So you want to write a Villanelle....

The_Fool

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I have absolutely no business doing this thread, but screw it. I am going to do it anyway.

So you want to write a Villanelle.

Okay maybe not. Stop now while you still have some sanity left. I’ll warn you. The Villanelle has rhymes. OH SHIT. I just lost a bunch of poets there. Gotta keep that free verse thing going.

So what is a villanelle? It is a specific form poem. (Duh, I already figured that out.) It has a total of six stanzas, five of which have three lines and the final stanza having four for a total of 19 lines. The rhyme scheme rather unique because it only uses two rhyme phrases, lets call them A and B (rather than tweedledum and tweedledee since that tends to lengthen what I have to type). It also has repeating phrases, both with the same rhyme phrase, lets call them A1 and A2. What a bunch of gobblygook. Okay, here is basically what the poem looks like from a line/stanza/rhyme view.

A1
B
A2

A
B
A1

A
B
A2

A
B
A1

A
B
A2

A
B
A1
A2

Clear as mud? Goooood.

Okay, here is an example of one I wrote. Be aware, for some foolish reason, I have always used Iambic Pentameter to write my Villanelles. This is not required. Some of the sources I have read, however, do suggest adopting a rhythmic pattern. Others have said be as crazy as you want.

Victorian Amethyst


A thought of love lost made her want to cry.
She counts each stone and thinks of what he meant,
with memories of time gone by and by.

She listens close and hears her grandma sigh.
Her arms wrapped round her legs, her eyes intent.
A thought of love lost made her want to cry.

She spoke of love beneath a starry sky
Short times together and just what they’d meant
With memories of time gone by and by

She welcomed every message from her guy,
The English heirloom necklace that he’d sent.
A thought of love lost made her want to cry.

A final note, no need for her reply.
In cruel war, another life was spent,
with memories of time gone by and by.

The time must come for each of us to die.
Last goodbyes to her filled with love were sent.
A thought of love lost made her want to cry,
with memories of time gone by and by.


A more famous example of a Villanelle is one by Dylan Thomas:

Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



The key to the Villanelle is the selection of the repetitive phrases. They have to have the strength to stand apart as well as stand together. The really difficult part of writing a villanelle is to come up with phrasing that allows shades of meaning through the repetitive phrasing. For instance in my villanelle, there were two women, a grandmother and a granddaughter. Sometimes I was speaking from the grandmother’s frame of reference, other times I was speaking from the granddaughter’s.

You don’t have to be serious with these things either. Here is another one I wrote. Actually my first. Verrry tongue in cheek:

Drink the Villanelle, Hear the Blues


I never knew I had so much to lose.
That you would leave me all alone tonight.
I got that feeling Mama called “The Blues.”

I’d stepped out with the guys from work for brews.
I got that need to get a little tight.
I never knew I had so much to lose.

I know you hate it when I smell of booze.
You came along and tried to pick a fight.
I got that feeling Mama called “The Blues.”

You told me there was no excuse to use.
And that I really wasn’t very bright.
I never knew I had so much to lose.

You hit me hard enough to leave a bruise,
And told me I had best stay out of sight.
I got that feeling Mama called “The Blues.”

I couldn’t stand it when I heard the news,
Her Sis told me she left that very night.
I never knew I had so much to lose.
I got that feeling Mama called “The Blues.”


So give it a try, you got nothing to lose. Post it here and lets talk about it. If you want to talk to a poet emeritus about Villanelles, talk to Angeline. She writes ‘em too.

Ange, post a few Villes here…..please?:D
 
I've written one but can't find it. Honestly. I have about 20 terzanelles, though. No sonnets, except the hypersonnet. Damn. It's been about 2 years, so I guess it's time for a new villanelle. I'll go work on one, and if it gives me a headache, I'm coming after you!
 
I think I just wrote one recently. I know I have a bunch.

Wait. I'll find one.

