Smokers...

[WhiteKnight326]

I'm not sure if this is so much a "how to" as a "why"...

But what's up with people who smoke (at least in my experience) having little to no concern/respect/regard for the people whose faces they are blowing their cancer gas into? I work with several people who will just light up and puff right in your face like it's nothing... and I feel extremely awkward wanting to say something so I usually just move away and downwind of them.

And I apologize for the considerate smokers out there Thank you for caring enough to stay away!

But it's not just a preference thing... I mean if someone wore bad clothes it would be annoying and I'd probably stay away still but this is an unethical infringement on the health choices that are made by human beings. No, Mr. smoker, it is NOT ok for you to stink up my air and clothes, pollute my breathing space, and give me cancer. Thank you for asking!

I just feel the people I have in mind just see it as a totally nonchalant thing... like "Well, I think I'll sit down now" just "Well, I think I'll smoke now" assuming it has no effects outside of their own mind and body? Well... it does! I'm growing sick of this lack of consideration. Where do they get the nerve?

Privately, I don't mind at all. Do what you want behind closed (air-tight) doors. But around other people who have not expressed their consent to this behavior, please do not!

I guess this has turned into more of a vent than a question at all

Well, for both smokers and non-smokers, what goes through your head? (or what doesn't?) I just don't even see how anyone could be so inconsiderate like this...

 

[Ksb]

If you think the law of your country should be changed, do something more constructive than bitching on a porn site. Whilst it's legal for me to smoke outside, i will.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

If you think the law of your country should be changed, do something more constructive than bitching on a porn site. Whilst it's legal for me to smoke outside, i will.

I know you will. Why?

 

[Ksb]

Why not? I want to. That's good enough for me.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

Why not? I want to. That's good enough for me.

Thank you

 

[SweetErika]

People have a right to smoke in a public area where it's not prohibited. People who don't want to be around smokers or smoke have a right to move to wherever they're most comfortable. Just like if someone's wearing awful smelling perfume/cologne or has an offensive body odor or is carrying flowers that irritate your allergies, you're free to move to an area that smells or feels better to you.

I'm sure you live in a place where there are no smoking establishments. If you don't like places with smoke, go patronize the places without. Or move to a state like mine with idiotic laws about not being able to smoke in any establishment except for Native casinos and rules against smoking within 25 feet of any doorway. I hear some CA cities are even trying to ban ALL smoking outdoors. And "good" Mormons don't smoke; there are a lot of them in Utah cities and where the fundamentalists congregate. Maybe you'd be happiest in one of those anti-smoking cities.

I'm ALL for considerate smokers (and bathers, and scent-wearers, and talkers, and cell phone users...). I don't like people who are inconsiderate, period. But I'm also all for taking personal responsibility and having the freedom to do things that are legal. It's not that hard to move a couple of feet away or walk around someone who's smoking, FFS, just like it's not that hard for me to walk away if someone's talking too loud or annoying me in general!

And the reality is that 99% of us are constantly exposed to many more things that are far more carcinogenic and harmful to our health than getting a whiff of secondhand smoke every now and then. Read up on BPA in many plastics and parabens, for starters. Pthalates are really nasty, too. I'd love for those and a lot of other chemicals to be banned, but instead, I choose to take responsibility for myself by not buying/using products that contain them.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

I never meant to imply I couldn't walk away. I understand the laws, and know I have the right not only to move away and avoid it, but also to say something if I felt the need. I also understand that every breath of "clean" air I take infects me with millions of little cancer cells and unspeakably bad things

This is neither a post trying to change/enforce any laws, nor whine about health issues.

What I was trying to get across (and apparently I should have written even more about it?) is wouldn't someone who smokes care the little bit enough to ask if its ok around you? This happened once to me... I was reading outside and someone asked me if they could sit near me and smoke. I politely said of course they could, and moved to another spot. I was actually impressed that they asked me as most people would just sit there and do it.

My questions is why? Do smokers honestly think it's harmless to us or that we just dont care? Do they not even care the tiniest bit enough to ask if its ok or, better yet, move far enough away that they wouldn't bother anyone?

Let me repeat... I know I can move away. I know I can ask them to move or put it out; I know I have many options to avoid this situation. And I know that second-hand smoke is not the only unhealthy thing in the air.

If I was going to play with my ultraviolet flashlight in public where it was legal and where everyone there knew it was legal... I think I would at least have the courtesy to do so away from harming other people, or ask if they mind me giving them cancer. Not just *plop* here I am, harming innocent non-consenting people's health because I want to, and damn it, I can!

See my point?

 

[Ksb]

No-one has ever asked me not to smoke around them. I don't think many people mind, as they seem to have no problems in questioning my choice of attire in rather rude ways, at times. It seems strange to ask for permission for something that is permitted. You chose to pick a rather uncommon thing to equate smoking to - do you ask your neighbours if they mind the noise before you have wild kinky sex? Or do you assume, like me, that some people might find it annoying, but if they really minded they'd say something?

