Starting Over

[sallythescorpian]

Physical description:

5'3", brunette, long hair, slim.
Susan Deaveraux


Susan Deaveraux watched the minute hand on the clock tick by with agonising slowness, second guessing her decision.

Jason was deploying, going where the government sent him, someplace wives didn’t need to know, and this was the first time ever she would not see him off. What was the point? They had been married almost four years, and he had been based at home for less than two of those. There had been a little bubble of hope for them, but that had burst when she had miscarried eleven months back.

Things had been falling apart for them, and this leave they had fought the entire time. She would see a lawyer and file for divorce while he was away.

************************************************​

Okay, the premise of this story is as follows:

Husband and wife, marriage falling apart. He’s special forces, deployed into a hostile territory, when he is in an explosion, presumed dead. He’s not. He had extensive surgery to reconstruct his face and he is kept prisoner behind enemy lines.

During his imprisonment, he was tortured for information, using drugs etc, and between that, and the explosion, he has no memory of who he is. He is rescued, along with some others at the prison, and eventually after some time in a military hospital, it is decided that he is the missing Jason Deaveraux, who is reunited with his wife – in the hopes that he will recover his memory, and recall if he spilled any state secrets while in captivity.

He neither looks nor behaves like the man who boarded the plane, and she is not certain if he is who they say he is, and nor is he.

 

[TomOPKs]

He was standing in front of a mirror wondering who the stranger was that was staring back at him. Ever since being rescued from the prison where he had been held he had asked himself that everday. It was a living hell not knowing who you were. He couldn't remember his family, where he grew up or anything else that a person ought to know. There were only 2 clues to his identity a ring on his left hand which he took to mean that he was married and dog tags which had the name Jason Deaveraux, a military ID # and the blood type O+. This wasn't much to go on.

He had bits of memory of some kind of explosion and then being held in a prison of sorts where he remembered being tortured on a regular basis. He couldn't remember what he was being tortured for, what information could he have that would be interesting to anyone. It was just just a few months ago that he had been rescued and taken to an army hospital. Now he was being told that he was going to be released. Apparently his wife was going to flying in to take him home, where ever that might be.

Today was the day. He was dressed in a crisp new uniform of a captain with special forces patches. He was waiting in his hospital room for his wife to arrive. What was he to do, he had no memory of his wife or even of being married. He wondered if he had kids. There were so many questions swirling around in his head.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Susan was still reeling from shock. He was alive???? It couldnt be! She had been informed by Jason's XO himself, he had been killed in the line of duty. There was a grave, and she wondered now if there was a stranger residing in her husband's coffin.

She had been planning on filing for divorce, she had even gone so far as to see a lawyer, and source an apartment, away from the base, and then it had happened. She had felt ill, and on a hunch she had tried a pregnancy test, and to her surprise she was pregnant. It must have happened his first night home, because they had had a flaming row immediatly after, and Jason had spent the remainder of his leave in the spare room.

She cancelled her appointment with the lawyer to progress the divorce, telling him she had changed her mind. Perhaps this was God's way of telling her to give it one more shot.

Five weeks after that, she had opened her door to Jason's XO, who had delivered the news that her husband would not be coming home - ever. He was dead. She had been in a total state of shock, and the morning of his funeral, she began to bleed, and she lost their baby, and the last link she had to him.

Life was cruel.

Later, when she came to terms with her grief, she decided that she had a clean slate to start afresh. She had her military pension, which wasn't much, but Jason had had a good life policy, and the house was paid for. She was working part time, and back in college, due to begin her third year of HR managment, and now, in a bolt from the blue he was back!!

It was horrible, but she resented it. She had her life exactly as she wanted it. It was all about her, for once, and she was enjoying the freedom of having to suit no one but herself. Not to mention that she was dating again, and what about the life assurance payout, and the pension??? What would happen with that.

All in all, she was not so happy at the prospect of having him back. Still, she was still his wife, she guessed, and she would help him get back on his feet, keeping everything plutonic, and then she could go her seperate way. That was the plan.

Arnold Miller, Jason's former XO had told her that Jason had had a rough time, his memory was gone, and that he looked very different from the man who she knew. His whole ID seemed to be based on his possession of Jason's dog tags.

Her heart in her mouth, she parked the car, and went into the hospital, where she was met by Jason's doctor.