Villanelle Fevier

Snow’s heavy silence crushing ground
Beyond the pane her eyes inspect
The empty landscape falling down

To nothing loud as quiet sound
Or cheek on cold glass to reflect
Snow’s heavy silence crushing ground

Where ice and crake meet clear surround
The twilight of her dark aspect
The empty landscape falling down

One barren tree with branches frowned
In drooping weight, its curves direct
Snow’s heavy silence crushing ground

Her palm’s etched smudge of shadow found
A frozen still life’s counter effect
The empty landscape falling down

The quietude of winter drowned
A breathless world of deep neglect
Snow’s heavy silence crushing ground
The empty landscape falling down
 
Maybe I'll write a villanelle about a young, female bad guy.
:rose:
 
Ange, is this a new vill? It took me about six reads to get a smooth read. I kept stumbling on this part and a few other places:
Her palm’s etched smudge of shadow found
A frozen still life’s counter effect

I had to read it aloud and I had to read it slowly. When I did, it was fine. I should know that one simply can't zip through a villanelle. lol
 
I have a half-started villanelle around here somewhere, I think. I'm not sure if there's much more than just the rhyme scheme in it, but the word file exists.

I'll be back. :D
 
OK

Sounds like it could get the mind awake. Are you going
to make this a challenge thing? If so count me in.
 
WickedEve said:
Ange, is this a new vill? It took me about six reads to get a smooth read. I kept stumbling on this part and a few other places:
Her palm’s etched smudge of shadow found
A frozen still life’s counter effect

I had to read it aloud and I had to read it slowly. When I did, it was fine. I should know that one simply can't zip through a villanelle. lol

I think it's the first one I ever wrote, and I'm sure it shows, lol.

I'll find a better one, dernit. :D
 
Villanelles. I'll just admire them from afar if it's ok with you.
 
My effort at a Villanelle

Last Orders

At ”last orders” every thirsty drinker hurries to fill his jar.
The weary barmen long to go home to their sleeping wives
And still the noisy punters come crowding round the bar.

Dan, the oldest barman, scowls as the endless jukebox jives,
He watches, sidelong, as the tight skirts dance.
The weary barmen long to go home to their sleeping wives

Chuck polishes a glass and catches a come-hither glance,
He knows trouble when he sees those kohl-dark eyes.
He watches, sidelong, as the tight skirts dance

Now the jukebox plays a bluesy tune, a saxophone sighs.
“Time to go home, if you got one.” Shouts Dan above the din,
He knows trouble when he sees those kohl-dark eyes

Chuck’s serving old Annie with – “just one more small gin.”
Dan’s swabbing the bar with a cloth soaked in beer
“Time to go home, if you got one.” Shouts Dan above the din.

Annie sips her last “small gin” and tries to bend Chuck’s ear,
Dan’s swabbing the bar with a cloth soaked in beer.
At “last orders” every thirsty drinker hurries to fill his jar
And still the noisy punters come crowding round the bar.




I'm thinking it's time for another try. :D


(edited to add - wait! Is that a Terzanelle? *runs for the "Form Book")
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Re: My effort at a Villanelle

Tristesse said:
Last Orders

At ”last orders” every thirsty drinker hurries to fill his jar.
The weary barmen long to go home to their sleeping wives
And still the noisy punters come crowding round the bar.

Dan, the oldest barman, scowls as the endless jukebox jives,
He watches, sidelong, as the tight skirts dance.
The weary barmen long to go home to their sleeping wives

Chuck polishes a glass and catches a come-hither glance,
He knows trouble when he sees those kohl-dark eyes.
He watches, sidelong, as the tight skirts dance

Now the jukebox plays a bluesy tune, a saxophone sighs.
“Time to go home, if you got one.” Shouts Dan above the din,
He knows trouble when he sees those kohl-dark eyes

Chuck’s serving old Annie with – “just one more small gin.”
Dan’s swabbing the bar with a cloth soaked in beer
“Time to go home, if you got one.” Shouts Dan above the din.