 

[WhiteKnight326]

No-one has ever asked me not to smoke around them. I don't think many people mind, as they seem to have no problems in questioning my choice of attire in rather rude ways, at times. It seems strange to ask for permission for something that is permitted. You chose to pick a rather uncommon thing to equate smoking to - do you ask your neighbours if they mind the noise before you have wild kinky sex? Or do you assume, like me, that some people might find it annoying, but if they really minded they'd say something?

Ugly clothes and loud noises are annoying. Blowing a cloud of what has been medically proven to cause cancer and other detrimental health effects unwelcomingly into someone's face/breathing air is a bit more than "annoying"...

 

[Ksb]

People honestly do that to you? They don't just smoke near you? There's a difference. If you're being assaulted by smokers at your workplace, you should really speak to someone about it.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

People honestly do that to you? They don't just smoke near you? There's a difference. If you're being assaulted by smokers at your workplace, you should really speak to someone about it.

Not assaulted I work outside, in public areas, and often someone/a group will light up, leaving the non-smokers or those who might prefer at the time not to smell/breath second hand smoke to their own devices. I just think it might be nice if they would go FAR off while they smoke, or at least do/say something other than assume it's ok and welcome. That's all

 

[Ksb]

Why should they move when you're the one with the problem? It seems like you expect these people to know what you want, and then comply with it - if you don't even vocalise your grievances to them, you're not giving them reason to behave any differently. They think it's ok because that's what most people think.

 

[baristagirl]

Get over it and walk away. If they're in a place where smoking is prohibited, who are you to stop them? If a crazy preacher man was ranting about something you didn't want to hear, would you try to stop him or walk away? Sure, smoke causes cancer... but it won't from a few feet away.

You came to the wrong website to complain about people doing things that you don't like!

 

[SweetErika]

Why should they move when you're the one with the problem? It seems like you expect these people to know what you want, and then comply with it - if you don't even vocalise your grievances to them, you're not giving them reason to behave any differently. They think it's ok because that's what most people think.

Exactly.

Look, most of the smokers I know are very considerate people in general. You, WK, seem to be ragging on smokers as a group, when the reality is that there are considerate smokers and inconsiderate smokers, just like there are considerate and inconsiderate non-smokers. I don't like that, and getting irritated is bad for MY health, but instead of saying you and most smoke-haters are inconsiderate, I'll just choose to keep my distance from you and anyone else I find to be inconsiderate or cause me stress. After all, it's your right to behave however you want as long as it's legal, and it's my responsibility to stay away from stress if I feel it's harmful to me, right?

I may be exaggerating a bit to make my point, but I still don't agree with the way you're casting a very large group in the same negative light and elevating your desires above others' desires.

Out of curiosity, why'd you put your gripe here in How To, instead of on the General Board?

 

[cloudy]

I'm ALL for considerate smokers (and bathers, and scent-wearers, and talkers, and cell phone users...). I don't like people who are inconsiderate, period. But I'm also all for taking personal responsibility and having the freedom to do things that are legal. It's not that hard to move a couple of feet away or walk around someone who's smoking, FFS, just like it's not that hard for me to walk away if someone's talking too loud or annoying me in general!

And the reality is that 99% of us are constantly exposed to many more things that are far more carcinogenic and harmful to our health than getting a whiff of secondhand smoke every now and then. Read up on BPA in many plastics and parabens, for starters. Pthalates are really nasty, too. I'd love for those and a lot of other chemicals to be banned, but instead, I choose to take responsibility for myself by not buying/using products that contain them.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

I smoke outside. I'm considerate, not smoking in others' homes or their cars, but if I'm outside, don't bitch about my smoking. FFS, if someone doesn't like it, just a couple of steps will get them away from it. Deal.

What I was trying to get across (and apparently I should have written even more about it?) is wouldn't someone who smokes care the little bit enough to ask if its ok around you?

Tell you what: as long as we're outside, I'll ask if its okay to smoke around you when you start asking me if its okay to breathe around me.

 

[Sunflowerrr]

I smoke. I will smoke around almost anyone. If they don't like it just politely ask me not too or to move away from you and I will kindly. But be a fucking douche, chances are I will just make it worse.

 

[Chicklet]

...the reality is that there are considerate smokers and inconsiderate smokers, just like there are considerate and inconsiderate non-smokers.

This is exactly what I was thinking when I read the OP.

Not all people are jerks; not all smokers don't care about what you want. A lot of my friends smoke, and they do it around the corner from me, alone, and try not to blow it in other people's faces. Honestly, half the time if someone's cigarette smoke is bothering me, and I'm in a position where I can't get away from it, I'll ask them if they wouldn't mind helping me out by smoking it quickly and not lighting up for a bit, or moving, and half the time they'll do it.

