Spousal support.

[NotWise]

Spousal support for your writing, I mean.

I know that some of you have significant others who read and comment on your writing. I don't. That's not even imaginable. The idea of writing erotica was (at least) challenging for her. Now even suggesting that I write anything seems to be a problem. I need to write.

Do you have spousal support for your writing (erotic or non-erotic)? If not, how do you handle it?

 

[ElectricBlue]

Do you have spousal support for your writing (erotic or non-erotic)? If not, how do you handle it?

I write on a kindle, never on the home PC (daughter still at home, too). My two worlds never collide, never align. It's not been a problem for me - it's like separating work life from home life, for me it's just another life (I seem to manage several, simultaneously, it seems).

 

[_Lynn_]

Spousal support for your writing, I mean.

I know that some of you have significant others who read and comment on your writing. I don't. That's not even imaginable. The idea of writing erotica was (at least) challenging for her. Now even suggesting that I write anything seems to be a problem. I need to write.

Do you have spousal support for your writing (erotic or non-erotic)? If not, how do you handle it?

My SO fully supports my writing. My family, on the other hand, doesn't even read anything I write. And my sisters call my writing a cute hobby (they admit they haven't read anything either).

I can't imagine not having the freedom to write whenever I wanted to. I'm sorry you don't have support from your spouse, NW.

 

[sr71plt]

My wife thinks I'm only writing mainstream, and I'm writing enough mainstream that she thinks that's where all the royalty money is coming from. Now mind you, this is a woman who was active and actively bi when I met her and pulled me along into it, but I'm sure she thinks we've outgrown all of that.

 

[StrangeTamer]

I'm sorry your spouse doesn't support your writing. To answer your question, yes my wife supports my writing. Even though so far my stories have not been her thing she still reads them and tries to find errors that I've missed; I've gotten the raised eyebrow look a few times as she's reading them (what the fuck are you writing) but she's ok with it.

 

[SamScribble]

The nearest I have to a 'spouse' knows that I occasionally write smut, and she approves, though she's not a big reader of my stuff. But I have several other 'serious fans'. And now that I come to think of it, three of them are former girlfriends. Oh, well ....

 

[yukonnights]

Yes, my spouse has read and helped edit every story I've written. Since I don't write anything too "unusual", we both enjoy it. I'm grateful for the second pair of eyes because it is really hard for me to self edit with much success....plus, there's usually some dumb stuff that sounded good to me that hits the "editing floor"

PS: After reading this, I suppose "unusual" is a pretty vague and individual standard...but I guess neither of us thinks kinky LBGTQ stories are "unusual"

 

[Larkfield61]

My wife would be apoplectic if she knew l was aven looking at this site, we occupy the same house and have a great relationship with our children and grandchildren but nothing more so in many respects we go our own way, certainly sexually.

I have a lady friend who knows that l write and she has recently started reading my work and others, l do find it easier when l'm able to discuss ideas.

 

[Bramblethorn]

My partner is my first reader and main cheerleader.

 

[lovecraft68]

My wife is fully responsible for unleashing me upon lit (if you PM me I'll give you her e-mail so you can yell at her)

I started writing down role plays for us a few years ago because we always enjoyed doing it. One day on a whim I turned a plot into an actual written scene, read it to her, she liked it. I wrote more, kept writing, but only for her

Then she found lit in 2009 and by 2010 coaxed me into putting my stuff here with a line I will always remember.

"What are you afraid of? You can't be any worse than some of the things I found there."

Seven years later I still read her everything I write except mom son. She's not a fan of that, but everything else, including all other taboo she enjoys. She picks me up when I'm down, helps me talk through issues in my more serious horror efforts and backs me 100%

I find it sad that so many people here, even regular posters who come and enjoy the kink threads here, can't share their writing or fantasies with their SO. I'm of the belief your true soul mate is 100% compatible in every way, but that's a fantasy not a reality.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I attract almost no praise or recognition for anything. I mind my business and catch relentless hell from everyone.

 

[ChloeTzang]

My wife is fully responsible for unleashing me upon lit (if you PM me I'll give you her e-mail so you can yell at her)

I started writing down role plays for us a few years ago because we always enjoyed doing it. One day on a whim I turned a plot into an actual written scene, read it to her, she liked it. I wrote more, kept writing, but only for her

Then she found lit in 2009 and by 2010 coaxed me into putting my stuff here with a line I will always remember........

Now THAT is very much my experience. I've always been good at making up these little role playing fantasies for my boyfriends and then for my partner. My partner loved them and a couple of years ago (which was just over a year after i moved in with him) he said I was wasting my story-telling on just him and that they were so good I should really write them down and share them. It took him a bit of convincing but I did and he pointed me at Literotica and encouraged me all the way.

