lips. My lips were massaging hers.

Only then did I lift her to a sitting position so I could see her face. On the other hand, in that position, there was no hiding my raging erection, she was sitting directly on top of it. Before she could say anything, I said:
”OK, what I really said was, let me know if you need any help with that bath”
” And, I’m sorry if I’ve created an uncomfortable situation for you. I…………..”

I want to help her. I want to give her life meaning. I want to be part of her life. But, I know now, I also want her. Did I want too much? Had I jeopardized everything?

”I don’t want you to leave”

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Cassie

I gazed up at Steve as he lay above me.
His eyes locked with mine and I felt a tremor running through my body.
Once again, very slowly, he moved his arms and wrapped them around me, capturing me snugly against him, before rolling and turning us about, so that I was on top of him.

I looked downwards, looking at the cautious expression on his face as he moved his face towards mine.
Instinctively, I leaned down to meet his kiss.
The touch of his lips was tender, soft, but the movement of the slow sensual kiss we shared was unexpectedly erotic!

As I finally gasped, Steve broke the kiss gently.
He and sat up, his eyes gazing at me enquiringly as I lay straddled over him.
I blushed hotly.
Again I knew he had an erection.
I could feel his hardness nudging up beneath me!
He felt so big suddenly!
I didn't know what to say.
I still felt somewhat dazed and wondered exactly how all this had happened.

His words interrupted my musings:

”OK, what I really said was, let me know if you need any help with that bath.
And, I’m sorry if I’ve created an uncomfortable situation for you. I…………..”

I could see he was torn.
I knew he hadn’t just brought me back to fuck me, but I hadn’t worked out quite why he had brought me back…

”I don’t want you to leave … ”

Those softly spoken words communicated a depth of feeling, must more intense than any flowery declarations.

I looked at him, unable to throw up any barriers, tell any lies.
I couldn't protect myself from someone who was so open, so caring ... I had to put his mind at rest. Afterall, he had done nothing wrong, if anything, I had made the first move!

”I’m not … uncomfortable .. with what happened just now … as long as you don’t regret kissing me, Steve … ?”

I looked at him, half expecting him to say it was a big mistake, things like that happened sometimes and not to read anything into it … but in reality, I knew the kiss had meant much more than just a casual flirtation.

I tried to stop my mind racing, make sense of my thoughts.
The seriousness of his gaze frightened me,
his earnestness intimidated me,
my instinct was to flee,
to not open myself up to this:
I knew that when it did end, I would get hurt, and this time it would hurt dreadfully!

But ...

” … and … as you want me around … I won’t leave unless you ask me to … OK?”

I spoke softly, knowing that one day, maybe one day soon, it would be time to leave,
but even so, I threw caution to the wind and decided to enjoy his … company until such a time as I was no longer needed, no longer wanted.

I would not take him for a ride.
I wasn't going to let him spend all his money on me.
I would just “be here” until he realised that someone like me jsut didn't fit into his life!

 

[waits2play]

”I’m not … uncomfortable .. with what happened just now … as long as you don’t regret kissing me, Steve … ?”

Hearing Cassie’s response lifted my sprit. I had risked losing any trust she had placed in me, with that one impetuous move.

” … and … as you want me around … I won’t leave unless you ask me to … OK?”

There it was; she had given me an indication that she was going to stay. As long as she was willing to stay, I could be part of her opportunities to regain her health and regain purpose to her life. I had to think about what I was saying, think about the implications of my words on other people, before I spoke. More important I have to accept the responsibility to fulfill my commitments to someone other than me or my business associates.

”Cassie, I do not regret kissing you. I would have deeply regretted doing anything to cause you to mistrust me. I want you to believe that someone does care about you, that you do have reasons to regain your health.”

I shifted my body, so we were sitting on the bed now. We both turned to face each other and she straightened her robe. As I began to speak I put my hand on her knee and was relieved when Cassie put her hand on top of mine.

”I will not ask you to leave. If you leave this home it will be of your own free will. It is obvious now that my feelings for you are deeper that those of just a Good Samaritan. I am probably as surprised about that as you are. We should both take time to understand that. I told you at the café, that I did not expect sex from you in return for favors, and I meant that. I suspect that others have taken you, not in only in return for favors, but perhaps even against your will. You deserve better than that. You deserve to decide who you will be with; where, when and how you will be with them.”

As I stood, I offered her my hand to help her off the bed as well.

”You need to feel comfortable here if you’re going to get better. I want you to be happy here. I don’t know if you will ever be able to reciprocate my feelings for you.
I think you may need to come to terms with your life and I know that I have to continue the process of balancing my life before I would even have the right to ask you to consider your feelings for me.”

Scooting the dishes together with my feet, I looked back to Cassie for an indication of her reactions, in spite of everything I had said I was entranced by her eyes.