So I suspect this chick I'm in love with is a vergin if so what do I do....?

[kingem125]

So i reciently started talking to this chick lets call her A... A to me just seems like a vergin I don't know why.A is such a sweet girl and I have know her since we were back in highschool and now she's freshman and I'm like in my senior yr at my college.before now I never really knew her this all that well.i always had a sneering suspicion she liked me cus she would always make a point of walking her dog past my house she would talk to me some when & if I was walking my dog.she seems so sweet hearted and kind which I'm into and she is way too cute.i'm really falling for her and I want to just make her happy and like seeing her makes me. She makes me feel like a highschool freshman all over again. It almost makes me feel like I'm talking to my first highschool crush. So I have been reading up on the whole vergin sex thing....since I'm hetro-flexable I have had vaginal sex all of once so far in my life and anal twice with this one guy. I'm about 5.5 in long and around 2 in wide.if she is a vergin it shouldn't hurt that bad because I am not too big right? Also how much force should I thrust with to break the hymen? Or should I just jently press harder and harder until finally it pops.would clit stimulation help ease this pain.also tell me what else I would need to make sex less painful for her. Also is there any thing I could tell her or say to her so she's not then scared off from sex cus it hurt the first time.also if I somewhat know what I want how would I know if she would do it...I know I should ask but how should i frase it and should I ask just as we bolth first are naked getting ready for sex...?Also should I demonstrate anything before she does it just in case, like in the case of a blow job where I like first explain and hen I would suck on her finger or what ever...?lastly if you have any Tips on how to be a ravishing love maker tell me please cus if we do it I want her to cum as well and harder then ever....? Thanks for reading and hopefully giving your always such great advice...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Does any male give this issue a thought? Naaah.

 

[fire_breeze]

So i reciently started talking to this chick lets call her A... A to me just seems like a vergin I don't know why.A is such a sweet girl and I have know her since we were back in highschool and now she's freshman and I'm like in my senior yr at my college.before now I never really knew her this all that well.i always had a sneering suspicion she liked me cus she would always make a point of walking her dog past my house she would talk to me some when & if I was walking my dog.she seems so sweet hearted and kind which I'm into and she is way too cute.i'm really falling for her and I want to just make her happy and like seeing her makes me. She makes me feel like a highschool freshman all over again. It almost makes me feel like I'm talking to my first highschool crush. So I have been reading up on the whole vergin sex thing....since I'm hetro-flexable I have had vaginal sex all of once so far in my life and anal twice with this one guy. I'm about 5.5 in long and around 2 in wide.if she is a vergin it shouldn't hurt that bad because I am not too big right? Also how much force should I thrust with to break the hymen? Or should I just jently press harder and harder until finally it pops.would clit stimulation help ease this pain.also tell me what else I would need to make sex less painful for her. Also is there any thing I could tell her or say to her so she's not then scared off from sex cus it hurt the first time.also if I somewhat know what I want how would I know if she would do it...I know I should ask but how should i frase it and should I ask just as we bolth first are naked getting ready for sex...?Also should I demonstrate anything before she does it just in case, like in the case of a blow job where I like first explain and hen I would suck on her finger or what ever...?lastly if you have any Tips on how to be a ravishing love maker tell me please cus if we do it I want her to cum as well and harder then ever....? Thanks for reading and hopefully giving your always such great advice...

First all, I am little confused: are you dating this young lady or not? Talking, I am afraid to say, is not the same as dating. Some people - women and men - are just not into flings (even in college) and others have no problem with it. Make sure you are both on the same page, because honestly, from what I am reading, it seems you just want to bang her and she doesn't even know what's going on. A high school crush (which is so far as unsubstantiated as whether or not she had one on you) is not to same as wanting to jump in the sack with you in college.

Second, if you are both ready to take that step, whether or not it is in the confines of a relationship, talk with her. Ask her. She may be just sweet but that doesn't mean that she hasn't been with anyone. She may be a virgin or she may have slept with half the dorm. Tell her that you like her and would like to see where this develops, including a physical component of the relationship - and do it in a private, but comfortable environment (so not at the local pub or in her dorm room).

Third, just because a woman is a virgin does not mean that she has a hymen. Most girls do not nowadays, with tampon use, sports and early masturbatory exploration. Some girls are not born with hymens. IF, the off-chance that she does, take it slow, lots and lots and lots and lots of foreplay and let her take the pace. Hymen doesn't pop, rather it tears or it stretches.

