So Why the Secrecy?

[DarlingBri]

Just curious...

Besides from the normal "there are a lot of nutters out there" precautions we all (I hope) take on the 'net, I'm wondering why Literoticans are largely secretive.

I fully respect everyone's right not to be trolled or have their picture posted or whatever, but that's not really what I'm asking.

Most other places I post, it's like "I'm Bob, I live in Iowa, I'm an accountant, and I'm married with three kids, Teddy, Freddy and Eddy." Or even "I'm Bob Smith, I live in Sioux City, Iowa..." etc.

Nobody here has shared any information of this sort on the boards in the (admittedly short) time I've been here. Even email addresses are top secret for many. I just wondered why many Literoticans prefer it this way.

 

[Angel]

Probably because it's an erotic website. People's jobs could be either on the line or they do not want to deal with comments about what they are doing on the internet. As openminded as we all are, sadly the majority of the world isn't. Some people are also facing family issues that the knowledge that the person visits this site could ruin.

 

[Mistress]

Name: Misty


and thats all I'm sharing!

 

[Angel]

LOL Mine rhymes with Misty and starts with a C.

 

[Dillinger]

Actually there have been threads where bits and pieces of information have been shared. Along the lines of "are you married" "where do you live" "what do you do for a living" "how old are you" etc.

My email is listed here but that's all. I might provide other information privately depending on how well I get to know someone.

For me, and many others I would guess, the secrecy/privacy has to do with protection both of my personal life and my work life. I would prefer not to risk the chance that someone I know "real life" might recognize me by my picture, combination of job/location etc. I also should not be posting here from work (*lol*) especially considering what I do for a living.

I don't mind posting some information here and there. I'll answer more questions then I probably should. But putting it all together in one place would be too much of a risk.

 

[indyweasel]

On various threads people have given out general location and stuff like that. Thats how I've found out that there are some people on here who live close to where I do. (hi Misty) Most people will tell you more offline once they get to know you better.

 

[Mistress]

Smiles and crinkles her nose!

 

[DarlingBri]

No no, there's nobody I want any of that information from

Just curious, that's all. I'm sorry so many people are concerned that posting on a BBS could impact their offline lives.

Personally, the great revelation that I post here wouldn't have an impact on my life that I can think of.

 

[Mistress]

It would impact mine big time..and I mean big time..so...thats why I ternd to remove my pictures so often..that and considering I'm self conscious.

 

[DarlingBri]

Hmmm....

So I guess your worst nightmare would be bumping into you Dad or your boss at Lit, huh?

<g>

 

[Mistress]

LOL! neither....
just others thats all..

 

[KillerMuffin]

Well, one of our number posted her name and city, state on here not so long ago. She was raped shortly thereafter.

I get email from time to time from some serious nutjobs who take my stories and audio just a little too seriously. The whole "we're meant for each other" deal really sends the creepy crawlies up and down my spine and makes me watch my back a little more intensely for a while.

I write erotica on a website, to some people that's enough justification for them to think that I want them desperately, when in fact I'm merely sharing fantasies, and that they are doing a good thing by trying to be with me. I admit to reading too much by John Douglas who says that in a certain type of sexual killers, the first killing is done because he had built up the fantasy around a female and when he tried to bring it about in reality and it didn't go like it was supposed to, ie she freaked and rejected him, he ends up killing her. And here I thought the stud was paranoid as hell.

Anyway, Darling Bri isn't a person I'm terribly worried about. But "My Darling Muffin, Love Your lover, Roger" is the nutwad I'm wanting to be staying well clear of. It just makes sense. Not that I would be too difficult to find if you had half a brain and a willingness to travel.

 

[Madame Pandora]

Oh! What a good question. And (here’s a shocker) I have a plethora of theories about this.

First, I will tell you, my reasons are threefold.

A. There are a LOT of whackos out there, and, for better or worse, erotic and porn sites tend to draw the primo nutcases. If you need any reassurance, I’ll send you some of my “fan mail” and I’m sure mine pales in comparison to some the other authors of Lit get (not to mention poor Laurel). And, KM, I'll bet, considering the stuff you write about, your nutcases make my nutcases look like angels. So far the only really scary stuff I've gotten has been about my audio submissions, but I'm not too worried. I am still a "better safe than sorry" type of gal. Being careful has never stopped me from getting to know an interesting person.

B. No one knows who is lurking behind another computer. Am I okay with the majority of my friends knowing about my frequenting a porn site? Sure. But I have parents (and hell, grandparents) on the web and they are healthy adults and I would not be shocked at all to find my dad flipping through erotic stories. I don’t, however, need the Freudian/Electra nightmare of interacting with him (or another family member) in this respect. Also, because of the nature of the work I do, the last thing I need is to be sitting in a meeting and wondering if the guy across the table is thinking about my last porn story.

C. There is a degree of “fun” in being somewhat anonymous. Like meeting a stranger on an airplane.

I suspect that, for many, it is a combination of many things. Plus, I think, IRL, not many people are very free and open with their sexualities like they are when they are anonymous. Here they can express themselves without the “hang ups” of reality. Maybe they don’t think they look attractive. Maybe they’re introverted. Maybe they want to be a little freer with their sexuality without treading upon the sensitivities of a significant other. There is no end of possibilities, and I’m not implying that all of them are positive, I’m just pretty sure the vast majority of them are pretty harmless.