"Its very important to get back into what was his normal routine, that will help, but I cant say if he will ever recover his memory, fully or partially. We really dont understand all that much about the brain. Do remember though, its going to be incredibly difficult and frustrating for him, so you much be patient"

No shit Sherlock!! It wasn't going to be a bundle of laughs for her either. He was pretty much fucking up her life, still, she would do this for him.

She entered the room, and saw a man of Jason's build, albeit much thinner, with his back to her.

"Jason? How are you?"

What a stupid thing to say! Could she have thought of a more innane question? Still, she managed a smile and went to shake hands with him - "I'm Susan, your wife!"

 

[TomOPKs]

He was standing there looking out the window trying his best to remember something about his past. He was scared to death to meet his wife that he didn't even know. What had their life been like? Where did they live? Who was she? Just then he heard a female voice say, "Jason, how are you.?" He turned and standing there was a very beautiful woman, nicely dressed, petite but with a very sexy figure. This was his wife? All he could think of was Jason was a very lucky man, but he is Jason.

She had a very nice smile and she extended her hand saying, " I'm Susan, your wife." At first he had no clue what his response should be. There was nothing, no memory of this woman. He shook his head as if coming out of a dream and mustered up a smile and shook her hand saying, " hello. They tell me that I am Jason Deaveraux" Now would a returning soldier going through all he had been through just shake his wife's hand when first being reunited? As almost an involuntary response Jason reached out drawing her to him hugging his wife, holding her close, as he whispered in her ear," help me."

He could feel her body pressed up against his and for just a fleeting moment something felt familar about her. As they pulled apart Jason seemed to recognize a look of shock on her face. How was this going to work? Would they go back home where ever home was and resume a life that he couldn't even remember. The questions were rushing through his head.

 

[sallythescorpian]

God this was worse than she had imagined, and she had imagined it being uncomfortable. They were like two strangers. He didn't recognise her, nor she him. She searched his face, his form for any familiarity, but there was none.

She was taken aback when he pulled her into his arms and hugged her, more so at his whispered plea for help.

Jason never asked for help from anyone, ever!

She had put out her hand, thinking that, given the nature of their parting, it was more.... appropriate, especially as he was a stranger to her.

She blushed as she stepped back out of his embrace, and she coughed to cover her discomfort.

"Well, I guess we better get on the road. Its a three hours trip home from here, but then you know that..... or maybe you dont." she sighed. "Listen, Jace, if there is anything you need to ask me, anything you wonder about, do so, and I'll do my best to help out... but a lot has changed since you left....." she trailed off, realising belatedly that he would not know what had changed, or remained the same, he had no memory of the train wreck that had been their marraige.

 

[TomOPKs]

Jason had to chuckle when she said," if there is anything you need to ask me, anything you wonder about." His life was one big question. As they walked down the corridor of the hospital Jason put his arm around Susan thinking that he just had to be close to her, she was his best chance at getting any of his life back. His first question that he really hated to ask, " do we have any children?" His second question before they got to the car, " was I a good husband, a good lover? I want you to tell me the truth, never lie to me."

When they got to the car that she had pointed out he went to put his duffel in the trunk and went over to hold the passenger door for Susan. However, she went over to the driver side like she was going to drive. Jason gave her a questioning look and said, " I thought that I would drive us home." The moment he said this he realized how rediculous that must have sounded. Not only did he not know where home was but he didn't know how to get there.

 

[sallythescorpian]

What a stupid thing to say! She chided herself as they went toward the hospital exit. Of course he wanted to know stuff - everything, like who he was and where he had been for the past few years, and of course, his life before all that!

She stiffened a little when Jason put his arm around her shoulders.... it felt odd... something he hadn't done in years, not since they were dating, really, but of course, he didn't recall that, he didn't recall anything about their disasterous marraige.

"Do we have any children?"

His question caught her by surprise....... she paused for a moment, sucking in a breath as she remembered the two miscarraiges she had had, one which he would not have known about, even had his memory been intact. She steadied herself, on what was still a painful subject to her and avoided looking at him.

"No. No children"

The went in silence toward the car, his arm still around her, feeling strange.

She pointed out the car, and was about to get in when he spoke again.

"Was I a good husband, a good lover? I want you to tell me the truth, never lie to me."

She was totally unprepared for that question. She looked at him, half expecting this to be in jest, but he was serious. She ignored him, while she got her thoughts together, and opened the drivers door.

" I thought that I would drive us home."