Fourth, you should have plenty of clit stimulation anyway, as most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Additionally, the first time you are together - whether or not she is a virgin - should be about the two of you. Focus on her, have loads of foreplay, make sure she is incredibly aroused and take it slow. What's the rush? Talk with her while having sex, and be there after. Oh, and do not forget condoms and don't you dare pout when you put it on.

Fifth, demonstrating? Really? Sorry, but I have to go with no. You may want to gently put her hands where you want them and be extremely appreciative, but I am still trying to get the image of a class and clinical demonstrations on a sterile dildo out of my head to provide any substantial advice.

Finally, have fun, enjoy yourselves. You may not even have intercourse the first time - just taking the time to explore each other's bodies with your hands and mouths first. And yes, that includes you going down on her as well as she going down on you. Find out what she likes, let her find out what you like.

The point is, my dear, is that your post is indicating a lot of assumptions. You assume that she never had any sex in her life because she seems so sweet and that she is a freshman at college. You assume that she hasn't been intimate with any man. I am not even sure if you two are even at that point where sex is on the table.

The bottom line is to have honest and sensitive conversations about sex. You need to not only talk about certain aspects of sex, but also your attitudes towards it, protection, birth control and so forth. It's been my general rule that if you cannot talk honestly about sex with your partner, then you shouldn't be having it with them.

Have fun and play safe.

 

[Miles Long]

What if A's hole is not as vergin as you think? Will that change how you view her or approach her?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

First all, I am little confused: are you dating this young lady or not? Talking, I am afraid to say, is not the same as dating. Some people - women and men - are just not into flings (even in college) and others have no problem with it. Make sure you are both on the same page, because honestly, from what I am reading, it seems you just want to bang her and she doesn't even know what's going on. A high school crush (which is so far as unsubstantiated as whether or not she had one on you) is not to same as wanting to jump in the sack with you in college.

Second, if you are both ready to take that step, whether or not it is in the confines of a relationship, talk with her. Ask her. She may be just sweet but that doesn't mean that she hasn't been with anyone. She may be a virgin or she may have slept with half the dorm. Tell her that you like her and would like to see where this develops, including a physical component of the relationship - and do it in a private, but comfortable environment (so not at the local pub or in her dorm room).

Third, just because a woman is a virgin does not mean that she has a hymen. Most girls do not nowadays, with tampon use, sports and early masturbatory exploration. Some girls are not born with hymens. IF, the off-chance that she does, take it slow, lots and lots and lots and lots of foreplay and let her take the pace. Hymen doesn't pop, rather it tears or it stretches.

Fourth, you should have plenty of clit stimulation anyway, as most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Additionally, the first time you are together - whether or not she is a virgin - should be about the two of you. Focus on her, have loads of foreplay, make sure she is incredibly aroused and take it slow. What's the rush? Talk with her while having sex, and be there after. Oh, and do not forget condoms and don't you dare pout when you put it on.

Fifth, demonstrating? Really? Sorry, but I have to go with no. You may want to gently put her hands where you want them and be extremely appreciative, but I am still trying to get the image of a class and clinical demonstrations on a sterile dildo out of my head to provide any substantial advice.

Finally, have fun, enjoy yourselves. You may not even have intercourse the first time - just taking the time to explore each other's bodies with your hands and mouths first. And yes, that includes you going down on her as well as she going down on you. Find out what she likes, let her find out what you like.

The point is, my dear, is that your post is indicating a lot of assumptions. You assume that she never had any sex in her life because she seems so sweet and that she is a freshman at college. You assume that she hasn't been intimate with any man. I am not even sure if you two are even at that point where sex is on the table.

The bottom line is to have honest and sensitive conversations about sex. You need to not only talk about certain aspects of sex, but also your attitudes towards it, protection, birth control and so forth. It's been my general rule that if you cannot talk honestly about sex with your partner, then you shouldn't be having it with them.

Have fun and play safe.

LOL These are Canadian Rules and do not apply in the USA.

 

[SunDevilGirl]

It's sweet you're putting so much thought into this.....but you're putting too much thought into this. If painful or awkward first times led to women being scared and not wanting more sex you probably wouldn't be here.

Just focus on making it feel good for both of you.

