Spouse to a disabled or long-term sick partner?

[KentBloke]

I am a 64yo English bloke who spends time outside of work caring for a chronically sick wife. Like a lot of people in my situation, there is no physical side to the marriage and has not been since 2015!
Is there anyone else out there in the same situation who would like to chat about anything as, like most other people in this situation, I am isolated and lonely.
I am happy to chat to m or f but, obviously, a woman in the same situation wanting some affection or an outlet for her "needs" would suit me better.
Anywhere on this funny little planet we call home is OK but a UK woman would negate the frustration of timezones!
I am not looking to change my marital status, just have someone to talk to who understands!

 

[Leglover1234]

I’m in the opposite side of you. I’m the sick one and I’ve been neglected affection and intimacy for some time

 

[KentBloke]

I’m in the opposite side of you. I’m the sick one and I’ve been neglected affection and intimacy for some time

I am sorry to read that! Would telling your spouse what you feel help?

 

[Leglover1234]

Hasn’t helped

 

[AussieGeek]

I'm in a very similar situation... and yet, also rather unique. I have a spouse who has been chronically ill for several years, but we also have a shared girlfriend who lives with us. Unfortunately, our shared girlfriend doesn't want sex very often, so I get sexual intimacy maybe once or twice every two or three months. Basically, it's "a long time between drinks".

 

[KentBloke]

I'm in a very similar situation... and yet, also rather unique. I have a spouse who has been chronically ill for several years, but we also have a shared girlfriend who lives with us. Unfortunately, our shared girlfriend doesn't want sex very often, so I get sexual intimacy maybe once or twice every two or three months. Basically, it's "a long time between drinks".

Sorry to read that! Mine is OK if I "play" on the Internet but would go thermonuclear if I found another woman in real life LOL

 

[KentBloke]

Hasn’t helped

I am sorry to read that! Honestly, I despair of the restrictions put upon us by her conditions and, more inportantly, by the morality imposed by Society!!!

 

[Leglover1234]

Yea she refuses to touch me and if I try to bring in an escort she would flip. I’m still trying to figure out if she is cheating on me. She goes out constantly like she thinks she isn’t married or a mother

 

[JessGabriel]

Hiya Kent! I just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone. There are several of us on here regularly in a similar situation. I'm lucky enough that my husband lets me play on here to make up for everything else. Big hugs from a stranger. It's a tough situation for sure, and the isolation is real. I felt it big time before I came back to lit.

 

[Leglover1234]

I agree. Lit is where I get my female companionship

 

[JessGabriel]

Yea she refuses to touch me and if I try to bring in an escort she would flip. I’m still trying to figure out if she is cheating on me. She goes out constantly like she thinks she isn’t married or a mother

As a caregiver, this makes me cringe. I'm so sorry she's taken things so far. You're still a human being that needs love and affection.

 

[JessGabriel]

I'm tagging my hubby, @GessoOfJess here. He's the one I'm taking care of. I think he may be able to contribute to the conversation.

 

[Leglover1234]

Thanks. She has told me and our therapist she has no interest in being affectionate or intimate with me. I haven’t had an orgasm in 3 years

 

[GessoOfJess]

Thanks. She has told me and our therapist she has no interest in being affectionate or intimate with me. I haven’t had an orgasm in 3 years

That's awful. Even at my worst mentally, I could at least ASK for some intimacy, even if it wasn't sexual.

 

[Leglover1234]

Yes. She started sleeping in our old room while I sleep downstairs. I haven’t felt a warm body lay against mine in ages

 

[GessoOfJess]

Is it all because of the disability or were there other things too?

 

[ForgottenWife59]

I feel your pain. No intimacy in over 12 years. Anytime you want to chat, give me a holler.

 

[Mtnmike]

I feel your pain. No intimacy in over 12 years. Anytime you want to chat, give me a holler.

Same, been 14 year's for us. Coming up on 15.

 

[ForgottenWife59]

Same, been 14 year's for us.

I felt I had set some type of record but, you truly have me beat! I'm sorry for that.

 

[KentBloke]

Hiya Kent! I just wanted to reach out and let you know you aren't alone. There are several of us on here regularly in a similar situation. I'm lucky enough that my husband lets me play on here to make up for everything else. Big hugs from a stranger. It's a tough situation for sure, and the isolation is real. I felt it big time before I came back to lit.

Hi Jess,
Thanks for the virtual hugs... much appreciated.
In our case, she spends a lot of time asleep or in pain. We have enough morphine in the house to make a good amount of money on the back market! The only problem is that she is randomly awake and, on the one occasion last year that I got "happy" with a Pornhub video, she went thermonuclear and banished me to the spare room for a fortnight!
I feel sorry for the folks that have had it worse than me for longer than me and, honestly, I despair that there will ever be a way to, as one other respondent says, "hae a warm body laying next to me" unless I pay for it!
Having said that, I would, without thinking twice, take a bullet for her....

 

[ericalauren]

Your profile says that you're a swinger. Are you in any swinger groups? Even online ones? They may help your loneliness and/or find you a partner.

 

[GregBuch]

I also care for a IS. Yes it has been over 15 years. It is due to her disabilities. would I cheat No but do I wish I could Yes.
As KentBloke said if she knew I got my kicks on pornhub she would blow. I would be nice to talk to someone that has a pulse.
I truly feel all of your pain.

 

[KentBloke]

It does make a difference having had these responses!
Thank you all... and, as they say, "keep the faith"!

 

[KentBloke]

Your profile says that you're a swinger. Are you in any swinger groups? Even online ones? They may help your loneliness and/or find you a partner.

The online groups I approached would not let me join as a single male and I had to sign up my wife too. As far as IRL groups go, there is no time to go out, except to earn money to house us, feed us and pay the rest of the bills!
It was a great thought and thank you for replying.

 

[GregBuch]

Yes it does make a difference. I am sure we all wish things could be different.