Something in The Dihydrogen Monoxide

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The best internet prank ever?

Something in the dihydrogen monoxide

Health-obsessed California's latest environmental scare exposed dangerously high levels of gullibility, reports Dan Glaister - The Guardian.

Wednesday March 24, 2004

The city councillors of Aliso Viejo in Orange County, California, are well-meaning, socially responsible people. And when they came across the huge threat posed to their constituents by dihydrogen monoxide they did what any elected official should do: they took steps to protect their community. A motion due to go before the city legislature proposed banning the potentially deadly substance from within the city boundaries.

Researchers found that the presence of dihydrogen monoxide in Aliso Viejo had reached startling levels: it was present in its crude form, often spilling unmonitored on to the city streets; it was found to be a crucial ingredient in many common chemical compounds; its presence was even detected in that most ubiquitous of civilised artifacts, the styrofoam cup.

And it got worse: dihydrogen monoxide is lethal if inhaled, causes severe burns in its gaseous state, and is the major component in acid rain. Prolonged exposure to solid dihydrogen monoxide can cause severe tissue damage. It can, said the city council report, "threaten human safety and health".

Fortunately for the concerned legislators, the rat was smelt before it got as far as the debating chamber. The perils of dihydrogen monoxide have been ignored until now largely because it is better known by its common name: water.

"It's embarrassing," said city manager David Norman in an inspired act of buck-passing. "We had a paralegal who did bad research."

The relieved styrofoam industry saw it as a sign of environmental correctness run wild. "The plastic industry has always been a favourite target of environmentalists," Robert Krebs of the American Plastics Council told the Los Angeles Times. "But we dream about instances like this when our opponents do something foolish."

So far, so amusing. But should this bout of crankiness be filed under Crazy Californians and their crazed correctness? Or is it another one to pin on that old bogeyman, the internet?

Certainly, California is a cranky place, cult centre of the universe, a self-made psychic at every corner. And correctness of all shades - political, environmental, whatever - can be exasperating and not a little hypocritical: in Los Angeles there is a surfeit of liquor stores yet the only thing anyone seems to drink is sparkling dihydrogen monoxide, and smokers are scared-looking furtive creatures, scurrying about from pavement to pavement, avoiding the disapproving stares of god-fearing, clean-living folk. LA is also a city where total strangers have no qualms about telling you just how you should be living your life, in the friendliest, most unassuming way possible.

The dihydrogen monoxide hoax is the result of a collaboration between the two prime suspects: a zealously concerned paralegal faced with an authoritative-looking spoof scientific website, dhmo.org, home to the Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division. The Californian proactive social conscience - the social equivalent of current US foreign policy - combined with the influence of the internet was a recipe for confusion. The DHMO website professes to offer "an unbiased data clearing house and a forum for public discussion". "The success of this site depends on you the concerned citizen," says the introductory blurb.

It is, of course, absolute rubbish. But it is convincing rubbish, plausible because it feeds off and satisfies so many anxieties: about our environment, about science, about the unknown, about what we are doing to our bodies and ourselves. And in California, the environment, the unknown and, above all, the body - the, hairless, tummy-tucked body - are what count.

Guardian Unlimited

Ha! :rolleyes:

Lou
 
Isn't it obvious by now that California is just plain silly?

Of course, we've got plenty of silliness just like it in Texas, but it's nice to laugh at other states for a change.

~lucky ;)

Thanks Lou.
 
We have the same in the UK. The government is sponsoring panic about white asbestos, which is chemically indistinguishable from talc, because blue and brown can be harmful. Quotes of hundreds, or even, thousands of punds to remove white asbestos rooves from garages and ourhouses are common.
 
I saw on some silly televeision sow three guys at a beach in So.Cal. collecting signatured on a petittion to end women's sufferage. And women were signing it in droves:rolleyes:

-Colly
 
If you order a bottle of washed beach sand from a chemical supplier in the US (and washed beach sand is just what it says it is), it comes with a 4 page MSDS--Aaterial Data Safety Sheet--telling you all about its toxicity and dangers and describing the personal protective gear you need to wear to clean up a spill. (A respirator is required) The MSDS for sucrose--table sugar--is even longer and scarier.

There certainly are some very dangerous chemicals, and it's best to err on the side of caution. but environmental safety, like so much else in modern life, is now determined by trial lawyers and class action lawsuits, and any sort of reason or sanity has flown out the window. We no longer do what's sensible: we do what's legally defensible.

---dr.M.
 
Having lived in L.A. for a while in the 80's, I can say with certainty that nothing, NOTHING in the the bottled blond state surprises me anymore. PETA on the other hand has gone over the edge! Oh, lol, right, most of them are from L.A too :rolleyes:
 
And in Australia, some dude patented the wheel, So pay up or get off yer bikes, mates.

#L
 
Just for the record, most of us in California think the same way aboutthis kind of idiocy that the rest of the world does. however, the squeaky wheel, etc. Thus the world views us so. Of course, we have elected both Bonzo and the Governator.

P.S. Most of us outside LA seem to dislike it rather intently. Giants and Padre fans will always be able to get along somewhat well just by bringing up the Fuckin' Dodgers!
 
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In the UK we have equally silly laws.

I have a refrigerator in the kitchen which works fine, but it's old and not really big enough.

I buy a new, bigger one.

How do I dispose of the old one? When I unplugged it it stopped being a working refrigerator and became hazardous waste and must be disposed of by a licensed operator, of whom there are how many in the UK?

You guessed it - NONE
 
Do paralegals have to pass ninth grade?

To make the story Lou posted even more delicious, the report about Dihydrogen Monoxide was written by a then 14-year-old Nathan Zohner for a science fair project on the gullibility of fifty ninth graders.

Lou


Citation: Reviewing the textbook "Global Science"
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Oblig. geekspeak: as any serious chemistry student should know, "dihydrogen monoxide" is a somewhat of a misnomer, since it implies a bonding of an oxygen ion with a hydrogen molecule. A more fitting term would be "Hydrogen hydroxide."
 
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In line with Snoopers post, California has designated ALL electronic equipment as "Hazardous Waste" since it all contains lead.

One pundit voiced the "TRUTH" that the picture tube alone contained as much as ten pounds of lead.

The fact that normal procedures would result in recycling that glass was totally ignored.

Most of these absurd "regulations" are generated by lawyers who, as a class, have no technical education.
 
The_old_man said:
Most of these absurd "regulations" are generated by lawyers who, as a class, have no technical education.
... but have a vested interest in having overly complex laws.

I stayed for a while in a hotel near Canterbury (the one with the Archbishop) which was built in the fifteenth century. Naturally the bedrooms were supported above the bar by huge five-hundred year old oak beams. There was a row going on between the owners and three different authorities.

Fire authority: Those beams are a fire hazard. You can't keep them and still allow people to sleep above them.

Owner: Ok, we'll stop letting rooms.

Planning authority: This is an Inn in English law. You can't stop letting travellers stay here without permission and we won't grant it.

Owner: Ok, we'll replace the beams with steel joists.

Historic Buildings authority: They are five hundred years old, you can't even touch them, let alone replace them.

Owner: ?????????????????
 
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