Somewhere between incapable and wank fodder threads

[RJMasters]

Nice to see you again...you have been missed by more than a few.

Catalina

Waves back at Cat. Good to see you too.

 

[nerdygrrl]

I have to admit that I know exactly what you mean by these types of posts, and when I read them I always get the feeling that the poster is either quite young our seeking attention or validation. But I absolutely cringe when I read things like the comment below:

You are right that it doesn't compute...I think it's more attention seeking, wanker fodder than anything else. Most of the people that post these things are "newbies" and have probably never experienced a serious, real, dedicated Dominant and wouldn't know one if they did. And like you said a no Dom worth his or her "salt" would allow it much less encourage it.
Like Stella mentioned, the popularity of BDSM has made it a mine field for rank amatuers that are clueless and they will never find the ultimate, forbidden, erotic pleasures that come from a healthy, active and productive BDSM relationship.

Or comments like this one:

It also occurs to me that these are people who are used to chatrooms.

It rankles because I am an absolute newbie who has definitely never experienced a serious dedicated dom, and I'm certain that if I ran into one I wouldn't know the difference from the showy inept variety. It's one of the many pitfalls that newbies have to navigate, weeding through the poseurs and the wanna-bes. And while it must be nice to look down your nose at online relationships or chat rooms, there really aren't a lot of options for people like me, who are just getting their feet wet and don't know anyone in the lifestyle. I mean I'm certainly not going to stroll into a BDSM club on my own and just jump right in and start experimenting. I suppose I could post a personal ad - but eww, I wouldn't want to do that even in my vanilla life. And you still run the risk of having no idea what you're going to get.

So I go to chat rooms - which, admittedly can be full of cringe-worthy conversation, but you do start to develop a feel for the people there. It's a long shot that I'll ever find someone that I even want to meet for coffee, but it's still the only chance I have, if I'm serious about learning more and exploring whether this is right for me. But I tell you, it is hard, and quite possibly an exercise in futility.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have to admit that I know exactly what you mean by these types of posts, and when I read them I always get the feeling that the poster is either quite young our seeking attention or validation. But I absolutely cringe when I read things like the comment below:



Or comments like this one:



It rankles because I am an absolute newbie who has definitely never experienced a serious dedicated dom, and I'm certain that if I ran into one I wouldn't know the difference from the showy inept variety. It's one of the many pitfalls that newbies have to navigate, weeding through the poseurs and the wanna-bes. And while it must be nice to look down your nose at online relationships or chat rooms, there really aren't a lot of options for people like me, who are just getting their feet wet and don't know anyone in the lifestyle. I mean I'm certainly not going to stroll into a BDSM club on my own and just jump right in and start experimenting. I suppose I could post a personal ad - but eww, I wouldn't want to do that even in my vanilla life. And you still run the risk of having no idea what you're going to get.

Actually, I would suggest that you stroll into the local BDSM club, or find out about the munches in your area, and start going to them. Like the online community, you will begin to get an idea of the people around you, and you'll be surprised at how unremarkable and undramatic most of them will turn out to be.

So I go to chat rooms - which, admittedly can be full of cringe-worthy conversation, but you do start to develop a feel for the people there. It's a long shot that I'll ever find someone that I even want to meet for coffee, but it's still the only chance I have, if I'm serious about learning more and exploring whether this is right for me. But I tell you, it is hard, and quite possibly an exercise in futility.

Do you know about fetlife.com? it's kind of like facebook for perving purposes. Best way of finding out what scene there is locally, who's good who has a bad rep... while staying pseudonymous.

 

[Netzach]

Seriously - WTF?

Punishment help?

Decide my punishment?

Need humilation ideas?

Seriously WTF!

in·ca·pa·ble ( n-k p -b l). adj. 1. a. Lacking the necessary ability, capacity, or power.

I got one question for the Dominants or Masters who send their submissive/slave to a forum board to ask such things of strangers... Who are you trying to humiliate? Them or you?

While i'm at it, why don't I come over and beat and fuck your submissive while I am at it since your so damn lazy or uncaring to take matters into your own hands.

For me, I would never give up this kind of intimate control. If my partner did something to warrant punishment, it would mean that I am hurt and/or angry and you best believe that I am gonna get my pound of flesh, till my anger is sated and I am satisfied. I'm not gonna ask her to go ask Joe and Martha down the street to see what they think I should do about the matter.

I know I haven't been around much, but holy crap.

Listen, I get that there is a place for humilation and perhaps even from time to time forcing one to come up with their own punishment(when not overly used).

Speaking for myself and I am sure I am not alone in this view, when I see these types of threads, At best I suspect the poster is a wanker looking for fodder, at worst I shake my head and say how damn sad is it that their relationship has come to this?

Seriously - WTF?

Some exhibitionists are very ineffectual. That's pretty much it, in a nutshell.

 

[RJMasters]

Some exhibitionists are very ineffectual. That's pretty much it, in a nutshell.

 

[nerdygrrl]

Actually, I would suggest that you stroll into the local BDSM club, or find out about the munches in your area, and start going to them. Like the online community, you will begin to get an idea of the people around you, and you'll be surprised at how unremarkable and undramatic most of them will turn out to be.

Yeah, I'm considering it. I've signed up to some mailing lists for local groups. It's just a matter of getting my nerve up and going I suppose, but I'm shy even under the best of circumstances so it's going to be rough.

Do you know about fetlife.com? it's kind of like facebook for perving purposes. Best way of finding out what scene there is locally, who's good who has a bad rep... while staying pseudonymous

I'll definitely check it out. Thanks for the tip!

 

[FurryFury]

Yeah, I'm considering it. I've signed up to some mailing lists for local groups. It's just a matter of getting my nerve up and going I suppose, but I'm shy even under the best of circumstances so it's going to be rough.



I'll definitely check it out. Thanks for the tip!

I'm shy too. I've found munches are at a public place, in normal dress. No one tries to talk about kink even much less make you do anything you don't want to.

However, you might get invited to a demo or a play party. I did. Again I was never pressured to do anything. I have very strong limits anyway but it's good to get with your fellow kinksters in person and learn things.

FF