I signed up here in 2015 and tried posting my first story with my partner's vocal encouragement (he too said something along the lines of"it's way better than 90% of the stuff I read there" .... ). So my partner loves my stories, encourages me to write whenever I want, acts as a sounding board for my stories and for my male characters (as in "Jesus, Chloe, no guy would EVER say any shit like that" or "now THAT is so fucking hot") and is really enthusiastic to role play out all the sex scenes to "check for realism". LOL. REALLY enthusiastic

He's no good at editing, alas, and he's no good at story ideas but he encourages me all the way. And he's totally responsible for me being on Literotica but you can't email him to say thanks or "you asshole". On the other hand, nobody else I know has any idea I write these stories and certainly not my family. Aside from my partner, I keep my writing on Lit totally divorced from my family and social life. For my writing workshops, I write very non-Lit stuff or I take scenes from my Lit stories and edit out almost all the sex.

I have to say, if I didn't have my partner's support, I'm not sure that I could do it (writing here), and I'm so grateful that he's supported and encouraged me coz it's really got me started. I've always liked writing but it was something I'd never thought about taking up coz forget mainstream, even when I was a teenager, this was the sort of story I liked to write - kind of hot romance with the "hot" turned up to "explicit". Not exactly what your normal High School Lit classes encourage. So writing on Literotica really got me to cut loose and start and I've never been happier.

I can't stop writing. My partner loves my stories and kicks my ass to write more and my readers on Lit seem to mostly really enjoy my stories too. Now all I need to do is self-publish and start making some pocket money from it and I'll be totally happy about it. And the AH forum is just the cat's whiskers coz one knows one is not alone in this little hobby. So thank you to alll of you for just being here as well. You're all wonderful

 

[HornyKip]

My wife is confused.

I have been writing to couple of these sites for more than a year. My wife has only read one of my stories in that time. She got mad when she read it because she thought it was a true story. I told her several times that it was purely fiction... That its main character was based loosely on a real person,but since I barely know the person, it is still just a jump off point, and that the story was pure fiction. She still couldn't comprehend the fiction part.
I don't hide what I write. My children are grown and should be able to separate fact from fiction. They haven't read anything I have written either, but I talk about the stories with them occasionally. My wife, on the other hand, chooses to stay away from my stories... Since they are "Obviously True" in her opinion.

 

[hmmnmm]

She was always encouraging with my writing aspirations and is aware of some of the directions I like to think and write about - but many of these areas are not up her alley so to speak, so she generally doesn't read my stuff that explores those ideas (my little creampie fascination for example). She wouldn't read or purchase 'this kind of literature' no matter who wrote it, and if I can correctly quote the latest, 'I'm not into reading about pussy and cum'. She's okay with lending me a pair of her panties for the sake of research - but she wouldn't read what resulted from that research. And that's probably just as well.

NotWise, you are in a tough situation. I would find it extremely uncomfortable, to put it mildly - don't know how I'd handle it. Hope it gets better for you. It can be really challenging to help someone who isn't a writer to understand your last line - a writer's gotta write, and that's all there is to it.

 

[NotWise]

NotWise, you are in a tough situation. I would find it extremely uncomfortable, to put it mildly - don't know how I'd handle it. Hope it gets better for you. It can be really challenging to help someone who isn't a writer to understand your last line - a writer's gotta write, and that's all there is to it.

It's not that bad. She knows that I'm active on this forum and that only bothers here a little, but she can't complain because she has been deeply involved in fan forums that didn't interest me at all.

She doesn't interfere with my writing, but there's no chance of her reading it. When I try to talk about it I talk only about non-erotic features of the plot or characterization. Even then she clams up and puts her head down into whatever she's doing. In the incident that spurred my question we were eating when I described the non-erotic inspiration of my current story. She stared at her plate and didn't look up to do more than glance at me until I left the table.

I don't think she gets the whole writing thing, erotic or not.

 

[sunandshadow]

Not a spouse, but, my best friend quite annoys me with this. He reads a ton, he reads science fiction and fantasy and horror, but he himself has like a phobia of being creative, and dislikes any conversation or task that asks him to think creatively. Aside from that, he doesn't particularly like my writing (either due to the romance elements or feminine perspective), so he has no interest in reading it even if he doesn't have to edit or make suggestions.

 

[ChloeTzang]

.....I don't think she gets the whole writing thing, erotic or not.

Some people just don't. I suspect a lot more than many of us think. I had a housemate at college whose only reading was fashion magazines. I think the only books she'd ever read in her life were textbooks and then only what she needed to. Scary.

And I work with an older lady who, when we were taking over coffee during a break, and we got onto writing, just saw no point om fiction at all. She reads, but she's one of these people that thinks reading, let alone writing, fiction is a total waste of time. It's a mindset thing and you'll never change them.