 

[kingem125]

Ok........ So the thing is it's obvious she likes me she seems way more eager for me to physically be close to her when we talk..... She seems innocent and sweet unlike the other really sweet girl I talked to my freshman year of highschool who was a female player for lack of a better word and she didn't seem quite like this girl she had a sassyness to her A just doesn't have...also other girls who have had a lot of sex tend to have more anger in them..So that's why I asume she is a vergin... Also I'm 99% sure on the whole dating thing here because she said she was single... And she seems really eager for me to be physically close to her....she also seems eager to make skin to skin contact with me...she seems happy to be around me...also remember I said back when I still lived at home in my neighborhood before I went off to college she seemed like she had a crush on me by the way she used to try to walk her dog past my house all the time and watch me as she would walk by my front yard a lot of times when I was outside.she would say hi and she would but we never really even talked in this kind of length...and I feel as if me being around her makes her happy as opposed to when she talks to other guys... I'm just asking preemptively before we date cus I want too know more about her so when I ask her out it seems more special and so I know we could hang out and do something we bolth enjoy...I also want...also what if I'm kinky..? I'm kinky not in the make me red sense but do as you please with me as I'm tied up and let me do as I please with you.i like stuff in the butt(meaning up mine). I wouldn't mind trying anal on her if she wants to try only I'm not going to force it join her or beg for it.i also like being flogged a bit while strapped down,but for some reason I don't feel that as of now that I could do that to her(that being the flogging).yet I wouldn't mind tieing her down to my bed and tickeling and messaging her naked helpless body.I wouldn't mind being tickle torchered by her.i have to say no to needles,using bodily fluids on each other externally other than just vaginal fluids or cum,absolutely no cbt or tit tying and no crazy contraptions like in internet hardcore bdsm porn...I would make it so the one bottoming would be laying on one of the two of our beds.so now how do I bring this up to her in a way that she doesn't go surfing the net and see the extreme and Theatrical stuff and think I'm some kind of killer or something...I was thinking of taking baby steps by suggesting to her that we do lesser versions of this first and trying to push slightly the boundaries of what we are doing until we end up using rope and then tell her what I like... More specificly... But this is all preemptive... Also if she had literally banged the whole world and put every thing she could in her pussy / ass I would still treat her the same way.. Cus like the old Motley Crew song said "I have a heart of gold"... I genuinely just would want to please her and I hope she would be willing to please me or at least try to understand what I was into and be willing to try it and i the same... I'm the one guy that when he says "mushy" stuff he genuinely means it... It's not just a bunch of sweet nothings it's to get into your pants it's the truth because I really feel this way.... Also dumb side note/question I'm really into hip hop and yes I am Caucasian... And I am trying to write songs that are emotional like eminems songs mockingbird or when I'm gone.... Or stuff like same love by Macklemore.... Or forbidden love by potluck... Would girls find that to be a turn off or a turn on or stupid or something.... Cus I used to do it around and I have been recording my self and so far it sounds good but I don't have quite enough for a whole cd yet...

 

[Cumference]

"I suspect she is innocent"

Immediately followed by

"Should I tie her down, flog her, butt fuck her and stick needles in her?"


I think, that you should advice her to find a nice, level headed bloke, while you try to work a little on your priorities and sense of reality.




You make all my little red warning flags pop up......
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=996227

 

[Emerson40]

Ok........

One big ol' wall of text

Kingem

Holy run-on sentences Batman! Hit the return key five or twelve times. You will probably get more responses, if your posts were presented in a more readable fashion.

 

[Cumference]

Kingem

Holy run-on sentences Batman! Hit the return key five or twelve times. You will probably get more responses, if your posts were presented in a more readable fashion.

Indeed!

"Never touching return" and "CAPS LOCK ON AT ALL TIMES" are among my red flags too!

 

[LadyVer]

Punked in Literotica.

 

[Aphro]

As long as she's not a vegan...those chicks are crazy!

 

[bumlicker]

shit im thinking !!

what the fuck college let you in? id like to know so i wont send my girls there you need to go back to high school or perhaps jr high and first learn how to spell. start there and get back to us about the girl at a later time

 

[AriadneImmortal]

First all, I am little confused: are you dating this young lady or not? Talking, I am afraid to say, is not the same as dating. Some people - women and men - are just not into flings (even in college) and others have no problem with it. Make sure you are both on the same page, because honestly, from what I am reading, it seems you just want to bang her and she doesn't even know what's going on. A high school crush (which is so far as unsubstantiated as whether or not she had one on you) is not to same as wanting to jump in the sack with you in college.

Second, if you are both ready to take that step, whether or not it is in the confines of a relationship, talk with her. Ask her. She may be just sweet but that doesn't mean that she hasn't been with anyone. She may be a virgin or she may have slept with half the dorm. Tell her that you like her and would like to see where this develops, including a physical component of the relationship - and do it in a private, but comfortable environment (so not at the local pub or in her dorm room).

Third, just because a woman is a virgin does not mean that she has a hymen. Most girls do not nowadays, with tampon use, sports and early masturbatory exploration. Some girls are not born with hymens. IF, the off-chance that she does, take it slow, lots and lots and lots and lots of foreplay and let her take the pace. Hymen doesn't pop, rather it tears or it stretches.

