Starving for feedback

[Giraffan12]

Hey, I'm a new writer, and I have an active series going right now. I was hoping that people would comment like I've seen on many other stories but no one is telling me what they like and what they don't like.

So my writing feels completely masturbatory (No pun intended), and I'm just writing what I like. Not that I would change the subject matter based on feedback but I might change language or descriptions, things like that.

If I'm being completely honest I just want to hear from people who enjoy my story. I see myself losing motivation if the only thing I can see is how many stars I have and how many views I have.

Here is the first of 4 chapters (So far):

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/neighbors-50

It's an exhibitionist story about a husband who finds out his wife is cheating.

Thanks in advance for anyone who replies or reads it.

Feel free to contact me if you want to give private feedback.

 

[soulhouse]

It's not my kind of thing, so I don't feel able to comment fairly, but I read the first part and it seemed well written, albeit with a few errors around punctuation. You gave it an emotional dimension, which is an important element of good erotica, to my mind. 2,000 words is very short for a chapter though. My personal preference is for at least 6,000 words, or approximately 2 Literotica pages. From what I've read, most writers here prefer to write at least that, some much more. Longer stories seem to be better received too.

I feel your pain regarding comments though. I've written just one, three part story to date. My first entry has had 32,000 views and 7 comments, which I was reasonably happy with, but the second instalment only 2 comments from 18,000 views and the third and final part 1 comment in 8,000 views. When I started out, I had no idea feedback would be so scarce.

It's been particularly disappointing with the third part, because I'm a slow writer and spent many, many weeks devising, writing, editing and considering its 8,500 words. Like you, I find the scores pleasing, but scant motivation, the likes and followers better, but appreciative comments the greatest reward by far. One comment in return for what may have amounted to hundreds of hours' work has been deeply dispiriting, and made me question if I will continue.

Just now, SimonDoom mentioned receiving 13 comments in the first 13 hours after publishing his newest story, so maybe one should be encouraged that it is possible to get decent feedback. Of course, he's a very experienced author, with 2,500 followers, and I doubt I'll ever reach anywhere near that level, but maybe we're simply expecting too much as newcomers.

 

[AlinaX]

It's so very rare to get any comments. Some of my favourite stories I've written have received none so far.

Loving Wives is where to publish if you like getting comments (and don't mind if they're, "The bitch is a whore and should kicked out onto the street").

 

[yowser]

I've given it a read, and here are my thoughts. It is not my favorite category or type of story, so take these comments with (more than) a grain of salt, others more aligned with your interests will likely be more enthusiastic.

Mechanics are more than serviceable, your writing is mostly clear, a straightforward narrative style. I am a hyphen-enthusiast, so I would have 'shoulder-length' hair rather than two words, but that is nit-picking. You got 'racking your brain' right at least. I will object (strenuously) to the overused, hyperbolic sexual terminology though - spare us the 'perky tits' and measurements (the other guy's cock having 'three inches' more, etc).

The main drawbacks of the story are:

1. Way too fast. The buildup is zero to sixty in two seconds, without any chance of getting to know the characters, or for the reader to start to develop some questions and interest about them, their behaviors, their motivations.

2. Unrealistic scenes. Doing the voyeur thing is inevitably complicated, yet he managed to pull out specialised camera-viewing equipment in the blink of an eye? The view is never good enough, never long enough, and while yes, this is a fantasy, it just doesn't ring true.

The wife doing the cheating next door also felt way too far out there, maybe if you had built in some background, why she might be interested in the folks next door, character quirks of her own or some observation of the other guy's interest, maybe.

3. Unappealing characters. A story doesn't need to have likable folks, and you don't have any here (at least so far, but maybe you have plans) but they need to be relatable, and that hasn't happened in this section. Better to rope readers in quickly.

I would prefer a little more words on the setting, but others usually don't mind a minimalist approach (where is this apt building? The walls are flimsy? Well constructed?) A visual hint, even a small one, goes a long way.

Sorry I am not more encouraging, you certainly should keep writing. I hate having my own stuff torn up, but since this writing business is a craft, you can always get better at it, always something to work on. And know that your readers are going to be far more forgiving and interested than another fussy author. The trick is making their experience as smooth and pleasurable as possible, and eliminating any pitfalls to their enjoyment.

 

[GoofyRob]

I agree with youser.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

If you want comments, enter one of the Lit contests (they are themed but you could tweak almost any story to fit - I added about 100 words about Valentine's Day to a story so it could enter that contest recently).

Otherwise be prepared for tumbleweeds. Unless you post in Loving Wives, which has opinionated commenters but not necessarily ones you'd care to hear from!

 

[SkyeLake]

Feedback away!

I have been lurking too long, sorry that's just the way I am.
The first part of the story was a little terse. My writing is also in the
Hemingway style with short sentences and a direct approach.
I enjoyed the story and liked the theme of catching his wife cheating and if I can offer one criticism it's that if someone likes sucking dick, they like sucking dick. To blow the neighbor but not her guy? Nah.

Anyway, keep it up and as a writer I don't have to tell you that sometimes we are our worst critics.

Once I let the dog out late at night and found my girlfriend blowing my brother in the back TV room. Did I Jack off in the dark? Hell no, I dropped my shorts and took her from behind as she finished him off.