Spelling faux pas

[Just_John1]

Ever make one of those really bad spelling faux pas? I was inspired by Earl's mistake he outlined in another thread.

Here's a list of a few

I lobe you...
That fells really good...
oh storke me sweats
You're so swet
She has great tots
I want to sick your nipples...

The ones that slip by in Spell check are the worst. A small list among others that I'm sure y'all can cime up with... Sorry Earl, not really at your expense but definitely inspired by you.

JJ1

 

[Just_John1]

That was not intentional

I couldn't even bring myself to edit it.

 

[MathGirl]

Effing Up

Dear JJ1,

Spelling errors are fun, but let's not ignore the superfluous apostrophe. Those separate the merely careless from the truly semiliterate.

There was a drop of dew on it's petal.
She had magnificent tit's.
I love you're smell.

A couple of signs around my town are worthy of note:

USED CAR'S
HAIRCUT'S

Sincerely you'res
Diane

 

[TheEarl]

JJ: Don't worry about taking the piss. That's why I exposed my idiocy to the Lit world in the first place; at least I caught it before posting.

Sign at a local caravan park: New and used caravans, allways in stock.

Some of my own howlers.

He gently nibbled the skin around her peal (meant to be pearl. Had about 50 people ask me whether it was some strange English slang that they didn't know)

Go, she was expert.

Dawn followed her, the wooden flaw cold against her feet.

He storked her inner thigh gently.

And let's not forget the errors that occur when your mind's not on what you're writing:

She took off his skirt and ran her hand up to his panties.

I think the all time winner has to be this one which I spotted in an edit of my first non-sexual story. Someone with that much cleavage couldn't have any intelligence somehow turned into Someone with that much cleavage couldn't have any intercourse.

Taxi!

The Earl



Edited, cause I'm incapable of operating html first time. Taxi for The Earl.

 

[TheEarl]

He thrust his cook in hard. (went from a twosome to a threesome really fast)

This one had me rofl. Made I larf.

The Earl

 

[pop_54]

Lo all

Love the new sig. quote Earl I still haven't stopped chuckling from last years re-run of Hitch Hikers, the radio version was the best, allowed better visualisation, specially when you know what's coming next. See you in Milliways later for a pint.

Spelling and grammar, punctuation as well, guilty as charged M'lud
My big prob. fingers too big for PC keyboards, double strikes.
FDo UIt SAll the time.

Word spell check, lovely tool, it'll tell you a perfectly sensible sentence is a fragment and out of context, but it won't tell you you wrote 'him' instead of 'his'.

pops.........

 

[Just_John1]

Ok one of life's most embarrasing moments..

Had a great talk going... looking for another one some day

"I really enjoyed our shat... hope to again soon"... sighhhhh

 

[The_old_man]

I too had a big problem with names. Finaly figured a way to fix the problem, assign each name a numeric code ( M1,F2,etc.) then, when finished, use the "Find & Replace funtion to enter the names. This also prevents changing spelling of the name.

Homonims are still a big problem. Speel chuckers won't find them at all.

 

[SlickTony]

I think the superfluous apostrophes that Mathgirl complains of piss me off more than anything else in the world, at least when it comes to spelling errata.

If I'm driving through some jerkwater town and see a filling station with a hand-lettered sign that says "We fix flat's," that doesn't bother me so much. After all, good grammar is not what I'm paying the guy in the garage for.

What really, really, really raises my blood pressure is when I see this kind of thing on a billboard or in a slickly produced brochure or ad. Who knows how many levels it passed through, how many people (all, I imagine, being paid more than I am getting) signed off on it, and nevertheless, it went through all that and right to the printer and still didn't get caught.

I was especially sensitive to this when I, as an unemployed English major, was handing my resume out all over the place, being told "We'll call you," when nobody ever did. I'm working now, although my program is not having its contract being renewed, and I need to find something else to do for employment by the end of June, but I haven't forgotten.

I'll be very humiliated if anything of mine ever gets as far as being published with that kind of thing in it. Moreover, considering that I tweak the thing for at least a week before submitting it, I'll be damned surprised.

 

[pop_54]

Yep

I hear what you're saying Tony, it happens in all trades mate, but doesn't it just piss you off.

As for checking and editing for a week, very diligent, if I did that I'd lose confidence and hit the Del. key, I write as quick as poss. and post it straight away after a quick spell/grammar check.
Let the critics do the final work, hehe.

pops.........

 

[MathGirl]

Names

Finaly figured a way to fix the problem, assign each name a numeric code ( M1,F2,etc.) then, when finished, use the "Find & Replace funtion to enter the names. [/B]

That would certainly be handy if you had a character named Svetlanakonanova Allexandrovanova Rostropovich-O'Shaughnessy.

 

[PaulX35]

Re: homophones

...She reached up to message her breast...

The Brits have an old comedy-soap called 'Allo 'Allo, that plays in 2nd WW occupied France. We have Frenchies there, Germans and British airmen, all of whom speak English but with different accents, and of course they don't understand a word of what the others are saying.
One of the characters featuring is Officer Crabtree, who is a British pilot in disguise as the local gendarme. He speaks a sort of hussled up English (that is supposed to be French), that features the following line often:

"I have a massage for Michelle..." (the leader of the Resistance, not to be mixed up with the Communist Resistance)

When once questioned by the Gestapo, Officer Crabtree was thought to have a suspicious accent. He replied to be "half Itoolian", being born in "Nipples". To further substantiate his argument he added:

"See Nipples and doo, as they say."


Paul

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I worry that computers are putting a serious cramp in our sex-life.
I imagine a whole country typing with one hand.
And not only is it obscene, it's hard to read!
I mean, "fick me, fick me"? "Show me your tots"?

Bette Midler