Sometimes being a 'good' person leaves you feeling like shit...

[Mia62]

I know...divorce sucks...yes, it was my choice to leave him...but I never thought that I would miss my kids so much.

I still do things for him through the kids...for example, I bought the card and candy that they gave to him for Valentine's Day. The only one of my children that I got to see yesterday was my son and that was because it was hsi night to stay with me.

It was supposed to be my day with them today...and to have my youngest tonight...he flips on me when I arrange things for them to do on his time so I have stopped doing it...just to keep the peace. Today, as I said, was supposed to be my time and I have been looking forward to it. Well...this morning after standing outside in the rain for 2 hours to cheer on my son's soccer team, the kids told me that Daddy had arranged for them to go have lunch with him and he would drop my youngest off at about 2:30. Well...there went the whole day.

She gets here and things are fine...we are cuddling on the couch watching her choice of shows...then we played a game of Sorry. We then had to go to the store to buy a present for a birthday party tomorrow. While we were in the store I happened to call my ex to discuss the timing of kids for tomorrow and found out that he was having "our" best friends over for dinner with their kids. Guess who wants to go...

Yep...so me, being the nice person, says "sure, I will drop her off...no problem, I know she likes to see them". I head over there...kiss her goodbye...kiss my son...kiss my oldest...pet my dogs that I miss...and then I head home...to my apartment...

Alone.

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Just remember that life does not perpetually suck. Things will change.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Hugs baby.

 

[Spider_Guy]

Big ((((((((((HUG))))))))))) for you Mia. I know it's not much, just sounds like you could use one

 

[Mia62]

I can't wait to get out of this apartment so that I can feel okay having friends over again.

I know that things will change...but when your 8-year-old tells you of their plans that Daddy has made for them and then looks at you and says Are you OK with this, Mom?"...what else can you say but Yes...no matter how much your heart hurts.

 

[Mia62]

Hugs baby.

Thank you.

Thank you, Spider-Guy.

I am just sort of venting here so that I don't do it on the phone with any of them...

 

[Ezarc]

I haven't seen my kiddos since right after Christmas. I am too broke to visit and she won't drive them out.

 

[Mia62]

I haven't seen my kiddos since right after Christmas. I am too broke to visit and she won't drive them out.

Blech.

*Hugss*

 

[someplace]

I understand. I symphathize. I am there also. This was my weekend but his sister is in town from the UK, so little one is having another weekend there. Other than 15 minutes in the morning and a couple of exhausted hours in the evening during the week, we've had one weekend for the entire month of February. The last holiday we shared was Easter. I am a fool to think things will even out over time.

 

[Ezarc]

Blech.

*Hugss*

Thanks. I just wanted to point out that though you didn't get what you want, at least you are seeing your beloved children.
I know it hurts but it could be worse and it will get better.


I hope you don't think I am trying to belittle your problems, I just wanted to point out that you are at least living close and seeing them.

 

[HeavyStick]

Best of luck to you Mia


If you want I can visit someone and play a game of Roshambo.

 

[bknight2602]

I know what you mean, I feel that way a lot. Hope you feel better about it tomorrow.

 

[Mia62]

I hope you don't think I am trying to belittle your problems, I just wanted to point out that you are at least living close and seeing them.

No...I understand. I wish that things could be different for you.

I have used this GB to vent so many times...good and bad...right now I am feeling sorry for myself and I have nowhere else to vent.

Thanks for putting up with me...


HeavyStick?? Roshambo???

someplace...All I can offer you are hugs...I wish I could deliver them in person.

 

[HeavyStick]

HeavyStick?? Roshambo???

It's an American "game" two guys stand in front of one another. They take turns kicking each other in the balls til one falls down and starts crying like Nancy Kerrigan.

I usually go first.

 

[ksmybuttons]

I believe there are limits. I am a stepmom. I'll tell you, his ex pushed us every which way. She would plan things on my husband's time and he just finally had to say, fine, the son won't be there. There can always be something better to do. You shouldn't have to compete and he shouldn't make you feel like you have to. It isn't being nice, it is being a doormat.

I don't care if the divorce was your choice or not, ex needs to respect your time with your children. He can make plans with the kids on his time.

Take care of you and your kids and cherish and demand all the time you can get!

 

[Ezarc]

No...I understand. I wish that things could be different for you.

I have used this GB to vent so many times...good and bad...right now I am feeling sorry for myself and I have nowhere else to vent.

snip.

It is tough not seeing your children as much as you would like or when you would. *hugs* It will get better.

 

[Mia62]

It's an American "game" two guys stand in front of one another. They take turns kicking each other in the balls til one falls down and starts crying like Nancy Kerrigan.

I usually go first.

LMAO...ok that made me laugh.

*chuckling* Thanks but violence isn't necessary...he didn't actually do anything wrong...it was my choice to let her go. I would hate for her to be mad at me tomorrow cause she missed out on being with her friends.

 

[HeavyStick]

LMAO...ok that made me laugh.

*chuckling* Thanks but violence isn't necessary...he didn't actually do anything wrong...it was my choice to let her go. I would hate for her to be mad at me tomorrow cause she missed out on being with her friends.

well the offer is out there

 

[Mia62]

It isn't being nice, it is being a doormat.

I don't care if the divorce was your choice or not, ex needs to respect your time with your children. He can make plans with the kids on his time.

Take care of you and your kids and cherish and demand all the time you can get!

Problem is...he did make it on his time...with the other 3. It has happened every weekend I have had them except when I have BOTH the younger two. I don't feel right about leaving one out of the mix...I have a feeling that they will resent me in the end if I keep them away.

And you have no idea how right you are about the doormat...I am thinking of getting a "Welcome" sign tattooed on my forehead!

 

[HeavyStick]

I am thinking of getting a "Welcome" sign tattooed on my forehead!

It'll match the one on your ass.


;-)

 

[Mia62]

It'll match the one on your ass.


;-)

LMAO...twit. *muah*

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

In my personal experince it came down to this:

What kind of message did I want to send my children

and

What kind of role model do I want to be.


Without whineing or backing down simply say: Sweetie, this is my time to be with you and I miss you sooo much. That's the truth. Now, please be truthful with me, which would you rather do? Coz if you choose to go to lunch, I will understand, coz I'm your mom and I'll be here for you forever, but...you'll only be a little boy once, and I want to see that a bit before you grow out of it.

As for not having your friends over? Sheesh, what? Are they visiting and supporting you? Or visiting your house? Have them over!

 

[Mia62]

As for not having your friends over? Sheesh, what? Are they visiting and supporting you? Or visiting your house? Have them over!

No...I just live in a very tiny apt...in a not so hot apt bldg...the inside is clean and tidy and renovated...but there just isnt a whole lot of room.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Problem is...he did make it on his time...with the other 3. It has happened every weekend I have had them except when I have BOTH the younger two. I don't feel right about leaving one out of the mix...I have a feeling that they will resent me in the end if I keep them away.

And you have no idea how right you are about the doormat...I am thinking of getting a "Welcome" sign tattooed on my forehead!

I think he is being an asshole. You don't want your kids to resent you because you let their father manipulate you...

I'm not vehement about many things, but manipulating the time with children by an ex is one of the things that I just can't fanthom. Asshole...

 

[Ham Murabi]

Take heart, Mia, in knowing that sometimes taking a good shit makes you feel like a new person.