She outright laughed this time, more as a release of the tension, than anything else, and yet, when she looked at him, she regreted it.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know that was cruel. I didn't mean it, it just that this situation is very strange, strained. We're strangers, to all intents and purposes, but sit in, I'll drive us home, and you can concentrate on looking around, see if anything strikes you as familiar."


They drove, the silence oppresive, and she turned on the radio to ease the tension. Her off the cuff comments about looking around to see what was familiar, brought to mind their home. Nothing would seem familiar. She had dumped most of his stuff - all the silly playstation games and the like, in which she had no interest, and in which he had vest a significant amout of his free time. She had thrown out his clothes, his memorablia, almost everything, with the exception of his high school year book, and a photo of him with the team. She felt terrible. She felt she ought to tell him, but then he wouldnt know they were gone, now, would he?

She instantly chastised herself for that uncharitable thought. He was facing a tough battle, and it was not made any easier by the fact that he had not returned to a wife, overjoyed that he had come back from the grave, but rather one who was at best, somewhat disgruntled.

"You want to know what sort of husband you are, what sort of lover?" she asked, addressing his earlier question. She didn't wait for an answer.

"You're a good provider. You work hard. You have never raised a hand to me. You are good fun to be with, when youre out in a crowd. You're funny, at times. You give one hundred and ten percent to the team, and you are a good friend to each of them. They'll probably be a big help to you actually. I can arrange to have them round, that'll help.. "

She deliberately trailed off, not wanting to get into the negative side of it. She was trying to tell him the positives.

"As to what sort of lover......Well, it depends on when you look at our relationship. In the early days, we married six years ago, by the way, well coming up seven next month, and we were together for four and a bit of that - well, you were abroad or deployed somewhere for over half of that. But... we had some good times ... in the early days, you couldnt keep your hands off of me...." she glanced up at him sadly "later on... well, you know how these things go"

 

[TomOPKs]

Susan had said that she would drive us home giving him the opportunity to look around and see if anything looked familiar. They got in and started out with neither one of them having anything to say. The silence was deafening. Susan turned on the radio if for no other reason but to break the tension between the two strangers. Finally she spoke up to answer his questions about what kind of a husband and lover he had been.

"You're a good provider. You work hard. You have never raised a hand to me. You are good fun to be with, when youre out in a crowd. You're funny, at times. You give one hundred and ten percent to the team, and you are a good friend to each of them. They'll probably be a big help to you actually. I can arrange to have them round, that'll help.. " In her words it was obvious to him that she was trying to be positve but it seemed that some how she was leaving alot unsaid. It was like she was giving him just a sketch of his life and not the complete picture.

Jason listened intently and frowned when she mentioned a team. He wondered what kind of team she was referring to. Did he play baseball or maybe some other sport? With a questioning look he asked, " Susan, you speak of a team. Just what kind of team are you talking about?"

Then she continued on with the answer to his original question. "As to what sort of lover......Well, it depends on when you look at our relationship. In the early days, we married six years ago, by the way, well coming up seven next month, and we were together for four and a bit of that - well, you were abroad or deployed somewhere for over half of that. But... we had some good times ... in the early days, you couldnt keep your hands off of me...." she glanced up at him sadly "later on... well, you know how these things go" Jason smiled at her comment about him not being able to keep his hands off of her. He glanced over to look at her in the seat next to him thinking, " how could I not, look at her with sexy long brown hair, a very nice figure with wonderful curves on a petite frame. Jason discovered that the one thing he did remember was his interest in women. As he sat there gazing and thinking about this woman next to him he began to get arroused. His manhood started to swell filling out his pants making it uncomfortable with out a bit of rearanging. It had been along time since he had been with a woman wondering if she was the last woman that he had been with? He wondered if she would notice that he was getting hard?

Again it only seemed like just part of the truth. Maybe she was trying to spare him some terrible part of his life. Maybe he had cheated on her. Maybe he had not been a good enough lover to fulfill her needs. In any event he knew that there was so much more to learn. They drove on in silence for quite a while. Finally Jason spoke, " you really didn't answer my question about whether I was a good lover or not. Did I not satisfy you in bed? I really don't know what you mean when you said ' well, you know how these things go'. "Susan, I'm just trying to figure out who I am/was whether I like what I'm going to hear or not"

 

[sallythescorpian]

" Susan, you speak of a team. Just what kind of team are you talking about?"

She looked at him in shock. Then she realised he didn't remember.

