Something to lighten the mood

[Bushido71XS]

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?

Why is FOOTball played by hand?

 

[Ally C]

What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Answer: If you really want to know, I suggest looking in a thesaurus

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Answer: Boxes

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Answer 1: 10 - 5 = 5 [!?]
Answer 2: One in four accidents happen more than 5 miles from home.
Answer 3: Because the chances of having an accident while moving home have to be taken into account.
Answer 4: If you move home, well ... I'd be stating the obvious, wouldn't I?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Answer: You say "onomatopoeia", and I say "onomat-ah-poeia" ... can't argue on this one ...

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Answer: There has to be a really witty punchline to this one, even though tug boats do in fact 'tug' their barges, as well as pushing them.

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Answer: Perhaps it's a transcendental chant dealing with the way vocal crowd participation can figuratively elevate the participants to a higher plain of being? Either that or it's a subliminal way of inciting a pitch invasion.

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Answer: Buildings aren't necessarily made for building ...

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Answer: Because 'Monopolies' are plural ... (ok, I have to admit that was even poorer than the rest of my answers)

Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Answer: Yes, but they don't like to carp about it.

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Answer: I have no idea, if anyone else knows, put your hands up / down ...

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
Answer: 'Near' refers to the fact that the planes were close, and 'miss' signifies that they didn't make contact. It is a misleading term, a very 'near misleading' term, to be precise.

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Answer: I'd imagine he'd be too surprised to say anything, given the fact that planes hadn't been invented when he was around. [Question: Was he jumping to avoid a 'near miss'?]

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Answer: 'State' was originally a Polynesian word referring to the different territories on each island. [okay, so I made that one up!]

Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.
Answer: These questions were 'Something to lighten the mood'. I'm sorry if my attempt at humour is 'off' (as in 'off-putting), but thanks for turning the little light in my head 'on' Bushido ...

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Answer: I'd attempt yet another DUMB answer, but I'll turn a DEAF ear to this one.

How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
Answer: Endless loop? I'd say it would then read 'loo' instead of 'loop', but then I'd only be talking **** ...

Why is FOOTball played by hand?
Answer: Take me out to the ball game! Perhaps I'll think of an answer on the way, or once we get there.