I feel for you coz I can see that would make it so much harder. It makes me realize just how lucky I am to have a partner who actively encourages and supports me and who enjoys reading my stories.

 

[werdsmith]

no spousal support here.

 

[GoldenCojones]

Yes, my wife knows I write porn and she enjoys reading it with me. She is actually one of the main reasons my stories have so much sex in them. If she reads one of my stories and there is only a little sex, she gives me that sad, almost annoyed look, and then asks, "So, when are you going to fill in all the good parts?"

That cracks me up and I go back and put in a lot more sex.

 

[Haulover]

Each of my stories starts with an author's note that includes the following (my wife's name is Debbie):

Deb and I write our stories together. Her memory is better than mine, and I put the words 'on paper'. This narrative has elements of our real life experiences, occasionally spiced with fantasy. You might be able to guess which is which.

 

[curiouschattycouple]

My wife reads all the stories I write, as they are all about her, and usually based on our ideas - some hers, some mine, some shared. She gives me feedback, and sometimes we learn things about each other through it - "I didn't know you liked that" or "I like this" or "I wouldn't do that". My writing has expanded our sexual relationship, although I am always very nervous when she reads it, but its great when I get more ideas back from her as a result - "What if it went like this..."

I've only published one story here - more are in the works, but I'm not happy with them yet, and then she needs to be happy with them too.

 

[CeasarBoobage]

I have been writing to couple of these sites for more than a year. My wife has only read one of my stories in that time. She got mad when she read it because she thought it was a true story. I told her several times that it was purely fiction... That its main character was based loosely on a real person,but since I barely know the person, it is still just a jump off point, and that the story was pure fiction. She still couldn't comprehend the fiction part.
I don't hide what I write. My children are grown and should be able to separate fact from fiction. They haven't read anything I have written either, but I talk about the stories with them occasionally. My wife, on the other hand, chooses to stay away from my stories... Since they are "Obviously True" in her opinion.

This is close to my own story as well.
My wife used to read some of mine, but she thought every one was a well-detailed fantasy of mine, so as she read, she thought that I was trying to convince her to act out every single one of them, which pissed her off. It took her years to say that she finally believed me that it was all fiction, but it's been even more years since she's read my writing.

For the most part, I go it alone. I know someone that I can trust with keeping quiet, so sometimes i can get some help when stuck, or feedback on what I've done. But that's not often.

 

[legerdemer]

When my partner read my original stories here, he became enraged and violent. He assumed that I was here trolling for sex, although he found no evidence for that. I took down those stories and tried to stay off, but I really enjoyed the writing and whatever feedback I got, such as it was, and came back. I wasn't careful enough, and that led to worse incidents. Clearly, I'm still dumb as a post in that regard, but sneakier and more elusive.

Like others have said, he assumes that fictional characters reflect my fantasies to be with other men. That was helped initially by my seeding stories in realistic settings and on a couple of occasions with real people on whom I loosely based story characters. That's not the way he took it.

I write less and less here. I truly wish he had enjoyed those stories.

Interestingly (to me), he supports the idea of my writing non-erotic fiction. I can count the audience for those non-erotic stories on the fingers of one hand, with a couple of fingers left over, and they're just being polite.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

For the hell of it I asked the bride her opinion of what I do better than most people, and she replied HOW YOU EXORESS YOURSELF, AND YOUR GREEN THUMB.

I come from writers and orators. One ancestor wrote a long essay about INSANE PHILANTROPISTS so obsessed with equality and mediocrity THEY'LL PUT AN END TO CRIME AS THERE WONT BE ANYTHING WORTH STEALING. He wrote the essay in 1859. I own 100s of pages of their writings and speech. Plenty of stuff from my girl kin.

But the closest I ever came to 'support' was when my daughter said, YOU SAY WHAT ALL OF US THINK, BUT HAVE THE GOOD SENSE NOT TO SAY. I say MY TONGUE IS RAW FROM SILENCE. Most here are what I call TEXICAN TOILET DWELLING BROWN SNAKES.

 

[moncrief_the_advocate]

First, I'd like to say how sorry I am for those of you who don't have spousal support. I have some inkling of how that feels, although I am divorced now.

I have one friend who knows that I write erotic fiction. She is supportive, and helps me with illustrations and covers.

My family knows I write, and are supportive, but I've only shown them non-erotic pieces of mine. I like to have a secret. I live in a very conservative community and have a small child. I don't want him to catch "relentless hell" as Noirtrash would say.

I would like to share this with my significant other, but like I said, I like having a secret. I think it makes me more attractive and I am just reticent by nature.

But I know I really need someone in person to bounce these ideas off of. My supportive friend lives kind of far and is very busy with her family/job. Not sure how I am going to broach the subject at this point. A significant portion of the population around here will treat you like a pariah for doing this kind of thing.