Staying Hard

[BBW_Hunter]

Ok....

Time to embarrass myself. Whenever I have sex and ejaculate, as far as the actual intercourse is concerned, it's over. Of course there's still hugging, kissing, oral play, etc.

What I want to know is this ; After ejaculating, is it possible to stay hard? After ejaculating I cannot get it up. I was wondering if there are any drugs or techniques you guys/gals may know of.

Please....HELP!!!!

P.S. >> If this topic has already been posted, please forgive me. I tried doing a search several times but there must be something wrong with the search function because I keep getting the PAGE NOT FOUND file.

 

[emap]

That's fairly normal in men over the age of say 20. Just have to cuddle and wait, it will come back up eventually. Some men it's 5 minutes, some it's an hour, some it's even longer, it just depends on the guy. I have once met a guy who just couldn't get it up again the same day, so once and your just done is pretty darn uncommon.

However most guys will want to roll over and go to sleep, so your wanting to cuddle afterward is a good sign, you just need to give yourself some time before trying to get the bedroom rocking again.

 

[Koroshinobi]

There is a Taoist technique where you apply pressure on the perenium ( the area between the testicle and the anus, right before orgasm and keep pressure on fo rthe duration of orgasm. If you do it right you will have an orgasm with out ejaculating. It works really well for me once you get good at it you can learn how to seperate ejaculation from orgasm. My record using this technique is 6 sperate consecutive orgasms in less than 2 hrs. Granted I am 19 but that is still pretty good, without the technique the best I can mange is 3.

 

[mikeofokc]

Staying Hard? Depends which Head you mean

Well everyone is different and we also change with age and with our own understanding of ourselves and what really arouses us.

In my younger years I was just like you, after ejaculating I was pretty much done for the night. I didnt know why but I almost felt drained after cumming sort of like I had been drained(no pun intended) of my energy. Even if the sexual activity wasnt that demanding I needed to go nite nite although if I had masterbated I certainly didnt feel as exhausted. I think most men are like me because we hear so much about women being disappointed that their man orgasmed before she could and the man then fell asleep. Also the penis is very sensitive after cumming so I wasnt really in the mood for further stimulation so I always wanted to make sure she had her orgasm then me have mine and then I could snuggle with a smile on my face.

In my mid twenties I could get hard again and not be as sensitive but I still wasnt all that responsive to more physical stimulation. I had a few multiple orgasm nights but they were rare. Then I kept reading where some men were able to have multiple ejaculations or "bells" and I wondered how in the hell they could have the same intense orgmasm I did and have any fluid or energy or interest to saddle up and ride again. Was it true or just male ego BS?

As I aged and let more stress effect me I found that both my hardons and orgasms became less and less. Trials of Viagra didnt really seem to restore my youth although they did return the Morning Missle that I had as a teen. Of course as a teen I was embarrassed to have that woody when I was trying to get dressed and hoped no one saw. Hell, now I jump for joy, wake up the whole house, dance in front of the mirror, take a family photo of me and Mr. Big and run up and down the street proudly showing off to the neighbors my new arrival. Thank goodness I had it happen while staying at the mother-in-laws house, bet I dont have to see that naggy old bitty for a long while.

Anyway, we change because of age, stress and something I really overlooked and that is self understanding what it is that sexually turns us on the most. Age is really more a matter of how good of shape your body is in and how confident or good you feel about yourself. Exercise and diet helped me get into condition again and made a big difference. Stress is something I may always have trouble with but as I learn to limit it, then Mr. Happy can perform like he was in his twenties again. But the really great thing I discovered was the true understanding that great sex is between our ears first and then between our legs. Its 90% mental. I have found that if I can keep the right mental image while also interacting with her mental images and desires that I can not only get and stay hard easier, but orgasm more and regain hardness quicker. Its a matter or passion, physical contact, sharing, undestanding, interactive mental sitmulation of each other, respect, trust and love.

Some guys are lucky and I guess dont have the type stress that effects them sexually. Some may be not ever get over senitive. Some guys are like me. And worse yet some never try to change or improve their sex life. At least you are asking questions and seeking to improve the pleasure you can give and receive. Dont be as slow as me and accept that you know it all or that your body has limitions and certainly dont limit your mind. You will find that staying hard is very easy if your not hard headed.

 

[Quoll]

Yeah I know this is the slack way of doing things.........that`s all.