"You are part of a team, or at least you were Jason. A Special Ops team. There are eight of you. You, Andrew, Sean, Mike, Jose, Dave and Stingray - I dont think I ever knew what he proper name is, but that's what you all call him. I dont know what happened. Sean, that's your XO he informed me you had been killed in a routine training mission. That was.... about six weeks I guess, after you deployed."

This was much easier, talking about neutral stuff, non relationship stuff.

They drove on with only the chatter and music on the radio to break the silence. she was aware he was shuffling a bit in his seat, and she wondered if he was uncomfortable, perhaps there were a lot worse injuries that she was not aware of. Then she noticed it. The swelling at his crotch. Guiltily she refocussed on the road ahead, but after another minute, she glanced sideways again. Yep, he was getting a hard on! From talking about the teams?? He had always given his all to them, but she didn't think he got turned on thinking about maneuvers!! It had to be something else.

"You really didn't answer my question about whether I was a good lover or not. Did I not satisfy you in bed? I really don't know what you mean when you said ' well, you know how these things go'. "Susan, I'm just trying to figure out who I am/was whether I like what I'm going to hear or not"

His voice, out of the blue, jerked her attention back to his face, and she felt her own flame, at having been caught.

Feeling defensive, she answered a little more sharply than she might have, and perhaps a little more honestly.

"You wanna know how it was between us Jason. It was shit! I was planning on filing for divorce when you left. You just died before I got the chance, so this isn't some big fuzzy hearts and flowers reunion. I'll help you for a time, til you're back on your feet, but then, I still intend to file for divorce. I have my own life now, and I like it!!

And as for what kind of lover you were - why not aske Rose at the base - she's the colonel's PA. Rumour has it that you were fucking her on a regular basis!! God knows you only came to me when you were drunk!! And then, it was mediocre at best!!"

She was silent for a moment, all the hurt and nastiness of their relationship spilling out, and then, she looked at him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You were away a lot. You put in long hours at work - training and so on, and your free time was mostly for you buddies. You wife featured only when you had nothing better to do. When we married, Jace, I was so in love with you, and I mistook your lust for love, but that faded, and then after I lost the baby, we drifted further apart, and then I heard you were with Rose, and god knows I wouldn't let you touch me then. But outside of all the rest of that, sex?? as I said, you were wild for me in the beginning, but the novelty wore off, and well, we never really hit our stride, each never getting what we needed from the other, although what that was I couldn't say...." she trailed off, feeling bad for dumping all this on him.

She turned to him - "we have another hour and a half to go. Do you want to stop for something to eat, or press on home?"

 

[TomOPKs]

Jason was devastated when she went off on him, telling him what a terrible person he had been to her. He looked at her and thought to himself, "how could I have been so stupid to cheat on this lovely woman?" Jason put his hands to his head and he thought about all that she had said and wondered if he was still this same guy. Would she go through with the divorce? He knew that if he was as bad as she let on and she was told that he had been killed then she probably would have felt relief not sorrow. Then finding out later he was still alive, no telling what she was feeling but probably something on the line of anger.

Jason was brought out of his thoughts when she turned to him - "we have another hour and a half to go. Do you want to stop for something to eat, or press on home?"

It just hit him that he was hungry. He was too anxious this morning to eat breakfast and lunch just didn't appeal to him so looking over at her with a weak smile he said, " if you don't mind I would like to stop and get a bite to eat. I haven't had a thing to eat all day." Then there it was again a flash of color and that tune running in his head. "Susan did you have a favorite red dress that I liked or maybe a sexy red nighgown that you wore? Every time I look at you the color red flashes in my mind and then I keep hearing the words to a song,' Lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek There's nobody here it's just you and me. It's where I wanna be. But I hardly know this beauty by my side. I'll never forget the way you look tonight'. That tune keeps playing through my mind but it didn't start till I saw you in the hospital." For some reason just asking this question got to him and once again his manhood started to swell. What was it that he was trying to remember?

 

[sallythescorpian]

It was most likely a good idea to stop and eat, break the journey, and more importantly to break the ice in the car, as she didn't relish driving the remainder of the way home, with tension palpable in the air.

His question seemed to have an urgency about it, and she wracked her brains. Had she had a red dress, something that he might remember?? Not that she could think of, and Chris de Burgh's Lady in Red wasn't ringing any bells either. She glowered, thinking perhaps it was something in reference to Rose, the woman she believed him to be seeing on the side. She looked up at him, and his face held no guile, he was genuine in his belief, his hope that that meant something to her, to them, perhaps.