Fourth, you should have plenty of clit stimulation anyway, as most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Additionally, the first time you are together - whether or not she is a virgin - should be about the two of you. Focus on her, have loads of foreplay, make sure she is incredibly aroused and take it slow. What's the rush? Talk with her while having sex, and be there after. Oh, and do not forget condoms and don't you dare pout when you put it on.

Fifth, demonstrating? Really? Sorry, but I have to go with no. You may want to gently put her hands where you want them and be extremely appreciative, but I am still trying to get the image of a class and clinical demonstrations on a sterile dildo out of my head to provide any substantial advice.

Finally, have fun, enjoy yourselves. You may not even have intercourse the first time - just taking the time to explore each other's bodies with your hands and mouths first. And yes, that includes you going down on her as well as she going down on you. Find out what she likes, let her find out what you like.

The point is, my dear, is that your post is indicating a lot of assumptions. You assume that she never had any sex in her life because she seems so sweet and that she is a freshman at college. You assume that she hasn't been intimate with any man. I am not even sure if you two are even at that point where sex is on the table.

The bottom line is to have honest and sensitive conversations about sex. You need to not only talk about certain aspects of sex, but also your attitudes towards it, protection, birth control and so forth. It's been my general rule that if you cannot talk honestly about sex with your partner, then you shouldn't be having it with them.

Have fun and play safe.

*stands back and claps* amen!

 

[AriadneImmortal]

LOL These are Canadian Rules and do not apply in the USA.

Canadian rules are better anyway

 

[Touch_72]

Kingem

Holy run-on sentences Batman! Hit the return key five or twelve times. You will probably get more responses, if your posts were presented in a more readable fashion.

Yup. It's work reading through a huge mass of text. Paragraphs, punctuation and all those worrisome grammatical things help. You say you're in college, right?

 

[Touch_72]

Ok........ So the thing is it's obvious she likes me

Confirm your hypothesis. If it's obvious, ask her out. If you're hoping for the intimacy of sex with her in some more meaningful "heart of gold" (as you say) way, it starts with a relationship. You say you get those really warm feelings just being near her... date her and enjoy those for a bit.

Your mind is rushing into the sex, not to mention already breaking out whips and chains. As was said above, examine your priorities. You haven't even asked her out and you're already working up the plans for what you're going to do in bed. If she means something to you: ask her out, start building the relationship, enjoy those early relationship butterflies and warm feelings, take walks and talk with each other to get to know more... I mean, hell... you're interested in her, right? Not just sex with her, but... HER?

*IF* she is a virgin (and that is an assumption, but if you're dead set on believing it, pay attention), it's possible she may A. be nervous about rushing right into sex (insecurities not having had it before... who knows?), and/or B. she may hope for it to be MEANINGFUL. Meaningful doesn't as easily happen on a first date with a guy who's already thinking whips and chains and anal exploration. Meaningful happens with a connection and happens more out of intimacy than kink. (I'm not saying kink can't be intimate, nor have a connection... I am saying that if you're drooling for ropes and nipple clamps before even cultivating a real relationship with her, your focus is more on the act and the kink than it is on HER and CONNECTION).

also other girls who have had a lot of sex tend to have more anger in them.. So that's why I asume she is a vergin...

What?!! It's possible that rebelliousness (sometimes coupled with anger) correlates with sexual experience. There are also women who are passionate in general (the stereotypical image of the "firey" redhead as an example) and that may or may not loosely correlate. But, even if women who seem more angry have more likelihood of been sexually active, that does not mean that the calmer, sweeter ones haven't.

She may not be a raving nympho, no. She may not be a wild child. But, that does not mean she has not had sex. And I'll remind you here that if you've only had vaginal once and anal twice, you're no old hand at sex yourself. What that means is that it's possible SHE is more experienced than you, even if she's not a raving nympho or wild child.

Along with slowing the roll on the sex in favor of looking at starting, building and enjoying relationship, it'd be good to just kick the assumption out of your head. Otherwise, you may say something stupid based on it. Imagine how awkward it could be if you said something that showed you assumed she was a virgin and did so in a way that either left her feeling insulted or like you... well... assumed things about her that weren't true. So, just be done with the assumption and cross bridges when you come to them.

