Stepping out of the comfort zone.

[Keroin]

I have decided to do two things I thought I'd never do. (I'm posting about them here because I'm feeling very flittery about it all at the moment and I'm doing the girl "talk through it" routine).

1. I have put an ad..*******...*deep breath*...for a play partner for Chuck and me, for when I'm back home. (Homburg, please feel free to tease me mercilessly). Filling out the forms and such gave me the weirdest feeling, how do I distill "me" into neat categories?

2. I've decided to meet my half brother in person. We have corresponded off and on for about ten years but in the last year we've actually become kind of close. I want to avoid the weirdness and I' sure he would too, (he could be my twin, it's kind of eerie), so I'm going to surprise him, (yes, I've thought through this carefully). He works part time at a nightclub so I'm going to show up one night when I know he's on. I really want to see him when he's being "him" and not some version of him he thinks I'll approve of. He also fights competitively so I'm hoping I might get to watch one of his matches while I'm in town. I'm feeling a thousand things about this decision.

Anyway...

Ack.

Butterflies!!!!

If you've ever done something well out of your comfort zone, please feel free to share.

 

[graceanne]

Well, the one that comes to mind isn't anywhere near as big as yours are, but I got a male primary doctor.

I'm so sick of crappy doctors I'm willing to consider a guy.

 

[MisterSir]

Pretty much everything I do that's not on the Internet and a little bit of what is occurs outside my comfort zone. Short of somebody with a genuine social condition (i.e. something that has been diagnosed by a doctor or a psychiatrist and not by a kid that Wikipedia has convinced he has Asperger's), I'm the least comfortable person I know and probably will ever know. Even something as innocent as sharing a picture of oneself was a big thing for me, and that's rather depressing.

 

[the captians wench]

Let's see....

I flew to a foreign country by myself to meet a man.

Way out of comfort zone for some one who is petrified of getting lost.

I was so jazzed on adenilin that it wasn't until I was half way across the ocean that I realized that this was the craziest thing I'd ever done.

I'm so glad I did it.

 

[CutieMouse]

*I divorced my ex-husband.

*Later, I decided it was more practical for the children to be raised by him, rather than me.

*I moved out of state for a job opportunity (that turned into a wee bit of a disaster).

*After the disaster-ness, I decided to spend the next couple of years self-employed. (Yay for sleepless nights!)

*I tried being the Domme in a relationship... it left me stressed out and miserable.

*After struggling with a very frustrating LDR for far longer than was sane or good for me, I made a wildly romantic gesture... his response gave me the courage to end the friendship.

*I heavily pursued a new job opportunity, and got it.

*I answered a [non-kinky] personals ad a month ago, and actually started date[ish]ing again... being very up front and matter of fact about my kinks from the beginning. (It's been a rather entertaining month...)

*I bought myself an iPhone.

Ya know when I list it all out like that, I sound way braver and wild-woman than I am. LOL

 

[Sayyid]

I started seeing a psychologist for my depression. Big lifestyle changes were needed to accommodate his advice, which has been very helpful.

I left high school in my last year to pursue my diploma via an alternative route, and it paid off. Now I'm going to university this year.

My longtime partner and I mutually split up, agreeing it was for the best. That hurt a lot.

 

[Keroin]

It's interesting to me what exactly defines each person's comfort zones. Hopping on a plane and traveling half way around the world, on a whim, is nothing to me. I like change and I like adventure, so all that is very cushy territory. You want me to jump out of the plane? Yee ha!

Now emotional stuff, person-to-person, "now I have to expose myself" stuff...ah, that's a whole different mess of bingo balls.

I'm looking for a female play partner and...*hides face in pillow*...this is all very weird for me. Good weird but, you know, weird. I don't want to be too picky but I do want to be picky. I don't have a hard time getting along with women but that's women with clothes on, whom I don't plan on getting frisky with.

My ad currently reads like a first grade English paper:

"My name is Keroin. I live on an island. It is sunny and hot. There are fish here and mangoes..."

OK, not quite that bad but pretty close.

