so...not BDSM and just "aggh help/support" related

[bhndblueyes88]

Yah so....I've kinda been drinking and am going to use this distilled courage to finally ask for some advice/support for this little issue I've been having.

To put it bluntly, I have a bit of a crush on this other girl I know. I've never quite put my finger on why, but fact of the matter is, it's there. It's pretty innocent, along the lines of those "celebrity crushes" one gets, but still kinda plaguing me. One, I'm in a long distance relationship and horny, so I'm afraid it could shift not so innocent. This is a problem because I'm very happy in my relationship, I love my boyfriend very much and I am enormously happy with our relationship in and out of the bedroom, and I wouldn't want to cheat on him, no matter the circumstances. And I know that it'd upset her pretty well to cheat on her boyfriend too, even if she was properly alcoholinated/interested. That and I'm pretty sure that even if we were both very liberated for whatever reason at a moment, I'd still be turned down and then our friendship would just be AWKWARD. Who wants that?

Two, well, it's just bloody peturbing sometimes!! I know I have this little quandry, but I see her pretty regularly, I don't want to bring it up, I don't want to make an issue of it, and I'd really just prefer it went away. So it's kinda like some elephant in the room, but I'm the only one high enough to see it. So it's like "wtf it's an elephant...but no one else seems to see the elephant so WTF ELEPHANT..." Not to mention that I could see myself hinting at this whole debacle if I was sufficiently intoxicated around her (I pray I haven't already...I got quite drunk while we were on a trip together with some mutual friends).

Then, of course, there's the third little reason of, for the most part, I've always been reasonably hetero so having this strong of an attraction for another female is pretty awkward in general for my own personal levels of self-awkwardness. It's like, wtf ovaries, isn't penis enough for you? You have your own boobies!! They are pretty pathetic compared to hers (they aren't particularly large, but they over all look quite nice and well formed), but that's not the point!! You don't even like vagina! It's kinda grody! Why must you make life more complicated??! First you go and complicate the DreamScape with randomly homosexual dreams, and then you go bringing it into real life? I know you're deprived. I know all about your various repressions and issues. KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF. I'M BUSY WITH REAL LIFE SHIT.

So yah. It's just kinda awkward for me. It already feels a bit like I'm being unfaithful in some way, even though I'm really not...(the love, btw, does know and just laughed he thinks it's funny) And like I said, it's just generally kinda awkward XD I don't want to deal with this while I have so many other things to deal with!

So I dunno. I'll probably just sit on it until it goes away or we graduate and I move nice and far away so it's not awkward any more. That's how crushes usually work, eh? give 'em time and don't feed 'em, and they just kinda die?

aaannny who. Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[ImOnIt]

You sound like you have a fairly good handle on the situation.

Can you ask for permission? 'Hey X, I've been really longing for X & Y & Z. I trust you enough to share this with you, so be kind'.

I recommend against asking permission with a caveat 'but I definitely don't want <activity>'. <activity> may be something you decide you want. Listen to your partners thoughts (and later, their decision, concerns and restrictions), but don't 'bid' with your caveats.

Section 3: You have one body, and it came factory fitted with boobies + vagina. It also came with your mind, from which developed all of your desires. Don't stress about it for a single second longer.

 

[YourCaptor]

Maybe its that, working together sexual tension?

But cheating with a girl is still cheating, so don't be bad.

You could tell her that if you were a guy you would totally fuck her.

 

[DreamSensualist]

Or, and this is a scenario with a whole bunch of other things to consider, perhaps both your boyfriends are interested in bringing another person into the bedroom? She may hint at her bf wanting another girl & you can talk to your guy about it and see where it goes.... i know that this isn't necessarily helpful, but in your DreamScape, imagine if there was a guy there who at least one of you feels close to and help along the awkward parts of your first girl-girl encounter.

I don't think that this is the BEST solution. There is a lot to consider & threesomes are awkward in themselves. Also, her bf might be a prude or boring or perhaps just an asshat.

In the meantime I think it's wonderful when you get to know someone well enough & appreciate their inner & outer beauty regardless of gender. So, either look at her like you would a beautiful piece of art but don't touch, as a great masturbation scenario or both.

 

[the captians wench]

Jounar laughed at my first girly crush too. . . then added "take pics".


I went through all of those "wtf you don't like girls!" feelings too. Then I just said what the hell and went with it. As it turned out, for the most part, I don't dig chicks. Every now and again it's fun to play with another pair of boobs, and making out is making out, and if I close my eyes I really don't care who is fucking me, but when it comes to returning favors I'm just not into it (though I do enjoy having a strap on when the fancy strikes). ANd when it comes to relationships, a girl is just not what I mesh with.

I joke that I'm not really bi, I'm just friendly.

Anyway, I really don't have any advice. I usually chicken out of acting on crushes.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You've laid it out pretty well, there, and you know all the reasons why not... Shame your id won't listen to the rest of you, huh? Welcome to the world of unattainable desires!

 

[bhndblueyes88]

awww I love you guys ^_^ you make sober me feel better, and not ashamed of my drunken postings Thanks to everyone for your support ^_^

I'll probably just go on like I have been until it goes away She can be like my live walking-talking Hugh Jackman! You know, you dream about Hugh Jackman, you worship Hugh Jackman but in the end...it'd totally spoil it if you actually did anything with Hugh Jackman... *sighs* oh Hughie my love... <3 <3

*ehm*

Anywho...There won't be any sort of action detail in the future and I'm certainly not going to bring up some awkward idea like a threesome oO Egad I think everyone would be confused and awkwardy and AGH. But those with the suggestion, I still thank you for the ideas They are not bad, it's just not where I"m going. You give excellent directions to Yellowstone, but I am going to Yosemite.

And with that terrible metaphor, I believe I"m going to shut up now Thanks everyone ^_^