"I cant think of anything, Jace" she said, slipping into calling him that again. He had been Jace to her since she'd first met him, only graduating to Jason when she was mad at him, or for the last year of their marraige, when she'd been angry at him so much that it simply became her habit.

"I'll give it some more thought. If it hits you that strongly, it most likely means something! Leave it with me!" she said, and then reached out and squeezed his hand. He was trying, she could make a bit of an effort too. It wouldnt change anything, but it wouldn't do any harm either.

They entered the small roadside diner, and took a booth. The seats were a red leather, and they were cracked in places, but it was clean, and the food smelled good.

"What do you like to eat?" she asked, and then mentally kicked herself, beginning to realise just how difficult this must be for him.

She sat and looked at him, searching him for anything that was familiar. Nothing. Not his posture, his facial expressions, not even his speach patterns, nothing was as it had been. Even his personality seemed so different. Gone was the cocky, cheeky, over the top man who had excited her so much to begin with, and dissapointed her so in the end. The man before her seemed much more....... even keeled, but of course, that would all change when he got his memory back. She'd do well to remember that!

For now, though, he looked so lost, so crushed that his snippet of memory didn't have some special meaning for her, and she reached out across the table.

"Listen Jace, give it time. I'll help, as much as I can. Once you're back in familiar surroundings, wander round, look about, and relax. The doctors said its not something you can force, trying too hard might be counter productive. What about movies, music, sports... do you have any recollections of any of them. If not, watch some movies, see if you recall anything, listen to music, see what you like now, and take it slowly, step by step. We'll do this, okay?"

 

[TomOPKs]

"I cant think of anything, Jace" she said He was so disappointed. He was hoping that maybe that had been their song and maybe she had worn a sexy red dress or a red nightgown that he had always liked seeing her in. Maybe this snipet of a memory was with the other woman that Susan had told him that he had been seeing. If that were true though why did the flash of red in his mind and the song playing in his head only start when he first saw her?

"I'll give it some more thought. If it hits you that strongly, it most likely means something! Leave it with me!" she said, and then reached out and squeezed his hand. The touch of her hand sent tingles all through his body an experience that was totaly foreign to him. He in turn squeezed her hand in his.

They entered the diner and took a seat and Susan asked "What do you like to eat?" With a chuckle and a smile Jason said, " come on Susan surely you haven't forgoten what I like to eat? Since being at the hospital for the last few weeks I haven't found anything that I don't like to eat. However, keep in mind that is hospital food. I think I'll have a cheese burger and fries."

"Listen Jace, give it time. I'll help, as much as I can. Once you're back in familiar surroundings, wander round, look about, and relax. The doctors said its not something you can force, trying too hard might be counter productive. What about movies, music, sports... do you have any recollections of any of them. If not, watch some movies, see if you recall anything, listen to music, see what you like now, and take it slowly, step by step. We'll do this, okay?" He thought that she was making an effort all he could do was hope that in time his memory would return but hoping when it did that he didn't return with it.

Before the food was served Jason excused himself and went to the restroom. When he returned the waitress was carrying their food toward their table so he slid in next to her just as the waitress set their food in front of them. His thigh pushed up against hers and he laid a hand on her thigh with out even thinking and said, " Susan, doesn't this look good. I didn't realize how hungry I really was. Would you please pass the ketchup?"

 

[sallythescorpian]

Susan was surprised when he returned from the men's room, and sat beside her, rather than opposite, but she didn't want to make an issue of it. It would be petty to do so.

She felt his hand on her thigh, and the waitress was serving up their food, and she would feel silly to say something, she she took up her knife and fork, and tucked into her cobb salad.

She watched, out of her peripheral vision, as Jason munched into his cheese burger, and she thought she'd try a little experiement.

"That looks good. Can I have a bite?"

To her surprise, he held it out, and she took a bite. Jason had always complained in the past at her penchant for ordering something low cal and healthy for herself, then asking him for a bite of his, but the new Jason didn't seem to mind at all.

She drank her water, and left half of her salad, asking if it could be wrapped up to bring home. Then she snagged a french fry off his plate and ate it, to see it this would elicit the expected reaction.