I have no problem with anonymity. I think the one thing about the internet is you get to interact with people on many levels – the people they WANT to be, the people they ARE and the different personas they represent. As much as we can call it “lying” people who conjure personas different from their own are really just revealing a different aspect of their personalities that fractures off from the reality they dwell in. Sometimes, those personas can be intoxicatingly interesting, at least IMHO. I have been delighted by a richly textured individual hiding beneath an unassuming surface more than once.

The thing is, just like IRL, there should be rules of etiquette. People should respect the individual. But, if a person really wants their identity protected, they should take responsibility for that. Whenever I send out my pic, I request that it not be forwarded without my permission. Has it been? Oh, I’m SURE it has (in fact I know it for a fact and I know who did it). I could have wailed and railed about it, but the bottom line is that it was MY responsibility not to send it. Just like it is my responsibility not to let slip too much of my personal information. And if I do, I have no one to blame but myself for allowing it to happen. Yeah, it’s still a cheesy thing to do to reveal someone’s personal info. But I don’t think it’s MORALLY wrong. I just think it’s like putting a pall over a party. And, I always maintain, if you don’t stick your neck out, you’ve got nothing to fear from the person holding the axe…but that’s neither here nor there.

Good thread, Bri

MP

 

[DarlingBri]

Fuck.

MP, you put so much time and thought into that reply; I really want to be able to say something intelligent and preferrably witty in return.

Sadly, the only thing I can think of to say after several visits to this thread, re-reading your posts, is:

"OK. Makes sense. Thanks."

<sigh>

 

[bluntforcemama]

Angel is right... it's a sex site. I'm always afraid that my dad will be on here and find out who I am. But I guess after a while the secrecy wears off, after all, I have pictures of myself linked to this site for all to see. I have a new drawing up, by the way. I'm sure everyone knows how to get there by now. Anyway,... I think that the secrecy on this site is pretty much universal for all erotic sites. To this day, I'm pretty sure only two people from this website know my real name. Anyway... that's another story! But for you Bri, I'd be willing to tell you anything you want to know! I've met my fair share of psychos from the internet, even have a nasty scar from a stab wound to prove it. And yes, there have been some horrible things that have happened to members here, and I wish I could take their pain away. As for knowing who, I'm afraid it's not my place to say at all, but I think that if you just be patient, the info you seek will come out. Sometimes it's all about reading between the lines.

[Edited by Myst on 03-28-2001 at 09:03 AM]

 

[KillerMuffin]

Because the FBI is looking through our underwear drawers while we are away.

Because our phone lines are tapped.

Because the FBI is watching us through satellite imaging.

Just ask my father-in-law. He'll tell ya.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

There's a girl here with a variety of names and has shown psychotic tendencies. My mother wouldn't like it. I'm ocassionally on TV and I don't want the world calling SAG for my address. I'm able to write erotica only by creating a new persona. It's fun to be someone else for a while. I'm normally private anyway. I have my books and poetry to protect me. I am sealed in my armor. Hiding in my room, safe within my room, I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock. I am an Island. I am the worst song Paul Simon has ever written.

But mostly because my mother wouldn't like it.

 

[Nobody Special]

Just curious...

Nobody here has shared any information of this sort on the boards in the (admittedly short) time I've been here. Even email addresses are top secret for many. I just wondered why many Literoticans prefer it this way.

I have too.. I share my life all the time with Literotica... search me out on the member search and read up..

But to answer your Question.. it is out of Respect for each other.. there have been problems in the past with some people posting others Emails and people getting slammed by others and so forth..

But if you want to know some one better then just Email them and if they want you know then they will respond to your email.. and you may find that there are more people here that have given more Info about them selves then you know..

All you have to do is ask..

E

 

[Guru]

 

[Dillinger]

Actually. I'm finally ready to admit it. I'm JD Salinger.

 

[Madame Pandora]

I am a rock. I am an Island. I am the worst song Paul Simon has ever written.

Oh...Dix...you wound me. I love that song.

Well, my only consolation is that the worst song written by Paul Simon is better than the best song written for Ms. Spears.

MP

 

[Starfish]

There's a girl here with a variety of names and has shown psychotic tendencies.

I told you to leave me alone, Dixon.

No, really, MP and KM are dead on.....very scary people out there.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The Best Song Paul Simon ever wrote:

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

What a dream I had
Pressed in organdy
Clothed in crinoline
Of smoky burgundy
Softer than the rain

I wandered empty streets down
Past the shop displays
I heard cathedral bells
Tripping down the alleyways
As I walked on

And when you ran to me
Your cheeks flushed with the night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight
I held your hand

And when I awoke
And felt you warm and near
I kissed your honey hair
With my grateful tears
Oh I love you, girl
Oh I love you

 

[Madame Pandora]

:::THUD:::

That is what plays when I turn on my computer at home, Dix.

Damn it...just when I'm ready to write you off...

MP

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Coming up next, the best and worst of Billy Joel, or "The Good, The Bad and The Uptown Girl".