Starting and stopping a scene...

[Adrenachrome]

I found this message board a few weeks ago and have been lurking in this forum since. I'm not new to BDSM in anyway, I've been involved with it as a Dominant for well over a decade, but have enjoyed reading the discourse here. I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask a question that I'm always curious about. This question is primarily directed towards Dominants, Tops, Masters but the other end of the spectrum could also add interesting answers.

How do you start and stop a scene? Do you ease into and out of it? Or do you simply begin and end.

Again, it's simple curiosity here as I find everyone does it a different way. Which is always interesting to learn about.

 

[Homburg]

I can't say that I have a consistent method. I'm not one for long warm-ups though, that much I will say. I tend to warm-up with whatever tool I am using, and sometimes eschew even that. A scene may be started simply by me pushing her face into the carpet and spanking her ass red.

 

[YourCaptor]

I found this message board a few weeks ago and have been lurking in this forum since. I'm not new to BDSM in anyway, I've been involved with it as a Dominant for well over a decade, but have enjoyed reading the discourse here. I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask a question that I'm always curious about. This question is primarily directed towards Dominants, Tops, Masters but the other end of the spectrum could also add interesting answers.

How do you start and stop a scene? Do you ease into and out of it? Or do you simply begin and end.

Again, it's simple curiosity here as I find everyone does it a different way. Which is always interesting to learn about.

Theirs no real scenes involved, just creative sex. So... it starts when I’m horny and she’s around, to when I’m satisfied.

-shrugs-

 

[myinnerslut]

with rope scenes the starting is the actual tying, the stopping is the untying.

sometimes ends in sex but not always

the only actual ending i can think off was to this big and complex three part scene where i had to come back to reality and out of the "scene world".

a lot of the time its like Master said, id just get pushed into the carpet. or the bed. or against a chair. or commonly to the rack.

 

[intothewoods]

I think this comes up in public play, with Topping/bottoming. There is a certain pressure in doing an impact scene and how to end it. Sometimes there's pushing to a certain point, and then some sort of release or cool down. Some Tops like "after care" - not so much oh, can I bring you something - but like to hug and hold their bottom or just stroke them or something. If it's not that intense, I think there's typically a certain high point of pain and then sometimes some sensation stuff to play off that pain, and wind down a bit.

 

[buxxxom]

While this doesn't happen 100 percent of the time, I start scenes with him offering his body for some sort of humiliation/play that he knows he wants and knows he needs, but is embarassed to ask for. It usually starts as a whisper, and I'll make him repeat it until I'm satisfied and he's cringing. A scene ends with aftercare and a glass of water, always.

 

[Harmony_1985]

We don't have an "official" way of starting cos its whenever the mood takes him while he's over, which I like because I love the spontenaity of it. The last time he was here, he just suddenly shoved me down on the bed and lifted my skirt up and we went from there.

We always cuddle afterwards. I love my post scene cuddles, because they're the best ones ever and they last for ages.

 

[twysted73]

I found this message board a few weeks ago and have been lurking in this forum since. I'm not new to BDSM in anyway, I've been involved with it as a Dominant for well over a decade, but have enjoyed reading the discourse here. I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask a question that I'm always curious about. This question is primarily directed towards Dominants, Tops, Masters but the other end of the spectrum could also add interesting answers.

How do you start and stop a scene? Do you ease into and out of it? Or do you simply begin and end.

Again, it's simple curiosity here as I find everyone does it a different way. Which is always interesting to learn about.

Antissipation is a very powerful element.
Build up most of the time for myself.

When she's eased into her restraints. Methodically. The impliments of her scene inches away...my occasional smile or smirk as I think of and arrange my activities in my mind. Reading her body's language and delighting in her excitement.
Oh yes...I want her thinking about it.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Bit like Homburg described for us. Most things are negotiable to a degree and Master is polite and courteous with me most of the time, even if he makes most of the decisions. A scene will start with something that tells me he's horny. It can be a push or shove, a slap or a word, sometimes just a look. It can start with pleading from me, or some initiation on my part if I've judged correctly that he's in a receptive mood. After that initial point, all bets are off and I obey him immediately and without question. He may or may not ask me what I'm in the mood for but Master is always in total control of whatever transpires.

When he's done, the scene ends. It can end with my release from some bondage or with him stomping off to shower or giving me a hug but always it will be when he is satisfied and expects normal service to be resumed.

 

[Netzach]

I am very spontaneous at home. Start/stop was a big part of my pro life, and it's kind of a turn off in my personal life.

 

[Adrenachrome]

Interesting replies and experiences here, as I expected. Speaking for myself I use clear start/stops in two cases. With an inexperience submissive in order to make it completely clear to them what expectations are and to help guide them into the space they need to be. The other is when bondage is involved. I have found over my years that is is easier and more clear cut to have a sub present to me the position given her that a tie can come from. Neither of these are set in stone though but they are the majority.

When I have worked with a submissive over a period of time and we have learned each other's "way" (movements, moods, tastes, whatever else comes form sharing a dynamic with another in this context) things are much less strict. I'm not a 24/7 Dom, nor am I a pro, so scenes for me are times the two of us set aside for our activities. Given that our head are usually in the right place when we do see one another and expectations are generally set typically by me for her ahead of our meeting.

Again thank you all for the discourse.

 

[Homburg]

That is relevant info, and I should've given that for context.

Both my gals are TPE slaves, and are 24/7. Starting and stopping is thus less relevant than it would be in a non-24/7 affair.

That said, I also do more clearcut starts/stops with bottoms that I am not personally experienced with.

 

[Adrenachrome]

That is relevant info, and I should've given that for context.

Both my gals are TPE slaves, and are 24/7. Starting and stopping is thus less relevant than it would be in a non-24/7 affair.

That said, I also do more clearcut starts/stops with bottoms that I am not personally experienced with.

My intention was to get a spread of points and ideas and not one specific to one scenario. This has always been an interesting issue to me.

In the past, when I still was involved in 24/7 M/s dynamics, the start stop issue wasn't there for obvious reasons. It was more about levels and activities that moved around depending on needs, context and even time of day.