Some men need hours or even days before they can ejaculate again, others can have two to four ejaculations in an hour.
Sexologist speak of the "refractory period" following male ejaculation. The refractory period is often miss-defined as the amount of time before a man can become erect again; in fact it's the time during which a man can not ejaculate again, even if he does become erect again. During intercourse, some men, even some their thirties, can keep going after climax because they do not lose their erection if stimulation continues. These men may eventually ejaculate again, but it will take from several minutes to half an hour for that to happen. This delay is the refractory period.
Other men can maintain their erection almost indefinitely after ejaculation, but find a second climax impossible for hours. There are also men who can't get another erection for some time, but may be able to ejaculate a second time, without an erection, if adequate stimulation is provided. This shows that the refractory period and the ability to become erect again are not directly tied to each other.
Why some men can maintain their erection, some get another erection quickly, and some can't get an erection for a good while, is not known. Similarly the great variety in the length of the refractory period is not fully understood. In general a man's down time grows longer as he ages, but this tends to be relative to what he could do when he was young, and the range of times for men of the same age gets wider each decade. In part it seems that what we do, or don't do, has some affect. A man who regularly goes for a second erection and or climax when he is young, is far more likely to be able to do the same thing when he gets older.
It also seems that a lot of this may be "in our heads". Sex is very much a mental activity, and if we don't think we can do something, then we are not going to do it; period! Beyond that, arousal is very much mental and emotional, so how we feel about our wife, and how she responds to us, can significantly affect both our desire and our ability. If she desires another orgasm after we are "done", the sights and sounds of pleasuring her again may get us erect again even though physical stimulation would not. Similarly, if she comes on to us in a provocative way, it will be much more arousing than if she approached us half heartedly.

The last sentence is a big clue I think.

 

[biker75]

What I want to know is this ; After ejaculating, is it possible to stay hard?

As for refractory period after having a full blown orgasm and ejaculation ... health has a great deal to do with it. If you exercise and eat well, you will have a more healthy libido. The more I am turned on, the shorter the refractory period ... same if I have been more active.

I wouldn't mess with drugs if you don't need to.

Practice kegel exercises – flex the muscle that makes your cock move / get harder … same muscle you would flex to hold piss in. Flex that muscle as hard as you can while you are cumming. It's really hard work but an awesome sensation ... you can have an orgasm without ejaculating. You should be able to stay hard and start over, but it takes practice to get the muscle stronger. Try it on you own first and hands totally off while you are cumming so you can concentrate on flexing.

Other way around …

If I slowly, slowly, slowly get really close I can ejaculate without having an orgasm. It's not quite the force and amount of a normal load. I don't know how normal this is? It doesn’t change my level of excitement. I like to do this when I'm getting oral. Also takes practice.

 

[AppleBiter]

My SO has always stayed hard after he cums . . . usually for about 15-20 minutes or so. Sometimes, it has freaked him out because it wouldn't go down after a long period of time. He's 26. I don't know that he does anything particularly unique in order to keep his erection . . . it's just the way his body works, I guess. In any event, I know from first hand experience that it's definitely possible.

It couldn't hurt to see a doctor and find out what advice they have for you. Maybe there's something you could change in your diet, maybe you need a chiropractor to adjust your hips, who knows? I would definitely recommend going to a doctor as your best option.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Ahhh yes, There is one big thing you can do about it. Deal with it! I know it sounds crazy but the truth is don't stress because it's really just natural in men of advancing age. I've found that while I can last considerably longer than I could when I was 20, it takes me a while to bounce back now. That's why I always make sure the wife is well staisfied before myself.

There are lots of tings you can do, and all actually work. I can honestly say that since I started working out and got into better shape, started eating better, and started taking vitamins, that I do bounce back faster. Health has everything to do with it, especially with men of middle age. Now, that being said, if my wife really wants to, there are ways she can get me going again, but I still need a good 15 minutes before I can rebound.

Now, something I haven't tried that might work is a cock ring. I read an article on lit that suggested this can help in not only staying power, but time it takes to rebound. Here's the link: You Should Try A Cock Ring

 

[Exciteher]

If I slowly, slowly, slowly get really close I can ejaculate without having an orgasm. It's not quite the force and amount of a normal load. I don't know how normal this is? It doesn’t change my level of excitement. I like to do this when I'm getting oral. Also takes practice.

