soft swinging vs hard swinging

[Newstart]

I have a story in development that explores the different perceptions between a married couple of the difference between soft and hard swinging and would like opinions of where the boundary lies.

Is it just penetration or penetration without a condom or penetration without ejaculation or something else all together?

After all, we've all heard that famous presidential declaration "I did not have sex with that woman"!

So where do you think the boundary is?

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

... So where do you think the boundary is?

Is there a boundary? if you go to a swingers' meet the decision is made; you are both willing to swing. If one party doesn't know that it is a swingers' meet until they see what is going on, then they have been cheated.

 

[emap]

Hard and soft swinging are done in baseball.

When your talking about couples screwing others in the same or different room, swinging is swinging is swinging. There's not a difference between two wives getting on their knees to give blowjobs to the other husband and bending over to let the other husband fuck them hard and fast. I've heard of soft swinging before it varies wildly, some call a soft swinger one who only does oral sex, some call a person who only has sex with someone else in the same room as their wife/husband a soft swinger.

Screw it a swinger is someone who does any sexual acts with someone they are not married to but are married. This includes making out so long as the other person in the marriage knows and is getting some with someone else. If the other part of the marriage does not know it's called cheating.

At this point I think it is time to remind people of the K.I.S.S. method. Means Keep It Simple Stupid, words to live by. We write erotic stories here not reasons why Oswald did not act alone and there was someone on the grassy knoll.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Good question

You ask a good question, and I can see how it could provide the framework for an interesting story. There is, however, a problem with your terminology. Couples who enjoy the swinging lifestyle are divided between those who are "soft swap" swingers and those who are "full swap" swingers.

There is no soft/hard terminology used by lifestyle couples. My wife and I have been active in the lifestyle for over ten years. During that time we have been members of on-premises clubs, have attended parties, have met couples and groups for various social and sexual events, and have otherwise participated in all types of events with couples whose participation varied greatly.

To answer your question, the basic difference between full swap and soft swap couples is intercourse. Full swap couples fuck each other's spouses. Soft swap couples do not. Within the soft swap participants, there are also varying degrees of participation. There are some soft swap couples who will engage in full girl on girl sex. There are others who will perform oral sex--or some other type of sex short of intercourse (like fingering, using toys, massage, breast play, etc.)--with members of the opposite sex. There are other soft swap couples who do not have any physical contact at all with the other couple. These couples will have sex with their own partners, only, in the same bed as another couple. They are more accurately labled "exhibitionists" and "voyeurs", but they tend to consider themselves part of the swinging lifestyle (even if others do not).

Full swap swingers are also subject to sub-classifications. "Same room" swingers play together as a couple with other couples (or singles, occastionally). The do not separate from one another, even when fucking someone else. "Anything goes" swingers, on the other hand, are pretty much free agents. We have been to parties where couples walk in together, but don't see each other for the rest of the night. They act like singles at lifestyle events.

"Hard core" is a somewhat derisive term sometimes used to refer to those couples who are so active in the lifestyle that it has come to define their relationship. They are active nearly every weekend, constantly seeking new partners, and rarely getting to know anyone on a personal level. They are the couple that can walk into a club and everyone yells "Hi Norm" as soon as they enter.

Most of this detail is only going to make sense to other swingers. Be careful how much you use, but at least you can use it correctly.

 

[Newstart]

Thank you so much for your reply and for the informed comment.
My interest is in the tension between the couple - who's defininition is right - who thought that they knew their partner's mind?

As all the best sex comes from the mind, so do all the worst relationships!

 

[Carnevil9]

I am not a swinger, but I know lots of people who are. They all say the same thing: for a couple to survive that lifestyle, they have to be VERY VERY VERY CLEAR on what they plan to do and what they plan to not do. In other words, agree on the ground rules. Communication is the key, between the members of the couple, and with the other couples that they are swinging with.

 

[Newstart]

I am not a swinger, but I know lots of people who are. They all say the same thing: for a couple to survive that lifestyle, they have to be VERY VERY VERY CLEAR on what they plan to do and what they plan to not do. In other words, agree on the ground rules. Communication is the key, between the members of the couple, and with the other couples that they are swinging with.

Well, in your warning of being clear with each other lies the tension that produces the story.
Thanks

 

[jeninflorida]

I have a story in development that explores the different perceptions between a married couple of the difference between soft and hard swinging and would like opinions of where the boundary lies.

Is it just penetration or penetration without a condom or penetration without ejaculation or something else all together?

After all, we've all heard that famous presidential declaration "I did not have sex with that woman"!

So where do you think the boundary is?

boundary is where the woman sets it! hehe.

a lot of people talk about "soft" as same room same partner.

 

[Newstart]

Of course you're right - the woman will always ultimately decide.
I've just read your story "The first Step" and loved it.

You might like my similar story Fun in Paris
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=534269&page=submissions

 

[JRaven]

soflabbwlvr pretty much nailed it. They're also right in that some of it may not make sense unless you're a swinger.

http://www.gentlenibbles.com/category/new-swinger-advice/

This web site offers advice for new couples to swinging. I think you'll find nearly all of the issues that can arise between new couples and how to avoid them. Of course, for your story, you'll want to play on those issues.

We've been with couples that soft swing only (no intercourse). We've also played with couples that had no problems screwing other people. But they wouldn't kiss anybody but their own spouses. Others, there's no contact with other couples, just playing in the same room with one's own spouse. There are as many different ways of swinging as there are couples swinging.

Jenny