Some ramblings...

[MaddyBaby]

Hey all..

I know I haven't been around for awhile, but I felt like writing on here. If some of you have commentary on this... please don't be too harsh, considering I'm really not in the mood.. LOL

During the past few months that I have been gone, I've gone through numerous things... most of which I won't ramble about now. Coming out, though, is one of them. Over all, it's been a positive experience, but there have been it's downfalls. Overall, I feel better... and will continue to, I am sure, but coming out isn't really the main thing.

The main thing is this relationship I have been attempting to have over the past 6 months. Sometimes I have her... other times I don't. It's taken a lot of time and energy out of myself to keep going and supporting her... but I tell you, I am wearing down. I care about this girl very deeply, and I know for a fact she cares about me too. I actually love her... She has wanted to stop things with me twice, but keeps contacting me. I understand she is confused and upset... but I can't seem to put a stop to it myself. I care about her too much and think she is worth trying to fight for.

Have any of you been in this situation before? If you have, please tell me your experience. I need all the help I can get.

Mads

 

[perks]

first of all, it's great to see you again.

Secondly, this girl isn't thinking about you, she's thinking about herself. So if she's thinking about herself and you're thinking about her, who's taking care of you.

You need to decide if she's worth the pain. People don't change. And she's using you for support when she's not giving anything.

I'm sorry, but my vote is to move on and comfort yourself for a bit. You're being run over and letting her.

 

[lobito]

I can't think of anything else to add to Perks' words. She'd appear to be right, you know.

 

[Guest]

Relationships are hard work. This is a fact of life. They are never easy or seamless if they are worth having.

Knowing you, knowing your sweet, tender heart, I understand your frustration. Only you can know your limits - only you can decide when you've tried too many days, cried too many tears and patched your heart too many times.

There is no easy answer - from me or anyone else. There is only helpful advice, open arms and shoulders for you to cry on.

Call me anytime -

 

[tswyk]

Sorry, hon - that was me

 

[MaddyBaby]

Thanks you guys. And both of you are right, of course. I have also thought of some things like... - Am I looking for this type of relationship subconciously? Or - Do I like being treated like shit because of how I've been raised?

These are two serious questions I have been battling over... I don't know. The reason I look at these two questions is because of past relationships. But like I said, I know she cares about me... she's just dealing with things (stupid things from another person) that I can't really help her with.

I am being there for her 24/7 a day, listening, supporting, and comforting as much as I can. I just hope that it works out for me in the end....

 

[Guest]

Maddy,
Baby, you are worth much more. Perk's wisdom said it all.
If ya need me, I'm here.

 

[MaddyBaby]

I know I am stupid if I say this... but I am going to say it anyway...

What if I let her go... and let go of something that would have been worth waiting for? I don't want this relationship to be a "should have been" sort of thing. I don't want to make the wrong move...

 

[Lasz]

Hey Maddy baby,
welcome back.

I got no advice on this subject. sorry.

 

[tswyk]

Maddy -

Why don't you give it some time - and distance? Set some ground rules, such as she has to get her shit together before you'll see her again.

Don't communicate with her for a week or two. Let her work it out. She's older and should have her stuff together better than you, yet you're the one trying to be mature. (and you just don't have that kind of experience yet!)

I'm not saying give up - I'm saying protect yourself and your heart. Back off a little. Stand firm.

And as always, be yourself. Be comfortable with your decisions. Realize that you will not always make the right choice the first time - it's a learning process - don't beat yourself up over it, ok?

Hugs, GF -

t

 

[MaddyBaby]

I understand, T... *sigh* Thank you.

 

[tswyk]

I understand, T... *sigh* Thank you.

You seem frustrated, but honey, this is not easy. Walking away could be easier than sticking around.

Battle it out - you don't have to decide anything tonight or tomorrow even - take your time - take time for yourself. Stop pressuring MADDY - she needs a break, ok?