Yes, this is "normal" enough...what ever normal is! Lets put it this way... many men do that, that is part of multiple orgasm for a male. In Tantra they call this "Riding the tiger"..you ride the edge of orgasm, and can have many of these little non ejaculatory or light ejaculation orgasms. They are not so little as you imagine as you become use to feeling what else happens in your body when you have these...but it is a subtle thing at first. What you say about being able to maintain your desire when you do this is very important. Sex is not just something you do... it is also an energy. And there are ways of having sex and orgasm that cause you to lose sexual energy. But there are ways of having sex.. or more accurately, being sexual.. that allow you not only to keep energy... but gain sexual energy.

Biker75, usually it takes some work to get where you are... did this come natural to you or did you just .."figure it out"? Hey, with experimentation and practice go might be able to go further. You say you have to make your approach slowly, yes this is how it was for me at first too.... but with work I learned to do this in more vigorous situations, don't have to approach so carefully which is good when the need arises for fast, hard or rough fucking. Learning how to have these "mini" orgasms and how to gain sexual energy has a real benefit, when you do ejaculate "normally"... it will be massive and your refractory period will be shorter..way shorter... sometimes you will not really lose your erection, and can carry on until exhaustion... at least that is how it is for me, your mileage may vary!

OK back to the main topic.

BBW_hunter, how is your level of desire after you have an orgasm? Do you feel a big loss of sexual energy or are you still horny..or really horny??

After ejaculation there are two things that happen.. a physiological "letdown" and possibly a letdown of desire, often desire completely disappears. Yes, the physiological letdown is built in by nature...but just how "down" it gets, as others have mentioned, is a function of what shape you are in. Look at physical factors if you are still screaming horny after you have an orgasm.

If that is not the case, then your refractory period will be very affected by how much your desire has collapsed. Eariler I said "possible letdown in desire" because if you learn how to gain sexual energy as opposed to losing it, there is no letdown in desire... and there can be an big increase!

OK, so how to do this? Expand your sense of what sexuality is, de-compartmentalize it. In addition to what people have already mentioned, there is a lot of stuff on the net and elsewhere about male multiple orgasm, definitely check that out. Also get a feel for what Tantra is all about , study it, do the exercises. Learn how to breathe, this is super important, do a breath workshop. Get educated about your body and how your sexuality really works, sexuality.org has some good resources. There are women out there who know about this stuff, if you can find one, and can be open to her, your life will never be the same.

Yes, as we get older, everything physical suffers a bit. But I do not buy into that as the main factor. I'm in my mid 50's and can go farther and harder than I could when I was in my 20's... guys, its all about energy. I think it is more a matter of taking sex for granted...approaching it the same way with the same headset year after year, it becomes a habit instead of the wild thing it is, and your body says "yawnnnn" after you shoot your load.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

Sometimes it's just the extra effort...

I've had a number of occasions when one simply wasn't going to be enough, and though I was all hot and sweaty from getting the first one, I would put in a considerable amount of extra effort and achieve a second, sometimes more satisfying one the second time.

During the second effort I would make sure that I wouldn't withdraw AT ALL, and just keep pumping away despite feeling like I was, and to a degree did, lose my erection because of already having one orgasm.

 

[biker75]

Biker75, usually it takes some work to get where you are... did this come natural to you or did you just .."figure it out"? Hey, with experimentation and practice go might be able to go further. You say you have to make your approach slowly, yes this is how it was for me at first too.... but with work I learned to do this in more vigorous situations, don't have to approach so carefully which is good when the need arises for fast, hard or rough fucking.

The shooting without having an orgasm seemed to come naturally, although like I said I can't really control it if I approach the edge to fast.

I read about the the other ... using pubococcus muscle to orgasm without ejaculating ... and just worked at it.

Sorry to take over your thread BBW_Hunter. Think about what kind of health you are in and your eating habits. Improving those will improve libido.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Yes, as we get older, everything physical suffers a bit. But I do not buy into that as the main factor. I'm in my mid 50's and can go farther and harder than I could when I was in my 20's... guys, its all about energy. I think it is more a matter of taking sex for granted...approaching it the same way with the same headset year after year, it becomes a habit instead of the wild thing it is, and your body says "yawnnnn" after you shoot your load.

I agree that I don't think age is the MAIN factor, but it is a part of it because our bodies change and MOST of us start to get out of shape as we age. If you keep yourself in tip top shape there's no reason you can't keep your vitality until you are dead. Like I said, I started getting back in shape and playing competitive sports a few years ago and I've seen a HUGE change in how I react sexually. I also lost weight, changed my diet, which increased my energy, got my bloodpressure under control, etc.

All of these are problems men face as they advance in age, and all of these effect our libido. In general, the better general health you are in , the better your sexual health will be.