stayng focused

[horsie_gurl]

Somehow I can get really turned on and then lose track of my mind.

I am in the middle of masturbating and I am so aroused and wet then all of a sudden i catch myself thinking about a short cut out of my neighborhood. Where in the world did this come from? By the time I'm wondering my my mind was wandering I am dry and not aroused in the least. Here comes the irritation and frustration. What in the world? I still want that orgasm, but my body won't be able to cooperate for a while.

Same thing happened while I was with my S.O.S. I know it makes me depressed to think but he was on top of me we werent having intercourse, more like a dry humping with clothes on and a masturbation session all at once. he was rubbing against my leg while i rubbed myself off. but i actually lost focus and couldn't get off while i had a constant reminder of what i was doing.


Its almost like I dont care and I'm just working for the orgasm for no reason. why else would my body dislike me so much. I used to be able to get off in 20 min. max now it takes 30 min. min. its ridiculous. and it must be a vicious cycle because the more frustrated i get the more i focus on that rather than pleasing myself and so on.

Its so simple, i just dont know if im losing touch with my body and dont even know what gets me off anymore. help!

 

[TallMan60]

Somehow I can get really turned on and then lose track of my mind.

I am in the middle of masturbating and I am so aroused and wet then all of a sudden i catch myself thinking about a short cut out of my neighborhood. Where in the world did this come from? By the time I'm wondering my my mind was wandering I am dry and not aroused in the least. Here comes the irritation and frustration. What in the world? I still want that orgasm, but my body won't be able to cooperate for a while.

Same thing happened while I was with my S.O.S. I know it makes me depressed to think but he was on top of me we werent having intercourse, more like a dry humping with clothes on and a masturbation session all at once. he was rubbing against my leg while i rubbed myself off. but i actually lost focus and couldn't get off while i had a constant reminder of what i was doing.


Its almost like I dont care and I'm just working for the orgasm for no reason. why else would my body dislike me so much. I used to be able to get off in 20 min. max now it takes 30 min. min. its ridiculous. and it must be a vicious cycle because the more frustrated i get the more i focus on that rather than pleasing myself and so on.

Its so simple, i just dont know if im losing touch with my body and dont even know what gets me off anymore. help!

I think I might have a similar problem, but it's not quite the same. I'm not sure if the desire for my orgasm comes from my body or my mind. My mind tells me that I really want to have an orgasm, but when I have already climaxed 2-3 times that day, I'm not sure my body is really into it. And so then I try to force myself to have an orgasm, having more outrageous fantasies, spending more time, looking at more stuff, talking to more people, whatever. Sometimes this happens when I'm fucking and I fuck for a long time and don't climax.

I think you should consider what is driving you for our orgasm. Many people on here (including myself) tend to sexualize things that are not really sexual, and use sex and orgasms as a means of dealing with upsets or avoiding various aspects of life. If your body wants an orgasm, it will orgasm, but I think it's not really your body that wants it, at least right then.

Another thing to consider is just to relax if you find you lose focus. Do something else and the focus will come back when it's time. With a former lover I had, each of us were free to say that we "lost the mood", we would just top, no questions asked. It never worked to try to force it.

Hope I'm at least somewhat helpful.

 

[horsie_gurl]

ahh yes thanks. I do think i use orgasms more as a form of stress relief than sexual desire. Sad, but yes i do. Actually after i posted this i shut down everything and laid in bed. Then i got more relaxed and tried again. Now I feel foolish saying that I can come back on here and say I just had an orgasm after I posted that, but that is the usual case.

 

[TallMan60]

ahh yes thanks. I do think i use orgasms more as a form of stress relief than sexual desire. Sad, but yes i do. Actually after i posted this i shut down everything and laid in bed. Then i got more relaxed and tried again. Now I feel foolish saying that I can come back on here and say I just had an orgasm after I posted that, but that is the usual case.

I think when you take the pressure off of yourself to have an orgasm it makes it easier. When you try to force it, you are going against your body. I'm glad you had an orgasm, and I hope that it was a nice one.

 

[thirty]

Somehow I can get really turned on and then lose track of my mind.

I am in the middle of masturbating and I am so aroused and wet then all of a sudden i catch myself thinking about a short cut out of my neighborhood. Where in the world did this come from? By the time I'm wondering my my mind was wandering I am dry and not aroused in the least. Here comes the irritation and frustration. What in the world? I still want that orgasm, but my body won't be able to cooperate for a while.

Same thing happened while I was with my S.O.S. I know it makes me depressed to think but he was on top of me we werent having intercourse, more like a dry humping with clothes on and a masturbation session all at once. he was rubbing against my leg while i rubbed myself off. but i actually lost focus and couldn't get off while i had a constant reminder of what i was doing.


Its almost like I dont care and I'm just working for the orgasm for no reason. why else would my body dislike me so much. I used to be able to get off in 20 min. max now it takes 30 min. min. its ridiculous. and it must be a vicious cycle because the more frustrated i get the more i focus on that rather than pleasing myself and so on.

Its so simple, i just dont know if im losing touch with my body and dont even know what gets me off anymore. help!

As a man, I cannot control my body sometimes: my penis cannot erect even I'm with a naked attractive woman and I'm horny.

I used to think it's not a problem for women, I mean they don't have to stay hard before the intercourses.

I believe you don't have to worry about it: sex cannot be perfect all the time.

 

[SweetErika]

I've had trouble with this in varying degrees for a long time.

What works best for me is fantasizing. If I'm in the fantasy, my brain's aroused and I'm far less likely to grab hold of distracting thoughts, including worrying about how long it's taking. I also work that kind of fear/frustration into my fantasies, turning it around so it works to my advantage. When I'm with a partner, I incorporate whatever we're doing into the fantasy.

The fantasy material has to be really good, though. I usually read several stories in the genre(s) that get me going, and then weave the pieces I find most arousing into a story in my head.

So, perhaps you could focus on distracting yourself from the distractions with stories and/or fantasies. If you get distracted, stop, collect yourself, get back into the fantasy and then resume the stimulation. Little breaks from the stimulation serve to "reset" the nerves and build the tension, which can get us to orgasm quicker. I often find I take far less time to get there (like 10 mins vs. 45 mins) when I force myself to take small breaks, instead of continuing on in the hope it'll happen.

 

[Jackotheshadows]

I agree with SweetErika, fleshing out your fantasies is pretty helpful. Another thought might be to focus less on the goal (orgasm) and more on the trip. I tend to use orgasms as stress relief, but it's a little different for guys than women. What I have discovered is that the things that can really get us going sometimes changes over time, and if you aren't hitting the new "buttons", it might not work very well.

Just a thought.