 

[TomOPKs]

The food arrived and they began to eat. Jason was famished and got right into his meal. Susan had gotten a big salad which actually looked pretty good and started more or less kind of picking at it carefully. It was about then that she looded over and said "That looks good. Can I have a bite?" He held the burger over toward her mouth to let her take a bite. With a laugh he said, " It's pretty good isn't it? Now don't you wish you had ordered one instead of just a salad?" They continued to eat with little conversation and shortly Susan asked the waitress if she could have a box to take her salad home with her as she had only eaten barely half. With her salad boxed up Susan reached over and stole a french fry from Jason's plate. In a very playful attitude he turned toward her putting his arm around her shoulder drawing her close saying, " hey there what do you think you are doing stealing my french fries? If you had wanted one all you have to do is ask" Then Jason picked up another french fry and held it up just in front of her lips and smiled saying, " does Suzie want another fry?"

Looking at her contemplating whether to eat the fry or not Jason had an urge to move the fry from in front her mouth and kiss her moist full lips. He leaned in briefly then backed off abruptly thinking, " what am I doing? I barely know this woman and more than likely she hates my guts. What makes me think that she would want me to kiss her." He took his arm from around her and sat silently with his eyes down staring at the food left on his plate.

 

[sallythescorpian]

They finished their meal in relative silence, although this time it was a much less strained silence, each thinking their own thoughts.

Susan could hardly believe this was the same man who had left home, and never come back. There was a warmth in this new man ,which the old one had lacked, and yet, even as she found herself warming to him, she was warning herself that as soon as Jason recovered his memory, the old version would return.

He hadn't complained about her snagging his food, asking for a bite of the burger, in fact he had teased her about it. Even calling her Suzie. He'd called her that when they first met, but it had soon evolved into the Susan that he addressed her as, when he was mad.

Her heart had lightened somewhat, when they left and returned to the car, driving along the highway.

"Why dont you fiddle with the radio, get some music you like the sound of, or maybe even something that sounds familiar? I think that would be a start."

While he did that, she concentrated on the road.

"I've gone back to college - I dropped out when we met, so that I could move here, to be with you, but I'm actually starting third year in a couple of weeks."

She looked at him gauging his reaction. While she had mentioned going back to college a few times before, Jason had been dead against it. Pointing out that he was away from home so much, that if she went to college, and focused on her own career, they'd never see each other.

She was just pulling into a road.

"You recognise any of this?" she asked. "This is where we live, third house on the left" and she pulled into the driveway.

 

[TomOPKs]

they finished their dinner, paid the bill and out to the car and on the road again. Susan said, "Why dont you fiddle with the radio, get some music you like the sound of, or maybe even something that sounds familiar? I think that would be a start." Jason started messing with the search button moving through the stations till he finally came across a song that he recognized.
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this--
It's centrifical motion
It's pertpetual bliss.
It's that pivotal moment
It's Impossible
This Kiss, This Kiss
(Unstoppable)
This Kiss, This Kiss
He was humming along to the Faith Hill tune when Susan said, "I've gone back to college - I dropped out when we met, so that I could move here, to be with you, but I'm actually starting third year in a couple of weeks." Jason looked over at her and could tell that she was excited with the prospect of going back to college. He said, " that's wonderful what are you studying?" After saying this he thought to himself that is something that I should have know.

They made a turn and Susan pointed out their home and wanted to know if there was any recollection of the surroundings. As they turned in the driveway Jason had a flash of memory and he said, " I remember stairs and then a door second from the right leading to a bedroom with a large 4 poster bed. There are pillows every where and candles burning. I can even smell something like vanilla." They got out of the car and he followed her up the walk to the front door.

 

[sallythescorpian]

She froze for a moment, as he selected a song he liked. She looked at him, but he didn't seem to notice. Perhaps it was coincidence.

That song always brought tears to her eyes, as she associated it with a particularly nasty fight they had had, she had gone upstairs crying, and several hours later, he had made her a coffee, and brought it up, and sat on the side of the bed, his back to her, and apologised. Not much of an apology, but it had been one of the very, very few ccasions that he had admitted he was at fault. Faith Hill's Kiss had been playing on the stero downstairs, the melody drifting up, and for her, always associated with how he had then taken her in his arms, and just lay on the bed, holding her, making her think that things would be okay, if they just hung in there.

Her thoughts kept her silent for sometime, but then, he had asked about her college course. Almost absent-mindedly, she answered him.

"hmm, I'd doing HR mangement. Its interesting, I love it"

As she parked, he spoke of a very romantic looking bedroom. Their had been nothing like that, nothing at all, and after he had died, she had changed up the furniture, and it was now a very "girly" kind of bedroom. Yes, she had a four poster bed, and broderie angalise bed linens. But there were no candles.