Annie sips her last “small gin” and tries to bend Chuck’s ear,
Dan’s swabbing the bar with a cloth soaked in beer.
At “last orders” every thirsty drinker hurries to fill his jar
And still the noisy punters come crowding round the bar.




I'm thinking it's time for another try. :D


(edited to add - wait! Is that a Terzanelle? *runs for the "Form Book")

Looks more like a Terzanelle to me...:D

Cool! You just got nominated to do a Terzanelle thread.....
 
The_Fool said:


A1
B
A2

A
B
A1

A
B
A2

A
B
A1

A
B
A2

A
B
A1
A2


Ange, post a few Villes here…..please?:D

Trerzanelle

A - refrain
B - repeton
A - refrain

b -
C - repeton
B - repeton

c -
D - repeton
B - repeton

d -
E - repeton
D - repeton

e
F - repeton
D - repeton

f
A - refrain or F - repeton
F - repeton or A - refrain
A A - regrain

Very similar, I think.
 
Found a few, but not the one I'm looking for, grrrr...

tiny dancer
she lies in wait for all to see
silken skirt around her waist
thoughts of her dance for me

arms over her bare chest in modesty
with light catching her angelic face
she lies in wait for all to see

a spin of silk skirts flowing free
her body moves in fluid grace
thoughts of her dance for me

her breath is held indefinately
the image of her held in space
she lies in wait for all to see

come dance and together we’ll be
moving together face to face
thoughts of her dance for me

a sole picture of her beauty
inspired these words woven like lace
she lies in wait for all to see
thoughts of her dance for me
 
Villainess Villanelle

She prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
in darkest night she glides along by feel,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

No housewife shakes her broom and hollers scat,
she does not hunt for mice to make her meal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

This woman-cat hunts bigger prey than that;
a human bat, with secrets to reveal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

She seeks a victim, decadent and fat,
his fingers ringed with gold for her to steal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

A crime of passion, like a welcome mat
to lure The Bat and spur his hunter's zeal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

He hunts her and she hunts him, tit for tat,
and when he catches her she'll make him kneel,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.


http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/dccomics/img/villians/catwoman.gif
 
Re: Villainess Villanelle

The Mutt said:
She prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
in darkest night she glides along by feel,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

No housewife shakes her broom and hollers scat,
she does not hunt for mice to make her meal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

This woman-cat hunts bigger prey than that;
a human bat, with secrets to reveal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

She seeks a victim, decadent and fat,
his fingers ringed with gold for her to steal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

A crime of passion, like a welcome mat
to lure The Bat and spur his hunter's zeal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

He hunts her and she hunts him, tit for tat,
and when he catches her she'll make him kneel,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.


http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/dccomics/img/villians/catwoman.gif

Well done, Mutt! This is a hard form to master imo and you nailed it.

:)
 
Ok My Fool

I just wrote it now--for your thread baby. A "What Am I" villanelle.

:D :rose:

What lies betwixt the day and night,
and falls most gentle to the sea
to fade horizon from our sight,

pulling a blanket over light,
and hastening as hours flee?
What lies betwixt the day and night,

playing a trick as if a slight
of sky woudst play a trick on thee
to fade horizon from our sight,

closing dark curtains on the blight
of human storm and misery?
What lies betwixt the day and night

in amethyst and tangerine, the wight
that ushers eventide, moans in painless agony
to fade horizon from our sight?

The day must end. The stars glow bright
signposts to sleep, to pillows' plea.
What lies betwixt the day and night
to fade horizon from our sight?
 
Re: Re: So you want to write a Villanelle....

Tristesse said:
Trerzanelle

A - refrain
B - repeton
A - refrain

b -
C - repeton
B - repeton

c -
D - repeton
B - repeton

d -
E - repeton
D - repeton

e
F - repeton
D - repeton

f
A - refrain or F - repeton
F - repeton or A - refrain
A A - regrain

Very similar, I think.

and more fun to write, imo. evie write killer terzanelles, too. :)

:heart:
 
Re: Villainess Villanelle

The Mutt said:
She prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
in darkest night she glides along by feel,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

No housewife shakes her broom and hollers scat,
she does not hunt for mice to make her meal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

This woman-cat hunts bigger prey than that;
a human bat, with secrets to reveal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

She seeks a victim, decadent and fat,
his fingers ringed with gold for her to steal,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat.