 

[Keroin]

Well, the one that comes to mind isn't anywhere near as big as yours are, but I got a male primary doctor.

I'm so sick of crappy doctors I'm willing to consider a guy.

I grew up with a male doctor. I didn't see a female doctor until I was nearly thirty. I have a male doctor, again, and he's awesome, way better than the female doctor I had!

Funny story, when I was getting all my medical tests done to come here, Dr C had a student doctor with him, (also male and...yummy), and asked if I would mind letting the student sit in on my exam. I said no problem. Gets to the breast exam and, because I've got lots of dense tissue, Dr C spent an extra long time showing Student Stud how to do a thorough exam on my type of breasts.

Yeah, that was a strange day.

 

[Keroin]

Pretty much everything I do that's not on the Internet and a little bit of what is occurs outside my comfort zone. Short of somebody with a genuine social condition (i.e. something that has been diagnosed by a doctor or a psychiatrist and not by a kid that Wikipedia has convinced he has Asperger's), I'm the least comfortable person I know and probably will ever know. Even something as innocent as sharing a picture of oneself was a big thing for me, and that's rather depressing.

Hey, everyone has their own reality. Don't judge yours by everyone else's, (easier said than done, I know). If your online humour translates at all in real life, I'm sure that will be a big help as you go through life.

Let's see....

I flew to a foreign country by myself to meet a man.

Way out of comfort zone for some one who is petrified of getting lost.

I was so jazzed on adenilin that it wasn't until I was half way across the ocean that I realized that this was the craziest thing I'd ever done.

I'm so glad I did it.

YOu know, I constantly have to remind myself that international travel is a big deal to most people. I think because I started fairly young I've never thought much about it. Do you look back now and laugh at all the things you were nervous about on that first trip?

*I divorced my ex-husband.

*Later, I decided it was more practical for the children to be raised by him, rather than me.

*I moved out of state for a job opportunity (that turned into a wee bit of a disaster).

*After the disaster-ness, I decided to spend the next couple of years self-employed. (Yay for sleepless nights!)

*I tried being the Domme in a relationship... it left me stressed out and miserable.

*After struggling with a very frustrating LDR for far longer than was sane or good for me, I made a wildly romantic gesture... his response gave me the courage to end the friendship.

*I heavily pursued a new job opportunity, and got it.

*I answered a [non-kinky] personals ad a month ago, and actually started date[ish]ing again... being very up front and matter of fact about my kinks from the beginning. (It's been a rather entertaining month...)

*I bought myself an iPhone.

Ya know when I list it all out like that, I sound way braver and wild-woman than I am. LOL

*Snore*

LOL!

I though you said you weren't adventurous? WTF?!

I started seeing a psychologist for my depression. Big lifestyle changes were needed to accommodate his advice, which has been very helpful.

I left high school in my last year to pursue my diploma via an alternative route, and it paid off. Now I'm going to university this year.

My longtime partner and I mutually split up, agreeing it was for the best. That hurt a lot.

Good for you! It sounds like you've made some huge course alterations in your life. Glad to hear the psychologist has been helpful.

I'm really surprised to learn how many people suffer from depression.

 

[CutieMouse]

*Snore*

LOL!

I though you said you weren't adventurous? WTF?!

I blame it on turning 30; the last 7 years have been one huge experiment with life. LOL

 

[the captians wench]

YOu know, I constantly have to remind myself that international travel is a big deal to most people. I think because I started fairly young I've never thought much about it. Do you look back now and laugh at all the things you were nervous about on that first trip?

I had barely traveled out side my state at that point. Infact, I don't leave my city much, so traveling halfway across the world for the first time was a huge deal to me.

You also have to remember that not only had I never been on a plane before, but, for all practicality, I had never met the man whom I was spending the next 9 days with. I've met a few people that I've chatted online with, but it's always been on my terms, this was way out of that.

Then there's all that romantic butterfly ontop of all of this craziness that normally would have set me on edge. So yeah, big moment for wenchie.

