STD Testing

[curious_hubby]

Does anyone have experience doing an STD test for potential partners who are also somewhat "casual"?

Here is the hypothetical scenario--I meet a nice young man and want to explore my bi side with him. Maybe he wants to explore his latent hetero side with my wife while I watch and help. It's all good.... However hepatitis, herpes, and hiv are really, really bad.

Does anybody know how the three of us can make sure we are all safe? Should I just call up planned parenthood and make an appointment for the three of us?

An assumption--we are not testing for a one night stand with someone we meet in a bar. Rather, we would have a friendship first, at least in this hypothetical situation.

Thanks y'all

 

[Noneyabizness]

Does anyone have experience doing an STD test for potential partners who are also somewhat "casual"?

Here is the hypothetical scenario--I meet a nice young man and want to explore my bi side with him. Maybe he wants to explore his latent hetero side with my wife while I watch and help. It's all good.... However hepatitis, herpes, and hiv are really, really bad.

Does anybody know how the three of us can make sure we are all safe? Should I just call up planned parenthood and make an appointment for the three of us?

An assumption--we are not testing for a one night stand with someone we meet in a bar. Rather, we would have a friendship first, at least in this hypothetical situation.

Thanks y'all

Well, any partner that is "casual," shouldn't be trusted completely when it comes to sex. If they are being "casual" with you, they may very well be the same with someone else. What about using condoms? Sex is a lot of fun, but not worth a deadly and/or lifelong disease IMHO.

You all can be tested, but that doesn't mean the virus isn't there...it may not be showing up at that point.

 

[Weird Harold]

Does anybody know how the three of us can make sure we are all safe? Should I just call up planned parenthood and make an appointment for the three of us?

That sounds like as good a plan as any, although I'd make three appointments.

Testing is, however, not a "cure-all" that makes sex safe and happy-ever-after. At the very best, all testing proves is that the person is clean at the time they were tested. That doesn't mean the person is still "safe" when you get the results.

An honest and complete sexual history is almost more important than testing is.

Exclusive contact after testing is also very important -- Not necessarily limted to you, your wife, and your friend, but to "known safe" people. How you determine"known safe" is up to you.

"Casual sex" is a very dangerous proposition in this day and age and is almost an oxymoron if you plan to survive it.

"Know your Partner(s)" is the best advice I can give. That includes knowing their history, habits and associates as well as their test results.

 

[curious_hubby]

Hi everybody,

Thanks for your thoughtful answers, but I must have asked the wrong question...

How about this: Has anyone gone through the process of bringing another lover into a couple and getting them tested for STD? If so, how did you do it, where did you do it, how did you verify the results, etc?

My wife and I got tested for HIV when we started dating, but that's all. I would have to know that our new friend didn't have anything, at least at the time of testing. I am just wondering if anybody has already done this and could recommend places to go or avoid.

Of course, don't let liars and losers into your bed. And take enough time to be sure.

Cheers

 

[lovechild27]

Sit down with the guy and be straight with him. If he wont do it, find someone who is willing to. Your wife can go get a pelvic where they will do the test, and you and this other guy can go to wherever guys go for STD tests. I dont think that there should be any indesicivness about this issue. IT NEEDS TO BE DONE!

 

[Nefarious]

Testing

I just got a physical, and as the doc was filling out the paperwork for the lab, you know, cholesterol counts, etc., I just asked him to check the boxes for STDs. It's just that simple.

I have been told that my willingness to provide recent test results says great things about my respect for my potential partners. And I expect my partners to be concerned enough for their own health that they get themselves tested for their own piece of mind. True, a clean test is not a guarantee that they are still clean a week or a month later, but it is a LOT better than the "rose colored glasses' outlook that some people have. "I don't fuck diseased people" isn't a good enough answer when ask about their health.

A few months back I visited a coworker in the hospital. He was there courtesy of a pick up in a bar that resulted in Hep A and B infections. Bacterial infections are bad enough, but at least they are curable. Viruses are forever! 12 years ago I watched a friend die of AIDS. He had great fun fucking around, and then reality caught up to him in a big way.

Don't take chances! Get tested, and share yourself only with other people who respect themselves enough to insist on testing.

 

[Guest]

You've had some good advice here so far. Let me start off my post with a couple questions (or so ). First of all, currently are you and your wife only sexually active with each other? If so, is it a safe assumption that you two are clean? Have you two been exclusive and/or tested since becoming a couple?

It's good that you mentioned you two are looking for "friends first". That is always a must, in my opinion, for anything of a sexual nature. Ultimately, you'll have to trust your gut on this third party. You'll have to trust that up to the point of the "new" testing he is clean. (HIV can show up long after exposure, therefore testing may not always be accurate!)

Planned Parenthood is one of many places a person can go for STD testing, but if someone does not have health insurance I'm sure PP is the cheapest alternative. They do accept both men and women as clients/patients. And, all three of you will need your own, personal, appointment. (If you're lucky with time slots, ya'll may be able to go the same day.)

Keep in mind that you still have somewhat of a wait once your appointment is done. (And I'm not sure if different states have different "rules" or if PP is the same nationwide, but...) Usually they do not contact you unless something comes back positive in all tests but HIV, and that you have to come in personally for those results. Even if they're negative, they take you to an office to keep things confidential.

As others have mentioned, though, what's "wrong" with using condoms with this man? Sure, they're not 100% affective, but they're more affective than bareback!

 

[Guest]

That last post was by me. Damn net.