someone's been watching too much Dr. Who

[butters]

US government announces tech that can 'manipulate space and time' to an audience in Texas

The Trump Administration quietly revealed it has futuristic technologies that literally bend time during a speech on 'the golden age of American innovation.' The director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, Michael Kratsios, declared that the US currently has the ability to ' manipulate time and space ' and 'leave distance annihilated.'

yeah, like, c'mon bro...

Most of his speech seemed dedicated to Biden-bashing, but he doubled down on his timey-wimey spacey-wacey statements.

Kratsios actually referenced this again at the end of his speech, saying that Americans will soon have the choice to 'craft new technologies and give themselves to scientific discoveries that will bend time and space.' Kratsios did not clarify his points, but they may have been a hyperbolic reference to recent breakthroughs in AI and quantum computing. Currently, there is no device publicly known that can literally 'manipulate time and space' or make distance irrelevant.

 

[Politruk]

Annihilation of distance would mean teleportation technology. That would kill the auto and petroleum industries, therefore will not be allowed to exist.

 

[Oyster69]

US government announces tech that can 'manipulate space and time' to an audience in Texas


yeah, like, c'mon bro...

Most of his speech seemed dedicated to Biden-bashing, but he doubled down on his timey-wimey spacey-wacey statements.

Hello butters:
I manipulate space and time on a regular basis.
It’s simple!
To manipulate space, I give folk binoculars to wear backwards when they walk into a tiny waiting room!
As for time, I slow the clocks down in said waiting rooms in order to reduce wait times!
Hey presto! Space and time, manipulated!
Give me a shout back for more TOP TIPS!

 

[dmallord]

Shit. Steal my thunder! I'm writing a story on time travelers for Lit., and somebody already beat me to it!
Guess I'll use the 'wayback machine' to fix that!

 

[Saint_Ann]

Ahh...cummon. Biden bashing never gets old.

 

[Chernosoth]

Or watch any speech of a long winded politician and feel years older in minutes.

 

[Fuzzy1975]

US government announces tech that can 'manipulate space and time' to an audience in Texas


yeah, like, c'mon bro...

Most of his speech seemed dedicated to Biden-bashing, but he doubled down on his timey-wimey spacey-wacey statements.

"spooky attraction at a distance"

 

[HisArpy]

The brainrot built into this thread is off the charts.

 

[Fuzzy1975]

The brainrot built into this thread is off the charts.

So you agree with Michael Kratsios?

 

[Politruk]

Let us assume Kratsios was speaking metaphorically until he says different.

 

[HisArpy]

So you agree with Michael Kratsios?

I have no thoughts on the matter other than what I've already said.

 

[Lazaran]

I have no thoughts.

Fyo;yw





Also:

We. Told. Them. So.

 

[MajorRewrite]

Trump “leaves distance annihilated” when he pretends to hit his drives 400 yards off the tee. He drives his cart out there, drops a ball, and shouts “found it!”

 

[HisArpy]

L

Trump “leaves distance annihilated” when he pretends to hit his drives 400 yards off the tee. He drives his cart out there, drops a ball, and shouts “found it!”

Lol. Somebody isn't up on the news.

For reference, that's Bryson DeChambeau, 2-time US Open Champion saying that Trump knows how to play and is good at his game.

 

[MajorRewrite]

L

Lol. Somebody isn't up on the news.

For reference, that's Bryson DeChambeau, 2-time US Open Champion saying that Trump knows how to play and is good at his game.

Trump is a fat slob who cheats at golf.

 

[ll74]

L

Lol. Somebody isn't up on the news.

For reference, that's Bryson DeChambeau, 2-time US Open Champion saying that Trump knows how to play and is good at his game.

The guy who gets his paycheck from Saudi Arabia.....who has a business deal with Trump?

Yah, sure he's not ass kissing for his job

(The guy who choked at the Masters?)

 

[Fuzzy1975]

I have no thoughts on the matter other than what I've already said.

I can agree with you on this. You don't think much.

 

[HisArpy]

Trump is a fat slob who cheats at golf.

Not what the facts tell us, but you do you and continue to defame him because you have rampant TDS.

 

[HisArpy]

I can agree with you on this. You don't think much.

I think a lot. Just not on that particular issue.

Just like you don't think about rational things and instead are totally fixated on the randumb.

 

[dmallord]

Ahh...cummon. Biden bashing never gets old.

Ahh... is that a snide elDerly joKe? ''Cause the old felon is just as good a target for age too!

 

[Politruk]

The reference to Dr. Who reminds me of the playwright Bertold Brecht, who had a theory of "illusion value." I forget why -- something to do with Marxism, maybe -- but he believed a play should make no effort to be realistic. To the contrary, the audience should never be allowed to forget it is a play.

Dr. Who was a whole series based on that theory -- not by conscious intention, just for lack of money. That was its charm - cheap sets, cheap costumes, cheap effects. The viewer's experience is not at all like watching actual events play out the way it would be with a Spielberg or Lucas film, but it's still enjoyable.

 

[Fuzzy1975]

I think a lot.

I'll await a post that you've thought a lot about, so I can decide if you're lying.

 

[HisArpy]

I'll await a post that you've thought a lot about, so I can decide if you're lying.

Which you will do in .063 nanoseconds after I post thereby proving that you don't think at all.

 

[Fuzzy1975]

I'll await a post that you've thought a lot about, so I can decide if you're lying.

Which you will do in .063 nanoseconds after I post thereby proving that you don't think at all.

Well this post isn't one.

 

[Politruk]

The reference to Dr. Who reminds me of the playwright Bertold Brecht, who had a theory of "illusion value." I forget why -- something to do with Marxism, maybe -- but he believed a play should make no effort to be realistic. To the contrary, the audience should never be allowed to forget it is a play.

Dr. Who was a whole series based on that theory -- not by conscious intention, just for lack of money. That was its charm - cheap sets, cheap costumes, cheap effects. The viewer's experience is not at all like watching actual events play out the way it would be with a Spielberg or Lucas film, but it's still enjoyable.

The 21st-Century revival of the series has lost that charm because it has more funding and higher production values.