I was nervous, but not enough to make me fell like I was being silly, and I seemed to handle travel like I have been doing it all of my life, which was another shock. I'm a very shy person, to the point where I have seriously considered being checked for a disorder, so to have to talk to so many strangers, to have to ask directions and make polite small talk, it was well not with in my comfortable little bubble.

 

[Keroin]

So, I am browsing profiles right this very minute.

OMG.

I think this is going to be a long, long process.

Sigh.

 

[Sayyid]

Good for you! It sounds like you've made some huge course alterations in your life. Glad to hear the psychologist has been helpful.

I'm really surprised to learn how many people suffer from depression.

Thanks. It's actually the second-most common mental illness after anxiety, I believe.

It's hard for people who haven't experienced a serious bout of depression to know how soul-crushingly terrible it makes you feel.

 

[intothewoods]

So, I am browsing profiles right this very minute.

OMG.

I think this is going to be a long, long process.

Sigh.

Are you looking for a woman or man? If it's a woman - how's that going? I think finding a girl play partner is kind of a drag.

 

[Keroin]

Thanks. It's actually the second-most common mental illness after anxiety, I believe.

It's hard for people who haven't experienced a serious bout of depression to know how soul-crushingly terrible it makes you feel.

I'm sure it is impossible to fully empathize. I had a very serious influenza a few years ago and didn't realize that one of the side effects can be a form of depression. I'd never experienced anything like that before. I didn't want to go out, didn't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, I felt like I was living inside a black cloud. It lasted about 3 months and my friends couldn't believe how I was behaving, (I'm surprised they didn't hold an intervention, lol). I remember thinking, 'Wow, is this what people with depression live with every day?!'

Not fun. You have my sympathies.

 

[Keroin]

Are you looking for a woman or man? If it's a woman - how's that going? I think finding a girl play partner is kind of a drag.

Woman. Ugh.

I just signed up last night and started browsing this morning. After reading several profiles I'm already starting to lose my enthusiasm.

I think it's going to be tough for someone like me to find a compatible female partner.

 

[intothewoods]

Woman. Ugh.

I just signed up last night and started browsing this morning. After reading several profiles I'm already starting to lose my enthusiasm.

I think it's going to be tough for someone like me to find a compatible female partner.

Uh, yeah. That's been my experience. Not sure where you're looking, but on kink sites there are a lot of M-Dom f-sub couples looking for a f-sub third.

 

[Keroin]

Uh, yeah. That's been my experience. Not sure where you're looking, but on kink sites there are a lot of M-Dom f-sub couples looking for a f-sub third.

I'm not even focusing on the kink at this point. I'm on a kind of all-inclusive adult site. Seriously, I think just finding someone I gel with at all, (sexually), is going to be difficult. I've added a little blurb on my profile about *Light BDSM* but that's about it. I figure we can go mostly vanilla to start with and see how it goes. If it's a good experience, then we'll get more serious, if not, then we'll rethink.

But, wow, this will not be easy.

Do people really have success with these kind of online searches? Are my expectations just way too high?

 

[Sayyid]

I remember thinking, 'Wow, is this what people with depression live with every day?!'

Not fun. You have my sympathies.

Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. I seldom do.

Do people really have success with these kind of online searches? Are my expectations just way too high?

They do, but I think I'm too picky both online and in the real world.

 

[graceanne]

I grew up with a male doctor. I didn't see a female doctor until I was nearly thirty. I have a male doctor, again, and he's awesome, way better than the female doctor I had!

Funny story, when I was getting all my medical tests done to come here, Dr C had a student doctor with him, (also male and...yummy), and asked if I would mind letting the student sit in on my exam. I said no problem. Gets to the breast exam and, because I've got lots of dense tissue, Dr C spent an extra long time showing Student Stud how to do a thorough exam on my type of breasts.

Yeah, that was a strange day.

My rheumatologist is a man, but other than that I usually stick to women. And I still insist that all female exams are done by a female doctor.