She opened the door, and disarmed the alarm.

"Its easy to remember, its my birthday" she said, in refernece to the alarm code, then she thought she better tell him.

16th November - 1116. Dont worry that you dont know it. You never did remember it anyways." She smiled, taking the sting out of what sh ewas saying.

"Why dont you wander round, and have a look. My room is second on the right, next to the bathroom, and yours is opposite."

 

[TomOPKs]

As they got to the house Susan dissarmed the alarm "Its easy to remember, its my birthday" she said, in refernece to the alarm code, then she thought she better tell him.

16th November - 1116. Dont worry that you dont know it. You never did remember it anyways." Jason thought about that statement for a moment and then with a puzzled look said, "we are married and you are such a hot, sexy young lady how could I not remember your birthday?"

"Why dont you wander round, and have a look. My room is second on the right, next to the bathroom, and yours is opposite." Then it hit him her room was second on the right just like his memory. Just what did this mean? Jason started to wander around and eventually walked into Susans bedroom and there it was a four poster bed. Now he was really beginning to wonder that maybe what he was seeing may not be so much the past but possibly the future. He shook his head thinking that there was no way he could be seeing the future. He stepped into her closet and started looking through her clothes finding all sorts of sexy outfits more suited for going out clubbing than going to classes. Then in the very back of the closet he found it, a red dress that buttoned up the front nothing to fancy, rather simple actually. He pulled it off the rod and carried it out into the hall calling out her name, " Susan, I have something here that I'd like you to see."

 

[sallythescorpian]

"We are married and you are such a hot, sexy young lady how could I not remember your birthday?"

His words brought tears to her eyes. She had wondered that too, but it seemed he could not be bothered. Whenever she had spoken with him about it, he had made her feel as though she was being stupid, and petty. He would tell her he was no good with dates, and that she ought to make allowances, organise something herself, and he would go along. But it was never the same, it never made her feel special.

"I dont know why. I just know that you couldn't, for whatever reason." she said quietly, as she struggled to keep her composure. She began to make a pot of coffee while he went off to look around the house. Then she heard him call out.

" Susan, I have something here that I'd like you to see."

She looked at the dress, and back up at him.

"yes, I have a red dress?? But, its not associated with any special memories. I'd forgotten I have it, I haven't worn it in years, not since....... I was wearing it the morning you left... but I dont think you saw me in it. I was in the kitchen, and you just left. I didn't go down to see you off. "

Had he seen her? Had he looked into the kitchen, before he left, and simply not said something.

"Wait a minute?? Where did you get that?? You didn't go rooting around in there, did you?? "

There was a note of panic in her voice. That had been right in the back of her wardrobe, right near her boxes of..... toys and movies!!"

Their sex like, even when it had be in the early stages, had been pretty much vanilla. He had blind folded her once or twice, tied her to the bed, a time or two, but then, when things had started to fall apart, they had hardly touched each other, and when they did, there was no experimentation. If he had seen anything... She blushed red, and thought she had better password protect her computer too!!!

 

[TomOPKs]

yes, I have a red dress?? But, its not associated with any special memories. I'd forgotten I have it, I haven't worn it in years, not since....... I was wearing it the morning you left... but I dont think you saw me in it. I was in the kitchen, and you just left. I didn't go down to see you off. " Smiling he said," I found it in the back of your closet. You sound like you are scared that I might have found something else in the closet that you don't want me to find. What else are you trying to hide from me?"

Jason looked at her then at the dress and then back at her. With a wicked grin and a stearn voice he said, "Go put it on." He said it more as a demand than a request hoping that she wouldn't make up some excuse not to put it on. "While you are putting it on I am going to see what else there is that you apparently aren't wanting me to see."

He handed her the dress and turned back into her room heading for the closet. He had already looked through most of the clothes but other than a lot of sexy club wear there wasn't anything to out of the ordinary for a woman's closet. So he looked on the floor where he found dozens of pairs of shoes. But in the very back corner there was a box. He pulled it out and pulled off the lid finding all sorts of sex toys. Reaching in he pulled out a leather cuff which could be used for securing either a wrist or an ankle. Just then he experienced another flash of a four poster bed and a woman laying on it spread eagle. This vision or flashback what ever it happened to be was so vivid he dropped the cuff and almost toppled over from his squat position.

He regained his composer and scooped up the box and carried it out into Susan's bedroom calling out to her, " Susan I think there is something that you aren't telling me. I believe you have some explaining to do."

