Some Advice

[NighttimeFling]

Hello everybody. Let me just say that this my first thread I have ever started on this site and I hope I am posting it in the right.

Here we go! I want men and women to answer this.

My boyfriend(my first) and I are at a slight empass. He loves it when I give him blowjobs but he has become hesitant to "return the favor". He used to go down on me. I sorta understand his reasons why (nosy roommates), but when we talked about me stopping, he said that he didnt want me to stop. Actually, I dont mind doing for him, but I feel kinda slutty without anything in return.

What should I do in this situation? He is the only guy I ever been with so I have no past experience to go on for reference.

Should I stop and demand that action return?
Or should I continue on like I have been?

Any advice would be helpful. So please comment or PM me.


Sincerely,
NTF

 

[lidien]

nosey roomates sounds like an excuse if he still has you going down on him whenever in my opinion there would be more behind it I don't know if demanding is the first step but talking honestly about how it makes you feel might help

 

[LadyVer]

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

He's not selfish is he?

While I don't mind one way or another if a guy I'm w/ goes down on me, it's nice for me to be given the choice - he can offer and I can either lay back and enjoy, or tell him no thanks.

 

[agenttexx]

You shouldn't feel slutty about it, but I'm not one to tell you how you should feel. It sounds more like you feel cheated out of your own fair share.

It also sounds to me like he's more concerned about his own pleasure than yours.

If he's not comfortable pleasuring you, then you should insist he find a more suitable place where the two of you can enjoy yourselves. That is part of having a relationship with someone and one of the joys of making love to your partner - giving and receiving. If he's not mature enough to realize that, maybe its time to move on.

At the very least, talk to him about your concerns to find out what his hangup really is. If its you making noise, there is a whole other side of excitement that can be had trying to stifle the noise of your lovemaking.

Making love to your lover should not leave you feeling left out or cheated. I know it doesn't always work out that way, but if both people truly care about each other, they won't just try, they'll make it happen.

 

[cliteatingman]

Hello everybody. Let me just say that this my first thread I have ever started on this site and I hope I am posting it in the right.

Here we go! I want men and women to answer this.

My boyfriend(my first) and I are at a slight empass. He loves it when I give him blowjobs but he has become hesitant to "return the favor". He used to go down on me. I sorta understand his reasons why (nosy roommates), but when we talked about me stopping, he said that he didnt want me to stop. Actually, I dont mind doing for him, but I feel kinda slutty without anything in return.

What should I do in this situation? He is the only guy I ever been with so I have no past experience to go on for reference.

Should I stop and demand that action return?
Or should I continue on like I have been?

Any advice would be helpful. So please comment or PM me.


Sincerely,
NTF

Demand equal treatment. If he won't eat you, I will!!

 

[madisoncb29]

Yeah I'd have to agree with what everyone else has said so far. A relationship goes both ways and he should definitely be satisfying you in some way or another. Those types of relationships tend to end up with one partner cheating because they aren't getting what they need from their SO. If I were you, I would definitely talk to him and possibly go as far as to demand it. If he still refuses, well then it may be time to look elsewhere...

 

[Rowan00]

Hello everybody. Let me just say that this my first thread I have ever started on this site and I hope I am posting it in the right.

Here we go! I want men and women to answer this.

My boyfriend(my first) and I are at a slight empass. He loves it when I give him blowjobs but he has become hesitant to "return the favor". He used to go down on me. I sorta understand his reasons why (nosy roommates), but when we talked about me stopping, he said that he didnt want me to stop. Actually, I dont mind doing for him, but I feel kinda slutty without anything in return.

What should I do in this situation? He is the only guy I ever been with so I have no past experience to go on for reference.

Should I stop and demand that action return?
Or should I continue on like I have been?

Any advice would be helpful. So please comment or PM me.


Sincerely,
NTF

Ultimately you don't want to be with a selfish guy who won't consider your needs. As stated above, who cares about nosy roommates -- if he can still receive, then he can give as well. Hold off on pleasing him until he gets the drift that you deserve a little something in return yourself.

 

[nicoblue7777]

i agree, you need to lay down the law: you go down when HE goes down.

i don't know WHY he wouldn't want to....i loooooove eating pussy, so sexy

 

[Bbb13]

i agree, you need to lay down the law: you go down when HE goes down.

i don't know WHY he wouldn't want to....i loooooove eating pussy, so sexy

Me too. I'd do it in front of a crowd if allowed

 

[mwaha]

Of course he doesn't want you to stop.

I was in a similar situation with a girl that I dated. I didn't want to do any manscaping, and after we had this similar discussion, she said "Ok, but if you're not going to shave down there, neither am I). She wasn't dramatic about it, she just let me know. When I asked her to, she just said "I will when you will." It never escalated into a fight because she didn't let it.

It could be the same way for you. Next time he asks for a blowjob, just say "nope, not until you start going down on me," and leave it at that. If he gets butt hurt about it, leave the interaction. Maybe he's fine with no blowjobs.

But the biggest question is, are you fine with not being eaten out? If it's a must for you be prepared to walk out of the relationship over it. If it's not a must for you, then tell him you won't start going down until he does. But don't let it escalate into any drama. Either he's willing or he isn't, but there shouldn't be any negotiating or haggling.

 

[NighttimeFling]

I want to thank everyone for their helpful advice and...um...offers.
But we talked it out and he did realized (after day of feeling like a jack ass) and admited that he was wrong and selfish. So to make up for it, he brought a new necklace and promised to be my "servant" for the day the next time we get together!! Yay! That day is going to be fun!!

Thanks bunches!!!!

 

[box13]

Dangit I missed the entire conversation!

OK, no one cares, but ya, you should talk with him. It sounds like his buddies are joking with him some about pleasing you, and that's making him shy about taking care of your needs. Not good in my worthless opinion. At some point, like you've said, some talking will help him put your needs above his ego.

Otherwise, let him go so he can learn the hard lesson for "next time".

 

[NighttimeFling]

@ box13 - your advice is still valid and thanks for it. I dont think it is friends' talking up his ego. We dont have any friends we can talk about this stuff with openly. He has one friend he turns to talk and I come here.

Update time and I feel stupid!
I think it is time to admit I like pleasuring him. I actually like his taste .
In this point in time, after tonight we wont get to see each other until the end of the month. So We found ourselves alone and I went down on him. After he could form words again, we just held each other for a while. Then he asked me what I wanted to do...I told him that he didnt have to do anything if he didnt feel comfortable enough. He broke down and said that it wasnt just a comfort issue but a control issue. (Yay Break-through!!!) He is a afraid of hurting me or pushing me too far. (though a part of me is screaming for us to go all the way. XD ) So, I told him that it was okay and that we will work through it somehow.

I probably should come clean about my "roommates"...I didnt want to say this earlier because I am ashamed of this fact... My "roommates" are my parents. I still live at home because I cant find a good enough job to move out. Sorry about that little lie So I really dont want them catching us in the middle of that.

So yeah, in the end, he drove away feeling happy and I sat in the patio in tears....I suck at life...