...also what if I'm kinky..? I'm kinky not in the make me red sense but do as you please with me as I'm tied up and let me do as I please with you.i like stuff in the butt(meaning up mine). I wouldn't mind trying anal on her if she wants to try only I'm not going to force it join her or beg for it.i also like being flogged a bit while strapped down,but for some reason I don't feel that as of now that I could do that to her(that being the flogging).yet I wouldn't mind tieing her down to my bed and tickeling and messaging her naked helpless body.I wouldn't mind being tickle torchered by her.i have to say no to needles,using bodily fluids on each other externally other than just vaginal fluids or cum,absolutely no cbt or tit tying and no crazy contraptions like in internet hardcore bdsm porn...I would make it so the one bottoming would be laying on one of the two of our beds.so now how do I bring this up to her in a way that she doesn't go surfing the net and see the extreme and Theatrical stuff and think I'm some kind of killer or something...I was thinking of taking baby steps by suggesting to her that we do lesser versions of this first and trying to push slightly the boundaries of what we are doing until we end up using rope and then tell her what I like... More specificly... But this is all preemptive...

Ever seen Hitch (the Will Smith movie)? Do you remember the scene where Albert (wasn't that his name?) was showing Hitch his dance moves? Do you remember how Hitch looked at him and said something like "Don't you EVER... do that again!"

I feel kinda like Hitch.

Knock this off. You haven't even asked her out or taken the relationship to any level more than talking a bit. On top of that, you suspect she's a virgin, but that being an assumption you have no idea what her experience level and tastes in sex are...

...and before even taking the step of asking her out, you're musing on how you can pull her into YOUR kinky fantasies?!! You're sitting here plotting out ways to work her toward exploring what YOU want to explore?!!

Even if this was some casual meet-up from craigslist or some sex personals site where it's just about getting together for the sex of it, shouldn't there be a step where you at least figure out if you're on the same sheet of music and whether these are interests you mutually share? And shouldn't that be even MORESO if it's not just a hookup for sex, but something that you want to approach with "a heart of gold" and consideration of her as part of a relationship?

Slow the roll, man. Examine your priorities. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but I'm giving you honest thoughts.

 

[Emerson40]

shit im thinking !!
what the fuck college let you in? id like to know so i wont send my girls there you need to go back to high school or perhaps jr high and first learn how to spell. start there and get back to us about the girl at a later time

Lapper of Derrière,

Shit, I'm thinking the two of you went to separate schools together.

Or maybe you had to split and share a keyboard, he got the Shift, Comma, and Apostrophe keys, and you got the Return key and Space Bar.


http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/embarrased.gif.pagespeed.ce.XZrtAZGGCt.gif

 

[Cathleen]

God love those that have given their time and thoughts to this. I can't get past the lack of, well everything, in his posts. You deserve a prize.

If the OP can't be bothered to make sense then I hit my "hard limit".

And it's VIRGIN for goodness sakes-- the rest is up to you to figure out. If you have a college education, use it!

 

[AriadneImmortal]

As long as she's not a vegan...those chicks are crazy!

Agreed. Someone had to say it.

 

[Touch_72]

As long as she's not a vegan...those chicks are crazy!

Agreed. Someone had to say it.

*lol* Well, you never know. Maybe a vergin is someone who only takes raw sex for sustenance? Oh, wait... that's raw food diet, not quite vegan. So, would it be only sex with fruits, veggies and nuts?

Those chicks can be crazy, too, I'm sure.

 

[AriadneImmortal]

*lol* Well, you never know. Maybe a vergin is someone who only takes raw sex for sustenance? Oh, wait... that's raw food diet, not quite vegan. So, would it be only sex with fruits, veggies and nuts?

Those chicks can be crazy, too, I'm sure.

Who are we kidding here though? Crazy people + fruits, veggies, and nuts = recipe for a great time. Sign me up!

 

[Touch_72]

Who are we kidding here though? Crazy people + fruits, veggies, and nuts = recipe for a great time. Sign me up!

What? Are we suggesting a party at vergin's house?

But... don't we have plenty of all those things here? Oh, I get it... it's better in person. Duh.

 

[AriadneImmortal]

What? Are we suggesting a party at vergin's house?

But... don't we have plenty of all those things here? Oh, I get it... it's better in person. Duh.

I think you're a smart one. I'll bring the melons, you bring the... ugh can't think of a penis looking vegetable... oh well, you get where I'm going with this.

Party at vergin's! Things are about to get crazy.

 

[Touch_72]

I think you're a smart one. I'll bring the melons, you bring the... ugh can't think of a penis looking vegetable... oh well, you get where I'm going with this.

Party at vergin's! Things are about to get crazy.

Do we need condoms for the "penis looking vegetable" or is this a raw food form of vegan?

(I'm starting to wonder where I turned more toward the GB dark side. This is probably the second advice seeker I'll run off in a matter of days. )