Stalkers

[gunhilltrain]

Well, yeah, this isn't quite like writing for Lit, but still . . .

Maybe I've been a bit too flippant about these things. I can imagine some aggrieved reader coming up to me in the street (after weeks of searching) and saying:

"You must be gunhilltrain."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you are the only old white guy walking around this neighborhood."

Boom!

Stay safe out there.

 

[SamScribble]

Look who's stalking now? Let's stalk to the animals? Shall I stop now?

 

[TxRad]

I have a Stalking thread all my own here in the AH.

 

[MrPixel]

I had a real-life stalker 35 years ago, married woman I had a brief affair with. She didn't take kindly to my coming to my senses and ending the liaison. Tried to run my fiancée off a bridge. Good thing we were already in the process of moving someplace else.

Crazies are everywhere.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I had a real-life stalker 35 years ago, married woman I had a brief affair with. She didn't take kindly to my coming to my senses and ending the liaison. Tried to run my fiancée off a bridge. Good thing we were already in the process of moving someplace else.

Crazies are everywhere.

I'm not sure that Lit is a major source of stalkers because we are mostly anonymous and difficult to find. I've seen much worse, say, on YouTube where people (mostly men) reveal their real names and faces and make their videos inside their own houses or cars. They may give details about their past lives and even where they live now. They will offer "consulting" services for pay in which they encourage viewers to email them or even meet them in person. (That seems to be what that woman in Seattle was doing, but I didn't catch all the details.)

I've seen even more egregious examples on Facebook - like posting info about their kids. I put up that video as a cautionary note about social media. Lit could be seen as a part of social media I suppose.

 

[MrPixel]

Yeah. It's insane the details people put out there for the world to see. In the early days of online forii (dial-up BBS) some folks thought it okay to be open with names and locations, only to casually mention in normal banter something like going on vacation and coming back to a ransacked house. So I've always used a pseudonym, even before crazy lady.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I've heard about those burglary stories. I just noticed that someone I know has foolishly posted a picture showing an Amazon sticker with their address on it. I'm going to contact them today.

Well, I do have my full name on Facebook, but there are no photos of me or anybody I know or am related to. In any case, I rarely look at the page now.

Oh, I see that "crazy lady" is somewhat like the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction. The term "bunny boiler" has entered our language now.

 

[MrPixel]

Oh, I see that "crazy lady" is somewhat like the Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction.

Bingo.

 

[Alitaptap]

Here’s a useful link for anyone who’s been victimized and comes across this thread:

https://www.stalkingriskprofile.com/victim-support/general-advice-for-victims

 

[Seadog777]

Well, yeah, this isn't quite like writing for Lit, but still . . .

Maybe I've been a bit too flippant about these things. I can imagine some aggrieved reader coming up to me in the street (after weeks of searching) and saying:

"You must be gunhilltrain."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you are the only old white guy walking around this neighborhood."

Boom!

Stay safe out there.

I actually had a reader confront me.

It ended badly for him, so Laurel helped me change my name to prevent further such incidents from happening.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I have a Stalking thread all my own here in the AH.

Well, we terminated Xander, Tex.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Yeah. It's insane the details people put out there for the world to see. In the early days of online forii (dial-up BBS) some folks thought it okay to be open with names and locations, only to casually mention in normal banter something like going on vacation and coming back to a ransacked house. So I've always used a pseudonym, even before crazy lady.

Ohhhh yeah. When I started here, my husband had a looooong talk with me about online security. So I have my account here, my accounts on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, I have a gmail account just for writing, but I don't have any actual "real me" social media accounts, and I NEVER share my real name with anyone. I'm sure the NSA or FBI or the IRS could track me down but even my publisher doesn't have "real" information on me. There are some very weird people out there....but if anyone gets too weird on Facebook I just block them.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I actually had a reader confront me.

It ended badly for him, so Laurel helped me change my name to prevent further such incidents from happening.

You don't have to answer for security reasons, but I will ask how he found you. I assume you meant a face-to-face confrontation. My assumption for the last five years has been that it would be extremely difficult to locate a member from Lit info alone.

By the way, my policy now is to generally back away from online "disputes" anywhere rather than prolonging them. It's way too easy to respond and trade insults.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Ohhhh yeah. When I started here, my husband had a looooong talk with me about online security. So I have my account here, my accounts on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, I have a gmail account just for writing, but I don't have any actual "real me" social media accounts, and I NEVER share my real name with anyone. I'm sure the NSA or FBI or the IRS could track me down but even my publisher doesn't have "real" information on me. There are some very weird people out there....but if anyone gets too weird on Facebook I just block them.

I wonder what weird things happen on dating apps now. Two decades ago I was on dating "sites," and texting was called "instant messaging." I think I met about five or six women for first-time dates only. Nothing that bad happened to me, but a couple of women had really foolish proposals of their own. (Nobody knew what they were doing back then.) I saw some other profiles that had very bad ideas too.

 

[Seadog777]

You don't have to answer for security reasons, but I will ask how he found you. I assume you meant a face-to-face confrontation. My assumption for the last five years has been that it would be extremely difficult to locate a member from Lit info alone.

By the way, my policy now is to generally back away from online "disputes" anywhere rather than prolonging them. It's way too easy to respond and trade insults.

He found me at a fundraising Pancake Breakfast.
I didn't recognize him so when he asked if it was me, I thought he was a fan of my work.
When I replied that I was, he got loud and talking some
His wife tried to remind him about my background, but he was too busy trying to be tough
So as soon as he poked his finger in my face, I broke it and his nose.
We went to the same high school together, just ran in different social circles.

 

[ronde]

You don't have to answer for security reasons, but I will ask how he found you. I assume you meant a face-to-face confrontation. My assumption for the last five years has been that it would be extremely difficult to locate a member from Lit info alone.

