starting stories

[StrangeLife]

F

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING MULLET - That asshole redneck trucker sure could drive!

I wish I had the talent to write that one... and it would have to feature MacGyver.

 

[Gina_in_Orange]

C'mon, don't be wimpy, take the challenge! Take any of those titles, or your own, and write the first line or para. If you don't like the above, try one of these:

TOO FAT TO FUCK -
EPIGLOTTAL ERUPTIONS -
I'M IN THE NUDE FOR LOVE -
THE BIRDS, THE BEES, AND MY COUSINS -
LOVE IS A MANY-GENDERED THING -
THE BALLAD OF SANDPAPER SAL -
TWO INCHES TOO FAR -
HIS PRISMATIC PRICK -
LIKE YOU MEAN IT -

I'm terrible with titles, so I hope you don't mind my borrowing a couple of yours.

TOO FAT TO FUCK
Beefy. That's the word had Alex used over the phone. "He's a bit, beefy." I could see the sinister curl at the edge of his lips as he said it, ten miles away, sitting at his desk, no doubt enjoying a glass of Scotch just as much as he enjoyed delivering that word. Beefy. The man looked at me with pleasant eyes and a friendly, though plainly nervous smile. Yet as he jiggled out of his undershirt, I could only wonder how many layers of beef lay between that smile and his belt line.

I'M IN THE NUDE FOR LOVE
Three steps away and any residual warmth from my VW's cranked up heater was quickly swept away. My calf-length gray, wool coat, typically a reliable insulator in the worst of winter, now seemed full of cracks. This poorly timed, brisk, autumn wind cut straight through it to my otherwise bare skin. I fought back a full body shiver as best I could. For my stiffening nipples, I could only fight to keep the coarse fabric still. His doorbell rung, I steeled my nerves as I waited. This was my play, no turning back now. With the click of the deadbolt, I cast my last covering behind me, baring myself completely to both the chill and his unsuspecting eyes.

 

[Hypoxia]

I'm terrible with titles, so I hope you don't mind my borrowing a couple of yours.

Feel free. That's what they're there for.

I have a little mental title-generating engine. Its inputs: trite sayings and song/book/film titles. Output: pure gold. Its process: simple twisting, maybe sexualized. Sometimes descriptions and/or first lines flow effortlessly from that. For instance:

BLACK MAGIC WOMAN - I knew I was in trouble when she threw my testicles into the stew pot.
STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE - The dark side of Mercury is a bad place for an orgy.
HONKY TONK CHIMPANZEES - I knew I was doomed when Bertha blew me her simian kiss.
TEST CASE - Tis better to be Wasserman Positive than never to have loved at all.
NONE FOR THE MONEY - The pimp was just *so* unreasonable about finances.
SWING TIME - You'll look sweet / upon the seat / of a bisexual built for two.
MUSIC TO MY EARS - See ya later, masturbater / after awhile, pedophile.
SEX TO SEXTY - I've got four on the floor and a fifth under the seat.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

Password Protected

"I could've sworn it was real, such a vivid, lucid dream. Me, my girl, friends, all hanging out together at our place. Just like we were earlier that night, and I remember we were hanging out catching the CBS Thursday line up. She said that I had passed out in the middle of Two Broke Girls. Sarasota whispered something to me and thats all I remember beforw falling asleep. Although I can't rember falling asleep. It was like the dream started where I had left off, accept I was extremly horny and I was giving Wes head! Sarasota reached down my pants and there was a pussy there, a fuckin pussy! Then I had tits, that you were playing with. Is that fucked up," Zane asked.

"It had to be a dream, I think I would remember you being a chick. Even if you were, you'd be one ugly ass chick,"Matt laughed.

" The shit felt real, man. I mean; not trying to sound gay, but I was- dream me, was lovin the shit, man," Zane said.

"Sounds like deep shit. Psycology shit. I got somebody on the other line, catch you tonight," Matt hangs up and texts Sarasota. "Zane still doesn't have a clue. SMH it's hilarious how you did that to him. I swear you need to tell me how you did it!"