Honestly, I was not raised to trust and/or be comfortable around men. I'm not even comfortable sitting by any man other than K in church, it makes me claustrophobic. I'm one of the least shy people you'll ever meet, but quite a few men have described me as shy.

So, for me, getting a male doctor is a big deal. It's also a sign of how SICK of stupid doctors I am.

 

[Keroin]

Thank you. It means a lot to hear that. I seldom do.
They do, but I think I'm too picky both online and in the real world.

Picky. I think that will be my obstacle in all this. But, honestly, the photos...egads! It's called lighting people. Also, I don't need a medical textbook view of your vagina to know that you are a woman. This is not sexy to me.

Sigh.

Subtlety? Anyone? Anyone??

My rheumatologist is a man, but other than that I usually stick to women. And I still insist that all female exams are done by a female doctor.

Honestly, I was not raised to trust and/or be comfortable around men. I'm not even comfortable sitting by any man other than K in church, it makes me claustrophobic. I'm one of the least shy people you'll ever meet, but quite a few men have described me as shy.

So, for me, getting a male doctor is a big deal. It's also a sign of how SICK of stupid doctors I am.

Well good for you for making the change but sorry for the circumstances. Men are less scary than giant clams, BTW.

OK, some are less scary than giant clams.

 

[nh23]

I cut my hair off today. I mean all of it. Boy short. It's cute and spiky.


As to your search Kerion. I can't tell you how freaking annoying it is to be hit up as a third all the time. I get mail in CM a few times a week wanting me to join a chick and her Master. My profile says I'm only looking for friends and I'm owned.

So it might be easier if you post your profile and let them find you.

 

[BiBunny]

I AM a third, LOL. So I'll be glad to help you if I can, K.

Getting into my situation was way, way, way outside of my comfort zone. I'm not sure if I should say more or not. Talking about it is possibly even MORE outside said comfort zone.

 

[Keroin]

I cut my hair off today. I mean all of it. Boy short. It's cute and spiky.


As to your search Kerion. I can't tell you how freaking annoying it is to be hit up as a third all the time. I get mail in CM a few times a week wanting me to join a chick and her Master. My profile says I'm only looking for friends and I'm owned.

So it might be easier if you post your profile and let them find you.

Thanks nh and congrats on the new do! As one who was Annie Lennox short for many years, I know how drastic a change it can be.

I have posted my profile but I'm also browsing. I haven't contacted anyone yet because, frankly, I haven't found anyone that remotely pings my radar. Well, there was one, but she was well out of my distance requirement.

I think I need to tweak my profile a bit. You'd think I writer would have an easy time with that part. Yeesh. For my photo I used the starfish & coconut bra pic that I put up on my 40th B day thread - I think it conveys who I am better than some cheesy, spread-legged porno shot.

We'll see how it goes. Hope Level is at about 2.3 right now.

 

[minx1]

Left my house, husband and my then life one night with just one plastic bag of clothes lol (not very well thought out clothes as it happened )

Divorced him

Took him on and went to court to fight for a fair share of my property

Lived alone (I was actually pretty scared to and now love my own space)

Like Cutie put an ad online and went on dates. I don't date (I don't like dating lol, cos I am kinda shy) and certainly not ''blind'' dates, as most of my partners have been friends first. So this was really out of my comfort zone.

Advertised for a Master. Met one and embarked on an LDR. Many comfort zones tested here.

Moved to Australia on my own, bought a car, started a new job and bought a house here.

Have a massive fear of flying. I am absolutely petrified of it, but I have flown to Oz and back alone.

My job forces me out of my comfort zone regularly with some of the tasks I am required to do

I already know a couple more things that I plan to do that freak the hell out of me and are pretty monumental and no doubt there will be other things that I don't plan for.

Strangely I don't like change it makes me feel uncomfortable. Yet I tend to attract and embrace it.
I don't like change and I don't enjoy feeling out of my comfort zone, but I wouldn't have my life any other way. I like challenges, or rather I enjoy ''winning''; doing something I didn't think I was able to do. I really believe it makes you grow, that these things help to shape you and become more resilient.