Most people aren't out to annoy you or anyone else. A lot of people develop habits that are annoying to others, without even realizing they have them. I tend to talk down to people, and when it's pointed out that I'm doing it, I'll be VERY careful NOT to do that.

 

[bettigirl]

Why should they move when you're the one with the problem? It seems like you expect these people to know what you want, and then comply with it - if you don't even vocalise your grievances to them, you're not giving them reason to behave any differently. They think it's ok because that's what most people think.

I could not agree more.
I am a heavy smoker, I do not smoke in certain circumstances out of courtesy for others, around kids, certain members of my family or a pregnant woman. I will not smoke in a non-smokers home or car, even if they tell me it is okay.
If asked politely to refrain, I usually will, I know how much it bothers people. However, if I am smoking in an area that is not posted as "non-smoking" and you chose to mutter under your breath at me as opposed to asking me to refrain for some reason, I will chain smoke until you go away.
If a non-smoker cannot show me the courtesy to ask or is rude to me, they can expect similar treatment.

 

[Ezzy]

If you find something objectionable and you say nothing, you are implying consent.

If the area you are talking about is one where smoking is permitted, shut up and move away, if it is in an area where smoking is not allowed, then why are you encouraging them by saying nothing?

I'm an ex-smoker and I really dislike the smell of smoke on clothes etc. but if folks are smoking where they shouldn't be, I'll ask them to move to where they can smoke.

 

[babeandhertoy]

I smoke outside. I'm considerate, not smoking in others' homes or their cars, but if I'm outside, don't bitch about my smoking. FFS, if someone doesn't like it, just a couple of steps will get them away from it. Deal.

My feelings exactly.

Inside places where I'm technically still allowed to smoke but am surrounded by non-smokers who have no chance to avoid the fumes, smell etc. I will politely ask before I light up. If you have any objections I expect you to say so and I'll be happy to oblige and step outside, no problem. I'll get soaked in the rain or freeze my ass off on balconies but I'll do that if it makes you happy.

Outside is another thing entirely. There you actually have a choice whether you want to stand close to somebody who smokes or not. You don't like it? Not my problem. Step away!

Consideration is a thing that goes both ways, you know, and while I show you the courtesy of respecting your request not to smoke indoors I expect that outdoors, the very one place where I'm still perfectly free to smoke to my little heart's content, the non-smoker will show me some understanding.

 

[Noira]

I'm an asthmatic. It makes it very hard for me to breathe when people smoke around me. I ask them to move away or move away myself if I can. Most are pretty respectful of that fact that it could hurt me. But there's always going to be inconsiderate smokers. There's inconsiderate EVERYTHINGS. Now, if they start chasing you to breathe on you, that's harassment, but no one's stopping you from leaving.

I suspect they just do it to 'be cool', if they're actually blowing smoke in your face. And if it bothers you, it's your duty to speak up for your rights. Otherwise it appears that you've expressed consent, as posted before.

 

[Username_In_Use]

Back when I used to smoke, I usually tried to be at least like 20 ft away from anybody around me. Had to quit because apparantly I have weak bronchial tubes and I was continually getting bronchitis and various infections and whatnot.

 

[muffandstuff]

people think of smokers as bad people but think about this. between cars and trucks that we drive put out more harmfull gas we don't see but smell and cause cancer more than smokers. so i think the no smokers should park there cars and trucks and stay home. but i'll bet the nosmokers due drink and drive and kill people.

 

[WhiteKnight326]

Thanks for all the discussion so far. I really appreciate those of you who do smoke and try your best to do so away from other people. That's what I was talking about being considerate, and that makes a world of difference.

Otherwise, I guess I'm still not being clear lol

I'm not implying I can't do anything about it. I can, and I do. I know cars pollute the air. I know there are worse things in the world.

I think the post that mentioned inconsiderate smokers and inconsiderate everythings was right on. I just feel there's a difference between being loud and obnoxious and putting someone around you at a direct risk for cancer that they wouldn't have had before you came along.

I'm not complaining about laws or not being able to do anything (notice the emphasis through repetition) Just even though it is ok, legal, allowed, etc... how can someone walk up to a group of people, join in the conversation, and then just start smoking in your face like it's nothing? I know you can. I know it's legal. I know I can walk away. I guess I just feel like I should have the right to sit/stand where I had been before and not have smoke in my face all of a sudden, just as smokers have the right to do so in certain places... seems like they don't allow eachother...

Discuss

 

[culloden]

people think of smokers as bad people but think about this. between cars and trucks that we drive put out more harmfull gas we don't see but smell and cause cancer more than smokers. so i think the no smokers should park there cars and trucks and stay home. but i'll bet the nosmokers due drink and drive and kill people.

I'd be very interested to see the science behind this. I know I'm completely missing the logic.