Solitude

[NoJo]

I spend quite a lot of my waking life alone and in silence -- yes, alone, not even online chatting or emailing or on the phone. I really enjoy quiet solitude -- in fact I need it.

Because I spend so much time on my own, I can become very extrovert and talkative when I socialize, so much so that people think I must be on drugs, or bipolar.

I like this see-saw life, although it's probably not very healthy for me.

How about you? Do you crave solitude? Do you have too much of it? How have you balanced your life, or how would you like to balance it better?

 

[The_Fool]

I have a significant need for alone time. Allowing myself to ground and center. Doesn't matter what the activity is, although I find reading to be the most meditative. Quiet plays a large part in there as well. When I was younger, I found a need to listen to music to stimulate me while I was driving. Now I find the need for silence to be more overwhelming, especially during the commute to and from work. I find that silence allows to focus or defocus, depending on the need. I don't think this is a function of my age, but more a function of my stress level and responsibility level.

 

[Boota]

I love solitude and dead silence. But I never get any of it anymore. Being newly married and inheriting four kids, solitude and silence are things of the past for me.

I once spent almost a month completely alone and I loved it. When I first tried to talk after almost a week of not saying anything my voice didn't want to cooperate. Sounded like I was about fourteen the way it cracked. After that I practiced my singing. I had a guitar and a notebook and pens. It was a great vacation.

 

[AllardChardon]

Currently, I am a cancer nurse for my ex, who is now home all the time, 24 -7. I have very little alone time. But I do take 3 hour baths several times a week to decompress. I always feel so much better after a long bath.

 

[rgraham666]

I spend most of my time alone.

Not much choice in the matter as I have so little in common with most people it often seems like we are from different planets.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I spend large amounts of time in solitude because it is absolutely necessary for me to do so. I find the noise and constant confusion of too much talk to be overwhelming. At one point, I seriously considered not ever speaking again because I find so much of what I and everyone else says to be meaningless. I write for a living, so I prefer the language on paper to that in the human mouth.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'm usually up at 3:30 or 4:00 AM for the quiet and solitude. The small hours stimulate me now like the late night hours used to. I find sunrises as sexy as I used to find sunsets, but in a different way. I'm awake and aware, and everyone else is asleep. Vampire hours.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

The older I get, the more I need it. Space and silence are things I've always craved. And I like to be in a position where I can change that - when and if I choose to. I don't like uninvited intrusion into my world. I don't deal well with that.

I crave contact and touch, but on my terms. Selfish, I know. But necessary at this stage of my life. Alone - I like being alone. Now lonely . . . that's a bitch of a different variety.

 

[Vermilion]

I hate being alone. I'm a social creature, but spend the large majority of my time alone, from when I wake up until 5pm and then 2 nights a week as well.

Even a cat would help, but I can;t have one. It's why I spend so much time online, interacting. I crave noise and distraction to try and disguise being alone, TV and radio constantly on.

Occasionally I like to spend time alone, but I prefer it in the evenings and always through choice. Forced solitude is...aching.

If I was in a community, with people around me and people I could potentially see, but choose not to, then it would be a different thing entirely.

I do stupid things, sometimes, because I'm alone, or to relieve the being alone.

One thing I do love, though, is driving when I'm alone. It gives me quiet time to mull things over. Ditto a long bath. Sometimes I have a bath or go for a drive just so I can enjoy being alone, instead of dreading it.

 

[impressive]

I am quite content with solitude (as I am in excellent company), but when I want more meat space socialization, it's an intense desire that can cause severe discomfort if unfulfilled.

The highest compliment I can give a companion/partner/lover is that being with him or her is as comfortable as being alone.

 

[fifty5]

Being alone can be good - I really relished my solo sailing.

Being with others can be good too - in other ways can I feel more fulfilled when working with others.

The bummer is either when the other is what's wanted and needed...