By the way, my policy now is to generally back away from online "disputes" anywhere rather than prolonging them. It's way too easy to respond and trade insults.

It probably would be difficult to find someone only by using the data on Literotica, but the same is not true for social media sites. Read some books about "How to be a private detective". Many private detectives use social media sites to find people once they have a name or even the name of a close friend. People love to see their pictures on those sites and to tell what is happening to them. All it takes is a post that gives away the state, a picture or two of their home, some statements or pictures of where and what they were doing, and the PI has a good idea of where to look at least if he or she is in the general area of the person they're seeking.

Say you post your picture on social media. That confirms your identity. Then you post a picture of you in front of a mall, but in the background is the marquee that shows the other stores in the mall. That pretty much nails down which mall because all malls are different. Most people don't drive a long distance to their favorite mall, so that gives me a circle around the mall to search, say, 50 miles. Then, I'll go to Google Earth and look at what's inside that circle.

I'll keep looking for other clues like you in front of your house. That gives me the color and description of your house. I might even be able to make out the street address number. Maybe your car is parked where I can see the license number. Now I can identify the car. Showing me a picture of you in the pool behind your house is another clue. So is the picture of the back yard of the house across the alley.

It just takes a little time and the ability to wade through all the meaningless stuff people write about themselves, but given the amount of stuff some people post, it can be relatively easy to locate someone.

 

[gunhilltrain]

He found me at a fundraising Pancake Breakfast.
I didn't recognize him so when he asked if it was me, I thought he was a fan of my work.
When I replied that I was, he got loud and talking some
His wife tried to remind him about my background, but he was too busy trying to be tough
So as soon as he poked his finger in my face, I broke it and his nose.
We went to the same high school together, just ran in different social circles.

I think you mentioned him before. So something about your story reminded him of high school with you? You also said it was a small town, and thus your school was quite small. Still seems like a strange incident.

 

[jsmiam]

I suggest for everyone here, limit self references to things with populations of 100,000 or more for any identifying thing you mention here or anywhere else. So if I say I work in IT and play golf occasionally and daydream about threesomes with two hot soccer moms, that’s pretty broad. A stalker wouldn’t find me based on that.

I’m sure those of you with unique backgrounds are proud of your accomplishments, your uniqueness, your interesting anecdotes, bragging rights, etc., but I shake my head sometimes at the things people share here.

Some of the things people say are about things that could be narrowed down to as few as a few dozen people in the world. Cut that out!

 

[Seadog777]

I think you mentioned him before. So something about your story reminded him of high school with you? You also said it was a small town, and thus your school was quite small. Still seems like a strange incident.

Yeah, it was a small town.
He was an asshole then, and apparently he still is.
I'm glad that everything was caught on multiple cell phone videos.
Made the process go a hellava lot smoother.

 

[djrip]

Yeah, it was a small town.
He was an asshole then, and apparently he still is.
I'm glad that everything was caught on multiple cell phone videos.
Made the process go a hellava lot smoother.

Do you know why he was mad?

 

[Seadog777]

Do you know why he was mad?

Nope.
Apparently, he's just simply an asshole.
He wouldn't look at me in the courthouse.
His wife did come up to me and apologize though.
So at least someone has manners.

 

[djrip]

Nope.
Apparently, he's just simply an asshole.
He wouldn't look at me in the courthouse.
His wife did come up to me and apologize though.
So at least someone has manners.

”Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.”
--Freud, probably

 

[gunhilltrain]

I suggest for everyone here, limit self references to things with populations of 100,000 or more for any identifying thing you mention here or anywhere else. So if I say I work in IT and play golf occasionally and daydream about threesomes with two hot soccer moms, that’s pretty broad. A stalker wouldn’t find me based on that.

I’m sure those of you with unique backgrounds are proud of your accomplishments, your uniqueness, your interesting anecdotes, bragging rights, etc., but I shake my head sometimes at the things people share here.

Some of the things people say are about things that could be narrowed down to as few as a few dozen people in the world. Cut that out!

Okay, if you say so. The Bronx has 1.5 million people so that shouldn't be a problem. I can't imagine how a story could be narrowed to a few dozen people in the whole world, but I suppose you've seen it. In my view, there has to be a balance between caution and living in fear/paranoia. I think it would be up to Laurel and the site to police that, but that seems beyond their capabilities. It's thus the writer's call.

I've seen celebrities - who are far more likely to be stalked than anybody on here - do some very sloppy things, like show and describe the houses or apartments where they live. And I mentioned that some YouTube creators are are equally careless.

But you know, I could walk out on the street here and some random person could mug me or play the "knock-out" game. There are shootings, murders that happen near here frequently. A woman was murdered in the park across the street and her body was dumped in the river. I've seen shoot-outs right in front of my building or down the street. I am far more concerned about that kind of thing as opposed to anything that could happen with Lit.

There is no cocoon of absolute safety.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Nope.
Apparently, he's just simply an asshole.
He wouldn't look at me in the courthouse.
His wife did come up to me and apologize though.
So at least someone has manners.

Somehow I've stumbled onto the trial of Nikolas Cruz, the 2018 Parkland school shooter, online. Chilling to see how calm he is, and compare that to what he did. There were many signs going back for years hinting that something was wrong with him. He had plenty of shrinks, special ed teachers, and so forth, but none of that helped.

One can knock New York, but I've never heard of a mass school shooting here. People will kill each other over money or drugs, but at least they have some reason. It seems to be more common in these suburban places between the cities and the rural areas. That seems to have started with Columbine, in Littleton, CO. Everybody was shocked that it could happen there.

 

[gunhilltrain]

”Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.”
--Freud, probably

Sounds like Carl Jung. The Shadow Self, as he described it.