Son Adores Mom

[hardleo]

Let me know how you feel about this story I'm working on and how this story could be improved. Anything would help, what was good and what could be added.
Thanks in advance!

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[KayceeCharles]

Tell us how the character feels and thinks, else this is just mechanical action. Just a hard-on is a physical condition.

How much shame does he feel? How conflicted is he? Does he show anything in school? Does he watch porn? (Probably MILFs)

Is he just emulating the men who used her mom, wham-bam-thank-you-madam and out the door?

She doesn't even bother showering and wait for her son to play with her too by pretending to be unconscious, Hmmm? What was she waiting for? (You don't have to tell the narrator, him, but you need to know, to make sure each character's motivations make sense)

Tell us what's in his head. You started to, then you went all mechanical on us.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Your post will probably get edited by the Moderator.

It is not the intent of the Story Feedback forum to publish extracts of a story to solicit feedback, as you have done here. You should first submit a story to the site editor (Laurel) for her review prior to posting, and then seek comments.

In this instance you have references to a young teenage boy, which is contrary to the site's strict 18 year age threshold, and that will be enough for it to be rejected. I suggest you edit your post to remove all underage references - if you don't, the Mod most likely will.