A crime of passion, like a welcome mat
to lure The Bat and spur his hunter's zeal,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.

He hunts her and she hunts him, tit for tat,
and when he catches her she'll make him kneel,
she prowls the rooftops, silent as a cat,
perhaps tonight's the night she'll catch The Bat.


http://www.alexrossart.com/gallery/publishers/dccomics/img/villians/catwoman.gif

Excellent job....:D
 
Re: Ok My Fool

Angeline said:
I just wrote it now--for your thread baby. A "What Am I" villanelle.

:D :rose:

What lies betwixt the day and night,
and falls most gentle to the sea
to fade horizon from our sight,

pulling a blanket over light,
and hastening as hours flee?
What lies betwixt the day and night,

playing a trick as if a slight
of sky woudst play a trick on thee
to fade horizon from our sight,

closing dark curtains on the blight
of human storm and misery?
What lies betwixt the day and night

in amethyst and tangerine, the wight
that ushers eventide, moans in painless agony
to fade horizon from our sight?

The day must end. The stars glow bright
signposts to sleep, to pillows' plea.
What lies betwixt the day and night
to fade horizon from our sight?

Ange you are my sunset misery.....:D
 
I cheated a bit on this one, counting upon the almost silent ...ed on Undocumented, the eleventh syllable in an otherwise ten syllable poem.

The poem was about a fiberglass statue of Jesus that was seen washed up on a sandbar in the Rio Grande near Eagle Pass, Texas. The border patrol was dispatched on a rescue mission, only to find the lifesize Jesus, newly escaped from some cross somewhere.

The city council of Eagle Pass waited for several months to see if anyone would claim the statue, when no one did, they voted to donate it to a church. During the waiting period, people flocked to the police department where they held the statue. The people came to call the statue, The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented, hence my poem, with the barrowed phrase. I posted it without quotation marks on this important line, something I correct here.

Jesus Saved

Scantily clad, he rode the rough current
Face down, turbid in muddy Rio Grande:
"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented."

His wet body paused but a brief moment,
Resting on water’s narrow spit of sand.
Scantily clad, he rode the rough current

Brought the Border Patrol’s rescue attempt.
Carrying his wet body onto dry land,
"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented,"

Who now stands, arms spread wide, bloody knees bent
Pathways so far from any Holy Land,
Scantily clad, he rode the rough current

Where Eagles Pass this blessed testament
And thousands flock to understand
"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented."

Crucified Christ, without the cross, content
As lost savior to the others that swam,
Scantily clad, he rode the rough current
"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented."


jim : )
 
Re: Re: Ok My Fool

The_Fool said:
Ange you are my sunset misery.....:D

and here i thought i was your morning glory...

(ok. back to sleep for me!)

;)
 
I hate to let a form go by...

So, here's my sick attempt at humour in villanelle.

Say No! To Crack.

Her skirt rides the crack of her ass,
Is my granny not wearing her slips?
Shake your head and just let it pass.

Amazement awaits those who follow that mass
of jelly-like flesh, curved over her hips,
and her skirt rides the crack of her ass.

Granny grins bright, as bold as brass,
sensually pouting her lips.
Shake your head and just let it pass.

For now my granny isn't being so crass
as to open her blouse to her nips
but her skirt rides the crack of her ass.

Don't accuse her of not having class.
Of life's risque wine, she relishes sips.
Shake your head and just let it pass.

So here's to my granny, please lift a glass --
Oh God! Pappy! Rezip!
Lord, her skirt rides the crack of her ass!
Shake your head and just let it pass.
 
Liar said:
Villanelles. I'll just admire them from afar if it's ok with you.
After checking the development state of my previous attempt at a Villanelle, I'm tempted to agree with you. :D
 
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