So... impress me!

[evelyn_carroll]

I looked at the Professor...

...and said, without pretention or emphasis, 'Dr Sloman, when I was much, much younger than you, I learnt to talk.'

 

[Jubal_Harshaw]

"If my credentials were not impressive enough for this school, I would not be standing before you now. If my credentials had not already impressed you you would not be sitting there pretending to ignore me. Harvard, Yale and Princeton look just as good on a resume as Oxford. So why don't you impress me by putting down your paper and your feet and telling me what you can teach me that they can't."

 

[evelyn_carroll]

Very good Jubal

(remember me?) but you forgot to mention Bangalore, Rio or Beijing Da Xue.

 

[frozen_north]

Im with Jubal. I think he says it in spades.

 

[CharleyH]

There's an urban legend about a guy who goes for an interview at Oxford. The professor giving the interview is a blue-blooded, old-school arrogant bastard. The candidate walks into the room to find the professor, feet up on the desk with a broadsheet newspaper in front of him. He barely gives the candidate a second glance. The candidate sits down nervously and waits for the interview to begin. The professor simply turns a page of his newspaper, and mutters from behind the sheets, "So... impress me!"

I'm not going to tell you just yet what the candidate did. And if you happen to already know, don't spoil things by letting it out just yet.

I want to know what you would do in this situation

Let your imaginations run riot

Scheherazade

From the first moment, I'd have been the girl not giving a shit, and have torn his reading material from him to look at me, and then I would smile and walk away. I was lucky to be interesting in UNI. In the second stance I'd have said, impress me and let me be inspired since you are the teacher and I'd have crossed my legs on hi/her desk and waited silently for the impression. I know its a trick question, but thats what I did or would do.

 

[evelyn_carroll]

Im with Jubal. I think he says it in spades.

I love his stories, so I suppose I agree with you.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I hand him his pink slip. When he looks up in astonished confusion, I inform him that the college now belongs to me. I also remind him that I suffered through several years of his arrogant behavior and am well aware of his sexual hijiks with female assistants. And then I open my zipper and give him the option...

 

[Jubal_Harshaw]

Im with Jubal. I think he says it in spades.

The situation described just reminded me of something my boss told me a few weeks ago. He said the stupidest question he ever heard is one that is asked first at almost every job interview: "So, why do you want to work for us?"

He says his response has always been the same: "That's a good question. I sent you a resume in response to a help wanted ad because I'm looking for work. At this point you know far more about me than I know about you. So, why do you think I should work for you?"

That would impress the hell out of me. But then Spencer is a pretty impressive guy.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Take the paper out of his hand, my eyes on him the whole time, roll up the paper, bop him on the head with it, sit down, and continue the interview normally.

 

[CharleyH]

Take the paper out of his hand, my eyes on him the whole time, roll up the paper, bop him on the head with it, sit down, and continue the interview normally.

Hi SIMA.

 

[R. Richard]

I would simply politely reply, "Anyone who reads that rag would certainly be impressed only by some sort of disgusting animal display. Do you have any professors here who read gentlemanly material or are they all old, mentally deficient reprobates?"

 

[Blackie Malone]

I would look at him and say....."I pushed a live human being out of a hole 10cm wide, push one out of your dick and we'll talk."

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I would look at him and say....."I pushed a live human being out of a hole 10cm wide, push one out of your dick and we'll talk."

he could push one in with his dick.

 

[matriarch]

I would look at him and say....."I pushed a live human being out of a hole 10cm wide, push one out of your dick and we'll talk."

Love it.

 

[Remec]

Minor threadjack

Heavens no. I assumed genderless horse.

(Don't ask how I hold the pistol.)

*thinking about anecdotal stories regarding the prehensileness of a horse's tongue*
*nodding quietly*

 

[Selena_Kitt]

tell him to turn the paper around the right way, and to get the fuck out of my chair.

*snort*

THAT I like

But...

*whine*
I wanna know the REAL answer...

 

[scheherazade_79]

Wow! Ok, I'm impressed! Excellent answers. Ten points for the 'right' answer goes to Affirmation, though. According to the urban legend, the candidate whipped out a lighter and simply torched the newspaper

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Wow! Ok, I'm impressed! Excellent answers. Ten points for the 'right' answer goes to Affirmation, though. According to the urban legend, the candidate whipped out a lighter and simply torched the newspaper

what a swiz that was. was expecting something more...

 

[scheherazade_79]

what a swiz that was. was expecting something more...

Sorry, Geronimo. Did you know though, that there's an island called North Sentinel, off the coast of Indonesia, where the natives have NEVER had proper contact with the outside world? They kill and eat everyone who lands on their island.

National Geographic sent a team over there, bearing gifts of a live pig, a child's doll and various other foodstuffs. The natives killed the pig, buried all the gifts in the sand, then went after the National Geographic team with spears, wounding some of them. They had a lucky escape. Other people haven't been so lucky.

A couple of years ago some Indonesian fishermen were fishing just off the coast of the island. Some of them decided to drop anchor and take a nap, but unfortunately the anchor broke free and the boat drifted in to North Sentinel. The fishermen were killed and partly eaten by the natives. The Indonesian army sent a helicopter over there to try and recover the body parts, but it failed to land after being pelted with rocks and spears.

So in the year 2006, the North Sentinelese have had no real contact with the outside world. They know nothing about cars, electricity, the USA, Britain, Iraq, supermarkets, Coca Cola, computers... nothing.

Don't you think that's fascinating?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

post deleted. duplicate.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

sounds like a housing estate near Bretton, Peterborough, UK

the island

 

[Affirmation]

Wow! Ok, I'm impressed! Excellent answers. Ten points for the 'right' answer goes to Affirmation, though. According to the urban legend, the candidate whipped out a lighter and simply torched the newspaper

YAY!!! What prize do I win?

 

[FallingToFly]

Knowing myself as I do...

Take the newspaper (gently) fold it (carefully) place on his desk (squarely) remove his feet from the desk (delicately) sit down across from him (demurely) look him in the eye (confidently) and proceed to explain to him (sweetly) in several of my bastardized tongues (curses) why it is a very, very bad idea to treat someone (callously) with contempt. And on my way out, I'd snag a few hairs from his head for my Pyxie.

She needs practice subjects.