 

[sallythescorpian]

"Go put it on."

Susan stood looking at the red dress, a scoop of ground coffee in her hand, and her jaw hanging open. A part of her rose up in revolt at Jason ordering her about, another part, deep inside of her, pulsed with a dark excitement.

This was something they had not really explored. Yes, they had skirted around the edges, but this was more this was different. This was it. If she did as he told her, perhaps they might have something new and exciting ahead of them, if she refused, it might dissappear, as though it had never been.

What to do, what to do.

She glanced up as the rest of his statement hit. He was going searching in her closet?? She ran up the stairs, and quickly pulled on the dress.

"Jason, no!! That's private!! Get out!! " she squeeked, pulling at him, hoping he hadn't seen too much.

 

[TomOPKs]

"Jason, no!! That's private!! Get out!! " Jason was just regaining his ballance in the closet when Susan came running in screaming. The first thing he noticed was that she was wearing the red dress. In her haste while putting it on she had failed to button all the buttons in front revealing a goodly amount of cleavage. She had grabbed his arm practially jerking him from the closet. Jason still had the box that he had found in his hand. Apparently she didn't hear him from the closet so he spoke up again, " Susan I think there is something that you aren't telling me. I believe you have some explaining to do."
There they stood in her bedroom, Jason holding on to a box of sex toys and Susan in her red dress unbuttoned at the top with a look of terror on her face.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Mortified at his discovery of her most private things, Susan went immediately on the defensive.

She snapped the cuff and the vibrator out of his hand, stuffing them frantically back in the box.

"how dare you! Do you honestly expect me to explain myself to you??? You've been gone two years. I thought you were dead, it would be unseemly for me to date until at least a couple of months after the funeral, so I got a vibe!! Big deal!! Deal with it!! You ahold be grateful that wile we were together, and you were away, out or off Fucking Rose, that I entertained myself with a plastic cock, and not a live one!!! And it wasn't for want of offers, I'll have you know!!"

She was furious, but moreover, she was embarrassed, greatly so!

She flopped back on the bed, covering her face, trying to stave off the tears!!

"now you've seen my toys, my movies, you know I like a little kink, so sue me!! Now fuck off!!"

 

[TomOPKs]

She flopped back on the bed, covering her face, trying to stave off the tears!!

"now you've seen my toys, my movies, you know I like a little kink, so sue me!! Now fuck off!!"
Jason watched as she threw herself back onto the bed and noticed that her dress had ridden up her thighs. He wondered if he should say something or just enjoy the view. Seeing her with her dress unbuttoned a bit from the top showing off her cleavage and the bottom pushed up when she fell on the bed showing off a good deal of her sexy legs he began once again to get hard. He moved over next to the bed and sat down next to her reaching out and pulling her dress down a bit saying, " Susan, I don't know who the man was that you were married to all those years ago but I can assure you that I am not him. I can understand that when I was deployed that you were lonely. I sure couldn't fault you for playing with yourself and relieving your desires. Now tell me about these toys, did we ever use them before our marriage became unbareable for you?" He looked down on the floor at the box fallen open and the contents spilling out. There were 4 cuffs two that appeared larger probably for ankles and two that were smaller which would be for the wrists. He thought at that moment how he would love to pick them up and put them around her wrists and ankles and tie her spead eagle on the bed.

He leaned down and with one hand carefully moved the strands of hair so that he could see her lovely face. Even though he didn't really know this woman by his side he hated to see her so upset. He gently wiped the tears from her face with his fingers.

 

[sallythescorpian]

God, did he have to be so.... so compassionate?? She was trying really hard to dislike him, to stick to her resolve to get rid of him as soon as he was remotely on his feet.

She felt her heart warm to him. He seemed to understand, and he didn't laugh at her as she had expected. She considered for a moment - had they played with this stuff.

"Not a lot, no. I never felt, I dont know, comfortable enough with you..... and well, when we were first together, you tied me up some, blindfolded me" she was blushing profusely now, but she was determined to get this out. "You might have spanked me a little, dominated me..... you know, but then everything seemed to go so wrong, so quickly, and we never really explored much. This stuff - most of it you had before we met, but how much experience you had I dont know. I might have......... called you a few..... names... during a fight or two.. and well, it never came out again. So, how into it you were, or not, I cant really say. How does it make you feel now?"

She held her breath. She had been pretty sure that he might ridicule her, but he hadn't. She wondered how he would handle this?